Darkness and Light
by kitkat681
Summary: Edward Cullen is a brilliant man who only has one thing missing from his life... his sight. What can insecure, unloved Bella Swan help him find? Canon pairings AH.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Not Mine**

**A/N: On my hideously long drive home from the Eclipse premier Wednesday, I needed some way to stay awake. When I allowed my mind to go crazy… this is what came out. This is my first foray into the world of AH and writing in the 3****rd**** person.**

**I have already made Dalloway5906 cry with the upcoming chapters of this story, so be prepared. This is not all kittens and sunshine. I will warn you when to break out the tissues. You should be ok with this chapter. **

**I will be posting weekly, most likely on Saturdays. I hope you enjoy it! If you do, please let me know!**

**I owe Dallyoway5906 big time for beta'ing this for me. **

Edward Cullen was a smart man with a full life. He had two proud and loving parents and an older brother and sister that admired him. He had graduated high school by the time he was 16 and received an Undergraduate degree in Music from Seattle University at 19. Now, two years later, he was finishing his Master's in Music from Ball State. This would have been an accomplishment for anyone, but Edward Cullen made it even more of an impossibility.

Edward Cullen was blind.

He was not born blind. Up until the age of 10, Edward Cullen had been a fairly normal child. He excelled in school, was a virtuoso on the piano and was well on his way to fulfilling his dream of becoming a veterinarian. He volunteered as a Veterinary technician, and was never happier than when he was able to go on house calls and help to deliver a baby cow or sheep. Blood never bothered him, and the joy he felt when he watched the tiny lamb take its first shaky steps made it all worth it.

When Edward developed a slight fever and muscle aches, his father the doctor put him to bed, sure that he had caught a mild case of the flu. The symptoms continued for weeks, bringing with them blurred vision and mild headaches. By the time his parents took him to a specialist, he was beyond help. Edward had contracted a very rare virus that primarily affected animals, Rift Valley Fever. In a twist of fate, Edward had picked up the virus when he helped to deliver a lamb weeks earlier. Usually the symptoms mirror that of the common flu, but of course Edward had to do everything to the extreme. Once the doctors realized what they were dealing with, it was too late. The lesions had attacked the macula of his eye, leaving him permanently blind.

Most adults, when receiving the news that they would never see again, fell into a deep depression. Everyone expected the same to happen to Edward. All of his dreams were suddenly taken away. He would never be able to be a veterinarian when he was not able to see. Everyone around the little boy was shocked when, after hearing his diagnosis, he asked if he would still be able to play the piano. Of course, there was no way for him to read the music, but his fingers and ears still worked just fine. That day, sitting there in that large hospital bed, Edward Cullen changed his dream.

He wanted to become a musician.

His parents, Carlisle and Esme, supported him. They arranged for him to have tutors and were able to help him finish high school without having to go to a typical classroom. The Cullens were very wealthy, so finding a university to agree to have their son receive his degree through correspondence courses was not too difficult. When Edward decided he wanted to pursue his Master's degree in music, that was where they ran into some trouble. Although everything eventually worked out, Edward would be receiving his degree in a few weeks and Ball State had a new library on campus with the Cullen's name on it.

Edward's brother and sister, Emmett and Alice, were overwhelmingly supportive. They witnessed firsthand how determined and courageous their brother could be, and quickly realized that if Edward set his mind to something, it was better to just let him follow through with it. So it surprised everyone when Alice refused to accompany Edward to the high school stadium so Edward could run on the track.

"Edward, I'm sorry, but I can't let you do this. It would be so easy for you to stray from the track and fall. Where would you be if something happened to your hands? What if you were unable to play the piano? I have seen you lose one dream already, I can stand by and watch you risk another." She sighed as her brother stood before her wearing track pants, a t-shirt and running shoes. He held dark glasses and his white cane in his hands.

"Alice, I know you are worried, but please trust me. I would never do anything to put myself at risk." He said quietly as he reached his hand out to trace the shape of his sister's face. It was getting harder to remember what his family members looked like, but her features snapped back into his mind the second his fingers traveled over her face. He wondered how he could have forgotten the delicate curve of her jaw and the sharp points of her spiky hair as it protruded from her scalp. He could not see that her naturally dark hair was now a shocking pink or that she was wearing bright yellow contacts over her usual smoky gray eyes. Alice was having a crisis of self, not sure what she wanted to do now that she had received her degree in Art History. All of her classmates had gone out to work in galleries and museums, yet she was floundering. Her parents supported her choices, never forcing her into something that did not make her happy.

Alice sighed dramatically, causing her brother to internally pump his fist, knowing she was going to agree to his request. She changed into a bright orange leotard and purple leg warmers, slipping her feet into clean, white sneakers. Setting oversized sunglasses on her face regardless of the fact that there was only a few minutes left of daylight, she yanked Edward out the door and into the passenger seat of her pride and joy, a sleek silver BMW X6 hybrid. With all of the chemicals she was releasing into the environment changing the color of her hair every other week, she thought she should do her part by driving a hybrid.

The trip to Forks High School took longer than Edward remembered. He had been there frequently when he was younger to participate in mandatory state testing. He hated walking through the halls with his mother griping his arm and his cane rhythmically tapping on the tile floor. He had often wished he had been able to attend school with his peers, but those few forays into the seeing world changed his mind. His other senses were more sensitive since he was missing one, and the whispers echoed loudly in his ears. He hated the pity and the taunts. Without fail, his mother would drive home with silent tears trailing down her cheeks from the harsh words that had been slung at her son. Edward was used to the teasing by now, but he still hated to hear the sympathy. He had a very full life, he should not be pitied.

When the car stopped, Edward popped his seatbelt off and all but jumped out of the car. He had been doing some research on the affect music had on the perceived exertion of exercise, and he was looking forward to seeing if the studies were correct. He also wanted to try and improve his aerobic health. He often found himself slightly out of breath after performing a particularly difficult piece of music. His research all led him to believe that running would be a wonderful way to increase his lung capacity and stamina. With a guiding hand from Alice and the use of his cane, he was able to enter onto the track and make one lap around to orient himself. He had chosen this time of day carefully, twilight. He knew since he was a beginning runner, he would not have the endurance he knew would come with continued training. He also knew that since he was lacking the help of sight to coordinate his movements, he might look a bit strange. He wanted as few witnesses as possible.

Alice took a seat on the lowest row of bleachers as she watched her youngest brother make his way around the track. He held his cane loosely in one hand, allowing it to graze along the ground to alert him to any obstacles ahead. After one pass he was able to judge when the path curved and tossed the cane onto the grass. Tears pooled in her eyes as she saw Edward slowly meander along the track, his face completely relaxed. She hated to cry around him, he despised sympathy, but it was hard for her to watch her little brother missing out on normal activities because of his disability. She had to admit that he was making the most of his life, unlike herself. She was so caught up in her pity party, she never noticed that someone had joined her brother on the track.

Isabella Swan made her way slowly towards the track. She almost walked right back out to her car after seeing that someone else was here. She came to the track at dusk in hopes that she would be able to slowly jog her two miles and get back home without anyone seeing her. She had lived in Forks since she moved from Phoenix midway through her junior year. Her mother, Renee, was a former beauty queen and was constantly trying to mold Isabella into her version of perfection. That meant that every day Isabella was plucked, tweezed and scolded for eating too many carbs. She was enrolled in dance classes when she was three to try and keep her thin, but Renee was so embarrassed after Isabella fell during one of the performances, she pulled her out. Grace was not Isabella's middle name. Things started to get worse when she was six and fell and skinned her knee. Renee ranted and yelled at her for scaring up her knees because now she would never be able to wear pretty dresses. Little Isabella cried herself to sleep that night and dreamt about beautiful lace dresses covered in blood.

Renee had gotten pregnant by a small town boy when she was 17. She took Isabella grudgingly but left the boy in the small town. Charlie Swan worked hard to make something of himself so he could do right by his daughter. He went to Phoenix to visit her every summer, and started to notice that she was not the same sweet, self-assured child he once knew. Isabella, or Bella as he called her, had grown sullen and quiet, gaining weight and refusing to adhere to her mother's nagging requests on how she should keep her hair. By the time Bella was 17, things had gotten so bad with Renee, Bella called and begged Charlie to let her come live with him. Charlie Swan was a smart man. Being the Chief of Police had earned him the respect of everyone in the town, but he was clueless as to how to raise a teenage daughter. Bella was very self sufficient. She cooked and cleaned and never caused any problems for Charlie. If not for the rumors he heard from the teachers at Bella's school he would have though that she was adjusting very well.

Bella was the new kid in town. Not only was she the new kid, she was the overweight, daughter of the hard ass police chief. Bella had put up with snide comments and teasing all her life from her mother. She thought nothing could hurt worse than hearing the woman who gave you life call you a cow. She was wrong. Because while she was one of a couple hundred kids in her class in Phoenix, there were far fewer kids in her class in Forks. Bella made sure never to cry in front of Charlie, she did not want him to think she missed her mom and send her back. That could not have been further from the truth. Bella was so excited to be away from her controlling, demanding mother, she would have put up with anything to stay. At least that is what she thought until she met Rosalie Hale.

Rosalie Hale was the picture of perfection. Her blonde hair fell in giant waves over her shoulders. Her clothes were the cutting edge of style and her face was made to be on the big screen. If only she believed half of the things people told her. Like Bella, Rosalie's mother was demanding and controlling. Only Rose acquiesced to her mother's commands. Where Bella snuck cookies and chips to defy her mother, Rose never ate anything that could be construed as junk. Where Bella avoided any beauty products, Rose practically bathed in lotions and oils to try and keep her skin perfect. But like Bella, because her mother was always trying to change something about her, Rose only saw the imperfections. While Bella kept her pain on the inside, Rose spewed it to the world. No one was ever good enough for Rosalie Hale, and she let people know.

Bella's first day at Forks High, she accidently tripped over Rose's designer handbag that was left carelessly in the middle of the aisle. When Bella hit the floor, splitting her lip on the hard linoleum, Rose was the first person in her face, screaming at her for getting blood on her purse. When Bella tripped trying to climb up the bleachers during an assembly, Rose was the one to announce loudly that cows were not meant to climb stairs. Bella tried hard to find something good about Rose, but the only thing she could come up with was that her boyfriend, Emmett Cullen, was nice. And Emmett was nice. He helped pick up her books when she tripped in the hallway. He escorted her to the nurse when she got hit in the head with a racket during gym class. He always made sure to watch her after one of Rose's tirades to make sure she would not break down in front of everyone. He had no idea what he would do if she did start crying, but he knew that he would have done something. Emmett Cullen could see what Rose's words were doing to poor Isabella Swan, but whenever he would try to talk to Rose about it, she would cry and scream and throw herself at him, begging him to love her. So Emmett stopped talking about it because he hated to see the self-loathing in his love's eyes.

Things did not improve much when Bella went away to college. She was surprised to have been accepted to Dartmouth and threw herself into her studies. She wanted to be able to one day become a social worker, so she would be able to see a child like herself or Rosalie Hale and help them. She graduated a year early with a Bachelor's degree in Psychology and a list of references a mile long. When you don't socialize at all you have plenty of time to devote to studying and getting in your professor's good graces. Bella decided to return back home to Forks after she graduated, knowing that her father had missed her, or at least her cooking.

As Bella became reacquainted with her former home, she found that not much had changed. Rosalie Hale was now Rosalie Cullen. She and Emmett had married after they had finished their degrees at UDub, early childhood education and wildlife conservation respectively. They built a house on the massive Cullen Estate and were currently trying to start a family of their own before Rose started to teach. It was amazing what you could learn while grocery shopping.

Bella had started to lose some weight while in college, but it was very difficult when you were surrounded by food at the cafeteria 24/7. Now that she was home, she was trying to cook healthier for both herself and Charlie, who had started to gain a little around his middle. Bella's first trip to the Forks High School track had been disastrous. Five minutes into her run/walk/jog, she had caught the edge of her sneaker on a rock and went down hard. She laid on the cold track in the dark and cried until her eyes were puffy and her throat was sore. After her tears were dried, she got up and dusted herself off. She finished her two miles, and had been back every day since.

Tonight was the first time she had ever seen anyone else at the stadium. She did not notice the sprite of a girl curled up in a ball on the bleacher, crying silently as she waited for her brother to finish his run. She only saw the fit, confident man slowly making his way around the track. She wanted to turn around and go home, but knew she would feel horrible later if she did not get her two miles in. Resigned to the fact that she would have to run alongside this man, she shoved her ear buds into her ears and hit play on her iPod. The relaxing melodies of Debussy flowed over her and she entered the track, heading to the most inside lane.

She tried to pace herself so she was always slightly out of the man's eye line, but he was a good runner and was quickly gaining on her. When she could hear his footfalls over the music coming from her iPod, she pushed pause to make sure her breathing was not too loud. She would hate for him to hear her huffing and puffing like a beached whale. His breathing was even and quiet, as if he were measuring each breath so they would each be exactly the same. She slowed her pace, hoping he would continue ahead of her without stopping to talk. She had not realized she had stopped breathing until she suddenly became lightheaded and her steps faltered. Her feet veered to the right and she felt herself colliding with the man. They hit the ground hard, him breaking her fall. She cried out as she felt a sharp pain in her side where she landed on his bony elbow.

Bella looked down at the man currently underneath her and found her breath trapped in her chest for a second time. He was beautiful, his jaw broad and chiseled, his mouth was full and slightly wet from the nervous swipes his tongue was making across the flesh. His hair was wild and colorless in the waning moonlight. But his eyes were what captivated Bella. She had never seen eyes as green as this man's. They had been covered by dark glasses, which now lay broken next to him. Even in the low light, she was able to see the jade and peridot fighting for supremacy in his iris. She wanted nothing more than to lay there against him and stare into his eyes forever, but a screeching voice brought her out of her reverie.

"What are you doing to my brother? Are you hurt Edward?" She yelled as she all but pushed Bella off of the man who was still laying on the ground.

"No Alice, I'm fine. Why don't you check on the young lady, since I am sure I heard a snap when we landed?" He replied in a voice as smooth and rich as espresso. Alice looked over at the girl who had now wrapped her arm around her waist, wincing in pain.

"I'm sorry, are you hurt?" Alice asked Bella, only keeping half of her attention on the chubby girl. The other half was on her brother who had still not gotten up off of the ground.

"I think I am alright. I just have a sharp pain in my side." Bella said, grimacing as she tried to take a deep breath.

"Sounds like a broken rib." Edward said as he finally pushed himself off of the ground, much to his sister's relief. "I think we should take you to the hospital to get it checked out."

Bella was shaking her head swiftly as she slowly backed away from the pair. Alice was looking at her quizzically but the man was still staring off into space, his beautifully expressive eyes gazing unseeing into the dark.

"No, really this was all my fault. I'll be fine. I have lots of practice with broken bones. Don't worry about it." Bella said as she finally, albeit reluctantly turned away from the man and his sister.

"At least tell me your name." His prefect voice called after her.

"I'm Bella. And I'm so sorry I ruined your run." Bella said as she turned back to extend her hand to the man. His face remained the same, as if he were ignoring her outstretched hand. She was suddenly hit with a wave of sadness that this man was just like the rest. Who would want to touch something so hideous?

As if finally realized what was happening, Alice jumped in and grabbed her brother's hand, placing it next to Bella's much smaller one.

"I'm Edward."

As Edward's large, capable hand enveloped Bella's delicate one, chills ran down the spines of both of them, causing them each to unconsciously tighten their grips. As Bella's hand squeezed Edward's he suddenly cried out in pain and she quickly released him. Alice tried very hard not to glare at Bella as she rushed to her brother's side. She knew what it would mean if something was wrong with Edward's hand. His piano was his entire life.

"Let's go. I'll call Dad on the way and he can meet us there." Alice said as she bent down and picked up Edward's ruined glasses. She wrapped her arm around Edward's waist and started to lead him towards the parking lot. He held his injured hand against his chest and tipped his head down towards the ground. Bella could see the unmistakable moisture glistening on his cheeks that relayed how much pain the beautiful man was experiencing. Her chest hurt as she realized that she had caused this. She turned to walk towards her car when something white caught her eye. As she got closer to the object that lay in the grass, she realized what it was she was looking at. The pain in her side was forgotten as she put the pieces together. The beautiful man she had injured was blind. This was his cane, which he would need. She was going to have to go to the hospital not only to return his cane and check on him, but to see what was wrong with herself, because it should not hurt this much to breathe.

**A/N: So? Show me the love!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: Hello again! I bring you chapter two of the most pathetic Bella ever. Really, I'm not kidding, she is pitiful! Updating schedule is still weekly on Saturdays. Expect things to stay dark for a while, but I have method to my madness.**

**Thank you to everyone who took the time to review. They are still in my inbox waiting for me to get my ass in gear and reply!  
**

**My other story, **_**'Silent Auction',**_** is nearly complete. The final chapter will post tomorrow and then an epi will follow next Sunday. Go check it out if you like vamps and fighting and a Bella with no barrier between her brain and her mouth.**

**Dalloway5906 is my beta extraordinaire and her story **_**'Bittersweet'**_** is rocking my world. I am 14 chapters ahead of y'all and let me tell you, her Emmett is unbelievably hot!**

Alice was frantic as she relayed the past few minutes to her father. Carlisle Cullen was a wonderful physician and Forks Community Hospital was lucky to have someone like him on staff. Carlisle was already getting into his car after answering the tearful call from his daughter. She was not able to give him much information about Edward's injuries, only that he was silently sobbing in the passenger seat as he clutched his hand to his chest. Thousands of thoughts were going through Carlisle's head as he worried about what could possibly be wrong with his son. What scared him the most was that it had been nearly 20 years since he had witnessed his son cry.

Alice pulled into the hospital parking lot at the same time as her father. When Edward made no move to get out of the car, she flagged Carlisle down and together they were able to get him inside. They were immediately escorted into a private trauma room and Carlisle went into doctor mode. He made Alice go out and call her mother, since he had been unable to explain his abrupt departure without turning her into a blubbering mess. While Alice stared out the window as she spoke calmly to her mother, Bella Swan came unnoticed into the waiting room. The recognizable white cane was held tightly in her hands. She wanted to return it to its owner and make sure he was alright before she got herself checked out. It was still incredibly painful to take a deep breath and she had started to notice a faint clicking noise when her ribcage expanded.

Bella followed the hum of activity to a small room located in the furthest corner of the emergency room. As usual, her presence was not noticed as she blended into the scenery, too plain to garner anyone's attention. She stood quietly outside of the room as she watched a tall blond doctor talk quietly to Edward. He was still holding his hand against him, as if the pain was so extreme he was unable to release it. Bella's eyes filled with tears as she realized she had done that. The doctor spoke softly to Edward, trying to get him to explain what had happened. Tears were trailing down his face as he finally acknowledged the doctor's presence and started speaking.

"I could see Dad. When she touched me, I could see her face." He whispered, as if worried that by saying it out loud would make him sound crazy.

Bella's gasp broke the silence and her grip on the cane faltered as it clattered to the tile floor. The doctor's head snapped up to her and she flushed scarlet as she realized she had been caught eavesdropping on a private conversation. She tried to spin around quickly to leave, but her feet got tangled in the fallen cane and she went down hard on her injured side. Her cry of pain echoed in the empty hallway and tears sprang into her eyes. The doctor was next to her before she was able to right herself and she looked apologetically into his eyes.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered.

"Were you the girl who collided with my son?" Carlisle asked, wondering how much the girl had heard of his son's confession.

"Yes, I'm sorry about that as well. Is he… will he be alright?" Bella breathed, trying not to expand her ribcage any more than she had too, the pain was excruciating after her most recent collision with the floor.

Carlisle glanced back at his son sitting calmly on the exam table. He knew Edward would be able to hear everything they said.

"I think he will be just fine. How about we take you into the room here and we can check you out as well." Carlisle said as he grabbed her under her arms and gently pulled her to her feet. As always, when someone touched her body, Bella was completely mortified. After escorting Bella into the room, he encouraged Edward to climb off of the table and sit in the chair next to the table. Ignoring Bella's complaints that she could sit in the chair, Edward hopped down and sat in the chair, still keeping his hand protected. Carlisle was still concerned as to why Edward would not release his hand, but he had nothing to worry about. Edward was just afraid if he let anyone else touch his hand, whatever magic the girl had would be lost forever.

Carlisle stepped into the hall to order a chest x-ray for Bella and Edward took the opportunity to inquire about her injuries.

"Are you ok? Is it your rib?" He queried, knowing already that she most likely had a fractured rib from the way she was panting shallowly.

"Please don't ask about me. I'm the one who caused all of this. I deserve whatever I get. Are you ok?" She asked, petrified that he was keeping his injuries from his father, the doctor.

His face lit up and her breath exploded out of her chest at the sight of him. He was radiant, like a child gazing at the gifts under the Christmas tree. He was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Her heart clenched tightly in her chest as she witnessed his vacant eyes filling with tears again. She jumped down off the table, pain radiating through her chest as her feet hit the floor hard, and kneeled down at his side. She cautiously placed her hand on his covered knee and leaned toward him.

"Does something hurt? Is there anything I can do to help you? Do you want me to get someone?" She rattled off quickly, petrified that she had done something to cause him more pain.

He turned his face down to where she was gazing up at him, his green eyes sparkling amidst the tears. He cautiously brought his injured hand towards her, stopping just short of making contact with her skin. Carlisle chose that moment to come back in the room, stopping suddenly when he witnessed what was happening with his son and this mysterious girl.

"May I touch you?" Edward whispered. Bella nodded, but blushed fiercely as she realized he would not be able to see it.

"Yes." She breathed as his smile widened and he gently placed his fingers against her cheek.

The same tingles that shot down her spine when he touched her at the track ran wildly from the place where his skin met hers. Her deep brown eyes were wide as she watched him carefully. His fingertips ran delicately along the curve of her jaw before he ended at her chin and moved his hand so he could cradle her face in his wide palm. He blinked suddenly and then his startled green eyes met her brown ones.

"Hello Bella." He whispered as fresh tears spilled from his eyes.

"You can see me?" She cried, unconsciously leaning back and breaking their contact. He blinked wildly and his face fell as he was enveloped back into darkness. Realizing what she had done, she lunged forward and grabbed hold of his hand, dropping it again when he let out a cry of pain. Carlisle jumped forward and gently cradled Edward's hand in his own as he sat on a stool.

"What is it Edward?" He asked, barley sparing a glance at the grief stricken girl perched at the edge of the exam table.

"I think it might be a metacarpal." He breathed. "Did you see Dad? Did you see?"

"I saw Edward. Why don't we get this x-rayed and then we can take care of the young lady as well." Carlisle said, trying to get things moving so he could spend a moment speaking to an associate from psychiatry. He worried that the stress had finally gotten to Edward.

"One minute please. Bella, can I try it again?" Edward pleaded, still trying to stem the tide of tears.

Bella sat motionless, her chest tight with unshed tears and her own pain. She looked from green pleading eyes to bright blue disbelieving eyes. The green eyes won out and she leaned forward so Edward could make contact with her face again, not wanting to risk hurting him again.

Edward reached his hand up again, reveling in the softness of Bella's skin before placing his palm flat against the exposed skin of her throat. His eyes flew open wide as the rods and cones of his retina were bombarded with light. He looked again to Bella's angelic but pained face first and then swung his eyes to his father, who he had not seen in more than a decade.

His father's once platinum blond hair had moved towards gray and there were many more lines etched upon his face. He looked tired, and Edward's chest grew tight thinking of how much his father had been through over the past few years. Carlisle looked into the face of his much loved and admired youngest son, expecting to see the same vague blankness reflected back from Edward's eyes. Carlisle damn near fell of his stool as he looked into the obviously alert, bright green eyes of his son.

"Son, can you….can you see me?" Carlisle asked as he pulled a pen light from his shirt pocket.

"Isn't it amazing?" Edward said.

Carlisle asked Edward to follow the path of the light as he moved it back and forth, amazed that Edward's eyes mimicked the path exactly. His hand was still caressing the girl's throat, and Carlisle wondered what kind of magic the girl possessed. Tears filled his eyes as he looked at his son and realized that, at least for the moment, he was really looking at his son.

"Can you get Alice in here? You don't mind, do you Bella?" Edward asked as he all but vibrated in the chair.

"No Edward, it is fine. You do whatever you need to do." Bella answered, her breaths still coming in pants as she tried not to over exert her ribcage.

Carlisle slowly made his way out to the waiting room to try and find his daughter, unable to stop from shaking his head in wonder. Edward took the time to document his surroundings. When he saw a mirror attached to the far wall, his eyes grew wide.

"Bella, do you think you could come over to the mirror with me? I have not seen myself since I was a boy." He asked quietly, sounding embarrassed that he would be so vain.

Bella slowly stood, careful not to jostle herself or Edward as they walked over towards the mirror. Bella made sure to stay out of the reflective glass, not wanting to ruin Edward's experience by having to see her in the mirror as well. Edward gasped as he looked upon the face of a man. His last memories of himself were of him in a dress shirt and tie, his unmanageable hair pointing in every direction as he stood waiting for his piano recital to start. Before him was a man with a strong wide, unshaven jaw. His hair was still pointing in all directions, but with his new powerful bone structure, instead of it looking messy, it looked rugged. His eyes strayed to the reflection of the girl standing next to him.

He had seen his fair share of girls and women before he lost his sight, but this girl trumped them all. Her hair was long and messy, tied back from her face in a tail that reached half way down her back. Her skin was porcelain smooth and softly glowing. Mocha brown eyes gazed wildly back at him through the mirror and she blushed beautifully as she realized he was looking at her. Her body was full with curves and hollows everywhere it should. He was glad to see that she was not stick thin like most of the models he remembered seeing in his older brother's stash of dirty magazines.

He was pulled from his perusal of Bella by the reemergence of his father, pulling behind him a pink headed, rainbow covered munchkin. As her face peered around his father, he quickly realized that he was looking at his twin sister Alice.

"Oh my God! Oh my God, Edward, can you see me?" She screeched incredulously.

He shook his head exaggeratedly as he reached his free, but injured arm out to his sister. She fit perfectly against him and as she buried her face in his side, she burst into tears.

"What have you done to yourself? You are hiding behind all of these colors and not letting yourself show through." He whispered in her ear. Her cries escalated as she absorbed his words and realized that with just one look, he had nailed down exactly why she dressed the way she did.

"I'm sorry Edward." She breathed between sobbing breaths. Bella tucked her chin to her chest, embarrassed to be witnessing such an emotional moment between siblings. It was obvious to her how close Edward and Alice were, and it made her chest hurt to realize that no one care about her that way.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You just need to be who you are." He responded as he reached up and wiped her tears from her cheek. His grimace of pain did not go unnoticed by his father and Carlisle was quick to insist that Edward get his hand checked out.

"I am sure the young lady would like to find out what is going on with her as well." Carlisle said as Edward and Alice's attention was drawn to Bella's huddled figure.

"Yes, of course, please forgive me Bella." Edward said reluctantly as he realized he would have to release his hold on her. His hand slid slowly from her skin and his eyes clouded over as his sight was taken from him.

"I'm sorry Edward." Bella whispered as she reached out and wrapped her hand around his wrist, making sure to steer clear of his hand. He blinked as his vision returned and he smiled gratefully at her. Bella's cheeks burnt red as she realized how long it had been since anyone had graced her with a smile. Her father barely spared her a glance and she spent all of her free time attached to her laptop as she searched for a job. There was no one in her life to appreciate her.

"Well Bella, if you want to come with me, we will get you checked out." Carlisle said, anxious to get Dr. Gerandy in here to take a look at Edward's hand. He knew his son had not yet considered what would happen if he was unable to play his piano.

Bella released Edward's arm, turning quickly so she would not have to see his expression fall as he was thrust back into darkness. She wanted nothing more than to be able to get checked out and return home so she could resume her boring life. A large figure suddenly blocked the doorway, nearly colliding with Bella in his rush to enter the room. Bella tipped her head up to look at the giant man in her path. She was surprised to find that it was Emmett Cullen. Of course, she realized, if Dr. Cullen was Edward's father than Emmett was surely his brother. She wondered if she had gone to school with Alice as well, but realized that she had not paid attention to anyone who was not ridiculing her. Alice Cullen did not seem the type to make fun of others.

Emmett barely spared her a glance as his eyes zeroed in on his brother and sister, still entwined in an embrace.

"Is it true?" He whispered, never tearing his gaze from his siblings.

"It seems that by some miracle, Edward is able to see." Carlisle responded, as he gently wrapped his arm around Bella's shoulder, intent on getting her to the x-ray suite so she could get examined.

"Wait Dad, let Edward see Emmett." Alice chirped as she extricated herself from Edward's arms and lunged for Bella. Carlisle released the girl reluctantly, hating that she was being used only as a means to an end. She was still flushed red, most likely embarrassed. Alice pulled her back to Edward and thrust Bella into Edward's arms. But Edward was unprepared for Bella and she rammed against him hard, pulling a pained cry from her lips. Tears burned in her eyes as she pushed herself from Edward's chest and quickly grabbed his wrist.

As much as Edward wanted to see his brother, his first concerns were of Bella. He looked down, seeing only the top of her head, but was able to make out the rivers of moisture that were trailing down her pink hued cheeks.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered against the softness of her hair. She gently nodded and sniffled quietly. Reassured that Bella was ok, he looked up.. and up.. and up into the face of his older brother.

"Emmett, you are huge!" He exclaimed, completely shocked at the size of his brother. When he had last seen him, Emmett had been a gangly pre-teen. Now Emmett had grown into a monster of a man. His shoulders were broad and thickly muscled under his crisp dress shirt. His tie was loosened around his solid neck and Edward was surprised to see his clear blue eyes rimmed red with unshed tears.

"Edward, man is it good to see you." Emmett said, his voice cracking with emotion. The men embraced as carefully as they could with Bella in the way.

"Ok now, I really need to get Bella to x-ray and Dr. Gerandy will be here in a moment to take a look at your hand Edward." Carlisle said, after clearing his throat of the lump of emotions lodged there.

Bella released Edward's hand and walked quickly from the room, only breathing again when she was safely in the hallway. She looked into the tired face of Dr. Cullen, still not believing that the past few hours had really happened.

"I'm not sure what is happening here Bella, but I want you to know I refuse to let my family take advantage of you." Dr. Cullen said, his voice serious.

Bella had no idea what he meant. She was sure that once she was check out, she would return to her infinitely boring and unfulfilling life. She had not thought about the fact that Edward would want to be around her as much as possible so he would be able to see the world through his own eyes. She was not used to being needed, she only wished she was needed for herself and not for what she could do for him.

**A/N: You like? Or hate? Let me know!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: Hello all! I have to tell you I am amazed at the response to the story so far. I hope you all are enjoying it as much as I am. The next few chapters are going to get rough. You might need a tissue handy until we get to chapter 7, at least. **

**Big thanks to Jadalulu who gave me a great visual for what Bella looks like. Think something like:**

**http:/cdn(dot)buzznet(dot)com/media-cdn/jj1/headlines/2009/02/scarlett-johansson-hes-just-not-that-into-you(dot)jpg**

**Dalloway5906 is denying me Emmett peen, so I am making her cry. It is a win-win. **

**For those of you who are reading 'Silent Auction' I am a h00r and will NOT be posting the epilogue tomorrow because I am having a total block with the damn thing. Don't hate me too much.**

**Now – onto the drama!**

Bella was anxious as the nurse brought her into the x-ray suite. She was not a stranger to the procedure, having endured more bouts of radiation than she cared to admit over her 21 years. She had had more broken bones than she could count and she realized she was about to add another to that list, because she was sure that her rib was fractured.

She could not get her mind off of the man who was still sitting in the trauma room. What could be causing this to happen between them? She knew what her touch did to him, but did he know how she felt when his skin was against hers? The tingling energy that radiated from the place where he touched her was unlike anything she had felt before. She wanted nothing more than to be able to hold onto that feeling forever. She had never felt so alive, so connected to someone. She feared that Dr. Cullen would want to keep them apart so Edward would not abuse the magical gift she possessed, but she was greedy enough to allow Edward to be near her, if only so she could feel that power, to feel something for once.

The hum of the x-ray machine brought her out of her daydream of lying with Edward in a field of wildflowers as his hand caressed her throat so he would be able to appreciate the view as well. She would never feel self-conscious when he would turn his blazing green eyes to her, for he knew she was his savior and she knew he truly wanted her. She quickly pushed the heavy protective apron off of her abdomen and struggled to sit up. The nurse was quick to come over and assist her and then motioned her back towards the trauma room.

Bella hesitated outside of the room, hearing hushed voices inside. She did not want to get caught eavesdropping again, but wanted any insight the Cullens had as to why she and Edward had this connection. She was ready to enter the room when she heard a hauntingly familiar voice from inside.

"Well I don't care what kind of voodoo powers she has, I refuse to be around that cow. She is a waste of space." Rosalie Hale-Cullen sneered.

Bella's breath was trapped in her chest as she waited for someone's response. She was surprised when she heard Emmett's voice.

"Rosie, somehow she is allowing Edward to see. Do you understand what that means? I have no idea what is happening, but I for one am not going to push her away and force Edward back into a lifetime of darkness. She is harmless. What did she ever do to you?" He questioned, speaking as if he were talking to a child.

"What did she do to me? She is alive, that is what she is doing to me. I have to look at her disgusting body all the time. I had hoped that after high school she would have just done the world a favor and killed herself." Rose ranted.

An outraged gasp behind her had Bella spinning around. She quickly lost her balance and grabbed onto the closest thing she could find, which happened to be Edward's strong forearm. Without warning, Edward was bombarded with bright light and Bella's face swam into focus. He could not help but notice her bright red cheeks and the stream of tears that ran down her face. He had heard what his sister-in-law had said, and could not for the life of him understand what she had against the beautiful, harmless girl in front of him. As much as he wanted to be able to see, he knew he would not be able to allow Bella to be subjected to Rosalie's harsh words constantly.

"Don't cry Bella, she is not worth your tears." He whispered as he started to reach his hand towards her cheek, anxious to feel the silk of her skin under his fingertips. A sobbing cry behind them pulled his attention away from Bella as he looked down the hall and into the surprised face of his mother.

Esme Cullen had not seen the bright green eyes of her son in years as he chose to hide behind his dark glasses most of the time. But as she looked down the hall at her son standing very close to a young girl, the time seemed to evaporate. She rushed forward and tried to embrace her son, but the awkward grasp the girl had on Edward made it difficult for her to wrap her arms around him. She glared down at Bella, and of course Bella folded into herself because she was used to people looking at her with such disdain. Bella quickly released the death grip she had on Edward's arm and rushed down the hallway, ignoring Edward's pleading calls.

Edward looked blankly down into where he assumed his mother's face was. Esme was confused because she was certain her son had been able to see just moments earlier. It took a monumental effort for Edward not to push his mother away and fumble blindly down the hall in search of Bella, but he understood that his mother did not know what was happening between himself and Bella. Hell, if he really thought about it, he was not even sure what was happening between him and Bella. Along with the miracle of returning his sight, every time he touched her his skin lit up with excitement. He had never felt more alive as he did when his skin was connected with hers.

Carlisle thankfully chose that moment to bring over Edward's test results, and Esme was worried when she saw his expression. He escorted them back into the exam room and guided Edward to a chair.

"Dr. Gerandy has given me the results from the x-ray and his diagnosis. Edward, I need you to prepare yourself. You have two fractured metacarpals in your hand. He wants to place you in a cast for at least a month. After that he will reevaluate you and you might be able to move into a soft splint after that."

Everyone in the room was holding their breath, waiting for the explosion they knew was coming. If Edward could not play the piano, he had nothing. They had dealt with him when he had broken his finger after tripping over one of Emmett's carelessly discarded shoes. He was in a splint for three weeks and they nearly had to have him hospitalized after he fell into such a deep depression. The piano was his life and without it he was miserable.

Edward surprised everyone when he simply nodded his head and asked when they were going to put the cast on. Carlisle was speechless as he slowly left the room to find Dr. Gerandy. Esme moved over to Edward and discreetly felt his forehead for a fever, unable to understand how he was dealing with this news so well. Edward was devastated that he would not be able to play the piano for an extended period of time, but what his family did not understand was that there was suddenly something more important in his life than the piano, Bella.

While Edward was waiting for his cast, Bella was trying to find a way out of the emergency room. She had been told her x-rays were done and she would be able to get the results soon. She sat in the uncomfortable waiting room chair as she waited for someone to tell her that yes, she had indeed broken a rib. She was surprised when she saw her father enter through the sliding doors. He searched the waiting room until his eyes landed on her. He slowly walked over, not a stranger to seeing his only child in the emergency room. He kept waiting for her to get over her awkward phase, but it seemed like it might be permanent.

"What is the verdict kid?" He asked as he lowered himself down into the chair across from her. He offered her no physical comfort because the Swans were not known for their shows of affection.

"I'm sure it is a broken rib Charlie, nothing important enough to bring you down here. How did you find out?" Bella questioned, embarrassed that her father had come all the way down to the hospital.

"You know this town, everyone knows everyone. One of the nurses is married to one of my deputies. He hailed me on the radio and told me you were in here after taking down some blind man. What happened?" He asked.

Bella flushed a brilliant color red as she realized what people were saying. The fat girl took out a blind man, awesome. No wonder Rosalie was so upset with her if that was what she heard happened.

"I tripped at the track and unfortunately took him down with me." Bella responded quietly as Dr. Cullen emerged from behind the set of double doors. Charlie quickly stood up, realizing that there was only one blind man in this town, and it was the good doctor's son.

"I'm so sorry Dr. Cullen. Did Bella hurt your boy badly?" Charlie questioned as he extended his hand towards Carlisle.

Bella tucked her chin to her chest and bit her lip to try and keep her embarrassed tears at bay. Even her father thought it was her fault. It was an accident, she had not meant to hurt Edward. Dr. Cullen shook Charlie's proffered hand as he noticed Bella's embarrassment and was quick to reassure Charlie that other than a few broken bones in his hand, Edward would be fine. He held up Bella's chart, which by now was as thick as an encyclopedia.

"Your young lady here has a fracture rib." He said as he held up Bella's x-ray, clearly showing the small jagged line on one of her ribs.

"What did you fall on Bells?" Charlie asked.

"Edward." Bella responded quietly.

"Wow, that boy was lucky you only broke his hand." Charlie laughed and Bella was unable to keep all of her tears inside this time. She quickly excused herself and headed for the ladies room before her father could see how much his casual words had hurt her, not that he would care.

Bella was not looking where she was going as she pushed her way into the bathroom, intent on locking herself in a stall until she had her emotions under control. By now it was well after her usual bedtime and she was exhausted. When she collided with a warm body and fell back onto the floor, she was barely able to keep her cry of pain quiet. She looked up through her tears at the hostile face of Rosalie Cullen.

"Jesus Christ cow, don't you think you have hurt enough people today?" Rose yelled as she purposefully smashed the heel of her shoe onto Bella's hand. Tears spilled freely from Bella's eyes as she looked up into the beautiful face of her greatest tormentor. She had spent her entire college career trying to learn why people like Rosalie treated others the way she did. In her mind she knew that Rose treated others so badly because she was so insecure herself. But when she was on the receiving end of one of Rose's tirades, it did not matter that Rose was miserable on the inside, all that mattered was the pain Bella was feeling.

"I'm sorry." Bella whispered as she cradled her hand to her chest, much like Edward had done.

"Yes, I know. You are always sorry. You are such a waste of space. Do you know there are innocent lives lost every day while your sorry ass gets to live?" Rose yelled and Bella noticed a lone tear trailing down Rose's cheek. Words spilled from her mouth before she could stop them.

"I'm sorry, have you lost someone?" Bella whispered. Rose brought her hand down across Bella's cheek so hard her head slammed back against the wall.

"How dare you!" Rose screamed as more tears joined the first. She brought her hand back for another strike when the door suddenly swung open and the doorway was filled with Emmett's powerful form. He had heard the commotion from all the way in Edward's room. He recognized Rosalie's outraged voice and worried who she was taking her wrath out on. He was unprepared for the sight of his usually kindhearted wife standing over the crouched form of Bella. The girl had her hand pressed against her cheek, but he was able to see the bright red handprint that marked her pale skin. Emmett was outraged that his wife would treat someone like this. He sidestepped Bella and grabbed Rose by the wrist, dragging her out of the bathroom and into the hall. He was shocked when she threw herself into his arms and started sobbing hysterically. The last year had been very difficult with Rose's ever changing mood swings. She would disappear for hours on end, telling Emmett she was going to the spa. He would notice that instead of coming back looking refreshed, she came home with dark circles under her eyes and would spend the next few days in bed. He tried to support her the best that he could, but he had no idea what was going on with his once vivacious and happy wife.

Esme came into the hallway to see what all the noise was about and Emmett motioned her to the bathroom as he escorted Rose outside, intent on getting her home and into bed. Esme carefully pushed open the bathroom door and looked upon the young girl who was sitting on the floor. She had one hand wrapped around her waist and one pressed against her cheek as she sobbed violently.

Bella did not acknowledge the person who entered the room, silently hoping it was Rose coming back to put her out of her misery. She wondered if it were not better for everyone involved if she just got it over with and killed herself already. She knew she was a giant disappointment to her mother and her father barely put up with her. She had no friends or acquaintances to miss her and Rose was right, she was just a waste of space. Her hand and face hurt and that pain in her ribs was excruciating as she continued to sob. She jolted when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up through watery eyes into Edward's mother's concerned face. Esme had no idea what had happened between Rose and the girl, but she could see that the girl needed some comfort. Her maternal instincts kick in as she lowered herself to the dirty floor next to the girl and wrapped her arms around her shoulders.

It had been years since someone has hugged Bella, and she melted into Esme's arms, not caring that the motion exacerbated the pain in her side. Esme rubbed her hand up and down Bella's back as she gently rocked them from side to side. If she had not been so close to her, she would never have heard the words Bella was saying over and over.

"Please love me. Someone please love me."

**A/N: I know, I know. See you next week.**

**Are you reading:**

**Bittersweet by Dalloway5906**

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6058012/1/**

**and **

**Through the Flames by SparklingTwilight**

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5883476/1/**

**You should be!  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: Who rocks? You rock my readers! I can't believe how many of you have taken the time to write a review and let me know what you are thinking. I am floored by how many of you have experiences similar to our dear Bella. Please, keep the reviews coming, I cherish each and every one.**

**Dalloway5906 now officially has a NJ address. I don't care if you are 15 minutes from the beach, you are like 120 minutes away from me! She went over this with a fine tooth comb and fixed all my booboos. She is the cookies to my cream. If you don't have her 'Bittersweet' on alert – DO IT! You are going to want to read her next chapter – trust me! **

**Possible tissue warning, not too bad here. Next chapter is brutal… but very short. If you are all nice and review I will post both chapter 5 and 6 next week. You should know I am not above bribery for reviews!**

Edward sat alone in the trauma room, waiting for his cast to set. He had surprised everyone by asking for a specific color cast, wanting to be able to see the bright blue color when he next touched Bella. His thoughts were all different now that he was able to look forward to seeing things. He hoped that Bella would be able to be generous with her time so he could discover what his world looked like.

He was surprised that no one had come back into the room yet. His father had gone to tell Bella about her broken rib and what her recovery would entail. He was thankful that was the extent of her injuries. It would take some time for the bone to heal, but it should not hamper her day to day life. Rosalie had gone out to powder her nose and Emmett had followed soon after, saying something about hearing raised voices. His mother had gone out to check on a commotion in the hallway, but she was still missing. He was just getting ready to search for his family when he heard the light footsteps of his sister Alice.

"Where had you disappeared to?" He questioned as she came over and examined his new cast.

"When can I sign it?" She deflected his question, not quite ready to share where she had been hiding. She had been overcome with emotions after really seeing her brother for the first time in years. She was disappointed that he had seen through her façade and wanted to escape his all knowing eyes. She found herself in the chapel, a place she had never entered. She could not accept that a righteous and just God would take away her brother's dreams like He had. Edward insisted that he was fine, that God never closed a door without opening a window, but Alice doubted that. She knew her twin better than he knew himself and she could hear him crying when he thought he was alone. Now her brother had been given a miracle in the form of a shy, insecure young girl. Alice found herself relieved that a new window had been opened for Edward, but worried what door would close because of it.

As she entered the chapel, she was filled with a sense of dread. Was it one of her doors that would close in order to insure Edward's miracle? Was she willing to sacrifice anything for her brother's happiness? For years she had prayed to anyone who would listen for her brother's sight to be restored, but was she ready to face the consequences of those prayers? As she looked around the empty sanctuary, she realized that yes, she was willing to do anything so her brother could see again, however that might happen. She slowly sat down in one of the pews, bowing her head to thank whoever it was that caused Edward's miracle. A sudden stream of light interrupted her thoughts as the chapel door opened and then closed again. Heavy footsteps came sauntering down the aisle as someone plopped down in the pew behind her. She resisted the urge to turn around, simply choosing to bow her head and resume her prayers. A gruffly cleared throat startled her and she turned around, prepared to berate the individual for disturbing her.

She was surprised by how close the stranger was. He was leaning forward, his arms crossed against the back of her seat. She could only stare as he looked back at her with wide blue eyes, impossibly long lashes fluttering against his cheeks as he blinked at her.

"Hello darlin'. Why so sad, did someone pee in your cornflakes?" He said, in an obviously overdone Texas accent.

Alice felt everything within her flutter at his carefree words as she watched him brush the tangles of wavy blond hair off of his forehead. What was happening to her? Her insides her turning to jello just like the characters in the smutty romance novels Rose was always trying to get her to read. She was trying to pull herself together when the man extended his hand to her.

"My name is Jasper Whitlock ma'am."

She mutely placed her hand in his and both of their eyes flew open wide at the contact. Her mouth dropped open as his spread into a broad, cocky smile.

"I have been waiting forever for you." He breathed as he caressed the back of her hand with his thumb.

"I'm Alice." She whispered.

"Well Alice, we have some catching up to do. Would you care to accompany me to the cafeteria so I can buy you some terrible coffee?" He asked, flashing her a crooked grin. She nodded and slowly stood, painfully aware that she was still wearing the hideous outfit she had put on to take Edward to the track. His eyes documented every inch of her as she made her way out of the pew. He stood nearly a foot taller than her and she had to tip her head back to maintain eye contact.

"You don't have to wear that stuff anymore you know." He whispered, reaching out to tuck a wayward strand of her hair behind her ear.

"I know." She breathed.

"Things will be different now." He said as he placed her hand over his arm and started down the aisle, as if they were newlyweds.

"I know. I can't wait." She replied.

Jasper and Alice spent the rest of their time together talking as they sat huddled together in the hospital cafeteria, their untouched cups of horrible coffee sitting between them. There was always a part of them touching, whether it was the casual brush of thigh against thigh or the possessive placement of his hand on her lower back. She tried to memorize the rugged slash of his cheekbones and the way he raised his right eyebrow when he thought she was making something up. His hair was a funny color, stuck between blond and brown and it brushed against his jaw line as he spoke. His long neck disappeared into a comfortable looking fitted t-shirt, the faded gray making his blue eyes seem fathomless. He wore perfectly broken-in jeans, the seams wanting to answer her prayers and split whenever his lean muscles pressed against them. She found herself flustered when she realized she had spent several minutes staring at the blatant masculinity of his strong, powerful feet which were showcased in worn Birkenstocks.

She suddenly realized how long she had been away and apologized, rising from the table. He got up with her and walked her back to the emergency room. She looked up at him, wondering when she would see him next. He started speaking as if reading her mind.

"I'm in room 407. Come up anytime." He whispered before he lightly grazed her lips with his own. Her heart clenched painfully in her chest as she watched him walk away. Edward was surprised with how quiet his usually effervescent sister was, but figured she was tired. He held still while she decorated his cast and then sat patiently with her while they waited for their parents to return with Edward's discharge instructions. He was startled when Alice's quiet voice broke the silence.

"Hey Edward, how well do you know the hospital?" She asked.

"I guess I know it pretty well. Why?" He questioned.

"Do you know where room 407 would be?" She said.

"You mean besides it being on the fourth floor. I am pretty sure that room is in the cancer wing." He said, shaking his head at his attempt at a joke. His sister gasped and he whipped his head in her direction, wishing Bella was here so he could see what was wrong with his sister. He could barely make out her quiet words.

"Oh no… Jasper is my door." She said softly, as silent tears trailed down her face. Thankfully Edward's parents chose that moment to come back into the room. They both questioned Alice's tears, but she passed them off as exhaustion and excitement. Esme understood how her daughter felt, more than ready to get home and release some tears of her own.

After having held Bella while she cried herself out, Esme had helped her to her feet. She was incensed to find a perfect handprint on Bella's cheek and knew from Emmett's earlier reaction, how it got there. Her daughter-in-law would be hearing about this. Bella apologized profusely as Esme escorted her out to where her father was waiting. Esme accepted Charlie's apology for Bella's behavior and she could finally understand why a beautiful girl like Bella would be aching for someone to love her. It was obvious that Chief Swan thought of the girl more as an obligation than someone to love.

Carlisle held tight to Esme's arm as they had watched the chief walk out of the emergency room with Bella trailing behind him.

"Do I want to know how she got that mark on her cheek?" He had whispered in her ear as they made their way back into Edward's room. She shook her head with a sigh and put on a brave face before entering her son's room. She had quickly noticed that Alice was acting strangely and was surprised to see tears streaming down her face. When asked what was wrong she pleaded exhaustion and Esme chose to let that lie slide. She knew Alice would come and talk to her when she was ready.

As they prepared to leave, Edward whipped his head around.

"Did Bella already leave?" He asked frantically. In Esme's rush to get the poor girl home, they had forgotten all about having her say goodbye to Edward. The door suddenly swung open and hit the wall behind it as Bella stood in the doorway. Alice huffed as she saw Bella's cheek and Esme caught her eye, making sure her daughter did not say anything.

"I'm so sorry Edward. I was halfway home before I realized I did not say goodbye." Bella said quietly as she looked down at the blue cast that now encased his hand. She was surprised to find tears spring into her eyes, thinking for sure she had been cried out by now.

"Don't worry Bella, I would have tracked you down somehow." He replied, as he raised his good hand towards her. She rushed forward and linked their fingers together, sighing quietly at the calming electric hum that immersed her as soon as their skin touched. He blinked slowly, allowing himself to become desensitized to the light. He first glanced into her face, reacquainting himself with her beauty. He was speechless as he looked at her tear streaked, bruised face. He knew he would have noticed if she had a hand-shaped bruise earlier.

He reached his hand up to caress the mark and ended up bashing her in the face with his unwieldy cast instead.

"Oh shit Bella. I am so sorry." He cried, as he touched her again with just the tips of his exposed fingers. She laughed quietly and he was relieved that he had not hurt her further.

"What happened?" He asked quietly, mindful of his parents and sister who were hovering nearby. Two of the onlookers were wondering the same thing. Esme knew Bella would never expose Rosalie for what she had done, but was holding her breath to see what excuse Bella came up with.

"I walked into a door?" She suggested cautiously.

"Are you asking me or telling me?" Edward replied, a soft smile gracing his full lips as he realized he was never going to get the truth from her.

"Um, telling you?" She questioned, laughing quietly.

"Fine, you can keep your secrets for now." He acquiesced as he looked away from her and toward his family.

"Where did Emmett and Rose go?" He asked and noticed that Bella cringed when he said his sister-in-law's name. He would have to make sure to have a few words with Rose the next time he saw her. The family was letting her get away with too much the past few months.

"Rose was exhausted, so Emmett took her home." Esme supplied, stepping forward to place a calming hand on Bella's shoulder as she brushed the wild hair off of Edward's forehead. Bella looked on with envy at the relaxed way Esme was with her son. She wished to one day have a child of her own so she could shower them with the kind of love she never knew herself. Then she thought about the mechanics of how babies were born and quickly realized she may end up dying a childless virgin.

Edward gently squeezed her hand, bringing her back to the present.

"You should be getting home, it is late and I bet you have to work tomorrow." He supplied, hoping he could finagle her work schedule out of her so he could figure out when he could spend some more time with her.

"Actually I am not working right now. I just finished my degree and have not been able to find a job in my field yet." She said, unknowingly falling right into Edward's trap.

"Oh well that means you will have plenty of time to spend with Edward." Esme suggested and Edward wanted to kiss his mother's feet.

"I am sure we don't want to overwhelm poor Bella. She needs to find a job and how can she do that if she is spending all of her free time with Edward." Carlisle said, trying to keep his worst fears from becoming reality. He did not want his family to end up using Bella simply as a means to an end.

"Well of course not silly. We want Bella to be able to continue living her own life, and when she can find some time, she can spend it with Edward. Does that sound ok with you Bella?" Esme suggested.

Bella wanted nothing more than to suggest that she move in with the Cullens and they adopt her, but she knew that would sound really weird, so she simply nodded and recited her cell phone number to Alice who quickly put it in her iPhone.

Edward looked once more at his parents and twin sister before gazing into the deep brown eyes of his newly found savior. Esme grabbed Carlisle by the arm and all but dragged him from the room, with Alice following not far behind. They wanted to give Edward and Bella some privacy.

Bella stared into the endless depths of Edward's green eyes, praying she would find something other than simply gratefulness there. She wanted to see a real emotion, not just the usual gratitude Charlie gave her when she set his dinner down in front of him or changed his sheets. She was not disappointed as he looked back at her with adoration. He gently grazed her cheek with the tips of his injured fingers.

"I need you to tell me what happened." He breathed.

"I don't want to." She whispered.

"Why not."

"Because you will think poorly of me."

"I don't think that could every happen."

"I ran into Rosalie."

"Did you hurt her?"

"No."

"Did she hurt you?"

Bella remained silent, which gave Edward his answer.

"Did she hit you?"

"Yes, but I deserved it." She said quickly.

"How could you have possibly done anything to deserve being hit?"

"I… don't know." She floundered as she realized she actually had no idea what she had done or said to Rosalie to cause her to smack her.

Edward gazed into her eyes, slowly realizing what kind of person he was dealing with. Bella was a punching bag. She was willing to take everything lying down as to not rock the boat. He hated that this kind, beautiful girl was suffering through life, doubting her self-worth just because someone told her she was not good enough. Well he was going to bring a stop to that.

"Bella, you have no idea what it means to me that you are willing to give up your time to help me. I don't know why you are so special, but I will do everything I can to treat you the way you deserve." Edward said vehemently.

Bella wanted nothing more than to trust him, but she had heard similar words from her mother and father throughout her entire life. Why would this man be any different?

"I'll call you tomorrow?" Edward questioned softly, hesitant to remove his hands from her silky flesh, not only because he dreaded his return to darkness, but also because he was becoming increasingly addicted to the electric hum that surged through him when he touched her. Could it be that it had been so long since he had touched a woman who was not related to him? Would any woman's touch affect him the same way?

Unknown to Edward, Bella's thoughts were traveling along the same vein. Was it possible that the simple touch of any man's flesh upon hers would cause her bones to vibrate inside her skin or was it something special between her and Edward? She wished she knew, but for now she was hesitant to give up these feelings. She knew it would end eventually, but she was willing to deal with the emptiness when that happened. For now she would immerse herself in Edward Cullen and damn the consequences.

**A/N: Are you reading 'Grand Jete' by stella luna sky? It is awesome!**

**Remember what I said about reviews? I love them, and you, even if you don't review ;-)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: So this chapter is a rough one, you might need a tissue. I will be posting chapter 6 tomorrow because these are shorter chapters than I usually write and I wanted you to get both Alice and Rose's stories. Don't expect double chapters often. I would update more often, but I just sent chapter 10 to Dalloway5906 yesterday, so I am not that ahead. If I had more in the bank I would post more often, but that is not that case.**

**Thank you so much to all of you who have put this on alert/favorite and those of you who take the time to review. I am so fail at replying to your reviews, but I am thrilled to have my inbox full of your kind thoughts and words. **

**Dalloway5906 was the first to hear my earth shattering news this week. I'll share with you all eventually once the shock has worn off. She was the first person I wanted to tell, and that shows you how important she is to me. You can thank her for the error free chapter below. Even though she is cock blocking me some Emmett right now – you should go read her 'Bittersweet.' She just snuck in a nice tart lemon!**

**To any reader of 'Silent Auction' – yeah, I am totally an asshole for not posting the epi yet. It is still not written and I am stuck. I am hoping it will come to me soon, but for now please enjoy this.**

**Grab your tissues. See you tomorrow for chapter 6.  
**

As Rosalie Cullen's eyes fluttered open in the early morning hours, she knew. She had suspected it was going to happen all day. It was why she had been so quick to take her anger out on Bella Swan when she had been so sincere with her sympathy. Rose quietly climbed out of bed, even though it would have taken a bulldozer to wake up Emmett. She tiptoed down the hall and into the bathroom, her heart racing as anxiety made her palms damp. She turned on the light and looked down at the bright red trail of blood that raced down her legs. She was so sure that this time it would work. She had been nearly eight weeks this time, which was the longest she had gone. After her first miscarriage two years earlier, she had stopped telling Emmett when the little plus sign would show up on the tests. She had never seen her strong husband so devastated as he was when he walked into the emergency room after she had started bleeding while visiting with his mother. Esme insisted that she go to the hospital and have an ultrasound. When the doctor shook his head and apologized, Emmett broke down sobbing into her hair as he tried his best to console her through his pain.

Rose had suffered through six more miscarriages by herself since then. They kept trying month after month. Unbeknownst to Emmett, Rose had been seeing a specialist for almost a year, trying everything to get her body to sustain a pregnancy. It would have been easier if Rose had told the truth about her past history.

Rose was a beauty from birth. She had two younger brothers and she was the princess in the family. She got anything she wanted, and her mother doted on her. As Rose grew up, her mother's little suggestions grew into demands. Rose would have to fit into the clothes her mother bought, or go without. She thought her mother was joking, until she could not zip her jeans and her mother forced her to wear her brother's sweat shorts to school. She was so embarrassed, she made sure that it never happened again.

It is amazing what happens to the human body when it is denied food for long periods of time. Emmett thought he was a lucky man since his girlfriend was never on the rag, but little did he know that Rose's body was drying up. Who cares about having babies at 17? It is much more important to look good. Now in her mid 20's all Rose could think about was how wonderful it would be to have her belly swollen with a child of her own. If she had told her specialist about her battle with anorexia, they might have been able to help coax her body into supporting a child, but she was too ashamed to tell the truth.

Now as Rose watched the blood pool on the pristine white tile under her feet, all she could feel was rage. She hated the young girls who were getting pregnant with children they did not want, yet she could not. She hated seeing her husband's face light up when he helped to push a little one on the swings at the park, but watch as his smile slid off his face when he came home and saw their fully furnished nursery sitting empty. She smashed her fist against the hard granite surface of the vanity, her arm sweeping bottles and containers off the counter with her anger. She collapsed onto the floor, broken glass littered around her.

Emmett Cullen could sleep through almost anything. He did not hear his wife sneak into the bathroom. He did not hear her anguished scream. He did not even hear her perfume bottle collection go flying across the bathroom. What woke Emmet up was the near silent sobbing of his wife as she mourned another one of their children. She thought he was asleep when she would cry at night, muffling her tears into her pillow. She did not know that he lay awake next to her, aching to hold her, but unable to bring himself to discover the reason for her tears. Tonight though, he could not stop himself from traveling the short distance to the bathroom to see why she was crying. He was stunned when he saw her sitting on the bathroom floor, her delicate pink nightgown covered in broken crystal and blood that was oozing from cuts up and down her arms and legs. She did not seem to notice him when he came in the room. He quickly started the tub and pulled her into his arms as glass cut into his bare feet. She did not fight him as he lifted the gown over her head so he could place her gently in the tub. The water quickly turned pink and Emmett ran from the room to call his father.

Carlisle Cullen knew it was a bad sign when his phone rang at three in the morning. It had been years since he had been on-call overnight, and the sound of the phone this early was a rarity now. The second he heard his nearly hysterical oldest son and the words blood and Rosalie, he was jumping out of bed and scurrying to find his clothes. Esme had heard enough and was up and getting dressed as well. They encountered a sleepy Alice in the hall, who had awakened after hearing the phone. They told her only enough so that she would not worry as they raced into the garage. Emmett and Rosalie lived on the family estate, so the drive only took minutes. The second floor lights were ablaze as they raced up the front steps, using their key to unlock the door. They could hear Emmett's voice cooing to Rose as they climbed the stairs. Esme gasped as she looked into the bathroom. She watched her first born as he attempted to calm his wife. Rose was gently rocking in the water as she stared at the white tile walls. She did not acknowledge their presence, but Emmett was relieved when he noticed his parents standing in the doorway. He didn't seem to notice the tears that were filling his eyes, one occasionally escaping and running down his cheek. Esme suggested that the men wait outside while she tried to coax Rose into some clothes so Carlisle could check her out.

Esme gingerly stepped over the glass and blood as she made her way to the tub. She brushed Rose's hair off of her forehead and placed her hands on either side of her face. With a little encouragement, Rose turned her head to face her mother-in-law, and Esme's heart clenched as she saw the pain etched on the young girl's face.

"What is going on baby doll?" Esme whispered, using her nickname for Rose.

"They're gone. They are all gone." Rose breathed as a solitary tear trailed down her cheek.

"Who is gone?" Esme asked.

"Our babies. They are all gone and it is all my fault." Rose cried before throwing herself at Esme, red-tinged water splashing all over the floor.

Esme wondered how Emmett had kept something like this from her and Carlisle. Emmett was always one to wear his emotions on his sleeve, you could always tell when something was bothering him. She could not imagine that Rose had not told Emmett about what was going on with her.

"What?" Emmett's heartbreaking words came loud and clear through the partly-closed door. Rose either had not heard him or chose to ignore his words.

"I didn't want to tell him. It was so hard last year when I had my first miscarriage, I thought it would be better if I just kept it to myself until I got further along. I was almost there, this time it was eight weeks." Rose rambled, breaking into a watery smile as she mentioned her latest loss.

"How many have you had Rose?" Esme questioned quietly, almost afraid to hear the answer.

"Six." Rose whispered as Emmett, hearing her words, broke down in the hallway. Esme could hear Carlisle trying to console him as he pounded out his frustration on the walls.

"Let's get you cleaned up and then we can talk some more." Esme suggested as she grabbed a fluffy blue towel from the linen closet. She called out to the boys for them to get Rose a robe and some shoes. She also needed a broom and mop so she could clean up the bathroom.

"Please don't do that Esme. It is my mess, I'll clean it up." Rose said softly, ashamed that her sweet mother-in-law was willing to go so far to help take care of her. She wanted nothing more than to be able to give her a grandchild. Another round of tears started flowing as she realized that she was not only letting herself and Emmett down, but the rest of Emmett's family as well. They would want a grandchild and niece or nephew to spoil.

Esme quickly dried Rose off, thankful that the cuts on her arms and legs seemed to be superficial. If Rose had suffered through that many lost pregnancies, she must be a pro at knowing what was going on with her body, so she did not think a trip to the hospital would be necessary. She sat Rose down on the toilet and brushed her hair, gently pulling the comb through her long hair. Carlisle brought in a pile of clothes and some sneakers, quickly using a broom to sweep up most of the mess. Both women wondered where Emmett had gone, but neither wanted to know the answer.

After Rose was dressed, Carlisle looked over the cuts, making sure none of them needed suturing. He wanted to speak more to Rose about what kind of treatment she was undergoing, but realized that now was not the time. She needed to sleep. Esme sat with her as she buried her face in Emmett's pillow and cried herself to sleep. When she was sure Rose was sleeping soundly she joined her husband in the bathroom and helped him set the room to rights.

"Did Emmett know about this?" Esme whispered to her husband, her voice thick with unshed tears.

"No." Carlisle said softly as he loaded up a trash bag with the broken crystal.

"Where is he?" Esme questioned harshly, ashamed that her son had abandoned his wife in her time of need.

"Esme, he is just finding out about this. He needs some time to process this information." Carlisle responded, always the voice of reason.

Emmett was standing in the cool night air, his back against the hard stone of the house. His eyes were puffy from tears and he wanted nothing more than to go inside and curl up in his bed with Rose. But he was unable to bring himself to go back in the house. He was hurt, deeply hurt that he had had no idea what was going on with Rose all these months. He could tell something was wrong, but would never have guessed that it would be something like this. How could she keep this from him? He deserved to know. He knew that he did not handle her first miscarriage well. He had already started buying football jersey's for his little quarterback and when the doctor delivered that crushing blow, he was devastated. He tried to support Rose as well as he could, but he just kept imagining that little towheaded boy that was now lost forever.

Emmett heard his parent's car doors slam and the engine turn over. He was grateful that they had come and helped him. He knew he needed to go back inside and make sure that Rose was ok, but he could not do it. He slid down the wall and sat on the cold, hard ground. He buried his face in his hands and cried for all of his lost children.

**Yeah – I know. Review and tell me you hate me!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: Hello again – long time no see! Tissue warning again, but you should already be expecting this chapter to be rough. Really short, but that is why you got a bonus this weekend. Next week will be back to Bella and Edward.**

**WOW- you all really hate Rose. Like... hate her! I love it, means I am doing something right. Do you trust me that I can redeem her? I hope so.  
**

**Dalloway5906 owns my ass and makes sure I keep things real. Did you know they had temporary bright pink hair dye? Yeah me neither. Thanks Dally!**

Alice Cullen never went back to sleep after her parents left to go to her brother's house. She knew something was wrong when her father grabbed his medical bag and did not even notice he had his shirt buttoned wrong. She wanted to ask what was going on, but the anxious look on her mother's face made her second guess herself. She only hoped it was not something serious. Her sister-in-law had been distant in the past few months, not joining her on their usual 'spa days' and choosing to shop on-line instead of traveling with her to Seattle to hit up the stores. Alice suspected it had something to do with the constant pressure Rose was receiving from her mother, Lillian, about starting a family. Alice had been present for one of Lillian's surprise visits to Rose and Emmett's house, and was embarrassed for her sister-in-law. Tact was not in Lillian Hale's vocabulary.

"Well no wonder you can't give me grandchildren, you can barely take care of your house. Look at the dust everywhere. And Rose dear, are those sweat pants you are wearing? Emmett will take his business elsewhere if you are not going to keep up your appearance." She said, as she ran her finger over the nearly spotless surface of Rose's coffee table.

Alice wanted to take Lillian outside and beat some sense into her as she watched Rose's face crumble as she ran upstairs to change into something her mother would approve of. She knew it had been hard for Rose after her miscarriage last year, but had thought she handled it well. Alice had watched her sister-in-law take shit from her mother for years, ever since Emmett had started dating Rose in high school. The woman was overbearing and critical, poor Rose could do nothing right in her eyes. Alice had hoped that once Emmett and Rose were married, Lillian would keep her nose out of their lives, but she had been wrong. Not a month after the wedding, a huge box full of baby clothes arrived at the couple's house. Rose wanted nothing more than to be able to put the clothes to good use, but she had yet to get pregnant again. Alice watched as her once vivacious and happy sister-in-law fell deeper into despair. She had approached her brother on multiple occasions, but like the typical man he was, he said that nothing was wrong.

Taking a chance, Alice followed Rose one day when she was supposedly heading to the spa, and was surprised to see her enter a large medical building. Fearing the worst, Alice snuck behind Rose into the building and watched her enter a fertility specialist's office. How could Emmett not tell her that they were seeing a specialist? Her parent's late night trip to her brother's house made her nervous and regretful that she had never told her mother where Rose had been going when they thought she was at the spa.

Alice took this time alone at that early morning hour to think about her meeting with Jasper Whitlock. Just the thought of him made her heart beat faster and her palms sweat. How had she gone so long without knowing that she could feel this way? Her body instantly recognized him as her perfect mate. She wanted to go to him and ask him if he felt the same, but she was petrified as to what she would find when she entered the hospital. Edward told her he thought the room number Jasper had given her was in the cancer wing, and she had verified that information with her father. What did it mean that Jasper was in the section of the hospital designated for terminal cancer patients? Was he dying? Just the thought of that made bile rise in her throat and she dashed to the bathroom to empty the meager contents of her stomach. Sitting on the cold floor of the bathroom, she wondered if it was worth it to get close to Jasper, knowing that she might have a limited time with him. She decided that even if she only had a few days or weeks with him, she would regret it for the rest of her life if she did not spend every second she could with him.

Her decision made, she rushed into the shower, scrubbing hard to get the pink temporary color out of her normally black hair. She dug far into the back of her closet to find jeans that were not covered in rhinestones and embellishments and grabbed a plain white t-shirt and sneakers. She had never felt more like herself as she gazed at her reflection in the mirror. She left a note for her parents and tiptoed past her brother's room, surprised to hear silence on the other side of the door. Edward always had music playing, even when he was sleeping. She wondered if she should check on him, but realized he must have just crashed after having such an interesting and eventful night.

Alice slid into her beloved car, feeling completely relaxed as she made her way towards the hospital. She parked in the nearly empty lot and snuck quietly into the building, taking the back stairs up to the fourth floor. She found Jasper's room easily and debated knocking on the door until she heard a rasping cough from within. Her decision made, she slowly pushed the door open and the light from the hallway fell across the occupant of the bed. Had she not recognized the familiar warn Birkenstocks sitting alongside of the bed, she would have thought she had the wrong room.

Jasper sat up against the pillows, his face gaunt and lined with pain. His gray t-shirt was now black with sweat and his arms were pierced up and down with multiple IV's. He raised tired eyes toward her and scrambled towards the nightstand, furiously trying to reach something on the table. She moved forward quickly and took his hands in hers.

"Don't." She whispered, holding his trembling hands in hers.

"I don't want you to see me like this." He said before he broke into a coughing fit. She pulled him up against her as she rubbed his back, hating how she could feel the bumps of his spine through his skin. He was thinner than she remembered from this morning.

"Baby, please. Don't do this." He pleaded breathlessly as his coughing fit tapered off into a painful sounding wheeze.

"What are you afraid of?" Alice questioned as she helped him lay back against the pillows.

He took her face in his shaky hands and brought her forehead to his. She reached up and caressed his bald head, noticing his beautiful blond wig sitting on the nightstand.

"You are beautiful. I don't care about your hair. I don't care about anything. All I want is to be with you, the real you, for as long as I can." She whispered and a single tear slid down his face.

"Six months." He said in a quiet voice, and Alice was barely able to hold back her sobs.

"Ok, six months it is." She said as she gently leaned forward and buried her head in his neck and gave into her tears.

**Only reviews can save Jasper. No really…. I still might kill him. You get to decide.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: WOW! You guys amaze me! You hate Rose and will kill me if I let Jasper die of cancer. Ok, I got it! I have a deal for you…. If you can figure out how I will save Jasper, I will send you the next chapter early. I already know what I will be doing, but I would love to see your ideas as well!**

**What would you all do to have Rose redeem herself? Or should Emmett just leave her? I know what I have planned for them as well, but would love to see what you think. **

**Dalloway5906 helped me make sense of this chapter and I am super excited to be getting the next chapter of her 'Bittersweet' very soon. She has also informed me that I will be getting my Emmett peen very soon. I bought her an incredibly useless gift and I can't wait to see what she thinks of it. As soon as I get my ass to the post office it will be on its way to you Dally.**

**Oh – and don't get used to the length of this chapter. ;)  
**

Edward was lost. Completely and totally lost. He had no idea how he had thought he would be able to walk to Bella's house. He only knew that hours after adjourning to his bedroom, he was still wide awake thinking about her. He had laid on his bed, his casted hand resting on his chest, and tried to think about anything but her. It was hopeless though, as every time he relinquished his mind to his thoughts, her face popped into his brain. How could someone become such an integral part of his life so quickly?

Finally giving up on the prospect of sleep, he rolled out of bed and reached towards his nightstand to find his phone. He had the lights out, as always for he had no need for them, and his hand fell upon his phone with ease. He accessed his voice command program and was quickly able to open his GPS. Using his Google application, he located the Swan's address and inputted it into the GPS program, which gave him door to door directions. He figured he could cover the three mile distance with ease, and placed his phone gently on the bed so he could get dressed.

Edward had become familiar with the different textures of his clothing over the years, and was able to find a pair of running pants and a hooded sweatshirt easily. He chose to forgo his dark glasses, not needing any other reason to attract attention. Obviously, a man walking along the road at night wearing sun glasses would catch anyone's attention. He did fold his cane up and place it in his canvas bag, along with a bottle of water and his wallet, before slinging it over his shoulder. He ran his hands haphazardly through his hair, but realized that it was a lost cause. He had no idea, but Alice made sure that his hair was the perfect style for a blind man. No matter what he did to it, it always looked fashionably messy.

Edward listened at his door for any signs that his family was up and about, but hearing nothing, he opened his door and eased down the stairs. He always made a point to count his steps, and after years of walking the same path from his room to the front door, he was able to make his way to the door without an issue. He silently opened the door and walked out onto the porch. Walking carefully down the stairs, he waited until he was far enough away from the house to open his GPS program, feeling optimistic that he would be able to make it to Bella's house when the robotic voice prompted that he turn left after traveling 1000 feet. What Edward had not taken into consideration was that while the driveway was paved and clear of obstacles, the shoulder of the road was littered with tree branches and gullies. The first time he tripped, he popped right back up. The second and third time, he was slower to return to his feet. When he once again found himself sprawled out on his belly amongst the brambles at the side of the road, he regretted ever having left his bed. He wanted nothing more than to be able to find Bella, but at this rate it would be morning before he would get there.

Edward had no way of knowing that two miles away, Bella Swan was trying to avoid the squeaky step on her father's staircase so she could make it to her truck without waking him up. She had tossed and turned all night, trying to find a comfortable position. Her ribs were killing her but she adamantly refused to take the prescription pain killer that Dr. Cullen had given her. She needed her mind to stay clear so she could focus on how to deal with Edward Cullen. He completely confused her. His touch sent lightning shooting through her veins and she had not even started thinking about the amazing ability she had to restore his sight through her touch. Bella wanted nothing more than to spend every free second she had with Edward, if only so she could see the way his face would light up as he looked around him. It reminded her of how a child looks at things, as if they had never seen them before, or ever would again.

Bella had finally made it through the front door, walking as quickly as she could to the rusted heap she called a truck. Her truck had been a graduation present from her father and although she dreaded the attention she got when it rumbled down the street, she loved it. The paint had at one time been a vibrant red, but like most things that start out shiny and new, it was now dull and chipping, flakes of rust falling to the ground whenever the door slammed shut. The hinges protested when she opened the door but Bella slid onto the bench seat quickly before easing the door shut again. Bella sat with her key in the ignition, wondering how she would be able to start her monstrosity with waking up her father. She realized that the driveway was slanted down, and it could be possible for her to shift into neutral and coast down the drive, allowing her to start the truck when she was further down the street.

Bella stepped on the break and clutch before sliding the stick into neutral. She carefully took her foot off of the clutch and break and the truck slowly rolled down the driveway. She was thankful that Charlie had backed her truck into the drive so she was able to steer the truck onto the street, the momentum carrying her halfway down the road before she came to a stop. Figuring she was far enough away to safely start the car, she twisted the key in the ignition and her truck rumbled to life. Bella started towards the Cullen Estate, not needing directions because everyone in Forks knew where the Cullen's lived.

The drive to the Cullen's house should have only taken a few minutes, but Bella found she was unable to sit upright because of the pain in her side. She slowed her truck to a crawl, not wanting to risk an accident. Had Bella been driving at full speed, she would have never seen the brief flash of light at the side of the road. But Bella did see the light and she pulled the truck over, turning the key to silence its incessant rumbling. Sitting at the side of the road, Bella second guessed her instinct to stop and investigate the cause of the light. She shrugged her shoulders and grabbed the can of pepper spray from her glove box before opening the door and dropping down to the gravel at the edge of the road. She left the door open, hoping the meager light from the cab would help to illuminate the path.

Edward was having a very loud, self-deprecating conversation with himself, or he would have heard the roaring approach of Bella's truck. He also did not notice when the rumbling was silenced or the squeaking protest of hinges when the door opened. It was not until he heard a quiet voice shout "hello" that he realized he was not alone. The person was closer than he had thought and when he moved to sit up, a hand wrapped around his wrist to assist him. Edward blinked furiously as his consistently dark world suddenly had shades of gray. He looked up at the Good Samaritan and was surprised to be able to see Bella's angelic face gazing down at him.

Bella had not noticed the blue cast on the strangers hand until she had already moved to help him up. Even without the visual confirmation as to whom he was, the fire shooting through her when her hand touched his skin would have shown her the truth. Both Bella and Edward spoke at the same time.

"What are you doing out here?" They asked and both foolishly wanted to shout 'Jinx.'

Bella helped Edward to his feet, but not before biting her lip so hard she drew blood trying to stifle her moan of pain. She could taste the metallic saltiness in her mouth as her tongue moved to sooth the marks on her lip. Now standing, Edward turned his hand over, threading his fingers through hers. He carefully raised his casted hand to her face, sliding his fingertips across her bloody lip.

"What have you done?" He whispered as he saw his fingers tinted with blood.

"It's nothing." She breathed as she stared up into his spectacular eyes, amazed that she had gone her entire life without seeing such beauty.

Edward gently shook his head. "It is not nothing. You bit your lip and if my suspicions are correct, I think you did it because you are in pain. Now…what have you done?"

"My ribs hurt." Bella said as she dropped her gaze to the ground, feeling like a scolded child. Edward used a gentle finger under her chin to tip her face up. He cursed himself when he saw her eyes shining bright with unshed tears. She must have tweaked her ribs when she helped him up, and all he had been thinking about was the shimmering electricity that was surging through his body brought on by her touch. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, careful not to let go of her skin.

"Lets get you home and we can see what kind of drugs my father has stashed away." Edward said teasingly. He hated to see Bella in pain. Bella was panting quietly now, her entire side alight with burning pain, her arm held uselessly at her waist. Edward was leading her to the drivers side, but she had no idea how she would be able to steer the massive wheel with only one hand. Arriving at the door, Bella turned to Edward.

"I don't think I can drive." She whispered.

Edward was silent for a moment before coming to a decision.

"I can drive." He stated. Bella looked at him, wondering is he had hit his head when he fell and was now delusional.

"How would that work?" She asked, trying to keep the skepticism out of her voice.

"As long as you are touching me, I can see. I have never driven a car, but I can't imagine it would be too difficult. Plus we are only about a mile from my house." He rationalized. Bella took a minute to think about it, but the searing pain in her side made the decision easy for her.

"Fine. You get in and then I'll go around to the passenger side." She said as she nodded towards the open door. He held onto her hand until he was settled behind the wheel and tossed his bag in behind him. He gave her hand a squeeze before releasing it so she could walk around the car to get in the other side. She slammed his door shut and he struggled to listen to her footsteps. He started to panic, worrying about what he would do if she got hurt and he could not see to help her. It had been very rare that he had been alone with anyone, and the thought never occurred to him before. But he found he felt very protective of Bella. Thankfully he did not need to worry because the passenger door opened moments later and he heard Bella's gasp of pain as she slid up onto the seat. He reached his hand out to her and his fingertips brushed her arm, his vision returning to him in a flash.

Bella looked over at Edward sitting behind the wheel of her truck and realized that there was no way he would be able to drive with one hand. It was bad enough that he was going to be hampered with his cast, she needed to think of another way for them to stay connected while his hands were occupied with the wheel. Edward was watching her face the entire time she was struggling to come up with a plan and was mesmerized when her face flushed a brilliant red.

"What?" He asked, unable to keep the amusement from sneaking into his voice.

"Um, I was trying to figure out how we could you know, stay connected, while you were driving. You obviously need your hands to drive. So I thought I could maybe, you know, um, touch your leg or something?" Bella finished nervously. Edward instantly understood her embarrassment, but realized that she was entirely correct. He reached his good hand down and tugged his pants up to mid thigh. Bella tried to pull her eyes from the newly exposed flesh, but failed miserably. Edward Cullen had amazing legs. The reddish brown hair covering his calf and thigh shimmered faintly in the truck's overhead lighting. She could see the tight muscles flexing as he pushed his feet against the floorboards, trying to push the seat back to accommodate his much longer legs. Bella heard a faint buzzing but did not acknowledge it. It was not until Edward waved his hand in front of her face that she realized that the buzzing had been Edward speaking to her. She blushed and shook her head, trying to clear the inappropriate thoughts from her mind.

"So, how do I start this thing?" Edward chuckled. He took the initiative and placed Bella's hand over his knee. He did not miss her wince of pain and quickly slid her hand further up his thigh so she would not have to bend over as far. It was his turn to flush as he realized he was all but forcing Bella to grope him. His eyes flew to her face and met her wide brown gaze.

"You ok?" He asked, his voice coming out rough.

"Yep, fine." Bella responded and she wondered why her voice was an octave higher than normal.

"Um, just step on the two pedals on the floor there. Nope not that one, that is the gas. The other one. Right. Now start the ignition, good. I'll shift for you so you just keep your feet where they are." Bella said as she shifted the truck into first.

"Now just ease your foot off the little pedal, and we should start to move." She said quietly as she slid closer to Edward on the bench seat so she would not have to reach so far to get to the shifter. She was instantly surrounded with Edward's scent. It was warm and masculine, leather and sage and citrus. She wanted to shove her nose in his neck and live there. Edward's shout of surprise startled her out of her daydream of setting up camp on Edward's shoulder.

"We're moving!" He yelled. His fingers were white on the wheel, but the road was straight until they got to the turnoff for the Cullen's driveway. Bella decided to keep it in first, not wanting to make it any more difficult on Edward. Edward had not felt so successful in a long time. He was doing something normal, and had a beautiful girl next to him the whole time.

They managed to navigate through the turn up the driveway, and only took out one flower bed in the process. Edward eased the truck to a stop in front of the five car garage and Bella threw it into park. After instructing him on how to set the parking break, Edward turned off the ignition and looked towards Bella. Her hand was still resting against his thigh and now that he did not have to concentrate so hard on the road in front of him, he was able to appreciate the warmth and delicateness of her fingers. She was absently rubbing her thumb in circles against his inner thigh and he suddenly realized he was becoming aroused. This had happened to him from time to time, mostly in the mornings. His brother had, out of the kindness of his heart, found a website that gave audio descriptions of pornographic movies so Edward would be able to enjoy some erotica even if he was unable to visually appreciate it. Edward was too embarrassed to listen after the first few minutes. There were too many instances of the words grinding, wetness and shaft for his liking. Now, he was here sitting next to a beautiful girl who had her hand on his thigh and of course his body was responding. His thin running pants would leave nothing to the imagination though and he did not want to embarrass Bella. He snatched her hand off of his thigh and brought her attention towards the house, where lights were now lit on the first floor. Of course Edward had no way of knowing if they were lit before he left, but he took it as a good indication that someone was awake.

"I bet my father is up. I left a note, but knowing them they will be out searching for me soon." He said as he nonchalantly tried to slide his pants back down. He let go of Bella's hand so she could get out of the truck and it felt completely backwards to him when she came over and opened his door for him. He grabbed for her hand and when he could see, stepped out of the truck and started over towards the house. He could feel Bella trying to hang back and he turned towards her.

"What's wrong?"

"How are we going to explain how I got here?" She said shyly.

"I'll tell them the truth." Edward said, as if it was not going to sound completely crazy that he had tried to walk to her house.

"Ok." She said, shrugging her shoulders as if to say 'it's your funeral.'

Edward opened the door and looked around, amazed that so much had changed since the last time he saw his house, a decade earlier. Bella was looking around with the same delight as she noticed the priceless paintings hanging next to the stick figure drawing that must have been done when the kids were little. There was a huge floral arrangement sitting on a tall table in the middle of the entry way, but next to it was a hideous figurine of a dog or wolf or something that must have been a school art project. It was obvious that although there were grand pieces of art here, it was also a home.

"Hello." Edward called out. Immediately both Dr. and Mrs. Cullen came running in from another room. They both looked weary and Bella noticed Mrs. Cullen's clothes were rumpled and tinged pink.

"Where have you been?" Carlisle asked, his face displaying pure shock to find Bella standing next to a haggard looking Edward.

"I left you a note." Edward said, trying to reach up and take his nerves out on his hair, but forgot about the cast.

"I had no idea you were even out Edward. We have been going crazy looking for your sister. I though you were asleep in your room." Esme said, her voice rough with emotion. Bella wanted to leave, but Edward could feel her pulling against his hand and childishly refused to release her.

"Alice is not here? Wonder where she could have gone? Have you tried her cell?" Edward asked, still amazed that his parents had not commented on the fact that Bella was here with him.

"Yes, of course we tried her cell, it goes straight to voice mail. After the night your mother and I have had, all I wanted to do was to find that at least a few of my children were safe." Carlisle said as he finally acknowledged Bella standing slightly behind Edward.

"Hello Bella. I did not think Edward would drag you over here so quickly. Jesus Edward, it has barely been a few hours." Carlisle said, fatigue and anger making his voice tight.

"I'm sorry Dr. Cullen. We ran into each other while I was on my way over here. I can go…" Bella said quietly, struggling against Edward's hold.

"No Bella, just ignore him. We had a… difficult evening and he is just tired. Why don't you go to bed Carlisle?" Esme said as she dug her nails into the underside of his wrist. He cringed against the pain and nodded his head.

"Um Dad, do you have anything for Bella's pain? Her ribs are really bothering her." Edward said as he tugged her forward, ignoring her distress.

"Bella, did you already take the medication I gave you at the hospital?" Carlisle asked, instantly flipping the switch between father and doctor.

"No Dr. Cullen." Bella answered shyly.

"Is the pain any different?" He asked, motioning Bella forward. Bella looked at Edward questioningly for a minute before he dropped her hand and she walked towards Carlisle. Bella was glad Edward could not see as Carlisle unceremoniously pulled up Bella's shirt, exposing her belly and side. He poked her around where the fracture was and finding no further damage, he righted her clothing and walked down the hall to his office to see what kind of narcotics he had. Bella was still bright red when she latched onto Edward's hand and he of course, had to comment on it.

"Why are you so red? What did he do?" Edward whispered in her ear, not realizing his mother could hear every word with the supersonic hearing every mother possessed.

"Nothing Edward, he did nothing. I'm fine." Bella answered in the same quiet tones. He would never understand how awkward she felt having her body exposed in front of others. How could he understand, she thought, look at him.

Carlisle returned with a tiny white pill. "Now Bella, this is a pretty strong painkiller. I would wait until you get home to take it. You can't drive while you are taking it." Carlisle said as he tried to unsuccessfully stifle a yawn.

"Bella can't drive. I drove us here." Edward stated proudly, earning blank stares from his parents.

"You… you drove? As in a car?" Esme asked incredulously.

"Yes. Bella touched me the whole time so I could see. I have to admit, it was difficult being that it was a manual transmission, but I think we managed quiet well." Edward said proudly as he quickly released Bella's hand, only to wrap his arm around her shoulder and place his fingertips against the exposed skin of her neck. A shudder ran through Bella at the feeling of Edward's fingers, but she managed to answer the last of Carlisle and Esme's questions before turning towards Edward to ask a very embarrassing question of her own.

"Am I… am I staying here?" She whispered against the fabric of his sweatshirt.

"Yes dear, of course. I will set you up in the guest room that is down the hall from Edward." Esme said before Edward could, as she walked forward to escort Bella upstairs. Everyone was surprise by the words that spilled from Edward's mouth.

"She can stay in my room."

**Edward is so damn sweet! Next up… more Alice and Jasper. But don't worry we will get back to Edward and Bella soon. **

**There really is a website called porn for the blind. It is kinda disturbing. **

**I would LOVE to hear what you think!**

**See you next week!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: Wow! What a response to last chapter. I loved reading what you all thought about Jasper and Rosalie. Several of you got Rosalie's future correct, but no one got Jasper's. I think that you should have a much better idea of how Jasper will be saved at the end of this chapter.**

**This is an Alice and Jasper chapter. We will get back to Edward and Bella in the next one and from then on it will mostly be everyone getting their say in every chapter. **

**Dalloway5906 held my hand this week and gave me some good news when all I had was bad. She is the ketchup to my fries. If you are not reading her 'Bittersweet' you should be cause we get some EmmettPOV in the next chapter and her Emmett is HOT!**

**I tried to catch up on my review replies, if I missed you I apologize. Know that I read every one of them and I can't believe we are almost at 100 reviews! You people are amazing!**

**Get a tissue….just saying. **

"I am so fucking high right now." Alice moaned after taking another hit off of Jasper's joint. He had to break into his stash of medicinal marijuana when his stomach started to roll. Jasper thanked the state of Washington for approving the use of the drug every time he lit up. The drug was the only thing that could take the edge off of the nausea and allow him to eat.

"I know you are baby cakes. You didn't have to smoke with me ya know. I hate corrupting you." Jasper said as he blew out a lungful of smoke. He was happy to be able to see a smile on Alice's face again. He never wanted her to find out about his prognosis this way. Hell, if he had his way she would have never found out about it at all. He knew that it was unfair to keep something like that from her, but he did not want to see the pity in her eyes. He got enough of that.

He should have just gone to the doctor when he first felt a lump, but no, Jasper Whitlock did not go to doctors. His mentality was to just rub some dirt in it and it would get better. When he started to get aching pains in his belly, he ignored those as well. It was not until he noticed his nuts had almost doubled in size that he realized he was not going to be able to ignore it anymore. His doctor was shocked that Jasper had waited as long as he had to be seen. They immediately set him up for an ultrasound and blood work. It was only days later that his doctor called to schedule a biopsy. Jasper was scared shitless as he sat in the waiting room, listening for the nurse to call his name so some doctor could remove a piece of his balls.

It felt like time moved in super speed after that day. He was given the results no one ever wanted to hear. He had testicular cancer. After a CT scan, the news only got worse. It had metastasized to his lungs and brain. It was not until after the surgery to remove his testicles that Jasper finally called his parents. He figured his parents might not notice his missing nuts, but they would definitely notice when all of his hair fell out from the radiation and chemotherapy treatments he was undergoing.

Jasper's mother had flitted around his hospital bed, talking nonsense about Lance Armstrong. His father, Colonel Whitlock, told him to put on a brave face and fight through it. Neither offered to stay with him, and as soon as they could, were back on a plane to Texas. He could not blame his parents, his birth had been an accident and they did the best they could with him. He left his home in Texas as soon as he turned 18, and had been bumming around the country ever since. He found himself in the dinky town of Forks after his vintage Nova blew a tranny on his way to Seattle. He scored a position as building manager of an apartment building after he stopped in to see about renting a place. Jasper was living a comfortable life, until the day everything changed.

Now, looking at the beautiful woman sitting across from him on his hospital bed, he realized that he had been fooling himself into thinking he had been happy before. Even now, trying to fight the nausea and blinding headaches, he could not picture a better moment.

"Whatcha thinking about Jasper?" Alice whispered as she slid across the bed and laid her head down in his lap.

"I'm thinking that I am happy baby cakes." Jasper said as he ran his fingers through the soft hair at the nape of her neck. She trembled against his legs as his nails scraped gently against her skin. Alice turned her head so she could look at Jasper from her place in his lap.

"I'm happy too Jasper." Alice whispered, but the tear that slid down her nose said otherwise.

"Baby, don't." Jasper breathed as he struggled to sit up. Alice sat up with him and helped him raise the head of the bed so he would be more comfortable. She tried to suck the tears back, but the harder she tried, the more spilled out.

"I'm sorry Jasper. I just can't believe that we just found each other and we only have such a short time to be together." Alice rambled, gesturing wildly with her hands.

Jasper sighed deeply as he tugged Alice over to straddle his legs. "Alice, I don't care if I only got that first conversation with you. Any amount of time I get to spend with you is enough."

"But it's not enough for me Jasper. I want to grow old with you. I want to have your babies and watch them learn to walk and have you teach them to play soccer and drive a car and hold me when I cry when they go off to college. I never knew I wanted any of that, until the moment I laid eyes on you." Alice sobbed into his chest, hating that she was unable to stop the words that were flying out of her mouth.

"I know baby, I know." Jasper groaned as he realized he could easily picture everything she just described and never knew he wanted that life either. But he could never give her anything close to what she wanted and he had a moment of panic as he imagined how hard it would be for her once he was gone. How could he encourage this attachment when she would have to go on without him? Could he actually be selfless and tell her to go live her life after he died? He felt a surge of debilitating rage flush through him at the mere thought of another man's hands on her delicate body. But what could he do?

"Alice, look at me." Jasper said as he pushed her away from him, shaking her gently. She brought her pain filled watery eyes to his face, taking in the fear that glazed his eyes.

"I don't think this is going to work." Jasper said quietly, ignoring the gasp that flew out of Alice's mouth. "I can't give you any of that. I am not a man anymore. Hell, I am barely alive. I can't sit here and love you, knowing I will be deserting you in only a few months."

"Wouldn't you rather have a few months with me than nothing at all?" Alice whispered.

"How can you be so brave? When I go, that is it. I won't have to miss you. You will be the one left here alone, dealing with the aftermath. I can't tell you that I want you to go out and meet someone and have babies and grow old. I am not that strong. I can't even stand the thought of you _being_ with another man and I haven't even had you yet."

"'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Alice whispered quietly as she fought against Jasper's hold to lay her head on his chest again. She could honestly tell him that once he was gone, for all intents and purposes, so was she, but she knew he would be angry with her.

"Don't you spout Tennyson at me. I think it would be better to fall in love with someone who has some kind of future. Maybe it would be better if you left." Jasper said, his voice faltering. He could feel her little body freeze against him as the words left his mouth.

"What did you say?" Alice said incredulously.

"I said maybe it would be better…"

"No! You shut the fuck up. I have lived my entire life without feeling anything even close to what I feel when I am with you. I went to school and met people and did meaningless shit, but I have not been alive. I have not felt anything until you walked into that chapel. How can you ask me to leave, to never see you again? Are you doing this to protect me or to protect yourself? What does it matter how I am once you're gone?" Alice ranted, pushing away from Jasper and clutching handfuls of her hair.

"How can I think about anything but what happens after I am gone? I am dying, I'm half gone as it is. Would you rather me just say 'fuck it' and string you along without any thought as to what will happen when you are alone." Jasper whispered, his nausea breaking through the calming high from the marijuana.

"I want you to realize that what we have will transcend death." Alice said softly as she noticed Jasper's already pale face go ghostly white. He fumbled for the basin that sat on the nightstand, but she was quicker and grabbed it and held it under his chin while he vomited. He had not been able to hold down much food during the day, so what came up was mostly bile. Alice waited until he was finished before climbing off the bed and going into the attached bath. She rinsed out the basin and found a washcloth. She started back into the room, but found she could not go any further than the doorway. Jasper was lying on the bed, facing her. He was curled in the fetal position, his arms clasped tightly around him. His head was covered in a fine layer of fuzzy hair, so blond it looked white against his skull. His eyes were shut tight, but the lids could not stop the tears that pushed their way through his lashes.

"Why does it have to hurt so bad?" Jasper whispered.

"Do you want me to get the nurse?" Alice asked softly as she forced her feet to move towards him, sitting gently next to him on the bed.

"Not me, this." Jasper said, gesturing between them with his hands, his eyes still fused shut.

"Would you rather we never met?" Alice asked, knowing that even if she lost him, she would never regret finding him.

"I don't know. I was prepared for death, ya know. I made my peace with my parents and said good bye to the few friends I had. I was ready." Jasper said, taking an uneven breath before opening his eyes and staring at Alice.

"But that was before I walked into that chapel. That was before I knew that there was a piece missing from my soul, and that you held it in your tiny hands. Now, how can I possibly let myself go, knowing that I am leaving you here. I am not selfless enough to let you go off to find another man to live your life with, to have children with. That should be me." Jasper said as he reached his hand up to slide it down her cheek, ending up cupping her chin in his palm.

"So what should I do? Deprive us the next six months of living a real life or spend every minute with you knowing you will be alone when I die?" He whispered, praying she had an answer.

"We live our life how we want to, for as long as we have. Too bad you lost both your balls or I would tell you to knock me up so I could always have a piece of you here with me." Alice smiled through her tears. Jasper looked down at the bed, letting his hand drop from her face.

"What Jasper?" Alice asked, concerned with the change in his behavior.

"I saved some." He whispered.

"Saved some what?" Alice asked, confused.

"Some of my… boys. You know, my junk. I saved some before they cut off my nuts." Jasper said as he picked at an imaginary fuzz on the blanket.

"You saved your semen?" Alice asked, suddenly very excited.

"Yes, but can you please call it something else." Jasper said, completely disgusted with the technical name for his little swimmers.

"Is that something you would really consider?" Jasper asked, looking up at Alice. As he watched her face break into a heartbreaking smile, he could see her with their child; crazy curly black hair held against her chest while she nursed, the baby's bright blue eyes gazing up at her as she told the child stories about how she met their daddy.

"Yes Jasper I would. How soon can we get me knocked up?"

**A/N: So? What do ya think?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: So I am posting this early because I am taking my oldest girly to the beach tomorrow. The hubs is staying home with the two little girlies because they would only want to eat the sand. **

**I told you the chapters were getting longer and then throw this short one at ya. I hope the beginning of the chapter redeems me for the brevity. Oh – and I will be earning my M rating with this one. Just a warning, tissues may be needed, but not for the obvious reason. **

**Dalloway5906 put this through the wringer and it came out new and clean for ya. I miss her hard core this week. She would always make me feel better when I am down, but sadly, her snarky smiles do not transfer well via e-mail. We got a peek at Emmett's junk in her Wednesday update of 'Bittersweet'. Just sayin'.**

**I hope you enjoy this nearly emo free chapter. It won't last long!**

The water in the shower was up as hot as it could go, yet Esme Cullen could not stop shivering. After getting Bella settled in, she raced to her room, anxious to rid herself of the despair and heartache she felt was coating her skin. Two of her children had been at the total opposite ends of the emotional spectrum tonight. Emmett had suffered through listening to his wife totally breakdown while Edward had been given his greatest wish, and now had a girl in his bedroom, although it was completely innocent.

Ducking her head under the spray, Esme tried to release the tension that had settled across her shoulders. She relaxed her head down and let the water beat a soothing staccato over her muscles. Her mind was so absorbed in trying to forget the overwhelming pain she had seen in her daughter-in-law's eyes, that she jumped when she felt a pair of hands descend on her skin.

"Relax darling, I've got you." Carlisle whispered as he pressed his body up against hers, wrapping his arms across her chest and letting the water stream over her shoulders and down his chest. Esme turned in his embrace and laid her head on his chest, taking a moment to recognize how perfectly she fit against his body. Her arms rested limply around his waist as he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss against her forehead. The tender display ignited something in Esme and her arms tightened around Carlisle as she brought her head up and attacked his mouth. His gasp of surprise was lost in the sounds of the falling water. Esme forced her tongue into his mouth, tangling around his. She pulled his full lower lip between her own and scraped her teeth across the fragile flesh, causing Carlisle to tremble and moan.

Carlisle was torn as to how to respond to his wife's behavior. He knew if he denied her, she would most likely breakdown, but he hated for her to share herself with him as a means of distraction. His thoughts were banished from his head as Esme reached out and encased his now straining erection with her delicate hands. She absorbed his whimper with her mouth as she continued to ravish him. Esme used her grip Carlisle substantial manhood to pull him towards to built in seat, wanting nothing more than to bring him to the brink of ecstasy with her mouth. As soon as Carlisle realized where she was leading him, he flipped their positions, sitting down on the seat and sliding his hand down Esme's silky thigh to grab right behind her knee. He pulled her leg up so her foot rested next to him on the platform which placed him nearly face first with her core. The water continued to run, making deliciously wet trails down Esme's body. Carlisle nuzzled his nose against her curls, seeking the place he knew drove her wild. Esme grabbed onto Carlisle's damp hair and held on tight as he nipped and licked at her sensitive flesh, causing her to cry out. Her body started to shudder as he brought her closer to the edge, not allowing her that final push into heaven.

Finally frustrated with his teasing, Esme pulled her leg off of the ledge and knelt down on either side of Carlisle's thighs. She leaned forward and licked his lips, knowing how excited it made him when she tasted the remnants of herself on his lips. True to form, Carlisle released a breathy moan against her mouth as he wrapped his hands around her hips, encouraging her to slide down his body and take him inside her. Eager to please, Esme did just that, leaving them both gasping for air as the incredible warmth surrounded Carlisle and the luscious fullness consumed Esme. Years of practice guided their rhythm as they continued to kiss and nip at each other's lips. His ability to read Esme's body made it easy for Carlisle to know when to reach down and stimulate the bundle of nerves that would bring on her climax. The bite of her nails against his skin told him when she was close and one final thrust brought them both over the edge. The sounds of their panting breaths were amplified in the enclosed shower as Carlisle easily lifted Esme with him as he went back under the now cooling spray. Esme stood on shaky feet as Carlisle gathered towels for them both, taking the time to gently run the fluffy cotton over her skin, removing any lingering drops of water. Now dry and spent, they retreated to their bed, both anxious for the soothing power of sleep to take them.

**()**

Bella Swan was also anxious, but for a completely different reason. She was standing in the en suite bathroom of the most incredibly attractive man she had ever seen. When he suggested that she stay in his room with him, she nearly had a panic attack. How could she sleep in the same room with this God among men? She had hoped that she would get some support from Esme and Carlisle, but after sharing a meaningful look, they both relented to Edward's request. Bella slowly followed Esme up the stairs and stood on slightly shaky legs, outside of Edward's room. She did not know what to expect, but she was not prepared for what she saw when she entered the room.

The walls were a soothing slate gray with bright white trim casing the windows and along the floor. The focal point of the room was an oversized bed covered in a bright red satin comforter. The vibrant colors surprised Bella, knowing that Edward was not able to appreciate the varying hues. She looked towards Esme, but she was absorbed in taking inventory of Edward's closet and bathroom, making sure that Bella had everything that she needed. After handing Bella a pair of Edward's sleep pants and a t-shirt, Esme left a dark blue towel on the counter in the bathroom and eased the door shut, the clicking of the lock sounding loud in the otherwise silent room. Edward had moved to sit at his dark wood desk, swiveling gently back and forth in the rolling chair. His gaze was focused on Bella, and even though she knew he could not see her, she felt trapped in his emerald stare.

"You can take the bathroom first. Please let me know if there is anything that you need. I can get you something from Alice's bathroom if you would prefer not to smell like me." Edward suggested with a chuckle, silently hoping that she would refuse his offer, because there would be nothing he would like more than to have her smell like him.

"Oh no, how you smell is great. I mean… I don't mind smelling like you. I mean… not that you smell or anything. Ugh." Bella groaned, finally putting an end to her word vomit and silently heading into the bathroom. She closed the door behind her and slid down to the floor, resting her back against the wall. How could she possibly do this? Edward was so self-assured and secure, even through his disability. Here she was, the only thing wrong with her being some extra weight, and she could not even stem her verbal diarrhea long enough to tell the man she was fine using his shampoo.

Pulling herself up from the cold floor, Bella stripped her clothes quickly, resisting the temptation of her reflection in the mirror and jumped into the larger than life shower stall. It took her some time to figure out the multitude of knobs and levers, but she finally got them all on and reveled in the feel of the rain shower falling down on her as the wall jets assaulted her body with soothing warm water. Bella lost herself in the relaxing warmth as she reached up and grabbed hold of Edward's shampoo bottle. As she squeezed the thick, expensive gel into her hands, the rich smell of peppermint and sage surrounded her. She lathered the shampoo into her long hair and let the scent of Edward melt away her anxiety.

Unbeknownst to Bella, Edward stood with his ear pressed to the bathroom door, absorbing any sounds from within. His hearing was well beyond a normal person's, due to his reliance on his other senses to compensate for his lack of sight. He had heard each piece of Bella's clothing hit the ground and had to clench his hands into tight fists so he would not reach out and grab the door knob. When he heard the quiet latch of the shower door and then the subsequent sounds of the water falling, his mind painted a clear picture of what Bella would look like with the water streaming down her curvy form. The flip of the shampoo bottle lid made his mouth run dry, as he realized that she was indeed going to come out smelling like him. The quiet moan from inside the bathroom had Edward striding across the room and falling onto the bed, using a pillow to muffle the sounds of his frustrated growl. Never in his 21 years had he ever had such an overwhelming physical response as he did when he was around Bella. His mind was going haywire trying to figure out why she was so special. Not only had she given him back his sight, she was also cracking the wall he had around his heart.

Edward was always cautious of attention from women, not that he put himself in the position often. His blindness made it difficult to meet women, and the money that came along with his family name brought out the worst kind of people. Edward's one and only previous experience with a woman ended disastrously when he was 18. He was finishing his second year at Seattle University and was on campus for one of his rare command performances. His professor allowed him to do most of the course work at home, but demanded that he come in at least three times a semester to perform the required material. Edward had sat on the stage of a packed auditorium, the humming sounds of the audience the only thing alerting Edward to the amount of people in the room with him. The professor encouraged Edward to start, and the crowd fell silent as the first strains of Rachmaninoff's third piano concerto filled the room. As the music drew to a dramatic close, it would have been easy to hear a pin drop as the room was silently absorbing the magnificence of what they had just heard. Edward was overwhelmed with attention as he attempted to make his way out to the parking lot where his mother was waiting for him. He must have gotten turned around in the building, because he suddenly found himself in the basement.

He tried to dig his cell phone out from his messenger bag, but stopped short when he heard the classic Prokofiev piece 'Peter and the Wolf' on the flute. He followed the flowing melody to an open doorway halfway down the hall. As the flautist finished, he was unable to stop from clapping his hands in appreciation, even if the performance was far from perfect. A startled gasp made Edward rethink his enthusiasm, but the performer was quick to thank him for his support and introduce herself. Tanya Denali was a second year music major who instantly recognized Edward and knew the story behind his blindness and his family's wealth due to some inside information. She played ignorant to his heritage and allowed him to explain all about how he lost his sight and how he was working hard to finish his degree from home. Ms. Denali knew an opportunity when she saw one, and carefully inserted her way into Edward's life. She finagled invitations to dinners and special events hosted by the Cullens, in hopes that Edward would one day fall for her. She threw herself at him at every turn, getting more and more frustrated when he refused to do anything but give her a chaste kiss on the cheek. Finally, sick of wasting her time trying to get his attention, Tanya went to Esme to see if she had any advice as to how to bring Edward out of his shell.

"Well Tanya, I really think that if Edward wanted to be with you, it would be impossible for him not to show you that. I think that you might just not be his type." Esme said, trying as diplomatically as possible to get the blonde, trampy, gold-digger out of her house.

"Mrs. Cullen, he is blind, he has no type." Tanya pouted.

"I think it might be best if you just leave dear. I'll tell Edward you said good bye." Esme said through clenched teeth. Yes, Edward might be blind, but he was also gentle and loving and kind. Tanya was not able to see past the dollar signs that seemed to follow him everywhere. Esme escorted the girl out of the house and had a nice long talk with Edward about the importance of finding a person of substance. The last three years had been very lonely for Edward, but he wanted to make sure that the next person he picked to spend time with was one he would be proud to bring home to his parents.

Releasing the strangle hold he had on his pillow, Edward went through what little he knew about Bella Swan. She was kind and sweet and generous to a fault. He knew she was beautiful, but she did not realize the effect she had on him. Her mind was wide open to the limitless possibilities in the world and the few conversations he had with her made him believe that she was incredibly intelligent as well. What gave Edward pause was the way she felt about herself. He knew from what Emmett had told him in the hospital, that her experiences in high school were very scarring. Emmett described an insecure overweight girl who moved to a new school, only to become to social outcast and the outlet for her classmate's ridicule. He knew that his sister-in-law was one of the ones who tormented Bella all through school, and he hated that the only interaction she had had with his family had been negative. His goal was to prove to her that not everyone wanted to bring her down.

The sound of the slow turning of the bathroom doorknob brought Edward out of his musing, as he sat up on the edge of the bed to listen for Bella's return. Bella entered the room, her wet hair plaited into a long tail down her back. The t-shirt and pants Esme had given her were too large, and she had to turn the waist of the pants down several times to make sure they would stay up. Never had Bella felt as small as she did now, wearing Edward's clothing. She stood shyly against the wall, dropping her clothes in a pile at her feet, hesitant to move towards to bed. She saw a small couch on the far wall and wondered if that would be where she was sleeping. No way would Edward's long frame fit on the tiny couch. Edward stood and slowly walked towards Bella, his hand extended in her direction, silently asking permission for her touch. She gradually raised her hands to his, reveling in the sparks that shot up her arm as his warm flesh connected with hers. His bright green eyes focused in on her large brown ones, anxious to see her once again. His breath halted in his chest as he looked her over. Her body was swamped in his clothes, but it only magnified her femininity as her curves made themselves known through the warn cotton and flannel. A t-shirt had never looked so good, and the crowning glory was that she now smelled like him everywhere. He leaned forward unconsciously, his nose against her temple as he breathed in deeply, his chest expanding and brushing against the hard peaks of her nipples which protruded through the cotton of her shirt. She had forgone a bra, knowing that the wide elastic would cut into her skin while she slept. Now his proximity was making her body betray her reaction to him. Her hand trembled in his grasp as he rubbed his nose against her smooth skin.

Bella's quiet gasp brought Edward back to reality as he pulled away, leaving his fingers tangled with hers. She looked upon him with wide eyes, her cheeks flushed pink and her chest moving quickly with panting breaths. Edward realized that his body's reaction to her would become apparent soon, and started to retreat towards to bathroom to get ready for bed.

"Make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back." Edward said as he grabbed a similar outfit to what Bella was wearing.

"Umm, where am I going to sleep?" Bella questioned, thankful that Edward was no longer making contact with her skin and she would be invisible to him again.

"In the bed… with me." He said casually as he retreated towards the bathroom.

**A/N: Phew! What did you think? Snuck that little lemon in there for ya!**

**I have a shit load of rec's for ya this week.**

**Beautiful Nightmare by Simone and Marie: It is an J/A fic and Jasper is heartbreaking in it! It needs more readers/reviewers.**

**The Practice of Love by belladonnacullen: B/E all the way in this one. Dr. Swan is wonderful and gets her hands on Edward's good really early!**

**Fade into you by RCD-Alice: Totally blew me away. A better version of The Lake House, but not really. A must read for sure!**

**I LOVE hearing from you all, even if I am totally fail at replying sometimes. Every single review and alert/favorite goes into my D&L folder so I can look at them again and again. Love to you all and see you next Saturday.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: Hello all! I am overwhelmed with the amount of reviews and alerts that you all have sent my way. I am amazed that you all are finding such enjoyment watching these poor couples bump their way through life. As promised, each couple (with the exception of Carlisle and Esme) have their chance to speak in this chapter. I hope you enjoy it. Just an FYI, Bella's experience in high school – totally taken out of my own pitiful history. **

**Dalloway5906 had a good time with this chapter. There are a few things in the Edward and Emmett sections that she really liked, I hope you enjoy them as well. She got some wonderful news this week, in addition to closing on their old house, she beat out 170 other applicants for one of the only jobs left in her state! I am super excited for her and wish she could send me some of her good luck. Although she has to suffer through a wedding from hell this weekend, so maybe not! **

Emmett Cullen tip toed into his house, feeling like a burglar as he avoided the notoriously squeaky step. How had his life taken such a drastic turn in just a short time? When he went to bed, he was secure in the thought that he had a loving wife who shared his happy life. Yes, children would make him even happier, but he would have told you that it would not matter to him if they never conceived. In his mind, Rosalie was all he would ever need, children would just be the icing on the cake.

Now, as he made his way silently to their bedroom, his world felt rocked to the core. His wife had been lying to him for months. He did not know what to believe, and it made him doubt everything Rose had ever told him. How could he trust her, knowing that she had been keeping her miscarriages from him? Five times she had gone through this same thing, never telling him about it. Yes, he had to admit to himself that the first time she had miscarried he had taken it very badly. But the thought of her going through this alone so many times, it blew his mind.

When he heard his parents leave hours ago, he had assumed that Rose was asleep. He was surprised to find that their bed was empty. He made his way down the hall to the empty nursery and gently pushed the door open. There, nestled amongst the innumerable stuffed animals in the room, was his wife, sound asleep. His heart clenched painfully in his chest at the tear tracks that trailed down her cheeks. He wanted nothing more than to be able to fix her, fix them. But he knew that it would take much more than his wishes to fix this.

He lowered himself to the floor next to her, using a giant moose as a pillow and watched the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she slept. He had always imagined watching her sleep in this room in an entirely different context. Rose would be sitting in the rocking chair, their child still latched onto her breast as they both slept. He would have gently picked up their child, girl or boy did not matter, and patted their back, before easing them into their crib. The child's tiny hand would grip tightly to his fingers, unwilling to sever that important contact with its father, before relaxing again into sleep. He would then carefully pick up Rose and carry her back into their bed, only after making sure that the baby monitor was on. They would snuggle together in their bed, dreaming of the places they would take their child, anxious to show them the world.

Now his dreams had turned to nightmares.

How would they get past this? He understood why she would keep something like this from him, but if she was keeping this from him, what else was she hiding? It made him nauseous to think about and he quickly turned his thoughts to something else or he would never get to sleep. So he thought about his brother and the mysterious miracle that brought him back his sight. He was not a believer in much of anything. He believed in the power of the Seahawks in the fourth quarter and the fact that 'if you build it, he will come.' But other than that, you would not get Emmett Cullen to believe anything else. But he believed that Bella Swan had the power to give his brother back his sight.

Emmett remembered Bella well from the time they shared at Forks High. She was the butt of every possible joke. He could picture an especially vivid interaction he had witnessed the one and only time he watched Bella stick up for herself. The students had a free period, since the health teacher would rather read a book than take the time to actually teach them anything. Someone had made a comment on Bella's weight and she had turned to the kid and muttered quietly:

"Why do you have to be such an asshole?"

To which the kid replied without missing a beat:

"Without assholes like me, there would not be shit like you."

Bella flushed ten shades of red and buried her face in her book as the rest of the class erupted in laughter. Emmett had wanted nothing more than to be able to stand up with Bella and support her, but he knew in high school, if you weren't with the in-crowd, you were on the sidelines. He regretted not supporting Bella, but he knew she would have ended up getting it much worse if he did try and help her. Kids were vicious like that, none worse than his wife. Even now she would make snide comments to him as they passed people on the streets. He could tell that it made her feel better about herself to put others down. He worried, if they ever had a child, Rose would follow in her mother's footsteps and demand that their child be perfect. He did not want a perfect child, he wanted their child, however they may turn out.

As his eyes drifted closed, Emmett silently sent a prayer to whoever had orchestrated the miracle taking place between Edward and Bella. He hoped that some of Edward's self assuredness and his will to overcome any obstacle he faced rubbed off on Bella. She deserved to be happy, and so did Edward.

()*()

Bella stood motionless as Edward closed the bathroom door behind him. She could not find the power to move even after she heard the shower start. She could barely breathe as she thought about the fact that Edward wanted her to sleep in his bed, with him. The giant bed could easily accommodate several people, but the fact that he wanted to share something as intimate as his bed with her was daunting. She finally forced her feet to carry her to the bed when she heard the shower shut off. She sat gently on the edge of the bed, the satin comforter slippery under her sweat dampened hands. She could understand why Edward would have picked such a tactile comforter, his sense of touch would be more sensitive since he lacked his sight. She quickly banished those thoughts because they led to her thinking about how Edward's hands would feel ghosting across her skin.

Bella could not stifle her squeak of surprise as the bathroom door flew open, allowing a gust of Edward-scented steam to spill into the room. He was dressed in low slung sleep pants, a t-shirt draped over his arm as he roughly drew a towel through his hair. His tresses were dark brown from the water, drops flying everywhere as he coaxed the remaining moisture out of them. Bella knit her fingers together tightly in her lap, trying to resist the urge to rip the towel from his hands and dry his hair for him. Finally satisfied that his hair was somewhat dry, he tossed the towel in the direction of his closet and pulled the shirt over his head. Bella marveled at the way his muscles contracted as he stretched to fit the cotton over his head.

Edward walked slowly to where Bella was seated on the bed, stopping when he stood directly in front of her. She tipped her face up just as Edward brought his hand up to touch her jaw. His green eyes widened as he looked her over, marveling at how she could have gone this long without realizing how breathtakingly beautiful she was. He could not resist running his thumb over her full lower lip before throwing her a wink and gesturing towards the head of the bed. Bella flushed pink as she pulled her legs up onto the bed and scooted back. Edward walked around the side, still maintaining contact with Bella, and drew the covers down. Bella snuck her feet under the covers as Edward settled down and turned on his side so he could face her.

"How did you shower without getting your cast wet?" Bella asked quietly.

"I used a plastic bag to cover it. It worked pretty well, although I have to say it was difficult to wash my hair one handed. I could have used some help." Edward replied, unable to keep a cocky smirk off of his face. Bella blushed from the tips of her ears to her feet as she realized what Edward was insinuating. Edward watched with fascination as the color spread across her pale skin and silently reprimanded himself for embarrassing her. He figured his only chance of keeping her in the bed with him would be to just turn off the lights and go to sleep. The clock said it was close to four in the morning and he knew Bella would want to be up early so she could get back home to the Chief.

"What time do you need to get up tomorrow?" Edward asked as he rolled to his side and grabbed his vibrating alarm clock from under his pillow. He did not need the brail markers or verbal commands to show him which button controlled which function, thanks to his connection with Bella's skin.

"Ummm… I don't really need to be home at a certain time tomorrow. Charlie will be out fishing before the sun rises and he doesn't check on me before he leaves. I doubt he would even notice my truck was missing." Bella said quietly as she tugged on the sleeve of her borrowed shirt, trying in vain to cover the scar on her upper arm she received when she disobeyed her mother and ran with scissors when she was 14. The nasty looking scar ran from just above her elbow to her shoulder. It took nearly 75 stitches to close the gash. Bella had never used scissors since.

Edward merely nodded, setting the alarm for 10am, figuring that would give them enough time to be up and dressed for brunch the next morning. He chose to ignore Bella's offhanded comments about her father's concern over her whereabouts. It made him sick to his stomach to think that anyone could treat this amazing girl with such callousness. He started to release his grip on Bella to clap his hands and shut off his rarely used lights, but realized quickly that he would have a hard time doing that with his hand in a cast. He quickly explained the situation to Bella and she laughed lightly as she moved his hand to her forearm and clapped her hands together, sending them both into darkness.

Bella snuggled against the pillow, hyperaware of Edward's hand gripping her forearm. She reached up with her other hand and tangled her fingers with his so it would be more comfortable to sleep. Edward pulled the sheet up to his neck, willing his heart to stop pounding in his chest. Yes, it was the first time a girl had been in his bed, but neither of them were ready to do anything more than sleep. Well, certain parts of Edward's anatomy were ready to do other things, but both his body and Bella's had suffered injuries and they were just starting to get to know one another. Edward took several deep breaths, enjoying the way that Bella's unique scent mixed with the smell of his shampoo. He let his eyes drift closed as he rolled towards Bella, tucking her hand together with his under his chin. She was facing him as well, as her arm was only so long and he had complete possession of her hand.

"Goodnight Bella. Thank you for staying with me." Edward whispered, his warm vanilla mint breath fanning the hair that lay on Bella's forehead.

"I should be thanking you Edward." Bella said, smothering a yawn as her fatigue and the heavenly fog of the pain medication pulled her towards sleep. Edward watched in the weak light as Bella's eyes drifted closed. Her long lashes rested against her pale cheek and he had to stop himself from leaning forward and placing kisses against the delicate skin of her lids. Her breathing evened out and he tugged her towards him as he rolled onto his back. Her body came willingly, her head snuggling onto his chest as she curled around him. He could feel a warmth spread through him as she coiled around him, even in her sleeping state recognizing that she could trust him. Edward finally allowed his own eyes to close as sleep claimed him.

()*()

Jasper had never seen anyone move as quickly as Alice did once she had made up her mind. Her cell phone had been sitting silenced in her purse since she had entered Jasper's room, but now it was blowing up with missed calls and text messages that had come in over the past few hours. Her parents had been frantic with worry and she had also received several concerned calls from her brother. Alice disregarded her family's worries and instead scrolled through her contact list until she found her gynecologist's phone number. It was well before the office opened, but she was convinced she could finagle herself an appointment later in the day. She had just recently had her annual exam and her doctor had joked that she had the most hospitable uterus he had ever seen. She brushed aside his words, instead choosing to discuss the possibility of using a different method of birth control, hating having to remember to take a pill every day. They agreed that they would insert an intra-uterine device in 6 months, after reminding her that she needed to stop taking the birth control pills now and use alternate methods of contraception until after the device was inserted.

Alice was thrilled with how things had worked out. She had been free of the hormonal birth control for four months now and it should not be too difficult to pinpoint when she would ovulate, since her period was due in a few days. Her cycle had always been as regular as clockwork, and she hoped with the help of a few tests, she could possibly be pregnant with Jasper's child as soon as next month. Jasper watched, enthralled as Alice sweet talked her way into her doctor's office after casually dropping her father's name. Jasper's head was spinning as he realized that this little bundle of energy had just scheduled an appointment for what could be the start of his child's life. He had only banked his semen because the grief counselor made such a big deal about it. Jasper never imagined he would find his soul mate and start the process of getting her pregnant with his child within just a few days. It made him wish he had a longer life expectancy, so he would be able to watch her body change and grow to support the tiny life that would flourish inside of her. He wanted to stand in the delivery room and watch as their child entered the world, his hand clenched tightly in Alice's delicate one. But Jasper had accepted his fate and was ecstatic that Alice would be able to raise and keep a piece of him with her after he was gone.

()*()

Edward's eyes fluttered behind his closed eyelids as he entered REM sleep, his dreams vivid and bright. Bella was dreaming as well, but hers were dark and ominous, as they always were. While Edward was sitting in a field of wildflowers with Bella sitting next to him, Bella was running through a dark forest, branches ripping at her clothes and hair as she passed like insistent fingers. In Edward's dream, Bella turned her heart-shaped face towards him, the gentle breeze playing among the thick waves of her hair as she leaned close to him, their lips just a breath apart. Bella was running faster in her dream world, feeling like she was being pursued by an invisible entity. Her foot caught on an exposed root and she went sprawling towards the ground, turning over to watch as the dark form descended on her. Just as Edward and Bella's lips touched in Edward's dream, and as the evil thing finally caught Bella, they both sat up in bed, breathless for entirely different reasons. Sun streamed in through the large windows, and Edward turned his face to the warming glow. His hand was still clasped tightly in Bella, and he was taking the opportunity to see how his room looked with the bright sun reflecting off of the silver walls. While Edward was glancing around the room, willing his morning arousal away, Bella was trying to calm her unsteady breaths and racing heart.

After they had both taken care of the aftereffects of their dreams, Edward released Bella's hand and shooed her into the bathroom. Bella washed her face and tugged her fingers through her tangled hair. She used Edward's toothpaste and her finger to cleanse her teeth the best she could. After making herself as presentable as she could given the limited feminine products in Edward's bathroom, she headed back into the bedroom, her breath catching in her throat as she saw Edward standing at the door to his closet. He was dressed only in tight fitting gray boxer briefs, his arms were caught in the sleeves of the t-shirt he was trying to tug over his head. At her noise, he whipped around, his head peaking through the head hole.

"I'm sorry, I thought I would be done before you were. It takes Alice at least 20 minutes to get ready in the morning and she is my sole source of knowledge of female habits." He said as he righted the shirt and smoothed it over his chest. Bella had never been so thankful Edward could not see her as she was now. She could not tear her eyes from the way the stretchy cotton of his briefs molded to his thighs and the bulge of his manhood. She stood speechless as Edward apologized again and reached to the floor to grab his jeans. His muscles flexed and she watched as gravity pulled his package down, her eyes widening as she realized the sheer size of said package. The cotton left nothing to the imagination and she found her mouth and hands damp with the urge to touch. She must have made a sound of protest as he pulled the jeans up over his hips, because his head whipped up, his cheeks slightly pink with the embarrassment of being caught nearly naked.

"Something wrong?" He inquired quietly, his voice oddly gruff.

Bella started shaking her head frantically before realizing that Edward could not see her. She muttered something about a tickle in her throat and moved towards the bed in search of her clothes from the night before. Just as she located the pile, she found her hand trapped between long, powerful fingers whose touch always seemed to send her pulse skyrocketing. She knew her cheeks were still stained red after being caught admiring him, so she kept her face turned down. Edward used his fingertips to pull her face up, appreciating the flush across her skin and her wide brown eyes.

"Don't hide from me." He said softly as he released her hand and walked into the bathroom, giving her the privacy to get dressed. Bella was back in her own clothes, as much as she hated to give up her Edward-scented shirt, when he finally emerged from the bathroom. He grabbed her hand and they walked down to the kitchen, with Edward giving her a half-assed tour as they went. Edward was relived to find a message from his sister Alice on the machine when they entered the bright, modern kitchen. She was rambling about her soul mate and something about becoming a grandparent before saying she would call again when she could. He saved the message, hoping that his mother would be able to decipher her cryptic words. Edward had Bella sit down at the breakfast bar while he tended to their meal. They were the only ones up in the house, being that it was still fairly early in the day. Edward pulled the yogurt, strawberries, grapes, bananas and peaches out of the refrigerator and grabbed some granola from the pantry. He worked quickly but efficiently with his one good hand while Bella sat watching, petrified that he would cut off one of his fingers.

When he finally had the fruit salad complete, he retrieved the container of yogurt from the counter and spooned some into two bowls. He poured the fruit over it and sprinkled the whole thing with granola. After getting two spoons, he pulled a dishtowel from its place on the stove and sat down next to Bella. He eased his hand into hers and looked down at his dish, pleased to find it looked exactly as he had imagined it would look. He motioned for Bella to grip his forearm so he could use his hands, and she jumped back when he went to tie the rag around her head.

"Do you trust me?" He asked, his voice sounding deeper than usual.

Bella nodded and leaned forward so he could tie the towel around her head, blocking her vision. He sat back and took advantage of the fact that she could not see him by taking his time looking her over. He was again amazed that she thought so low of herself, he thought she was beautiful. Careful to make sure her hand stayed on his forearm, he picked up a piece of strawberry from the bowl and told her to open her mouth. He noticed how her cheeks flamed as she realized he was hand feeding her, but he could not resist. He rubbed the strawberry over her lips, watching as the juice turned her lips even redder and prayed that her tongue would come out and try to take the fruit from him. Not a second later his prayers were answered as her tiny pink tongue emerged from between her lips and wrapped itself around the strawberry. He stifled a groan as the fruit and her tongue disappeared back into her mouth and she chewed delicately. He knew how it would feel, the juice exploding from the fruit as she bit down. She would have to rely only on her sense of taste and smell to figure out what kind of fruit it was. Eating was the one thing Edward truly enjoyed through his blindness. He wanted to have Bella experience what an amazing journey food could be when you could not see.

Edward shifted on the stool as Bella moaned softly as she chewed the strawberry. She opened her mouth again, hoping for a different experience this time. Edward did not disappoint as he slid a juicy peach slice onto her tongue. A drop of juice slid down her chin as she tried to chew, and it took all of his strength not to lean forward and lick the juice from her skin. He was not sure what would have tasted better, her skin or the nectar. Edward had just leaned forward to give Bella a sliver of grape when they heard someone clear their throat from behind them.

"Well, isn't this cozy."

**A/N: Who could it be?**

**I hope you took this time to check out the stories I rec'd last week. They are still absolutely pwning my ass. I would love it if you would tell me when you are reading something that is killing you. There are so many wonderful fic's on my favorites list that are ending right now. **

**On a happier note - did you know Icy is continuing MOTU? **

**www(dot50shades(dot)com **


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: I am so overwhelmed with the response this story has received so far. I keep trying to respond to reviews, but I have some news to share that may cut me some slack. I just recently found out that we will be expecting child #4 in late March. My oldest will be 3 on the 26****th**** and my twins will be a year on the 24****th**** of this month, so you can believe that this was a complete surprise! Dally and I joke that I got knocked up because I was doing it to Alice. So please, stay with me over the next few months. I have been doing well with keeping up with chapters so I don't think I will have to push back my updates, but you never know. **

**Dalloway5906 starts her new job on Tuesday, so send her some good thoughts. She has been super busy, but assures me that we will not be breaking up – she will still somehow find the time to beta this train wreck! **

**We get some more info about Rose and Emmett in this chapter. I would suggest a tissue for most of the chapter. Just sayin'.  
**

Edward and Bella turned towards the person that had spoken such caustic words, both stunned at whom they found standing in the kitchen doorway. Edward's eyes widened in surprise as he stared at the stranger leaning against the wall. The woman was tall and her violet eyes and long blonde hair would have made her beautiful, but the scowl on her face showed that her personality detracted from her striking exterior. She was dressed casually in khaki pants and a blue button-down blouse with crisp white sneakers on her feet.

"Your mother did not tell me you were having company for breakfast. I would have made something." The stranger sneered, and Edward was finally able to place her voice.

"Good morning Irina. I am so sorry to have invaded your domain." Edward said, chuckling quietly as he tried to pacify the Cullen's housekeeper. Irina Petrov had been the backbone behind the Cullen home since the children were little. Esme did not have to work and wanted to spend as much time with her children as possible. That left Irina in charge of the cleaning and cooking so Esme could dote on Emmett, Alice and Edward. Irina's presence was even more of a Godsend after Edward lost his sight, since he relied on his mother even more after his diagnosis.

Irina should have looked at her position with gratitude. She was working for a wonderfully generous family who went out of their way to include her in their family gatherings. But all Irina could think about was the millions of dollars sitting in the Cullen family accounts. After years of opening their mail and watching the zeros multiply on the savings statements, Irina had finally had enough. She knew there was no way she could get to Emmett or Alice, but Edward was still a possibility. She had been scheming for months, when destiny lent a hand. No one knew that Tanya Denali was Irina's niece, but Tanya knew all about the Cullens. So when she had the opportunity to weave her way into the family, both Irina and Tanya took advantage of it. Irina did her job by dropping hints to Esme and Carlisle about how happy Edward looked with Tanya around. Irina could almost feel the money in her grasp when her twit of a niece went and ruined everything by trying to get in the boys pants. How many times had she explained to the girl that if she just waited things out, they would be rolling in cash? But no, Tanya had to ignore her Aunt's suggestions and go tattling to Esme about Edward's lack of attention. Of course he did not want to touch her, she was a vapid, round heeled slut that was only out for one thing. Now Irina's plans were ruined. She still had her other niece Kate waiting in the wings, but the time had not been right for any more matchmaking with Edward trying to finish his degree. Now, as she watched the sparks flying around Edward and the chubby girl at the counter, she feared her chances were all used up.

"Oh no Edward, don't you worry. You just surprised me." Irina said, trying to bite back her ire.

"Irina, I would like you to meet Bella Swan. Hopefully she will be a permanent fixture around here from now on." Edward said as he slid Bella a sly grin and her face bloomed pink. Irina finally noticed that Edward was not wearing his dark glasses and she stifled a gasp as she realized he was making eye contact with the chunky girl.

"Edward, can you see?" Irina breathed, unable to believe what she was seeing with her own eyes.

"Isn't it amazing! Bella must have some witch's blood in her or something, because anytime I touch her, I can see." Edward said proudly as he raised their twined hands.

Irina felt a wave of relief flood her as she realized that Edward's reasons for clinging to this girl were completely rational and not romantic at all. Of course he would want to take advantage of the ability to see again, who wouldn't? But Irina narrowed her eyes and looked closer at the way Edward's body was unconsciously orienting itself around the girl. He was gazing down at her with joy and admiration painted across his features. He may not know it yet, but Irina could tell the boy had fallen hard. A slow smile crept across her face as she realized she knew just the way to make this poor girl run screaming for the hills.

Irina helped Edward and Bella clean up from breakfast and wished them a good day as she headed up to start the laundry, hoping she could find some place private so she could make a phone call.

()*()

Someone was pounding a rock against her head. That was the only reason Rosalie could come up with for the throbbing in her skull. She opened her eyes, her head protesting against the bright light streaming in through the nursery windows. She stifled a groan as she rolled off of her stuffed animal bed and onto her hands and knees. She squinted against the glare and saw Emmett asleep atop a giant moose, a string of drool running from his lips to the animal's ear. Her heart clenched painfully in her chest as she realized even after he discovered she had been lying to him for months, he still wanted to be close to her. She did not deserve the love of this wonderful man.

Rosalie ignored the cramping pain deep in her abdomen and slowly stood. She made her way to the bathroom, silently thanking her in-laws for cleaning up the mess she had made the previous night. She showered away her tears and quietly dressed in her most comfortable clothes, packing several outfit changes in her overnight bag. Rosalie opened her bedside table and took out the sheath of papers she had printed from the internet a week earlier. Using her laptop, she navigated the American Airline's website and was able to book a flight to Los Angeles in minutes. Knowing she could never explain to Emmett why she was leaving in a note, she vowed to call him as soon as she arrived at her destination.

Rosalie could not help but walk past the nursery on her way out. She choked back a sob as she gazed at the sleeping form of her husband, hoping that he would forgive her for what she was about to do. A well timed call to a taxi company meant that Rosalie was able to walk right out of her house and into the cab, insuring she would make it to the airport in plenty of time for her flight.

()*()

Jasper could not sit still as he waited with Alice in the empty waiting room. When he had originally told Alice he would accompany her to her appointment, she balked. She wanted him to stay put in his bed and rest, but Jasper was not going to sit idly by as Alice was poked and prodded. Now he was second guessing his decision as his eyes rested on the posters of an enlarged uterus and dilated cervix.

"Alice Cullen." A nurse called from the open door.

Jasper jumped as Alice slipped her tiny hand into his and pulled him towards the door that led to the unknown. Alice was asked to change into a gown and sit on the table and Jasper's gray complexion flushed pink at the thought of her conceiving his child without either of them seeing the other naked. His hoarse chuckle made Alice peek her head out from behind the privacy curtain.

"What's so funny cowboy?" Alice asked as she wrapped the gown around her and plopped onto the table, her legs swinging back and forth since she was too short to reach the ground.

"Just thinking how unconventional this whole thing is. I have barely gotten to first base with you and here we are, trying to get you pregnant." Jasper smirked.

"Well, why wait when you have found the only thing you would ever want." Alice sighed wistfully as she yanked at Jasper's shirt to bring him in for a kiss. They were lost to the world as Jasper slid his tongue against the smooth skin of her lips, silently asking permission to enter. Alice gasped as he sucked her lower lip into his mouth and bit down, making her body hum with pleasure. They were so involved in each other that they did not hear the discrete knock at the door or the banging of her chart hitting the counter. It was not until the doctor loudly cleared his throat that the couple pulled apart, Alice reaching up to fix Jasper's wig that her fingers had displaced.

"Well Ms. Cullen, it looks like you finally found your match." Dr. Gerandy said, unable to keep his amusement to himself.

"Yes sir. Now how fast can we get me pregnant?" She asked bluntly, causing Jasper to choke on air.

They decided to try a regimen of Clomid first, hoping that by stimulating Alice's ovaries to make more eggs, there would be a better shot of Jasper's frozen semen finding one when they did the Intrauterine Insemination. Since Alice was set to get her period later in the week, the doctor gave her a prescription for Clomid and instructions to take it five days after her period started. She would be monitored daily to pinpoint when she ovulated and they would inject Jasper's semen into her in the office. The procedure was painless, they told her and although they said it could take multiple times to be successful, she was confident that she would be pregnant before the end of the month.

As Jasper listened to the clinical explanation as to how they would conceive their child, he had a moment of panic. He worried how his child would feel knowing that they were conceived in an office. He wondered if the child would resent the fact that they were fatherless. He was petrified that after he was dead and buried, Alice would look back at this decision with regret. As Alice turned her tear brightened eyes to his face, he did his best to push his insecurities to the side and listen to the rest of the doctor's spiel. Jasper decided to head out to the waiting room while Alice got dressed. He pushed open the door and looked around the room. During their appointment the room had filled up with parents-to-be. He watched with jealousy as fathers stroked their wives' distended bellies and felt their child moving inside. His hands clenched into fists as he realized he may not make it long enough to watch Alice go through this. He did not even notice the hot tear that slid down his cheek until it was wiped away by Alice's delicate fingertips. She unwound his fingers and linked hers together with his as she pulled him out of the waiting room.

"Let's go tell my parents they are going to be grandparents." Alice laughed.

()*()

Edward walked Bella to her truck, hesitant to release their connection. Bella had made sure that Edward had seen everything he wanted to see before she suggested that she should go home. It was late afternoon and Charlie would be home from fishing soon. It was Bella's job to clean and package the fish so they could be frozen for dinners later in the week. Bella hated having to scale and clean the fish, but Charlie made it clear that now that there was a woman in the house, he would not be doing anything he considered to be 'woman's work'.

Bella was opening her truck's door when a car came streaking down the driveway, scattering gravel as it skidded to a stop. Bella stared at the car, wondering who could be in such a rush. The passenger door flew open, revealing a tall blond man who walked gracefully around the hood of the car to open the driver's door, allowing Alice to slide out. Both Bella and Edward were taken by surprise when the man leaned down and pushed Alice against the hood of the car, his hands wrapping around her body as he ravished her. Her hands tangled in the back of his shirt as she held on as if she were drowning in him. Bella quickly averted her eyes, embarrassed to be witnessing something so personal. Edward was unable to tear his eyes from the sight before him. He knew people kissed, although the last memory he had of watching anyone kiss was a chaste peck his parents shared not long after they had gotten his diagnosis. Now watching his sister and this mystery man embrace, Edward felt a painful longing within his chest. He wanted to do that. But not just with anyone, he wanted to share a moment like that with the shy girl standing next to him. He looked down at Bella and noticed her flushed cheeks and downcast eyes, knowing she was uncomfortable watching the display of emotion.

Alice finally untangled herself from Jasper and was startled to realize her brother and Bella were standing in the driveway. She could not help the self-conscious giggle that emerged from her lips as she tugged Jasper over towards their audience.

"Edward, Bella, I would like you to meet Jasper. He is my soul mate." Alice said wistfully as Jasper extended his hand to Edward first and then Bella.

"How did you two meet?" Edward asked, trying to hide the shock he felt at his sister's words. Alice had been talking of her soul mate for years, since they were children. She always knew there was someone out there who was perfect for her and she refused to date anyone who did not make her feel that spark.

"Fate." They said at the same time, causing Bella to laugh. Edward's head snapped in her direction, enchanted by the relaxed sound spilling from her lips. He wanted to be the one to make laugh like that.

"Will you both come back into the house for a second, we have some news we want to share?" Alice asked shyly as she started walking towards the house with Jasper trailing behind her, without waiting for a reply. Edward and Bella returned to the house and were surprised to find a very tired looking Esme and Carlisle sitting in the living room. They had not seen hide nor hair of them all morning.

"Well Alice, what is the big announcement?" Edward prompted as he tugged Bella down to the couch next to him.

"Jasper and I are having a baby!" Alice shouted.

The room was silent as everyone processed the information. Bella was surprised that Alice would want her here for this family oriented discussion, but stayed quiet. Edward was suspicious of Jasper's intentions, since the Cullen family's wealth was well known throughout the area. Esme was ecstatic at first, but quickly realized how hard it would be for Emmett and Rose to hear Alice's news. Carlisle was furious that his only daughter had neglected to introduce them to Jasper before getting herself into this situation.

"When will the little bundle of joy arrive?" Bella asked quietly, hoping to break the tension in the room.

"Well, see that is what we are not quite sure of yet. I should be having the implantation sometime in early June, so that means it would be a February baby." Alice said as she rubbed reassuring circles on Jasper's hand, which was held tightly between her own.

"Wait, what do you mean 'implantation'?" Carlisle asked, stepping into his lab coat and stethoscope without moving a muscle.

"Well you see, Jasper can't have children the natural way, but he had banked some semen before his surgery, so we will be using that." Alice said calmly, as if she was discussing the weather.

"Um, Jasper is it? Could you tell us what is going on, because I am really confused?" Esme said quietly as she tried to keep up with her daughter's ramblings.

"Well Mrs. Cullen, I have cancer and no longer have the ability to father children. Alice has gotten it into her head that she wants to have a child, hopefully before I kick the bucket. So we will be doing an intrauterine insemination using the um…stuff I banked before my surgery." Jasper said as his fingers clenched painfully against Alice's.

"What is your prognosis Jasper?" Carlisle asked.

"They were giving me six months the last time I checked." He answered, but Alice jumped in quickly.

"I have been doing some research on the power of positive thinking and happiness and prayer, and I really think that once we get pregnant, Jasper will improve. I really do." Alice said, near hysterics as tears started running down her cheeks. Bella turned her face into Edward's shoulder as she thought about finding one's soul mate and then losing them so quickly. Esme felt her own tears forming as she watched her daughter in obvious pain. Edward and Carlisle both felt better as they watched Jasper turn Alice into his body, making sure that she knew he was there with her. It was obvious to them both that Jasper and Alice had a very strong connection, no matter how short their acquaintance. Drying her tears, Alice let out a watery laugh.

"I would blame the pregnancy hormones, but I am not even pregnant yet." She said, breaking the tension that had settled over the room with her tears.

The rest of the time spent in the living room was filled with Jasper's tales of growing up in the south and how he came to settle in Forks. Carlisle managed to get a moment alone to discuss his treatments and who his doctor was. After hearing his diagnosis and the radical treatment he had already undergone, he understood why he was given only six months. Alice and Esme had pulled Bella into a lively discussion about the pros and cons of a gender neutral nursery when the front door flew open, revealing a distraught Emmett.

"Is Rose here?" He shouted before sprinting up the stairs to search for her. When he had finally woken up, he was shocked to find his house empty. He checked the entire house, finding her car still in the garage. He tried her cell phone, but it went straight to voicemail. Out of ideas, he sped to his parent's house, praying that she had walked the mile or so to his family home. Now coming up empty here as well, he plopped down into a chair in the living room and buried his head in his hands.

Just as Esme opened her mouth to speak, his cell phone started vibrating in his pocket. Pulling it from his pants, he breathed a sigh of relief as he saw it was Rose.

"Where are you?" He bellowed.

The family sat on pins and needles as they watched Emmett's reaction to Rose's words.

"I'm not coming home for a while." She whispered into the phone as she sat in the airport bathroom. She had called to check herself into the treatment center, but the car would not arrive for her for another 30 minutes.

"What does that mean baby? We can work through this. You know how much I love you." Emmett sobbed into the phone and Bella and Jasper squirmed against their respective partner, hating to witness such a personal display.

"I know Emmett. I love you too. But I really think I need to get myself sorted out before I can be good for you." She breathed, tears falling down her face and leaving wet marks against her gray yoga pants.

"Baby, please. Just tell me where you are and I will come and get you. We can work through this together. I am nothing without you." Emmett whispered, his pain evident in his words and the hand that was clenched tightly in his dark curls.

"I'll call you in a few weeks." Rose said, knowing if she did not get off of the phone soon, she would be booking a return flight back home.

"No Rosie, please wait!" Emmett shouted, jumping up off of the chair, startling everyone in the room with his swift movement.

"I'm so sorry Emmett. I love you." Rose sobbed as she disconnected the call and turned off her phone. She knew the device would be confiscated the minute she entered Bridges to Recovery. The in-patient treatment center was highly recommended to deal with depression and eating disorders. Rosalie slowly stood and left the bathroom to wait for her ride. She knew she needed to get better before she could return to her family.

Emmett sat staring at the phone in his hand. Carlisle was the first to approach him, laying his hand gently on his son's shoulder.

"Emmett, what is going on?"

"She left. She would not tell me where she went." He said, his eyes never leaving his phone.

"Did she say anything? When she was coming back?" Esme asked quietly, worried for Emmett but also for Rose.

Emmett slowly looked up into his father's concerned face, tears running freely from his pain filled eyes.

"I have no idea."

**Poor Emmett. Things will not start looking up for him for a while yet. **

**All of the fertility info comes from my own personal use of the stuff. Took me one try on Clomid to conceive my oldest and 5 rounds for the twins. Another reason why we thought we were in the clear and did not worry about birth control. Learn from my little surprise!**

**What do you think of Irina? **

**Next Saturday is not too far away! I love you all!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Not Mine**

**A/N: I tried very hard to respond to all of the reviews I received last chapter. If I missed you – know that I did read your review but was too busy puking in the sink to respond. This morning sickness is kicking my ass and I can't wait till I hit my second trimester next week. **

**We take a small leap forward in time this chapter. There will be a much larger fast forward through the lives of our group in a bit cause I really don't want to have to write the entirety of Alice's pregnancy, especially since I am living it!**

**Dalloway5906 enjoyed this massive chapter. I am super excited to see her in just a few weeks! She is settling in at her new job and so far does not want to kill anyone, but the year is still young!**

**Enjoy this look into everyone's lives. I really liked seeing vulnerable Edward and Emmett in this one. My poor sweet boys.  
**

The days fell into a pattern in the Cullen household over the next few weeks. Bella arrived right before nine every morning and Edward met her at the door, not hesitating to grab her hand and lead her towards the kitchen. After feeding her breakfast blindfolded, Edward and Bella retreated to his office so Edward could work on his compositions. Never had Bella heard such amazing music. Edward was extremely talented and Bella enjoyed nothing more than to be able to rest her hand on his bare foot while he struggled to play the piano with his broken hand. She could not imagine how it would sound when he had full use of both his hands.

Job hunting was not going so well for Bella. Her degree allowed her to start as a guidance counselor in a middle or elementary school, but so far all of her inquiries were yielding dead ends. Bella refused to take any money from the Cullens for her time spent with Edward, because selfishly there was no place else she would rather be. She brought her laptop or a book with her and sat under his piano as he worked. Her skin was constantly humming from their connection, making it difficult for her to concentrate.

Although Carlisle and Esme could see that both Edward and Bella were content with their arrangement, they both worried what would happen when Bella eventually found a job. She was living at home with her father and owned her truck outright, but still would need to pay her student loan and cell phone bills. Chief Swan had called last week to let the Cullens know that he was not going to be paying Bella's bills indefinitely. With all of the things Esme was dealing with, Bella became her number one concern right now, if only because there was no one else watching out for her. So with Bella's wellbeing in mind, Esme made several calls to her friends to see if they could find Bella a job.

A few days later, Bella was overjoyed when she received a job offer from Queets-Clearwater Elementary school. They had a part time position open working with their 5th and 6th graders. Bella could not contain her excitement as she burst through the Cullen's door and ran straight into Edward's waiting arms. He rocked backwards from her exuberant greeting and sighed happily at the feeling of her in his arms. He had tried for weeks to initiate a good morning hug, but Bella's self-conscious nature ended that pretty quickly. Edward figured she must have gotten good news for her to have this reaction.

"I got a job!" Bella squealed as she pulled out of Edward's arm and grabbed his hand to drag him into the kitchen. She slapped the letter down on the counter and turned towards Edward, unable to keep the smile off of her face. She finally felt worthy now that she had been offered a position, and it was the kind of job she had always envisioned herself doing. Bella's smile dimmed slightly as she looked up at Edward, expecting to see him feeling the same excitement, but Edward's face reflected none of the enthusiasm she was displaying. Instead he looked upset. She plopped down on the stool behind her and squeezed his hand, their signal for 'look at me.' Edward's eyes flew to Bella's and he took his bottom lip between his teeth so he would not yell at her not to take the job. All Edward could think about was the fact that their time together would be compromised. He could care less that his time being able to see was going to be cut short, it was his time with Bella he would miss. He had come to love their routines and he worried he may not be able to compose without her delicate hand against his naked foot. It made his chest ache to think about her not camping out under his piano reading her book as he pounded on the keys above her.

"What's wrong?" Bella whispered, pulling the words from her dwindling supply of courage.

"Nothing Bella, I was just surprised. This is wonderful news! When do you start?" He asked, forcing his tone to be jovial and light.

Bella could see through his façade and dropped her gaze to the letter on the counter so Edward would not be able to see how his false excitement hurt her.

"Umm, I will start when school starts up again in the fall. It is only part time, lunchtime until the end of the school day. I will find out the salary when I go for orientation in August." She said quietly, tugging at the edge of the paper with her jagged fingernails.

Edward breathed a sigh of relief as he realized they still had nearly two months to be together and even after she started working they would have all morning. Bella mistook his relief for exasperation but was saved from having to comment any further when Carlisle walked into the room. He took one look at Bella's distressed face and the lip clenched tightly between Edward's teeth and realized something was wrong. Carlisle had set up strict parameters with Edward to make sure he would not take advantage of Bella. He was happy to see that they had both matured over the past few weeks, Edward making sure he put Bella's needs first and Bella actually vocalizing her wants and desires. But now Carlisle was at a loss as to how to proceed, knowing that something was rocking their usually calm boat.

"What's up kids?" He asked as he reached for a glass. There was silence behind him as he opened the fridge and got out a pitcher of juice. No one spoke as he drained the glass in one gulp and placed it in the dishwasher. Carlisle tired of the games and instead, reached for the paper that rested on the counter. He could not hold back his excitement for Bella and pulled her in for a one armed hug, since Edward refused to release her other hand.

"Wonderful news Bella! You are going to enjoy working there. That was where Emmett and Alice went to school. Did you go there as well?" Carlisle asked, his heart soaring at Bella's good fortune.

"No Doctor Cullen, I went to Forks Elementary." Bella said softly. Unable to keep his excitement to himself, he yelled for Esme. She came running, but stopped suddenly, as if halted by the tension in the room. Her eyes drifted from Bella to Edward, and could tell immediately that her son was the main cause of the anxiety. Esme pulled Bella into her chest, already knowing what the letter said, since she was the one to put it all in motion. Edward had no choice but to release Bella's hand as his mother pulled her from the room, eager to hear all about her new position.

Carlisle looked down at his son's head that was now bent over the counter. He knew that the news of Bella's eminent schedule change was the reason behind Edward's distress. Carlisle was furious that Edward would treat Bella so poorly, disregarding her own happiness and future dreams just so she could stay here and allow him to see. He walked towards his son, intent on giving him a piece of his mind, until he heard a sniffling sound coming from the boy. Placing a gentle hand on Edward's shoulder, Carlisle was shocked to see tears falling into a puddle on the counter below him.

"Edward?" Carlisle whispered, praying that his son was not upset that his source of vision was actually getting a life.

"She will find someone normal." Edward breathed, keeping his head down.

"What are you taking about?" Carlisle asked, completely confused. Edward raised his sightless, watery eyes to his father.

"She will go out and meet friends and find a normal man who can give her things I can't and she will realize she doesn't want to spend time with a cripple like me." Edward said harshly as he brushed his fingers against his cheeks, trying to wipe away the proof of his emotions.

Carlisle was shocked. He had no idea that Edward felt this way. He had assumed that Edward was worried about the amount of time he would be able to have Bella here to act as his eyes. He would have never guessed that his son had developed feelings for the girl.

"Edward, what is Bella to you?" Carlisle asked cautiously.

"She is… everything. She is the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing on my mind before I sleep. I worry about her…constantly. She has two left feet and can barely walk in a straight line, so if she is more than one minute late, I always imagine the worst. I feel inspired when she sits under my piano and reads. She is so intelligent, but doubts herself all the time. She is the most beautiful girl I have seen, and she has shown me pictures of who she thinks is beautiful and in my mind, they can't hold a candle to her. I mean…that Scarlett Johansson girl, yes she is attractive, but Bella is far above her in my opinion. I feel like I can't breath until she is around me, like my body is waiting for her presence to truly live." Edward said vehemently, seeming surprised at his own words.

"Well Edward, to me that sounds like you love her." Carlisle said.

()*()

When the Cullen children turned 21, they were given a parcel of the Cullen Estate to do with as they wished. Emmett and Rosalie had built a massive, sprawling house with a pool and waterfall in the back and a basketball court in the side yard. Edward's still stood empty, but Alice had hired a contractor and architect to come up with plans for an escape cottage for herself. Never in her wildest dreams would she imagine she would be getting ready to move into it with her boyfriend and prepare the guest room to become a nursery.

Alice had never accomplished so much in one day as she did now that they had a deadline. Her period had come like clockwork and all of the subsequent blood work had shown that the Clomid was doing its job perfectly. Jasper had held her hand during her intrauterine procedure the previous week and they were waiting patiently for Friday so she could take a pregnancy test. In her heart Alice already knew the answer to that test. It would be positive.

Jasper had been getting stronger since he finished his last round of chemo. His doctors warned him that if he did not continue treatment, they could not say with any certainty how long he would last. But Jasper knew he did not want to spend his last months pumped full of poison and sick all the time. He wanted to have a semblance of a normal life, for as long as he could. He was ecstatic when Alice told him about her home. He had worried that they would be moving into the Cullen Estate, and as much as Alice's family had welcomed him with open arms, thinking about sharing a bed with Alice under the same roof as her father and brother, just seemed wrong.

As Alice drove up the winding driveway that led to her cottage, she could feel her heart swelling within her chest. She was taking her man home and tomorrow morning she would pee on a stick and it would turn positive. She just knew it.

()*()

Emmett was taking Rose's disappearance very hard. He was forced to take a leave of absence from work because he was unable to concentrate on much of anything. He fielded calls from Rose's mother everyday, until he finally just turned the phone off. Lillian Hale was a menace. He wondered how he could have possibly been so blind to how she treated people, especially her own daughter. When Emmett answered her first phone call in Rose's absence and he tried to explain where she was, Lillian exploded. She blamed everything on Rose, saying if she had just worked a little harder at keeping a nicer home and working out a little more often, she would not have been so sad all of the time. It took everything in Emmett's power not to drive to her house and beat her to death.

Emmett knew what was wrong with his wife, he had just ignored it for years. And now he had to deal with the repercussions of burying his head in the sand. If he had just talked to Rose about her eating habits and her poor self-image, she would not be nearly 1000 miles away right now.

Rose called Emmett every week. She told him she was starting to feel better. She attended group therapy sessions as well as worked one on one with someone. At first she told him she would be home in just a few weeks. But today she told him it would be at least six more months before she would be coming home. She needed to make sure that when she returned home, she would be the wife he deserved. Emmett worried that she was putting him so high up on a pedestal she would never be able to reach it.

Emmett almost ignored the phone when it rang late Friday afternoon, but he knew that his sister was expecting some news today and did not want to disregard her. The squealing that came through the receiver as soon as he picked it up gave him the answer to the news. He was so happy for Alice and Jasper that they had been able to get pregnant so quickly, even though the thought of his younger sister having a child before him felt like a knife to the gut. He congratulated both Alice and Jasper and accepted their invitation to celebrate the news by joining them and their parents for dinner. He was surprised when Alice said that Edward and Bella were going to accompany them to dinner as well.

Bella had become like another little sister to him the past few weeks. Since he was not working, he found himself at his parent's house more and more. Edward always seems to have Bella held captive in his office, but Emmett was able to spend some time with her when they joined the family to watch a movie each evening. Once Bella came out of her shell, she was hilarious. Between falling over her own feet and her self-deprecating humor, Emmett found himself gravitating towards her when she was in the room. Her presence made him feel better.

Emmett also found that scotch made him feel better. So as he waited for his family at the restaurant, he had no problems justifying the three drinks he threw back before anyone arrived. He was happily buzzed when he finally saw his family walk through the door. Edward and Bella, while hand in hand, seemed strained. He could tell by the tightness of her eyes that something was bothering Bella and Edward looked white a ghost. His goal for the evening was to find out what was going on between those two.

()*()

Bella almost did not go to the Cullen's house on Friday, she was still so upset with Edward. Esme kept her occupied for most of the day after her announcement, somehow knowing that Bella was not able to face Edward. They sat together for dinner and the movie they always watched as a family each evening, just so Edward would have the use of his eyes. She felt empty as she watched the rest of his family interact, especially the connection Jasper and Alice had. Alice had checked Jasper out of the hospital that morning and had spent the day getting him settled into their new home. Bella wanted nothing more than to have someone look at her the way Jasper looked at Alice. You could see the love oozing from his pores as he watched her. After a quiet meal and movie, Bella left with barely a 'good bye' from Edward.

Bella was surprised when she had to knock on the Cullen's door that Friday morning. Never in the weeks that she had been coming had Edward not greeted her when she arrived. When the door finally opened, it was blue eyes and blond hair that met her and not the green and auburn that she had anticipated. Carlisle ushered her into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry Bella, Edward seems to be a bit under the weather today." Carlisle said, his head buried in a cup of coffee.

Bella fidgeted nervously as she tried to figure out why Carlisle had brought her in and not just told her that at the door. Was she supposed to stay? Did Edward even want her here anymore? The thought of him dismissing her so easily after the news of her new job was appalling. Her temper spiked and color rushed to her cheeks as she imagined Edward making his father do the dirty work and telling her he did not want to see her anymore. She had just stood up from her perch on the stool when Esme breezed into the room.

"Good morning darling. How are you feeling today, good I hope? Poor Edward is dealing with a head cold. I know he would still like to spend some time with you today. Why don't you head up to his room with some juice? I can't imagine he is contagious, right Carlisle?"

Carlisle, taken off guard by Esme's suggestion could only nod dumbly as Esme handed the juice to Bella and shooed her out the door and up the stairs. As soon as she was out of earshot, Carlisle turned on Esme.

"You know he is having a hard time dealing with these new feelings. I thought we both agreed to give him some time alone?" He shout-whispered.

"Oh dear, you know how stupid you men can be. If we left him alone to stew he would come up with some excuse to break things off to protect her or to make sure she is living a normal life. He needs to face up to his feelings and embrace them. I can't imagine that Bella does not feel the same for him." Esme cooed as she patted him on the cheek.

Bella walked slowly towards Edward's door, careful not to spill his juice. She knocked on the door, but was met with silence. She knocked louder and turned the knob, allowing the light from the hall to slant across his bed. He was lying, on his stomach on top of his comforter, his hair tangled around his face. She could see dried mucus caked around his bright red nose and the pile of tissues on the floor testified to his illness. She set the juice down on his nightstand and could not help but sit next to him on the bed. She brushed the wayward hair off of his forehead and he sighed. Her hand settled on the nape of his neck, fingers weaving their way through his thick hair. His face nuzzled against her thigh as he looked up towards her with sleepy eyes.

"Umm, Bella. I was having the best dream." He breathed, bringing the smell of cherry cough drops with him.

Bella chuckled. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, you decided to stay with me forever and we were so happy." He replied, his eyes sliding closed again.

"What made us so happy?" She wondered aloud, not really expecting an answer since she assumed he was already back asleep.

"You loved me." He sighed.

Bella bolted from the room, barely sparing a glance at Esme and Carlisle and flew out the front door. He wanted her to love him? Could that even be possible? She already knew she was getting dangerously attached to him. His humor and intelligence meshed so well with her personality, conversations were seamless and easy. The hours passed each day without either of them even noticing. Their interests, while different, were similar enough that they were interested in each others endeavors. Aside from the fact that he was a God amongst men while she resembled Cinderella's ugly stepsister, they could not have been a better match. Why would he torture her this way? She knew she could never have him. The two of them becoming a couple could only happen in cheesy chick flicks, not in real life.

Bella ignored her phone for the rest of the day, until Alice's contact info popped up on her screen. Not wanting to miss the big announcement, she quickly answered. Alice told her that the only way she would find out would be if she joined them all for dinner. She was to be at the Cullen Estate by 7pm. Dressing for dinner turned into a horror movie fairly quickly. Why she even bothered to ask her father's opinion, she did not know. He was an honest man, to a fault. So after the third time he told her an outfit made her look like she was trying to stuff a pig into pantyhose, she gave up. Wearing simple black pants and a dark blue boat neck sweater, Bella slid out of her truck and onto the Cullen's driveway.

"Oh Bella, you look wonderful. I did not know you had so much curl to your hair." Esme said as Bella joined them at the bottom of the steps. They were waiting for Carlisle, as always. The man would be late for his own funeral.

Edward's fingers itched to touch Bella, if only so he could see what his mother was raving about. He wanted to see her hair and what color she was wearing. Bella noticed his anxious fingers and with a sigh, relented. She grasped his long, capable digits and felt the familiar electricity rush through her, bringing color to her cheeks. His eyes whipped towards her and his breath caught in his throat. Her pale skin was tinged pink at her cheeks, which he knew was not from make-up. Her dark hair was caught up in clips around her face, leaving long curls flowing around her shoulders. She was wearing a blue sweater that left the skin of her upper chest and shoulders bare. He wanted nothing more than to pull her towards him and bury his face in her neck. He could never get past how amazing she smelled. It was less obvious and obnoxious than what most women wore, his mother included. She was like apples and lilies and warmth. He was pulled out of his perusal by the appearance of his father. They pilled into Carlisle's Mercedes and headed towards the restaurant.

Bella was anxious the entire ride. It seemed like Edward would not stop staring at her. She knew she looked different, but she did not think it was that big of a deal. She was relieved when they joined the rest of Edward's family at the table. Emmett was not looking good. Bella felt an instant connection to Emmett since Rose had left. It was as if Rose had been stifling his true nature. The one negative thing Bella had noticed about Emmett was his drinking. She wondered if the rest of his family was concerned or even noticed that he had three drinks with dinner, or that he swayed slightly when he went to the restroom.

Bella excused herself right after Emmett got up from the table, hoping to snag him for a minute before he came back. The rest rooms were located in a secluded hallway across from the kitchen. As Bella started down the hall, she stopped short when she saw two people in an embrace. She moved to turn around, but the kitchen door swung open, throwing light on the couple. Her hand tried to quiet her gasp as she realized it was Emmett standing very close to a young lady. She knew he was too intoxicated to truly understand what he was doing, and as much pain as he was in with Rose gone, she knew he would truly regret his behavior when he sobered up.

Gathering her courage, Bella walked down the hall and tapped Emmett on the shoulder. He turned around, a smirk on his face. His countenance instantly dropped as he realized who was standing behind him. His hands fell from his conquest instantly and his eyes filled with tears. Bella's heart hurt at the sight of this big powerful man who was so very broken. She tugged her arm through his and they made their way out of the restaurant. She paused to send a quick note to Alice, letting her know that she had gotten ill and Emmett was taking her home. She grabbed Emmett's keys and stowed him in the passenger seat. It was very difficult for Bella to reach the pedals of Emmett's giant SUV, but after some maneuvering they were on their way back to Emmett's house. The teddy bear of a man was crying softly in the seat next to her.

"What happened?" Bella asked quietly.

"She is not coming home for six more months." He whispered, using the sleeve of his shirt to wipe his eyes and nose.

"Oh Emmett, you know she is just doing this to get better. It is not to punish you."

"I know. But she does not even ask how I am doing. Do you know, since we started dating I have only spent 22 days away from her? That is it. I can't sleep alone. She doesn't even ask."

Bella stayed silent the rest of the ride, unable to come up with a good excuse for Rose's behavior. Safely back at home, Emmett poured himself out of the car and stumbled up the stairs. He had to wait for Bella to unlock the door because he kept dropping the key as he tried to fit it into the slot. He collapsed on the couch with his head in his hands. Bella sat down next to him, her hand gently rubbing circles against his spine.

"Is there anything I can do Emmett?"

"How can you be so nice?" He breathed, not taking his head from its resting place.

"Um, what?"

"Everyone was so mean to you in high school. How can you still be so nice to everyone? I mean, you spend all your time with Edward, who is king of the boring. You listen to Dad's mind numbing stories about work and Mom's new ideas for the bathroom. You gave Alice your cell phone number, which is like inviting her to call you at 3am when she can't sleep. You were even nice to Rose when she went out of her way to treat you like shit. Now you sit here, after making sure I did not ruin my life, and try to make me feel better."

"I'm not sure Emmett. I guess I keep trying to see the good in people. It is not too hard with your family. You always looked like you wanted to help me in high school, but couldn't, and I understood. Rose is going through a really hard time right now. While it does not excuse her behavior, it makes it easier to understand why she does the things she does. Alice is just…Alice. How can you not want to talk to her? As for your parents, they are the nicest people I have ever met." Bella finished, her hands now tucked together tightly in her lap, praying that he would ignore the fact that she missed someone.

"And Edward?" She looked up at him through lowered lashes.

"Well, Edward is a different story all together." She said, hoping he would leave it at that.

"Do you feel like he takes advantage of you so he can use you to see?"

"No." She said immediately.

"What do you feel?" He asked, knowing there was a reason she was gripping the hell out of her fingers and why her face now resembled a tomato.

"Umm." She stalled, but was saved by an insistent banging on the door. Emmett cringed as the obnoxious sound irritated his scotch-induced headache. Bella jumped from the couch to answer the door. She yanked open the entrance to find Carlisle standing in the opening.

"Would you two like to tell me what the hell is going on?"

**A/N: Uh oh! Daddy C is pissed. Next chapter is only a week away. Please know that your reviews make my morning sickness a bit more bearable so please, send me some love!**

**I would LOVE to hear from you as to whether you would like to see Alice and Jasper have a boy or girl. I am getting ready to write that chapter and am stuck as to what it should be! Please share your thoughts with me.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: So here we are, ready to have the showdown with Carlisle. I would have no problem with Carlisle taking me over his knee as punishment, but lynne0731 thinks that it would be much nicer if he was not angry while he was doing it. Either way I am game!**

**Lemon warning ahead. We finally get some Edward in this one, but maybe not in the way you expect. For all of you who are waiting patiently for some B and E fireworks, I am working on it! **

**Thank you so much to all of you who reviewed the last chapter. We are only 3 reviews away from 200 and I can't believe that! I tried very hard to respond to the reviews as they came in, so I apologize if I did not respond to you. Thank you to those of you who also responded to my question about Jasper and Alice's child. There was a consensus, and I am planning on following the majority. Thank you to Rinou who sent me a wonderful PM and told me to follow my heart. Thankfully my heart wanted what most of you wanted as well, so it is a win-win!**

**Dalloway5906 has me on eggshells waiting for her next chapter of 'Bittersweet' but real life is kicking her ass as hard as it is mine, so I am cutting her some slack! She liked the last bit of this chapter a lot, you will know it when ya see it! **

Bella stood silent with the door knob still clenched tightly in her hand. In all of the times she had interacted with Dr. Carlisle Cullen, she had never seen him so furious. If she thought about it, she could understand why he would jump to the wrong conclusion about why she was here with Emmett. What upset her was that he thought she was actually the kind of girl who would hurt not only Rose and Edward, but also the entire family by carrying on with Emmett.

"Dad, what are you talking about?" Emmett whined exaggeratedly from his spot behind her on the couch.

"I'm talking about the fact that you both disappeared from the restaurant without a word to anyone and now I find the two of you together." Carlisle fumed.

"Dr. Cullen, I think there has been a misunderstanding here. I got sick and Emmett offered to drive me home…" Bella tried to explain, but was cut off as Emmett groaned.

"Dad, the truth is I was blitzed outta my mind and Bella saved me from making a terrible mistake. She drove me home so I could wallow in my own misery without raining on Alice and Jasper's parade." He admitted, saving Bella from her own terrible lies.

Carlisle looked from Bella to Emmett. He was hesitant to believe what Emmett was saying, but thinking that they were having an affair was even harder for him to buy. After Alice told everyone about Bella's text message, Edward retreated into himself, shutting down completely. Carlisle knew he wished he could have been the one taking care of Bella, but how could he with his blindness? The ride home was silent and awkward and Carlisle was relieved when his son excused himself and headed for bed. Carlisle pled a sudden hankering for ice cream but drove the short distance to his oldest son's house instead. What else was he supposed to think when, instead of just confronting his son, he found both Bella and Emmett together.

"Is this true Bella?" Carlisle asked, sending the full power of his blue-gray gaze towards her.

Bella flushed a brilliant crimson and nodded her head. She hated that she had been trying to lie to Dr. Cullen, but she knew that it was Emmett's story to tell. She only hoped that he would not look badly at her after this.

Carlisle shook his head sadly, not only upset that his son was obviously having trouble dealing with Rosalie's absence but also that his problems had come between Edward and Bella. Ever since Edward's realization about his feelings towards Bella, Carlisle had witnessed a change in his youngest son. It was as if Edward had realized that his protective wall he had built around himself had been breached, completely without his knowledge. Carlisle and Esme had witnessed the wall being built brick by brick after Edward's diagnosis. It was as if he were trying to protect not only himself from being hurt, but also to keep everyone else out of his heart so they would not have to be burdened by his disability. Now Bella had managed to find a place in his heart, and he was completely thrown as to what to do now.

"Bella, did you leave your truck at the house?" Carlisle asked, trying to get everyone back where they belonged.

"Um, yeah I guess I did. It is not far, I can just walk back and get it." Bella said, forever trying to be as insignificant as possible.

"Don't be ridiculous. Just let me get Emmett some water and aspirin and then I will drive you back to the house." Carlisle said with a wave as he wandered towards the kitchen.

Emmett was sprawled across the couch with his arm covering his eyes. Bella could see the light catching the streaks of moisture that were trailing across his cheeks as the realization of what he almost did caught up with him. Bella knelt down next to the couch.

"Emmett, you did not do anything. You were being friendly with a stranger and we left before it progressed to anything more than that. You just needed someone to recognize you for the wonderful man you are, that is all. I can see that Emmett. I know what a good man and brother and husband you are. Just remember that." Bella said quietly as she placed a comforting hand against his arm. He shifted slightly so he could make eye contact with her.

"You don't deserve the life you have Bella." He said softly.

"But it is the only one I've got." She whispered before standing up and moving towards the door to wait for Carlisle.

Having witnessed the interaction between Bella and Emmett from the kitchen doorway, Carlisle was once again in awe of the young girl who was shyly standing in the hall. How she could continue to put others before her when she was suffering so inside was beyond him. He handed Emmett the bottle of water and pills and then implored him to visit them tomorrow so they could sort everything out. He grabbed his keys and gestured Bella out the door. After stowing her safely inside his car, he started up the driveway.

"He is drinking a lot." Bella whispered so quietly Carlisle thought he had imagined it.

"I know. Esme and I are very worried. He has never dealt with being alone very well. I am very glad you were able to stop him before he made a terrible mistake this evening." Carlisle said vehemently.

"He would have realized what he was throwing away even if I had not found them. He loves Rose more than anything else in the world, even more than their future children. I only wish she could see that."

Carlisle nodded thoughtfully, surprised that Bella had been able to figure out the crux of Rose and Emmett's problems so quickly, since it was just now that he was coming to the same realization. He stopped the car in front of the garage and Bella hopped out, walking quickly towards her truck. Carlisle realized that she had no idea how Edward was suffering since her disappearance from the restaurant and decided, against his better judgment, to meddle in their relationship.

"Edward was rather upset after you left this evening. Maybe it would be a good idea to say goodbye before you left." Carlisle said, feeling bad that he was trying to guilt her into seeing Edward.

Bella's eyes drifted up towards where she knew Edward's bedroom window was. She wanted nothing more than to be able to go home and stand in a hot shower and release all of the tears she was holding in, but she knew Carlisle was right. She needed to see Edward.

()*()

Alice knew something bad was going on with her brother Emmett, but unlike Carlisle who jumped to the wrong conclusion, Alice knew that Bella was only trying to help him. She was still floating somewhere above cloud nine ever since she got the positive test that morning. Jasper had sat quietly on the edge of the bed, waiting for the test to be finished. When she came running into the room with the little digital stick in her hand, he broke down. He never thought he would have this kind of life. He imagined spending his last few months in a hospital bed, alone. Now he would be helping Alice get their home set up for their new arrival. He could not have been happier.

Finally home after the debacle at the restaurant, Alice wanted nothing more than to be able to enjoy some quiet time with Jasper. They had not been able to spend any real time together since she brought him home from the hospital. They had walked through her cottage, her pointing out the nursery and the bright room they would share.

Jasper was slowly recovering from the debilitating effects of the chemo and radiation therapy. He was finally able to eat most foods without worrying about them making a re-appearance later. His body was slowly losing the gray pallor Alice had come to know and with his ability to eat more, he had managed to gain some weight. All and all, combined with the new pregnancy hormones, Alice was having a hard time keeping her hands to herself.

Jasper was sitting on the couch in the living room when Alice suddenly dropped a chaste kiss on his lips, before slowly walking down the hall towards their bedroom. She paused halfway down the hall to unbutton her shirtdress, pushing it off of her shoulders until it fell in a pile at her feet. She could hear Jasper's roughly indrawn breath as he saw the bright red bra and hipster panties she had been hiding underneath the black dress. She was still wearing her electric red stilettos, which only added to the image. Jasper watched as her lithe body sauntered down the passage, her porcelain skin a stark contrast to the crimson red of her lingerie. He could feel a long forgotten tightening in his groin as she walked away from him. The doctors had told him that his sex drive may falter after the Orchiectomy, but he should have no problems functioning. Jasper had been scared to even try to become aroused, for fear that his junk would malfunction. And then what kind of man would he be?

Now, feeling the faint stirring of arousal, he jumped from the couch and followed Alice towards their bedroom. He was surprised to see the bed empty when he entered the room, but the sound of the water running in the bathroom alerted him to her location. He swiftly removed his shirt, not even giving notice to the multitude of scars that littered his torso from the central lines and biopsies he had endured. He did avoid glancing in the mirror above the dresser, hating to see his body so ravaged. But he knew Alice loved him in spite of what he looked like. And it was obvious that she found him attractive, or else she would not have tempted him with her impromptu striptease.

Pushing the door open, Jasper could barely make out Alice's slight form as she bent over the tub. Steam clouded the room, bring with it the crisp scent of lily and mint. Always in tuned to his presence, Alice turned and walked towards him, her body parting the steam like she was a vision from a dream. His breath lodged in his throat as she dropped to her knees before him. He would have protested about her position on the hard floor, but her nimble hands made him mute as she started to unbuckle his belt. His eyes rolled back in his head as her warm hand gained contact with his hard, aching flesh. It had been months since he had been touched and even then it was only his own hand. Now her delicate hand was fisted around his shaft. He could feel the pulsing of his racing heart as it tried to beat out of his chest.

Alice channeled her inner sex goddess and gazed up through her lashes, meeting Jasper's hooded stare. His cheeks were pink from either exertion or embarrassment, but she did not stop to care. She could feel the empty space behind her hand where his testicles should have been, but ignored it. She opened her mouth and traced his tip with her tongue, making him jump and hiss. Boldly she encased his flesh with the warmth of her mouth, using every tip she had ever read in Cosmo. She had been with a few men in the past, but had never done anything as intimate as what she was doing to Jasper. She had never felt that overwhelming desire to give another person pleasure, above even her own comfort. Now, kneeling on the hard, cold floor of the bathroom, she could not feel anything but arousal as she used her mouth to drive Jasper crazy. His hands moved to her head, as if he were trying to summon the strength to push her away, but his fingers weaved into her hair as she used her teeth along the ridge of his head. A feral growl sounded through the room, causing a flood of moisture to converge in Alice's panties. She was thankful that she was still wearing them or else there would have been a puddle under her when she was finished. A whimpering moan from above her tore straight through her and made her realize there still might be.

Jasper began chanting nonsense as Alice used more and more suction against him. His legs trembled and his hands fisted in her hair as she brought him closer to the brink of euphoria. He tensed suddenly and a sense of victory sliced through Alice as she realized she was going to make him come. He called her name several times before he pulled away from her mouth and pointed himself down towards the floor. Alice watched in rapture as his face contorted in ecstasy as his orgasm overtook him, unable to tear her eyes away. Jasper slowly caught his breath, and looked down at the woman who was still kneeling at his feet, her eyes wide and glassy, her cheeks suffused with color.

"Wow." Alice whispered as she accepted his offered hand and he pulled her to her feet. He glanced down to make sure they did not step in his spunk, but stiffened immediately as he realized there was nothing on the floor. Alice followed his worried gaze and took in the pristine floor, finally realizing what Jasper's problem was.

"You had your retroperitoneal lymph nodes removed baby." She whispered as she pulled his chin so he faced her.

"What are you talking about?" He breathed, still wondering what the hell had happened to him.

"You can't umm…ejaculate anymore." Alice said, usually unflappable but caught off guard at her naked honesty in reference to Jasper's manhood.

"WHAT!" Jasper shouted as he pushed her away till she was at arms length. It felt like another limb was taken off his 'man tree.' He knew his semen had been destroyed with the removal of his nuts but he though he would still be able to spew something out when he came. Now as he stared down at his sorry excuse of a cock that could not even managed to squeeze out a few drops of cum, he wanted to crawl into a hole and die. He was brought out of his pity party by the strangled sob coming from Alice. She was staring down at her feet as tears caressed her cheeks. He really needed a hole now that he had made her cry.

"Shit Alice, baby. I am so sorry. This has nothing to do with you. I never paid any attention to the doctors when they talked about sex stuff cause I figured that part of my life was over. I never knew that you would come along with your sexy heels and mind-blowing mouth." Jasper said as he cradled her against his naked chest and rubbed her back. Her tears slowed and she pulled away from him so she could look at him.

"How did you know what was going to happen?" He asked as he wiped away the last traces of her distress.

"I made sure I asked your doctor about everything before we left. It was pretty embarrassing, but I wanted to know what to expect so I did not push you too hard. Now I am glad I knew about it because otherwise I think you might have us headed to the emergency room to see where your jizz went." Alice said, trying to laugh through her residual heartache at the way his face looked when he realized what was happening.

"You knock me on my ass at every possible turn you know that little girl? I have never met anyone as amazing as you. Now how about we try and turn that frown upside down and get you horizontal on that bed so I can have my way with you." Jasper kidded, stowing away his disgust and anger to be dealt with later.

"No Jasper, I wanted to do that for you." Alice said, trying to deflect his hands. Since she had never participated in oral sex with a partner, she had never experienced it either and she was petrified. Jasper released her shoulders and stalked towards her, making her move backwards until her spine came in contact with the wall, trapped.

"Baby, I can smell you from here, and if I don't get a taste of you soon, I won't be held responsible for my actions." Jasper whispered as he ran his hands up her ribcage and grabbed roughly at her breasts. Her breath whooshed out of her lungs as her mind completely halted. Jasper pulled her from the wall and towed her back into the bedroom, the tub, still full of water completely forgotten. He pushed her down onto the soft bed and landed stealthily above her. He ran his nose down the length of her neck, making sure to kiss and suck at her fragrant skin at every chance. He eased his hands under her to unclasp her bra and pulled it slowly from her body, as if he were opening a long awaited gift. His mouth fell open as he gazed at her. Her breasts were fuller than her body should have allowed, but while they would be more than a handful for most men, his abnormally large hands fit them perfectly. Her hardened nipples pressed against his palms as he squeezed them gently, a moaning sigh coming from above him. He lowered his mouth towards her flesh, making sure to catch her eye just before he covered her pink tip with his tongue. Her cry pierced the silence of the room as he laved and sucked at her responsive flesh. Moving further down her body, Jasper stopped to investigate her delicate navel, which had a surprising silver barbell pierced through it. He tugged on the jewelry with his teeth before plunging his tongue into the cavern beyond. Jasper had to hold her down as her hips flew off of the bed in reaction to his ministrations.

"Just wait till I get to the best part baby." Jasper breathed against the firm surface of her abdomen as he snuck his tongue under the waistband of her panties. Alice's head was thrown back against the pillows, her eyes shut tightly. Her hands were fisted in the sheets that lay under her as if she were worried she would grab onto him or push him away. As Jasper's fingers pulled the lacy fabric of her panties down her legs, she whimpered and squeezed her thighs shut, nervous for what was to come.

"Open your eyes and look at me." Jasper demanded, his voice deeper than normal. Alice was helpless to do anything but comply as she stared down into the relentless blue of his eyes.

"Now, don't you take your eyes off me. I want to see your face when I make you come." He breathed as he pried her legs apart and set each of her thighs over his shoulders. He looked like a starving man settling down at an all you can eat buffet. He wasted no time as he ran his tongue over her, learning the places that made her cry out and the ones that made her moan. He used his fingers when his tongue got tired, but as she got closer and closer to her climax, he clamped his mouth over her, wanting to taste her ecstasy. She did as he commanded and never once took her eyes off of him as he brought her wave after wave of pleasure. Finally as she felt her body falling off of the highest peak, her eyes shut tightly as her neck arched back and Jasper's name was the only thing on her lips.

He crawled up the bed, pulling the blankets with him and covered them both. Their hearts were both still racing from their shared moments of pleasure. Jasper curled around Alice and placed a gentle hand against her lower abdomen where his child was resting, and knew that if he never awoke he would have gone out a very happy man.

()*()

Bella climbed the stairs of the Cullen's house, dreading the conversation she was going to have to make. She had asked Carlisle what he thought she should say as far as revealing what had happened with Emmett in the restaurant. She did not want to lie to Edward about what Emmett was doing, but she also knew that Emmett had taken her into his confidence, and she did not want to break that. Carlisle suggested she just give Edward the bare facts, and tell him if he needed more information then he needed to talk to his brother. That way Emmett could be the one to explain to Edward how he nearly ruined his marriage and owed everything to Bella.

Bella could see the light shining under Edward's door, so she knocked quietly. Her summons went unanswered, so she knocked again. When that garnered no response she quietly pushed the door open. The room was empty. She looked towards the French doors which lead onto a small balcony, but they were shut tight with the drapes drawn. A groaning sound brought her attention towards the bathroom. Hesitant to disturb him, she quietly walked towards the half opened door until another grunt and the sound of the water brought her up short. Had he fallen? Was he hurt? With those questions in mind Bella raced towards the bathroom door and pushed it open further so she could glance inside.

Edward was standing with his head under the water, his hair pushed back away from his face as the fluid drifted over his body. Bella could not tear her eyes away from him as she watched the muscles in his chest contract and relax again and again. Her eyes drifted over the sculpted plains of his chest and abdomen before she finally realized what the sounds were. His hand flew over the erect shaft of his manhood over and over. Bella could see that even his exceptionally large hands could not downplay the size of his penis. Her eyes were glued to the flexing of his forearm as he stroked himself again and again. Bella shifted restlessly in the doorway as foreign sensations began rushing through her, congregating in a pleasant hum in her lower abdomen. His mouth opened again letting fly a harsh grunt as his palm made a pass over the tip of his shaft. Bella could see the veins that traveled up and down his penis and had an irrational desire to trace them with her tongue. Edward's body suddenly started to tremble and his rhythm faltered as streams of white flew onto the shower floor. Had Bella been any further away she would have missed hearing her name mixed among the explicatives that issued from his mouth as he came. But she had heard her name clear as day, and the thought of him picturing her as he pleasured himself was too much.

She slowly backed out of the bathroom and wandered back downstairs. She sat in one of the hardback chairs in the front living room, intent on waiting a few minutes and then trying to talk to Edward again. Bella had not counted on Esme wandering in while she was waiting. Esme was a wise woman. She had raise three children and had her fair share of intimate experiences to understand what the flushed cheeks, sweaty palms and obviously racing heart meant when she saw Bella sitting in the living room. Deciding to play it cool, Esme plopped herself down in the companion chair next to Bella and just waited.

Bella shifted nervously next to Esme, as she sat silently. She was sure that Esme could tell what Bella had just witnessed with her weird mom voodoo and was just waiting for her to say something. Her nerves escalated as the silence continued until Bella could take no more.

"I'm sorry. I can't believe I did that. I really had no idea what he was doing. I know I should have left but I did not want to disturb him, er interrupt him. I'm so sorry." Bella rambled as she twisted her hands in her lap. Her face was flaming red and her palms were covered in nervous sweat as she waited for Esme to call her a perv and kick her out of her house.

It took Esme a few seconds to realize what Bella was talking about. Then she finally figured out what Bella had walked in on. She could tell that Bella was upset with herself for being a voyeur, but what Bella did not realize was Edward felt for her. She knew that if Edward had known Bella was watching him, he would have been far from embarrassed, especially since it seemed that Bella had enjoyed the show.

"You silly girl, don't worry for one minute. You said he did not know you were there right?" At Bella nod she continued. "Then there is nothing to worry about."

"But, he said my name." Bella whispered.

Esme pondered this for a minute. It was obvious that Bella was helpless as far as relationships went, having no maternal role model to help her. She decided that the straight forward approach was the best choice.

"Bella do you find Edward attractive?"

Bella nodded shyly as her cheeks blazed.

"Do you enjoy spending time with him, even when you are not doing anything but sitting in the same room?"

Again Bella nodded.

"Does your body react to him?" Esme asked quietly, knowing she was toeing the line of 'too weird to be asked by the object of your affection's mother.'

"Yes." Bella whispered silently.

"Darling you realize those are all normal and healthy things right? You are attracted to Edward and obviously if he is thinking about you while he pleasures himself, he is attracted to you as well." Esme said, cringing as the visual popped into her head. She would need a lot of wine to get rid of that one.

"What happens now?" Bella asked quietly, her wide eyes gazing at Esme as if she held all the answers, which she did. She was a Mom of course.

"You need to sit down with him and talk things through. I know you have been having a hard time dealing with the upcoming change in your schedule with your job starting soon, but I think if you are both honest with each other about your feelings, everything will work out." Esme said, praying that they would be able to overcome their insecurities as a couple and work things out.

"Thanks Esme. I really don't know what I would do without you." Bella said as she rose from the chair and gave Esme a hug. Tear sprung to Esme's eyes as she realized that all the girl needed was someone who would listen to her and treat her with respect. She would kick her son's ass if he ruined things with Bella.

**Umm, yeah. Anyone else think finding Edward whacking it in the shower really hot? **

**Send me some love!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: This is a big weekend in my house. My twins turned one yesterday and my eldest turns three tomorrow. I am already sick of cake, which I never thought I would say!**

**Dalloway5906 must be going through some major withdrawal since I have not gotten her a new chapter in almost 2 weeks. Seriously I only have one more left before I am out of new chapters. OH NO! I really think reviews might inspire me to write. **

**Thank you to those of you who did review the last chapter. SuperK4141 gets a big shout out for her idea. That is all you girl, I hope you like it!**

**We fast forward in this chapter. Please remember that or you will be really confused!  
**

**Enjoy the Rose/Emmett homecoming. I hope you enjoy our man growing some balls!**

Bella and Edward were too stubborn for their own good. Once September came, they managed to work out the complications that Bella's new job had thrown at them, but neither mentioned the fact that they had realized their true feelings for one another. Edward was worried that Bella would think his love for her came from his reliance on her for his sight. But Edward was firmly entrenched in his belief that his feelings for Bella were there because he truly knew her. He knew that while she loved oranges she hated the taste of tangerines. He knew that her left eyelid drooped lower than her right when she was tired. He knew that, although she tried not to, she had cried during every Disney movie they had ever watched together. No, Edward Cullen knew he loved Bella Swan because of who she was, not what she could do.

Bella also was fearful as to how her declaration of love would be taken. She came from a very meager background. Her father had been on her constantly to find a job because he was not able to support both of them on his salary from the Police office. Of course if Charlie stopped dropping $15 twice a week for his Vitamin R addiction, there might be some more money lying around for groceries and bills. Bella knew how it would look if suddenly, the girl from nothing, professed her love for the poor blind Cullen boy. She could care less how much money was in Edward's bank account. She wanted him for the kindness in his heart, the power of his fingers as they trailed over the ivory keys of his piano, and the gentle way he treated her, when he could have very easily ignored her. No, Bella Swan knew she loved Edward Cullen in spite of the money vesting in his portfolio.

But neither Edward nor Bella had been able to garner the courage to explain their true feelings. Bella started her new job and the pair had worked around her exciting new schedule. She really felt like an adult as she dressed in the button-down shirt and skirt ensembles' that Alice had helped her pick out. Bella felt that she was too big to be wearing such a short skirt, but the widening of Edward's eyes the first time he saw her in her work attire made her cheeks flush and had her sending a thank you text to Alice. The mornings still belonged to Bella and Edward, but her afternoons were filled with the common complaints of 5th and 6th graders. Bella heard everything from silly girl fights to an overweight student who had used diet pills to try and lose weight. She had sobbed into Edward's chest after that meeting, recognizing herself at that age in her student. Edward reassured her that she was the best person to help these students, because she had been through it herself and come out a better person because of it. Bella returned to school the next day, her confidence buoyed by Edward's words and had a very productive and encouraging meeting with the student and her parents.

It had been four months since Bella had started her new job and everything was going wonderfully for Edward and Bella, except for the longing they each felt to reveal their feelings to one another.

()*()

"Jasper, did you get me those olives yet?" Alice all but screamed from her place in the bathroom. Jasper had learned that pregnancy cravings were not only real, but could be brutally disgusting. As Alice sat perched on the toilet, peeing for the hundredth time that morning, she had a sudden craving for olives. Thankfully they had a stash of them in the pantry but she did not wait to be done to demand them. Jasper cautiously reached his hand through the crack in the door, the precious jar of black olives sitting on his extended palm. Alice, being absolutely oblivious to most people's sense of privacy, grabbed his hand and yanked him into the room, mid stream. Jasper tried to look anywhere but at Alice as she struggled to get the jar open while balancing a wad of toilet paper in her mouth.

"Why don't you just wait till you're finished to open them?" He asked quietly, his eyes trained on the trees out the window.

"Jasper, look at me." Alice demanded after spitting the paper onto the floor, and as always when Alice demanded something, Jasper was quick to comply.

"How are you possibly going to help me bring our child into this world if you won't even look at me while I am sitting on the toilet?" She said, as with one final grunt she managed to get the lid off of the olives and shoved her hand into the jar, moaning as the first salty orb slid into her mouth.

"Now, how about you hold this jar while I wipe and then you can help me get off this toilet." Alice said nicely as she released the olives and finished up. Jasper set the jar down on the counter so he could have both hands to help Alice. She was only in her eighth month, but Alice was overwhelmingly uncoordinated with the additional weight of her belly. The couple had decided to keep the sex a surprise, but Alice had a sneaking suspicion that the baby was a boy. The nursery was done in green and yellow stripes, with both pink and blue accessories on hold at the baby boutique just waiting till the gender was revealed.

The pregnancy had been a breeze so far, with Alice only suffering mild morning sickness and back pain in the first few weeks. Now, with only four weeks to go, she was hesitant to even sit down for fear she would not be able to get back up by herself. When you are barely over five foot, trying to fit a seven pound baby inside of you is a monumental task. Jasper had been a hero through the entire ordeal. When Alice said jump, he not only asked 'how high' but also 'can I get you anything while I am up there?' The pair had decided to get married soon after their 20 week ultrasound when they were actually able to see the 3D pictures of their child. It made it real to both of them that a part of Jasper would go on regardless of his life expectancy, and they wanted the child to have his last name. Alice became a Whitlock in a small ceremony in the Cullen's backyard with only her family present. Jasper had called his parents and asked them to come, but they did not understand why anyone would want to marry someone who only had a few months left to live. Alice held Jasper that night as he sobbed out his anger and disgust and vowed that his child would only know love, no matter how short his time with it.

Now, with the nursery done, the hospital bag packed and Alice getting bigger every day, the only thing left to do was wait. Jasper had been doing his best to keep his declining health from Alice, scheduling his doctor's appointments when he knew Esme was taking her to the spa or when she was spending some time with Emmett. He had no idea how he was going to tell her, but he knew that he would not be able to hide it much longer.

The night started out innocently enough. After dinner, Alice asked if he minded rubbing some of the vitamin E oil on her belly. She had been hysterical when she first found a stretch mark, and since then had been all but bathing in the oil. Jasper relented, even though the repetitive motion caused his joints to ache. He went into the bathroom to get the oil and run it under some warm water so it would be soothing for Alice. He started at his reflection in the mirror and wondered how Alice had not noticed his decline. His once flushed skin had turned gray and sallow again. His hair, which had grown back with bouncy blond curls, was limp against his skull. Dark circles hung under his eyes and he had lost nearly all of the weight he had put back on in the past 8 months. While Alice glowed from within with the power of the life growing inside of her, it looked like Jasper's life was being pulled away from him more each day. He vowed to tell her tonight about his new prognosis.

Entering the bedroom, he felt the oil drop from his hands at what was waiting for him. Alice was spread out across the bed, her body bare. They had fooled around during her pregnancy, but Jasper had been one of those nervous fathers who was always worried if they had sex he would poke the kid in the head, no matter how many times Alice and the doctors had refuted it. Now, watching her tiny hand stroke up and down her side, stopping to caress her nipples, Jasper knew she was going to try and push his buttons to get him to relent.

"You know Jasper, they say that sex can bring on labor. The doctor said the baby was measuring full term when I was there today. There is no reason why we can't try and coax this little guy out early."  
Alice hummed as both her hands cupped her ample chest, pushing her breasts together, causing saliva to pool in Jasper's mouth at the sight.

"Alice, you know how I feel about this…" Jasper started but was interrupted by Alice's fist pounding against the mattress.

"I don't care what you read on that stupid urban legends website, there is no way you can hit the kid with your dick. Now get over here and make love to me." She demanded, and as always, Alice was granted her request.

()*()

Emmett was a complete mess. He had just returned from his morning ritual of running with Bella. After she saved him from making the biggest mistake of his life, they had become closer. He knew she was not looking to lose weight, she only enjoyed the freedom that running gave her. They took to the quiet streets early every morning with the slap of their sneakers the only noise. They were each lost in their own thoughts, but found that it helped to share that time together. He only hoped that he would be able to continue their morning habit after Rose returned. Now, closer to afternoon, he had cleaned the house twice, even washing the curtains and vacuuming the couches. He had made all of Rose's favorite dishes and then threw them all out for fear that the sight of food would freak her out. He had no idea what to expect when he picked her up at the airport. She had been gone for almost nine months.

She had asked him to come out after she was there for three months. She said her counselor said she needed to speak to him before she could really make any progress within herself. Emmett had been quick to jump on a plane and waited patiently in the waiting room until he saw a familiar flash of blonde hair. He had jumped out of the chair so fast the thing flew over backwards as he launched himself at her. He had lost nearly 15 pounds in the three months they had been separated and was also newly unemployed, since he was not able to manage dealing with her absence and continuing to work. She was 15 pounds heavier and had gained some insight as to why she treated others the way she did. The joint sessions had gone well and Emmett stayed for nearly a week before Rose told him that she would try and make it home by Christmas.

Christmas came and went and Rose was still heavily into her treatment. Emmett had no idea what could have been so wrong that it would take this long for her to get better. Since the night Bella had helped him save his marriage, he had tried not to drink. Christmas night found him passed out drunk under the sprawling Christmas tree he had set up in their living room, presents to Rose tossed haphazardly around him. He sobbed hysterically as he opened the one gift that Rose had sent via UPS for him. She told him to keep her gifts at home and she would open them when she returned. As he tore the brown paper off of the gift, he saw it was a journal. Hope he would be able to gain some insight as to what was going on with her, he dove into it.

_My darling child,_

_You have no idea how hard it is to write this letter. My therapist says that by getting my feelings down on paper, I am less likely to take my heartache out on others. I can't imagine that this will actually work, but I am willing to try anything. I have wanted to be a mother since the day I realized how terrible mine was. I was 12 and she had just bought me my first pair of grown up jeans. It was barely a month after she spent $50 on them that I struggled to get them buttoned. Looking back I realize that at 12 I was still growing, but what she saw was the money in her pocketbook slowly dwindling down, due to me. If the jeans had gotten shorter, she would have been fine. But the fact that they were too tight, well that was something that I could control. She made sure that I knew from then on, if I could not get my pants buttoned, I would be wearing my brother's to school. It only took one day traipsing through the school in boys sweatpants to teach me that lesson. My mother instilled in me the belief that no one will love you if you are not perfect. _

_I wanted to bring you into this world to teach you that imperfection if perfect. _

_Your daddy is an amazing man. He loves me, even though most days I go out of my way to treat him like crap. He takes the brunt of my self-hate and does so with a smile. I have no idea why he has stayed with me so long. I was a bitch to all of his friends in high school, including his siblings. I have ruined most of his family gatherings by throwing a fit about one thing or another. Do you know I once made him leave Thanksgiving dinner at his parent's house because they forgot to put my apple pie on the table? Simple mistake and all I would have had to do was go into the kitchen and get it. But no, I threw a huge fit about them trying to leave me out of the family and demanded that we leave. Esme and Carlisle came over to the house later that night and apologized and I stood there, acting like I was better than they were, and made them promise to treat me nicer. How dare I?_

_You were gone before you were even a flutter in my belly and it is all my fault. After some extensive testing here they have realized that my inability to carry children to term is because of all the damage I did to myself when I was starving my body. Even after I found out I was pregnant with you, I still continued to starve myself, knowing how much you needed those nutrients to grow. I am the worst kind of mother, because I could have changed. _

_I feel stronger now. I think I may be ready to go back home to your daddy and start again. I hope he will have me. I don't think I ever realized how important he is to me. If we are never able to have another child, I think knowing he will always be by my side will be enough._

_Love you forever little lost child,_

_Mommy_

Emmett had thrown every ounce of alcohol out after he finished reading the rest of the journal entries. Rose had written letters to each of their lost children, each one as heartbreaking as the next. It gave him hope, reading about how she realized that the two of them may be enough. He needed them to be enough.

Now, waiting inside SeaTac for Rose's flight to get in, Emmett tried hard to control his racing heart. Rose had told him she was completely changed. He could not wait to see her. As the arrival board flashed that the flight from LAX had arrived, Emmett wiped his damp palms on his jeans. The influx of people in the terminal meant that Rose's flight had finally finished unloading. Of course, he had to wait forever since the coach passengers were released last and Rose refused to accept his first class ticket. It seemed that Emmett was going to have to get used to the new and improved Rose.

A glimpse of blonde hair had him straining on his tip toes to see her and when the rest of the blonde head came into view he did a double take. The woman standing in front of him was indeed his Rose, but she resembled Bella more now than she did her old self. She was dressed in leggings and a tunic, her hair flowing wildly down to her waist. She was breathtaking.

She walked shyly towards Emmett, her chin tucked to her chest. It took all of his willpower not to pull her into his arms, but he realized that she needed to do this all on her own. He knew she would be anxious as to how he would take her new body, but all he could think about was the fact that she was home. After what felt like hours she finally looked up at him, tears sliding down her cheeks as she gazed into his damp blue eyes.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered and he was shaking his head before the words had left her mouth.

"I'm just glad you are home, with me." He whispered back as he brought his hand up to wipe away her tears. He made no comment about her appearance as they collected her luggage and made their way to the car. They had a two and a half hour ride home to talk, right now he just wanted to feel the comfort of having her next to him again.

"So, how are things?" Rose asked casually after they maneuvered their way out of the airport parking lot.

"Um, ok. Alice is getting ready to pop any day now and Edward and Bella are going around in circles dodging their feelings." He started and quickly realized that they had never told Rose about Alice's pregnancy. They discussed it with her doctors and they decided that it might set back her recovery to know that someone who never really had any interest in having children was able to conceive so easily.

"Alice is pregnant?" Rose asked softly, whipping her head around to face Emmett. He watched her from the corner of his eye, debating what he should tell her.

"Um, yeah. Right after you left she found her soul mate, Jasper. He is dying and they decided to get pregnant so part of him could live on with her. He should have been dead two months ago, but he keeps holding on." Emmett said quietly as his hands tightened painfully on the wheel as he waited for her reaction.

"Wow." Was all Rose said before turning her head back around to face the dark night.

Emmett turned the radio on to alleviate the tension that had settled between them.

"You could have told me you know." Rose said after a half hour of silence.

"What?"

"You could have told me about Alice and Jasper. I would have been fine with it. It is obvious that she met someone she could not live without. I think I would have wanted to do the same thing if you were dying." Rose said, her voice getting thicker as the tears infiltrated her words. Emmett pulled off of the side of the road and parked the car. He turned his body towards hers as much as the car would allow.

"You do realize you are not losing me right? I have been here waiting the entire time you were gone. I know you needed to get help. I can see that now by the way you look that there was something seriously wrong. I am overjoyed that you were able to work through this. But I need you to realize that I was here waiting like a lap dog the entire time you were gone. I lost my job because I was so utterly broken I could not even make it to work. I never ate unless Mom or Bella brought food over. In the beginning when you left I drank myself into a coma every night because it hurt so much to see your side of the bed empty. So yes, I am ecstatic that you are better and you are home and no, I am not planning on going anywhere. But I would like you to realize that as much as you needed to get better, I needed you here." Emmett finished by slamming his fist against the steering wheel and bolting out of the car. He paced in front of the hood, his body throwing shadows through the headlights. He could not believe he had just talked to her like that. But the way she insinuated that she would have been fine hearing about Alice's pregnancy drove him mad. She must not have remembered how she berated every pregnant woman she saw about how they really did not deserve to have a child for one reason or another.

Emmett heard the car door slam and slowed his pacing. He hoped that she was not planning on leaving him here. Lord knows he deserved it the way he talked to her, and not even an hour after she got off of the plane. He was surprised when she suddenly appeared in his path. She looked like an angel with the bright glow of the headlights backlighting her hair. He would never tire of looking at her.

"You're right." She said, throwing her hands up in the air.

"I'm sorry, what?" He said, completely surprised that she was not handing him his nuts right about now.

"You are right. I never once thought about what would be happening to you while I was away. I knew that we never really spent any time apart before, but I left anyway. When I sent you that journal for Christmas, I only thought how good it would feel for you to finally understand what I was feeling all of those years, I never thought about how it would make you feel. And I meant it when I said if you were dying I would want some little piece of you with me forever. But I think that I would rather be alone if you died than be forced to look at the child for the rest of my life knowing that you would never get to know it." She said, before turning back towards the car. Emmett reached forward and snagged her hand, pulling her into his body.

"I love you." He whispered in her ear as her arms tentatively came up to wrap around his back.

"I love you too." She said as she gave into her tears and sobbed as he held her.

**Well? What did ya think?**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: Hello all! I am again, overwhelmed with the response to the last chapter. I wanted to respond to some of the comments here, so you all can see them. I know I posted this as an "Edward/Bella" story and most of you are wondering when we will get to them. Patience my friends. Alice and Jasper and Emmett and Rose needed to have their stories told as well, but Bella and Edward will get their turn. I foresee this story completely revolving around E and B within 4 chapters.**

**Absolutely Cullen rocked my world with some PMs this week and I am still reeling! She is awesome and I look forward to when you know what she knows.**

**Dalloway5906 and I have been slacking on the communication, but she knows that does not mean I heart her any less. She loved one of Emmett's comments in this chapter, and I get a kick out of her enjoyment. I hope it amuses you as well. **

**I will have more at the bottom. Enjoy!**

Irina Petrov had been waiting for this day for eight long months. The Cullens were throwing a welcome home party for Rose in the guise of a belated Christmas party. The house would be open for all of their friends to come and wish Rose a joyous return. What the Cullen family did not know was that Irina had managed to sneak one very uninvited guest's name onto the invitation list. She was looking forward to watching the drama unfold.

Esme was ecstatic to have her family reunited again. She had wanted to keep the evening low key, but Emmett insisted that Rose would be more comfortable in a crowd where she could just blend in. She was comfortable in her new skin, but it still helped if she was not the center of attention. Esme had gone overboard with the decorations, thankful that Target still had some of their Christmas merchandise left after the notorious 'ebay ladies' pilfered the clearance section. The Cullens could afford to buy new ornaments and garland, but Esme figured if she saved money on some things, there was more around to be donated to the charities that really needed it.

The huge tree was decorated in blue and silver and every twinkling light was twinkling. The house looked like something out of a fairy tale, and Bella was in awe as she pushed open the front door. Esme was busy with Irina setting up the table so that there would be enough plates and cups for the hundred or so guests they were expecting. Bella was nervous about the event, but Edward assured her that he would be at her side the entire time. She expected nothing less since he would no doubt want to see all of the visitors. Bella had started to become tired of playing Edward's eyes constantly. He never pushed her to visit more often or demanded she come to events like this one. He had been nothing but gracious, and that was what was upsetting Bella.

Sometimes she could almost feel the tension vibrating off of him when they were next to each other. She was unable to tell if it was nerves or a growing distance that caused the tension, but she did not like it. She wanted to go back to the days when they would laugh and talk for hours about everything and nothing. She wished she had the courage to tell Edward about her feelings, which had only gotten stronger over time. Bella knew now that whatever the outcome, she would only ever love one man.

Edward could feel the strain in their relationship as well. It felt like the words he wanted to speak were always on the tip of his tongue, but he could never force them to roll off. He wanted nothing more than to be able to tell Bella that he loved her more with every passing day. He wanted to tell her that he had never met anyone who captivated his every thought the way she did. He wanted to kiss her until they were both dizzy with pleasure. He could feel something pulling them together any time they were too far apart. His pulse soared when their hips bumped together when they walked or when she would draw patterns on his palm while they were watching a movie. He felt like a caveman, always wanting to claim her as his.

Little did Edward and Bella know that Esme had been plotting to get them together for months, after watching the days pass without either of them doing anything about the attraction. Tonight was the night for all of her careful plans to come into fruition.

()*()

""Damn it! Jasper do you think you could help me for a minute?" Alice yelled from deep in her closet.

"I swear to God Alice, if this is just another rouse to try and get me to have sex with you, I'm out. I did some research you know. The reason sex is supposed to bring on labor is the prostaglandins that are in semen, except I don't produce semen so stop trying to get me to have sex with you!" Jasper shouted as he came strutting into the closet with his hands covering his eyes. Alice had been very randy the last few weeks of her pregnancy and Jasper felt like a stud at this point. A very useless, tired, fading stud.

Alice broke out into giggles at the sight of her big man covering his eyes against her possible nudity. She was also surprised to hear him use so many technical terms, although she was going to miss him calling it jizz, spunk and her personal favorite, man butter. She was devastated that she could see the disease taking him from her and the only way she found to deal with it was trying to connect to him as much as possible. She felt bad about seducing him, but she did not want to lose him without having the experience of making love with him. And just like everything else in their short relationship, it had been perfect.

"No Jasper, I'm decent. I just need some help getting this dress zipped. We need to be there to help Mom get things ready before the guests arrive."

"Don't you think this is a little much for Rose to be dealing with right after she gets back? I think we should have at least gotten together as just the family to see her. Emmett said she looks really different right? What if someone gets smashed and says something nasty?" Jasper said, his sensitive side coming out to protect a woman he had never even met, but heard horrible things about.

"Emmett said she would be fine and we just need to trust him. As long as none of us are the ones to call her names, we should ok." She said as she smoothed her dress down and turned towards Jasper. She adjusted the lapels of his suit coat and unbuttoned another button on his dress shirt. She could feel the frailty of his body beneath her hands and had to bite her lip to keep the tears at bay. As if knowing Momma could use a pick me up, the child in her womb chose that moment to start tap dancing. She pulled his hands to her belly and watched his eyes light up as they always did when he felt their child moving inside her. She knew he always worried he would not live to see her like this. Now she was feeling guilty because even though they had made it this far she wanted more, much more.

"Are you up for this tonight?" She asked casually after their little one settled back down.

"I'll be fine. If I get tired I can always crash in Daddy C's study." He said, his cocky smile drifting across his features.

"You know he hates it when you call him that." Alice reprimanded, but could not stop an answering smirk from breaking out.

"I know, why do you think I do it?" Jasper responded as he tugged her out of the closet and towards the car.

()*()

Everything was in place for Esme's plan. She had Bella folding napkins right under the entry way and in T-minus five minutes Edward would be coming in to find her. Her hands were shaking as she watched the action from her hiding place in the hallway. Edward came right on time, his hands linking with Bella's as usual. Esme prayed that he would be as observant as always and … yes, he saw the mistletoe.

Edward saw the sentimental greenery hanging from the doorway and silently debated whether or not to act on it. Bella looked amazing. She was wearing her typical work outfit, a skirt and blouse, but she had taken her time with some make up and somehow managed to get even more curls in her hair. He wanted to make sure the photographer took many shots of her this evening so he could frame them and put them on his walls. Her lips had some kind of shiny pink gloss on them, and without even thinking about it, he dropped down his head and brushed his lips against hers. He could hear her indrawn breath and the thrumming of her heartbeat, or was it his? He had never felt anything as soft as Bella's lips against his own. His free hand migrated to the nape of her neck and his fingers tangled in the smooth curls. His senses were overloaded by her presence, her scent, the feel of her under his hands and lips, her taste. He wanted nothing more than to be able to devour her.

After what felt like hours he pulled away, his tongue coming across his lips to capture her taste. He slowly opened his eyes and saw her cheeks flushed, her delicate pink tongue trailing across her own lips and her eyes still shut tight.

"Bella?" He whispered, praying he had not just made a monumental mistake.

"Hmmm?" She answered.

"Are you ok?" He asked, bringing his hand from her hair to cup her chin in his hand.

"Ummm." Was the non-answer she gave this time.

"I would appreciate it if you could verbalize your feelings a little bit cause I am really starting to freak out over here." Edward said, his voice getting higher as he did indeed, start to freak out.

"That was wonderful Edward." Bella said softly as she finally opened her eyes and gazed up at him. Her pupils were dilated as if she was drugged, and she did feel drugged, on Edward. "When can we do that again?"

He threw his head back, laughing at all of the time they had wasted.

"As soon as possible." He said before lowering his mouth to hers again as Esme jumped up and down in the next room.

()*()

"We don't have to go if you don't feel up to it." Emmett said quietly as he watched from his perch on the edge of the bed as Rose perused the offerings of her closet. She had been home for a week and in that time, together with Emmett, she had done a complete makeover on her wardrobe. Gone were the sexy size fours and the revealing tops. In their place were sturdy but sophisticated size tens that made her look glamorous but alluring at the same time. Emmett did not miss the booty hugging jeans and low cut tops at all. He was more excited to catch glimpses of the Promised Land as she shifted and moved instead of in your face cleavage.

"It will be fine Emmett. After everyone gets a glimpse of my new rockin' body everyone will go about their business." Rose said as she tossed her hair over her shoulder and bent over to look at the shoes that lined the closet floor. She thanked whoever decided to keep her feet the same size even though the rest of her had expanded.

Emmett felt the now familiar tightening in his pants as he watched Rose move around the closet. He bit back a groan as she bent over to finger a pair of four inch heels before tossing them back down and moving on to another pair. She was killing him with the no touching rule she had implemented since she returned. She wanted to make sure that he was completely comfortable with the changes she had undergone while she was away before they delved back into intimacy. Right now Emmett was going to have to delve into a cold shower if she did not stop bending over.

Another toss of her hair and this time a deep knee bend to look at shoes had the groan spilling from Emmett's lips as he threw himself back on the bed.

"What's wrong Em?" Rose questioned worriedly as she rushed towards the bed. One look at the lower half of his body had her laughing.

"Oh, I see." She giggled.

"Do you? Do you see what you are doing to me with all that bending and hair throwing and picking out shoes that will make your legs go on forever?" He ranted without removing his arm from his eyes.

He jumped a mile as he felt a warm hand wrap possessively around his distended package.

"Is this for me?" She asked shyly. Emmett pulled his arm from his eyes and gazed at her lovingly.

"It has always been for you. There has never been anyone else." He said vehemently before begrudgingly, he reached down to take her hand off of him.

"I don't mean to push you baby. I know you need time to get used to everything around here. It is just hard for me because you look so good and it has been so long and since I have been unemployed there has not been much for me to do but tug the monkey." Emmett admitted.

"Maybe I'm ready." Rose said quietly as she knelt down on the bed next to when Emmett lay supine.

"No. I don't want 'maybes.' I can wait until you are 100% absolutely ready." He said as he reached his hand down to adjust his still throbbing shaft. Rose's eyes followed his motions and as her pink tongue came out to wet her lips, Emmett swore he came in his pants.

"Maybe I'm not ready for the whole shebang, but I think I am ready to fool around." She said quietly as her hands moved down towards the hem of her shirt. Without warning she pulled it up over her head and tossed it away. Emmett was like a man possessed as he grabbed her by the arms and threw her down on the bed. She giggled until she saw the look on Emmett's face. She had seen him obsessed over a football game or famished as he looked over the Thanksgiving spread, but never had she seen him look so ravenous. Chills followed the path his eyes took as they meandered over her body. Since she gained the weight at a normal pace she did not have stretch marks to mar her alabaster skin. A faint pink bloomed across her cheeks and down her chest as she watched Emmett's ribs rise and fall faster and faster. She wanted to cover herself, but knew that if Emmett's reaction was anything to go by, he was thoroughly enjoying himself.

"Can I touch you baby?" Emmett asked, his voice deeper than she had ever heard it before. She nodded as she wet her lips, causing him to growl.

Emmett ghosted his fingers across the smooth expanse of her upper chest. He marveled at the way her body had grown. She was still perfectly proportioned and as he closed his hand over her silk cover breast, he found that she fit him better than she had before. There were no hard edges to her now, she was all soft and smooth. His hands pulled roughly, uncontrollably at the fabric that covered her, needing to see all of her and taste all of her. Her back arched off of the mattress as he tore her bra from her body. He paused to look at her face to make sure she was ok, but the panting breaths and flushed cheeks showed him she was fine. He bent his head and nuzzled his nose against her straining rosy peak. His tongue snuck out to tease her nipple and she damn well thought she would swallow her own tongue. His mouth closed over her responsive flesh and sucked hard as his hands tugged and rolled the other crest. She was writhing beneath him, her hands tugging wildly at his hair.

"What are you doing to me?" She moaned as she felt herself approaching her climax. Never in the ten years that they had been together had she been able to orgasm without some kind of stimulation. Now she was panting and grunting beneath him as he grazed his teeth over her flesh before dragging his eyes up to meet hers. The ferocious look in his eyes pushed her over the edge and his name spilled from her lips as she came.

He laid his head against her stomach as she relaxed. He could hear the thundering beat of her heart and was proud that he had been able learn how to manipulate her new body so quickly. He could not wait to see what else he could do with just his mouth. She shifted above him and he raised his head to look at her. Now it was she that looking like she could eat him. She grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled it up over his head. She pushed against his shoulder and he sprawled out on the bed. Her hands went to the button fly of his jeans and tugged each one free from its hole. She could see his flesh peaking out through the opening and her mouth went dry as she remembered her husband so rarely wore underwear.

"How long has it been since my hand touched you Emmett?" Rose asked.

"252 days and like 7 hours." Emmett responded breathlessly as he watched her pull his jeans down his hips.

"That is way too long don't you think?" She hummed as he sprung free from the confines of his jeans and bounced against his abdomen. While Rose had gained weight, Emmett had lost some and he found some added length in places that could always use more length. Rose stared agape at the differences she found in her husband as her hand reached out to touch. Emmett tried hard to keep his noises to himself, but the difference between her soft, delicate hand and his rough masculine one was ridiculous and that was all his body had felt since she left. Her hand drifted up and down his shaft, barely making contact with his skin. She bent down and her tongue snuck out to catch the drop of arousal that had escaped his tip. His hips flew off the bed at the contact of her warm flesh and he gripped the comforter tightly in his hands to stop from thrusting himself into her mouth.

"God I love the way you taste." She moaned as she trailed her tongue up and down, bathing him with licks. She finally enveloped him entirely in her mouth, her years of bulimia causing her to have a nonexistent gag reflex. He could not suppress the thrust this time, but her groans and whimpers told him she enjoyed feeling him lose control under her. He knew he would not last long as her tongue fluttered against his shaft while her mouth continued to move up and down. He tugged on her hair to signal his eminent loss of control but she gazed longingly up at him from under her lashes and sucked harder, triggering his explosion. Nonsense flew out of his mouth as his release flooded Rose's mouth. She made sure she missed nothing before releasing him and crawling up his body to lie beside him.

"I love you." He whispered against her hair after he finally caught his breath.

"I love you. Now we better get ready for this party." She said as she jumped up off the bed, her breasts bouncing with the motion and Emmett's anatomy responded to the sight. "Well, maybe after round two." Rose said with a giggle.

**A/N: Ok, before you flame me. Yes, Rose went from a size 4 to a 10. She was away for 9 months. It is more than reasonable that she could have gained 35-40 pounds at a healthy rate in that time. She needed to be anywhere from 140-165lbs for her height (5'9) and be at a healthy weight. Next chapter is a big one!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: Not Mine**

**A/N: Hello all! I am so excited to be bringing you this chapter today. This is one of the many that has been in my head from the start. I hope you will still be with me when we get to the bottom.**

**We are almost at 250 reviews and I am blown away. I try to respond to each and every one, but I am not nearly done with chapter 17 yet, so I have been using all my free time to work on that. **

**I have suddenly realized that in just a few months I will have a 3 year old, 2 18 month olds and a newborn. I will have 3 in cloth diapers. I need a drink – oh wait, can't have one. This sucks. Send me a review and make me feel less shitty. **

**Dalloway5906- you keep me on track and I could never hate the player, only ever the game. The girl got her shirt today and LOVES it! She is excited to see you guys at the little man's birthday.**

**Ok – I'll be waiting down below.**

Bella and Edward had been holed up in his room for nearly an hour. After sharing their first kiss under the mistletoe, they found their hands could not be stilled. Edward wanted to discover every single place that made her sigh and gasp and giggle. Bella's own fingers were entranced by the thickness and texture of Edward's hair and were hesitant to move onto other parts of his body for fear she would wake from this dream. They sat twined together at the edge of his bed, their heavy breathing the only sounds in the room. When they finally started to hear noise from below, signaling that the party had commenced, they ruefully pulled apart and took their time adjusting their appearances so no one would know what they had been doing. Edward spent more time than he needed to adjust Bella's knee length skirt. He just could not help sliding his hands up her satiny smooth thigh as he looked up at her from his perch on the edge of the bed. His nose was level with the tempting buttons of her collared shirt, and he knew if he just leaned forward, he could pop open that stubborn button that was hiding her breasts. As if knowing where his dirty mind was going, Bella gave his hair a sharp tug, bringing his mouth up to where hers was waiting for him. They sprung apart as they heard Alice's loud voice announcing her arrival from below. As Edward stood, Bella moved back only slightly which allowed their bodies to rub against each other the entire way up. She suppressed a moan as her nipples rubbed against the lapels of his jacket. Anchoring his hand in her hair, he urged her face up towards his and with one last lingering kiss whispered the word 'soon' against her lips.

Edward held Bella's hand tightly as they descended the stairs, their entrance catching the attention of most of the partygoers. Esme was practically glowing as she watched Bella gazing up at Edward and the triumphant smirk that was firmly placed across Edward's face. Finally she thought, all three of her children would be matched with their soul mates. Alice and Jasper had arrived minutes earlier and as wonderful as Alice looked, that was how run down poor Jasper was. Esme could almost see his body giving up and as much as she fought with Carlisle about their plan for his future, she had to admit it might be better for everyone involved.

Bella and Edward mingled through the party, the hand that was splayed across her lower back feeling like a mark of possession. Bella had never been happier as she smiled at strangers and made banal small talk. Having finally made the rounds, she excused herself to find something to drink, but only after promising Edward she would return soon. She left him talking to Irina and an associate of his father's as she headed towards the kitchen. Bella would never have thought to enter Carlisle's office, but the hacking cough coming from behind the closed door sounded familiar. She eased the door open and could not stifle her gasp as she saw Jasper sprawled out on the couch, his crisp white handkerchief spotted with blood. She eased into the room and shut the door behind her as she cautiously approached Jasper. His face was beyond white, nearly translucent and dotted with sweat. She sat down next to him and the only recognition she got was the slight falter to his ragged breathing.

"Jasper?" She said as she placed her hand on his forehead to check for a fever. His skin was waxy and scorching hot.

"Bella, do you think you could find Carlisle for me?" He breathed, before even that tiny effort sent his body into a coughing fit again.

"I really think I should get Alice as well." Bella said, trying to comfort him the best she could while he continued to cough.

"No!" He shouted between coughs, and she understood he would not want her to see him like this. Bella waited till he had quieted before heading out into the party to search for Carlisle. She found him holding court in the kitchen. Thankfully she was able to pull him aside without making a scene.

"Jasper is in your office. He looks really bad and asked me to find you." She said quickly and watched as his jovial countenance faded.

"I really hoped that he would change his mind about this. I understand that he wants to protect Alice, but I don't think he realizes how tenacious Cullen women can be." He murmured quietly as he led the way towards Jasper.

In the few minutes Bella had been gone, Jasper had gotten worse. He was now doubled over as cramps wracked his body and blood poured copiously from his nose. Carlisle rushed towards him, grabbing a box of tissues off of the desk as he tried to staunch the flow of blood. Jasper raised his unfocused eyes towards his father-in-law.

"Its time." He whispered before his body went lax.

()*()

Rose sat stiffly in the passenger seat, hesitant to go into the party. She knew that while she was not as small as she had been, she was still a healthy weight and looked good. If the googly eyes Emmett had been giving her all night were any indication, he liked her new look very much. She was not worried about hearing others talk about her weight gain, she was stronger now and could take their comments. She worried how Emmett and the rest of the family might react to someone's thoughtlessness. Emmett opened her door and crouched down next to her.

"You ready my beauty?" He asked as he extended his hand.

"As I'll ever be." She answered as she allowed him to pull her from the car and tuck her against his side. The stairs had never looked as ominous as they did now, but she steeled her resolve. There were people in there she needed to apologize to. She needed to make things right.

The cheers started the minute they opened the door. Esme was there in a flash to embrace her, and Rose had to bite back the tears that filled her eyes. She had treated Esme so poorly, always hating the fact that she was such a supportive and caring mother to Alice, Edward and Emmett while Rose's own mother was such a disappointment. Now, caught firmly in her arms, Rose realized that if she had only allowed her to, Esme could have been a mother to her as well. She whispered an apology to Esme before they parted and Rose was shocked to see Esme wipe away some of her own tears. She gripped Rose's face firmly in her hands.

"You have nothing to apologize for. I have loved you like my own from the day Emmett brought you home. I am so happy you can finally realize that." Esme said before releasing her back into Emmett's waiting arms. Rose saw dozens of the Cullen's friends waiting to welcome her home, but when Edward came forward she was surprised to find him alone.

"Where is Bella?" She asked as he gave her a gentle embrace.

"She headed out to find a drink a while ago and must have gotten waylaid. You know how some of Dad's friends can talk, especially to a beautiful woman." Edward said as color tinged his cheeks. Rose wondered what had changed between them in the long months she had been gone, but hoped that she would be able to hear such good news from Bella's own mouth after they made amends. Rose caught a glimpse over Edward's shoulder of Carlisle coming out of the kitchen with Bella hot on his heels. She wondered what was going on, but knew she could not break away from the crowd to go and see right now.

Rose was passed around from one pair of arms to another. Her nerves were just about gone when she found herself face to face with one of the Cullen's many accountants. She had never liked the way Royce King looked at her. Emmett always told her he was just a harmless leech and to ignore it, but she felt there was something more lurking behind those piercing blue eyes. Now as his cool gaze roamed her body she felt the same disgust she always had and wished Emmett was there to diffuse the situation.

"You sure have packed on the pounds. I'm sure Emmett is not complaining after not getting any for so long, he would probably take anyone at this point. And what is that old adage – 'more cushion for the pushin'?" He smirked as he let his eyes linger on her substantial cleavage.

"Ah, Mr. King, I was just looking for you. It seems that the family has suddenly realized we will no longer be needing your services. I do hope your records are in order because I did hear mention of an audit before we change accountants. You might want to scurry along and make sure all of the decimal points are in the right place. I would hate to see you get in trouble with the IRS." Edward said casually, appearing from nowhere, as he wrapped his arm around Rose's shoulders. Royce turned slightly green before abruptly turning on his heel and stomping like a petulant child towards the front door. Rose turned her tear filled eyes up to Edward's unseeing ones. She could feel his bright green gaze on her and wondered what he would say when he finally got a look at the new her.

"Are you ok?" He asked quietly.

"Yes, thank you. I guess I'll have to get used to that kind of reaction from people now." Rose said softly before trying to extricate herself from Edward's hold. He held her firmly in his grip as he shook her gently.

"You listen to me Rosalie Cullen. You are beautiful now, inside and out. If someone can't see that then they are not worth your time. And no one should be able to talk to you like that."

"Bella has done some wonderful things for you Edward." Rose said as she leaned up on her tip toes to kiss his cheek. He nodded shyly as he turned to grab his drink off of the table behind him. He had just taken a sip of the tart and sweet Coke when Rose whispered in his ear.

"When are you going to make an honest woman of her?"

The beverage flooded his nasal passages as he absorbed what Rose had said, burning the delicate flesh. He coughed and sputtered as she patted him on the back, trying to hold in her laughter. He finally waved her off as he clutched a napkin against his mouth and nose, his eyes flooding with tears. He listened to her walk away and he wandered back into the living room, in hopes that he would be able to find Bella. He jolted when he felt someone grab onto his coat sleeve and pull him towards the steps. He could barely smell anything after the soda contaminated his nose, but he knew there was only one person that could be leading him upstairs and Rose's comment had started him thinking.

()*()

"Bella do you think you could go find Emmett for me, I think they are here." Carlisle said tremulously after taking Jasper's pulse. His chest was rising and falling rapidly and she could see that Carlisle was having a hard time getting the blood to stop oozing from Jasper's nose.

Bella walked quickly out of the office and scanned the room. She could see Rose and Edward talking and was surprised to see Rose's new figure. Bella thought she looked wonderful and could not wait to have time to talk to her later. She spied Emmett heading into the dining room and all but ran to get him before he saw all of the food. If he had a glimpse of the spread Esme had laid out, she would never get him out of there.

"Emmett, I need you." She said breathlessly. And, because she asked, he followed without question. Emmett gasped when he entered the office and saw Jasper unconscious on the couch. Carlisle looked up at the sound, terrified that it was Esme or Alice. He could not stop the relieved smile from splitting his face when he saw his oldest son.

"Emmett, can you please help me get Jasper to the car?" Carlisle asked as he packed up his black bag and threw on a coat. He opened the French doors and let the cold January air into the room.

"Where are you taking him?" Bella asked as she watched Emmett pick Jasper up as if he weighed nothing, which at this point was pretty accurate.

"He had come to me a few months ago with the decision to enter a hospice facility before the end so Alice would not have to suffer through all of this alone. I begged him to change his mind, told him they could move in here and I could help them get through this together. But he is a stubborn ass and would not take no for an answer. I have already called and they are waiting for us."

"Where is it?" Bella whispered quietly, awed that Jasper would think of protecting Alice this way, but hesitant to think of what she would do when she found out.

"It is in Port Angeles. We should be fine on the ride there, I gave him a sedative to help with the pain, so he should sleep. I'll call Alice when he is settled in. Please don't say anything to her until I call. Just play dumb if she asks you anything." Carlisle said and with a swift kiss on her forehead, followed Emmett out into the dark.

()*()

Bella walked around in a daze after Carlisle left. Emmett came back inside and together they cleaned up the office. He gave her a reassuring hug before heading back out to find Rose. Bella wanted nothing more than to be able to find Edward and relax for a few minutes, but he was nowhere to be found. She was just getting ready to head upstairs when Alice grabbed her arm and pulled her into the powder room under the stairs. It was a tight fit with Alice's enormous belly, but she closed the door and turned on Bella.

"You will not believe what I heard!" She yelled.

"Alice I am standing right next to you, no need to shout. What did you hear?" Bella replied, her eyes traitorously filling with tears as she watched Alice caress her belly. This child would never know its father.

"I heard that you and Edward kissed. And then I heard him defend Rosalie and she was actually nice to him. And then I … hey why are you crying?" She said as she finally pulled herself from her own head and noticed Bella fighting back tears.

"Nothing, I'm fine. It has just been an overwhelming day." Bella said as she tried to keep her face blank. Edward had told her time and time again that she was a terrible liar. She hoped Alice would be able to buy the fib this time.

"Nope, that's not it. Tell me." She demanded as she set her fists on her hips.

"Nothing is going on Alice, I promise. How about we go and see if Esme needs any help." She suggested and tried to push past her.

"Oh my God, it is something serious. What is it?" She all but screamed, making Bella cringed back against the wall. The door suddenly flew open to reveal Emmett standing protectively in the doorway.

"What is going on in here?" He said quietly, not wanting to attract any more attention than they already had with the shouting.

"Bella is refusing to tell me what is going on. I am getting really angry." Alice pouted as she stomped her foot. Thinking back on it, she could not tell if she felt or rather heard the pop, but she could definitely feel the water that trailed down her leg. She looked down in horror at the puddle that was slowly accumulating under her.

"Oh my God, my water just broke. Emmett get Jasper and Dad." Alice whispered as she maneuvered to sit on the toilet. Emmett stood stock still as he stared at the amniotic fluid on the floor. What should he do? Her husband was on the way to a hospice facility to die and their father was with him. Bella shoved him out the door and closed it behind her after promising to find Esme.

"You need to call them, right now. Jasper needs to be there with her for this. Tell them to go to Forks Community right now. We will meet them there. And then send your mom in there, Alice needs her. Go Emmett!" Bella breathed as she headed out to try and find Edward. She ran head first into Irina as she came down the stairs.

"Have you seen Edward?" Bella asked breathlessly. Irina's usually unexpressive face morphed into an angelic smile as she told Bella she had seen him head up to his room a few minutes earlier. Bella thanked her and headed up the stairs as Irina started to laugh behind her.

()*()

"Keep your eyes closed. I just want you to feel." She whispered as she closed the door behind them. Edward was curious as to why Bella wanted him to keep his eyes closed, she knew one of his greatest pleasures was to look at her. He felt her push him back towards the bed as she removed his jacket, her hands then got busy with the buttons of his shirt. His breathing accelerated as he realized what she was doing. They had clumsily explored each other over their clothes earlier, but now he understood what she wanted. He could not wait to be able to touch her silky smooth skin and feel her curves. She got his shirt unbuttoned and spread it open, running just her nails across his skin. He wondered when she had stopped biting her nails, but was too wrapped up in the sensation to remark on it. He fell hard on the bed with her insistent shove and he bounced once, laughing tightly as he felt her straddle him, keeping her body high above his. His hands itched to run up her thighs as he had earlier, but he kept them where they were, clenched tightly in the comforter at his sides. He could feel her warm breath against he cheek and the slight pressure of her lips against his skin. He tried to breathe her in, but the multitude of different perfumes from the party goers and the lingering burn of the soda muddied his senses. Finally her soft lips claimed his and he could not help but have his hands come up to her hips. She jumped and pulled his hands away from her body before he could even appreciate her.

"No touching unless I tell you to." She breathed in his ear as her tongue came out to trace the edge of his lobe. He groaned beneath her and she shifted her hips slightly against the growing bulge in his pants. He wondered how she learned these techniques, but the sounds of her clothes hitting the ground distracted him. She leaned forward again to kiss him and he felt the hardened peaks of her nipples against his bare chest. He moaned into her mouth and writhed under her as she broke the kiss and sat up once again. Every morning when he woke up hard and aching he would go into his shower and think of how her breasts would feel in his hands, his mouth. Now she leaned forward and he could feel the slight brush of her flesh against his lips. He opened his mouth and his tongue latched around one turgid nipple. He groaned as he opened his lips wider to take more of her flesh inside the wet heat of his mouth. He was sure he would have ripped a hole in the comforter by the time they were done, his fingers were that tightly clenched in the fabric. He heard a gasp from above him at the same time he heard his name being called from across the room. His eyes flashed open, only to be met with complete darkness. How could that be? He was touching Bella wasn't he?

()*()

"Edward?" Bella croaked from the doorway. She had not bothered knocking, because really, what could he be doing that he would not want his girlfriend to see. When the light from the hall slanted across the bed, she could have died from shock. Edward was lying, shirt undone on the bed with a topless blonde grinding down on him, one of her breasts clamped tightly between his lips. At the sound of her voice he opened his eyes and whipped his head around blindly, finally settling his gaze towards where she was standing. The blonde smiled smugly at her as Edward pushed her off of him and rushed towards the door. She could see scratch marks all down his chest and his cheek and lips were covered in slut red lipstick. The evidence of his arousal was still glaringly apparent as she looked down at his pants while he tried to button his shirt.

"Bella, I thought she was you." He breathed, trying to calm himself as he realized all this time he had been touching someone else.

"Oh come on Edward, don't lie to the poor girl. After all how could you confuse the two of us? She must have 40 pounds on me." The blonde said and Edward snapped his head around at the sound of her voice.

"Tanya?" He growled.

Bella had heard enough.

"I came up here to tell you that Alice's water broke. Rose is bringing the car around." Bella whispered before she turned and started to walk away. Edward blindly reached for her hand and she cried out as he caught her.

"Please, let me explain. She told me not to look." He said as he stared at her devastated face.

"Edward, you want to explain?" She pulled him into the hall towards the giant mirror that hung at the top of the steps. Pushing him in front of it she pointed at his reflection, the sight of _her_ lipstick on his skin making vomit bubble up in her throat.

"This is what I will always see now when I look at you. I come up here to tell you your niece or nephew is about to be born after taking care of Jasper all night, and this is what I find. How can you explain Edward? She is right, we are completely different. Could you not smell the difference, feel the difference? I can't even stand to be near you." She breathed before dropping his hand and taking off down the stairs. She had not let go before he had seen the tears in her eyes. He dropped to his knees and buried his head in his hands. What had he done?

**A/N: Aw shit, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. This was going to happen all along. You knew Irina had an evil plan. I promise the heartfail does not last too long. Still love me?**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: Not Mine**

**A/N: Hello all! This is coming to you a bit early since I got some really wonderful reviews this past week. Here are some examples:**

**Tanya- bitch**

**Edward - Set up**

**Bella- hurt**

**Jasper - dying**

**Alice - popping**

**Esme - hosting**

**Carlisle- driving**

**Rose - settled**

**Emmett- sweet**

**Irina - so fired**

**think that is what I got from this chapter...**

**great one ! ~ Edward's Eternal**

**AND**

**Serious heartfail in that one near death to my beautiful Jasper. Tanya and irina pure evilness you set it up so well him losing his sense of smell buy filling his nostril with coke, her not wanting him to look at her and him not able to touch her. The only thing would be her voice how did not recognize her voice or was she just really quiet and he really horny and excited to finally take the next step. You are a evil genius in your brilliant plot. I love that Edward stuck up for rose against the accountant. Alice's water breaking took the cake on the really fucked up day. ~ lovedwardalways**

**I tried very hard to respond to every review – but if I missed you know I did read it and it meant the world to me. We got 36 reviews for the last chapter and are only 14 away from 300. You rock my world.**

**Thanks so much to freakyg2520 and GoldenPhoenix 12 who will be keeping me in line with their expertise. I owe you both big time!  
**

**Major tissue warning for this one. Sorry but you knew it was coming.**

**Dalloway5906 has been depriving me of my fuckhot Emmett in a foreign country and I am pissed. She is living it up at a wedding this weekend, but I expect a new chapter by next weekend. I mean it!**

"Hurry up, oh please for the love of all that is holy, hurry up!" Alice panted as Emmett half-dragged half-carried her into the living room. He had finally gotten a hold of his father and they were turning around on the 101 to get back to Forks as soon as they could. Emmett was concerned about the state Jasper would be in when they finally arrived, but he was trying to stay optimistic. He was going to be an uncle by the end of the night.

Bella had finally returned downstairs after trying to locate Edward. Emmett and Esme could tell that something was terribly wrong, but Bella waved off their concerns and tried to help Alice relax while they waited for Rose to bring the car around. Needing the distraction, Bella volunteered to get Alice's hospital bag out of the car. Alice was nothing if not prepared, she had duplicate bags located in the car, the house and even in her father's office at the hospital. She had her meditation music ready, a picture of her and Jasper to focus on and a sweet smelling blanket and gown for their little bundle when they brought him or her home. She also had a digital camera in each bag so there would be plenty of pictures to document the occasion.

Pushing open the front door, Bella was surprised to see that many of the guests had already left. Nothing clears a party like bodily fluids. She walked down the stairs and onto the circular driveway. The family had all parked in the rear of the house so there would be plenty of spots for the guests. Alice had traded in her sports car for a more sensible SUV with the impending arrival of the baby. It was still easy to know it was Alice's since she had it customized in a bright yellow color. She reached into the back seat to get the bag, but was halted by the sounds of shouting coming from the side yard. Not wanting to be caught eavesdropping, she grabbed the bag and walked quickly back the way she had come.

"God damnit, you listen to me right now. I want to know how you knew to do that." Bella heard Edward shout. She stopped in her tracks, the bag falling limply from her grasp.

"I don't know what you are talking about. I merely did something we both wanted. I could _feel_ how much you wanted it." Tanya responded. Bella was still unable to see the pair, but their voices were carrying easily on the cold night air.

"You have no idea what you are talking about. The only reason I responded at all was because I thought you were Bella. Now who told you about what was going on between me and Bella?" Edward demanded.

"Edward, baby, please stop deluding yourself. It was clear that you wanted me. You just needed someone to show you that you can do better than that girl. Even though I can't make you see, I am sure I can make you feel." She purred and Bella wanted to pull the skank's hair clear out of her head.

"Tanya the only thing you make me feel is nausea. I love Bella. It is not because her touch allows me to see. As a matter of fact, I think it is in spite of the fact that we share that special gift. I love how kind and sweet she is. I love that she cares about my family, even though some of them have treated her poorly at one time or another. I love that she is still here tonight helping my sister even though I have treated her terribly. I … I can't tell you how horrible I feel that she walked in on that. I can only imagine how it must have looked. Yet she is still here, getting ready to help my sister bring her child into this world. No Tanya, there is no possible way that I could ever do better than Bella Swan." Edward finished before she heard his hesitant steps coming her way. She knew if she just stayed silent he would walk right past her back into the house and would never know she had just heard his declaration. Common sense told her that she was not ready to forgive him, even if he had been tricked. But she was not going to listen to common sense right now. Right now she was going to listen to her heart, which told her that she loved him as well.

Bella bent over and picked up the bag. Her feet took her cautiously towards the visibly trembling man who was walking up the stairs. She had just crossed the driveway when a flash of white flew in front of her. She stepped back just in time to avoid colliding with the vehicle as Rose jumped out of the driver's seat.

"Careful! We don't need to be heading to the ER and labor and delivery tonight." Rose laughed as she opened the door so Bella could stash the bag in the car. Bella peered through the tinted windows of the car, but Edward had already gone back inside the house. She figured it would be better to talk when they were not about to be inundated by Alice's screams. Rose slammed the door shut and turned towards Bella.

"I know that an apology can't make up for the years of hateful things I have done and said to you. I just hope that you can find it in your heart to let me try and make things right. I can't thank you enough for taking care of Emmett while I was gone. In all of my self-absorbedness, I never even thought about how he would react to being here alone. I hope that maybe in time I could join you guys on your morning runs." Rose said, as she extended her hand to Bella. The stress of the evening finally caught up to Bella as she threw herself at Rose and started to sob. Rose was taken completely by surprise at Bella's actions, but her arms wrapped around her anyway. She held Bella as she cried, able to catch a few words here and there. She had heard enough to piece together what had happened between Edward and Bella that evening and to say she was pissed would be an understatement.

Their reunion was cut short as Emmett and Esme brought Alice out onto the porch. Bella quickly pulled herself from Rose's embrace and wiped at her eyes. She did not want to give them anything else to worry about. Alice was still asking where Carlisle and Jasper were, and no one had given her any information. If she did not have to concentrate so much to get through her contractions, she would have been fighting for information like crazy. But as it was, she needed all of her faculties to just remember to breathe through the pain. She was fairly inappropriate when the contractions ended though.

"Where is Jasper? He was going to coach me through the pain with his awesome yoga breathing. It is amazing how long that guy can hold his breath." Alice said between contractions. You could see she was dying for someone to ask how she new about his breath holding ability, but no one was in the mood to hear about his muff-diving techniques.

"Aww come on guys you need to lighten up a little…" Alice started to kid, but her words were lost as her body contorted when she was hit with another contraction.

"I thought labor lasted forever for first time moms." Bella whispered to Esme as they loaded Alice into the passenger seat.

"You know Alice, she always has to be the best. I would not be surprised if this kid came out fully dressed." Esme laughed as she sat down in the back and shouted for Edward. Bella's heart dropped as she watched him walk carefully down the front stairs. He had changed and was now wearing jeans and a hooded sweatshirt, a very un-Edward like outfit. Bella could see he was barely holding himself together, and she hated that she could just say three words to him and all would be right. But she just could not bring herself to give in so easily. Even if he had no conscious fault in the whole Tanya debacle, a part of her heart was still broken after watching him with her.

With Emmett's help he pulled himself into the rear seat and buckled his seatbelt. Emmett looked cautiously at Bella. He was going to let Rose drive, so he could either sit in the way back next to Edward or next to Esme. He knew something had happened, and the death stares Rose had been throwing the nearly catatonic Edward meant she knew exactly what had occurred. He wanted Bella to be comfortable, but he also knew from experience that ignoring problems only made them bigger. Bella knew what Emmett was doing and although she wanted to sit down next to Esme and relax, she also knew that the entire car would know something was really wrong if she did not sit next to Edward. She grabbed Emmett's hand and pulled herself into the back of the SUV. Her bare thigh brushed Edward's hand as she sat and his eyes flashed for a moment as he was granted sight. She pulled herself away from him as far as the seat allowed, but she could not escape his sightless stare.

Edward was shocked that Bella had decided to sit with him in the back of the SUV. He knew Rose would drive but he just assumed that Emmett would be the one sharing the back seat with him, not Bella. His chest was tight with longing as he held his hand, palm up, on the seat between them. He was praying that she would at least grant him the ability to look at her while he apologized again. He felt the bench seat shift as she turned towards him, and then finally the electric jolt when she grabbed his hand. He started hard into her eyes, the only sound in the car being Alice's panting breaths. He was hoping that she would be able to see his absolute disgust and horror at his actions. He was hoping she would be able to see how deep his affections ran, see his love for her. He wanted her to know he would spend every minute of the rest of his life making this up to her.

Bella could see each and every one of the things Edward was hoping to convey through his gaze. She could also see the defeat and fatigue that lined his eyes. She wanted nothing more than to throw herself at him and declare her love, but knew that now was not the time or place. What she needed to do was explain where his father and Jasper were so he would be prepared for what they would be dealing with when the arrived at the hospital. She leaned towards him and whispered in his ear.

"We will talk about this later. Jasper is dying, like right now. Your dad was taking him to a hospice center without Alice knowing about it. They are going to meet us at the hospital, but he is not doing well. I don't know if we should tell Alice about it before hand or not."

Edward's eyes drifted shut as Bella's words bounced around in his head. Jasper was dying on the same night that his child was being born. What kind of fucked up karma was that? He knew that his sister could handle most anything life threw her, but she was not her usual self at the moment as she was apparently squeezing the shit out of their mother's hand. Esme was not one for cursing, but her tiny daughter was exuding such extreme force on her hand the words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them. Emmett erupted into laughter as the contraction finally passed and Alice relinquished the death grip she had on Esme's hand.

"I'm so sorry Mom. I read everything I could about childbirth, but they really downplayed the pain. As soon as we get to the hospital, Jasper can relieve you of your hand-holding responsibilities." Edward realized that he would not be able to stay quiet about Jasper's condition.

"Alice, you need to know something about Jasper." Edward said quietly, exuding his own death grip on Bella's hand. She squeezed back reassuringly as Alice turned in her seat to look at him.

"What?" Alice growled.

"Um, Jasper is really sick. Dad was actually taking him to the … err… hospital when your water broke. You need to be prepared for him to be in really bad shape." Edward finished. The car was eerily silent as they watched Alice's face contort into agony. They were unable to tell if she was being hit with another contraction or if the seriousness of Jasper's condition was taking its toll. Bella hid her face into Edward's side as she imagined what it would be like to lose the love of your life and give birth to your baby all in the same day. Alice might soon find out.

()*()

Carlisle paced anxiously in the ER waiting room. He had already used his privileges to check Alice in and get her a room so he could let Jasper lay down. He was still heavily sedated but he should be waking up soon. Carlisle only hoped that he would be lucid enough to get through the birth.

Squealing tires sounded from the ambulance bay and he rushed out the doors to see Rose and Emmett's white SUV. He rushed forward with the wheel chair and opened the passenger door. He reached inside to help carry Alice out but was stunned when she reached out and smacked him right across the face. He looked up at her in shock, his hand cupping his abused cheek as he watched fat tears roll down her cheeks.

"How dare you try and keep this from me." She sobbed as he leaned forward again and wrapped his arms around her trembling body.

"I'm sorry baby. He wanted it this way." He whispered as he felt her body tense with the pain of another contraction. He lifted her with ease and set her in the chair. Esme followed close behind while Emmett, Bella, Edward and Rose stayed in the car. They were silent as Rose parked the car and turned off the ignition. They were all guilty of the same kinds of lies that Jasper kept from Alice. They all wanted to try and save the other pain by keeping things to themselves. Now they realized, as Alice had, that it would only eventually hurt the other person.

Emmett and Rose were the first to leave, allowing the keys to dangle from the ignition in case they needed to turn on the heat. They walked hand in hand towards the hospital, excited to meet their new niece or nephew. Bella and Edward sat still in the SUV, their hands clenched tightly together with Bella still snuggling into Edward's side. Now that there was silence, the words each of them needed to say were deafening in their ears. Edward wanted to explain what Bella had walked in on and tell her his true feelings. Bella wanted to give him a piece of her mind and then make up. Neither spoke.

The driver's side door suddenly flew open, bathing the interior in light. Emmett's shocked face appeared in the opening.

"Man, you will not believe what Mom just told me. She got a call from her friend Elizabeth who stayed at the house to help clean up and apparently she just walked in on Irina and some blonde girl named Tanya arguing. From what Elizabeth said, Tanya is Irina's niece and they had some plan to get into your pants tonight. I guess they were hoping to saddle you with a fake paternity suite or something and sue your ass for everything you're worth. Thankfully that shit did not happen, but I guess Irina was pissed that Tanya screwed it up. Mom told Elizabeth to kick them both outta the house, after making sure she got Irina's key from her. Can you believe it man? You sure are lucky they did not succeed. One new Cullen kid tonight is enough!" Emmett said with a laugh as he slammed the door shut, sending them into darkness again.

Edward was stunned as he absorbed what Emmett had just said. It was all a plan to bilk him out of money. And Tanya was Irina's niece? He was still trying to process everything when his finally noticed the strange sounds coming from Bella. She was still pressed tightly against his side, but he could feel her body shaking. He tried to push her away so he could see her face, but she only held tighter. Finally, after releasing her hand, he was able to grab her by the shoulders and force her away. He cradled her face in his palm as he looked her over. Her face was ghostly pale making her red-rimmed eyes even more noticeable. She refused to make eye contact, instead finding something particularly interesting in the fabric of his jeans.

"Bella, look at me." He whispered.

"I can't." She breathed.

"Why?"

"I… I'm ashamed."

Edward was stunned silent as he replayed her words over in his head. What could she possibly have to be ashamed about? She took his silence as a negative thing and surged forward with her explanation.

"I thought you were guilty from the start. I never gave you a chance to explain yourself. And here it was all a ploy. I should have trusted you." She whispered as her deep brown eyes finally met his.

"Bella, how could you believe anything but your own eyes after walking in on something like that? I would have felt the same way if our situations had been reversed. Never in a million years would I have thought Tanya and Irina would have cooked up a plan like this one. How devious and underhanded would you have to be to treat someone like that? I have know Irina since I was a kid, and for her to do something like this is unbelievable." He breathed as he dropped his chin to his chest. His entire family had been deceived by Irina.

"I thought you finally realized that you could do so much better than me, other than the sight thing." Bella whispered.

Edward's head whipped up violently as he grabbed both of her shoulders in his hands. Since they were not touching skin to skin, he was blind, but that did not lessen the fire in his gaze.

"You listen to me Bella Swan, I never want to hear something like that come out of your mouth again. Do you not realize how much I love you? Do you not know that I want to spend the rest of my life trying to make you as happy as you have made me? I could care less about being able to see. Yes, I would miss watching your cheeks flush when I catch you staring at me. I would miss watching the sun rise while we sit on the beach while on our honeymoon. I would miss watching you grow larger with our child. But I would give it all up if it meant experiencing those things with you… for the rest of my life." Edward said as he leaned forward and claimed her lips in a passionate kiss. Bella sighed against his lips but urged him backwards. She laid her hand on his cheek as he looked at her, confusion written all over his face.

"I love you Edward. I have loved you since the moment you first touched me. You look at me like I am the most precious thing in the world, even when you can't actually see me. You treat me like I can make a difference in this world, not just take things away from it. I want nothing more than to spend eternity in your arms." Bella said as this time she was the one to lean forward and kiss him. Edward could feel the moisture against his cheeks, but knew that Bella was crying happy tears. He vowed that those would be the only kind she would ever shed again.

()*()

Carlisle had managed to deflect Alice's questions about Jasper's whereabouts for quite a while now, but he knew his luck would only hold for so long. They had gotten her settled and with the exception of the very disturbing phone call from Elizabeth about Irina and Tanya's plan to worm their way into the Cullen's bank account, everything had gone well. Dr. Gerandy had just come in to check Alice's progress when the moaning started from behind the room dividing curtain.

"Jesus Christ Dad. Don't you think you could have sprung to get your only daughter a private room?" Alice complained as she slid off the bed and tried to yank the curtain back. Carlisle was there in a flash and held the fabric firm. Alice glared up at her father, and upon seeing the panicked look he was giving the occupant of the other bed, she knew exactly who it was. Carlisle, seeing the determined look on Alice's face, released his death grip on the curtain and allowed her to pull it back. Jasper was lying on his side with cotton plugging both of his nostrils. Carlisle had tried to keep the dressings fresh, but the blood was flowing faster than he could change them, so the white cotton was now pink. His hair, which had re-grown to a short curly mop hung limply against his head. His eyes were half open and when he saw Alice, he struggled to sit up. Alice was speechless as she watched her once strong husband try and move into a sitting position. Esme and Rose guided Alice back to her place on the bed as another contraction hit her while Emmett and Carlisle moved Jasper into the chair next to Alice's side.

"Oh my God Jasper, what is going on?" Alice whispered once Jasper was sitting as comfortably as he could. He reached forward and grasped her hand. Alice cried out softly as she felt how cold his flesh was. He felt nearly dead already.

"I'm dying baby. But I wanted to be here with you to watch our child being born. God I love you." He breathed as he dropped his head to the mattress at her hip. She brought her other hand up to run her fingers through his hair, which always helped to sooth him. The family moved into the hallway to give them some privacy.

Emmett's booming laughter surprised everyone as he was the first to see Edward and Bella walking down the hall towards them. They were hand in hand, which was not surprising, but the giant teddy bear Edward held in his other arm was a shock. Edward blushed slightly as he tugged Bella closer to his side.

"What? I thought our niece or nephew would like it." He said as he handed the stuffed animal off to Bella, thoroughly embarrassed.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked as she looked from Esme to Carlisle.

"Jasper is not doing well." Esme whispered as Carlisle tugged her into his side. She buried her face in his shoulder as she thought of the physical and emotion pain her daughter was going through. She would do anything to spare Alice this torture. But there was nothing Esme could do, Alice had made the decision to have Jasper's child knowing that he would not be there to help her raise it. She was sure that never in their wildest nightmares would they have thought that their child's birthday would also be Jasper's last day on Earth.

A tortured cry from inside Alice's room brought everyone to attention as they rushed back inside. Jasper was holding Alice's hand as her body arched up off of the bed with the force of the contraction. They could not be sure who was crying louder, Alice through the pain or Jasper having to watch Alice endure it. Dr. Gerandy elbowed past the family as he pushed Alice's gown up to check her progress.

"She is crowning, so anyone who does not want to see this child enter the world, I suggest you hightail it outta here." He joked as the nurse at his side handed him gloves. Emmett turned slightly green and took the doctor's advice while Carlisle headed towards the head of the bed to give Alice some privacy. Rose and Esme were poised at Alice's legs in case they needed to help her when she pushed. Bella turned towards Edward, who was staring at Jasper and Alice. Even through the pain she had not taken her eyes off of him. The cotton that was plugging his nose had long since lost its absorbency and blood was leaking down his face. Edward could almost feel the love and devotion pouring out of them as they got ready to welcome their child into the world. He dropped Bella's hand in respect to Alice, but stayed firmly against the back wall, wanting to be one of the first to see his new niece or nephew.

"Ok Alice, on the next contraction we are going to push." Dr. Gerandy said as Rose and Esme each took a leg.

"Jesus Alice, would it have killed you to shave your legs? This poor kid is gonna get rug burn on the way out." Rose joked as she tried to lighten the mood. Alice cracked a smile, but other than that her eyes and concentration did not leave Jasper's face. His breathing had gotten progressively rougher with each passing minute and Carlisle was now standing behind him with a bracing hand on his shoulder.

"Push Alice." The doctor called as the nurse counted down from ten. Both Rose and Esme cringed as Alice's poor bladder was compressed as the baby made its way down the birth canal, causing her to pee all over the doctor and nurse who were stationed at the foot of her bed. Bella laughed quietly since she was safely out of the way of the spray, which caused Edward to turn towards her in confusion.

"I'll tell you later." She whispered in his ear as she turned back to watch Alice give one final push and her child's head emerged.

"Great job Alice. Now just relax while I suction out the nose and mouth and then we can deliver the rest of him." Dr. Gerandy said, but Alice was clueless to everything except the slow motion of Jasper's breathing. He was fighting hard to keep his eyes open and Carlisle had to use most of his strength to keep him upright in the chair.

"Ok, one more push and you can meet your son or daughter."

Alice closed her eyes to push and when she opened them, they were met with the bright blue eyes of her son.

"It's a boy! Congratulations guys he looks great." The doctor said as he busied himself at the end of the bed. The nurse was rubbing the child vigorously, trying to get the mucus and blood off of the baby. There was dark blond fuzz covering the baby's head and Alice could barely tear her eyes from the face that looked so much like Jasper's. She finally gazed over toward her husband to find that he had finally lost the battle to keep his eyes open. He looked so peaceful that she looked up towards her father in a panic to make sure he was still alive. Carlisle nodded tightly as Jasper stirred in the chair. His breathing faltered for a moment before continuing at an alarming pace. Before Carlisle could get him back in the other bed he fell forward towards Alice. She put her face next to his and kissed his blood stained lips.

"Benjamin. I love you both." He whispered before losing consciousness.

**A/N: Don't hate me. I have not even started on the next chapter yet. Reviews will make me write faster.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: I am once again humbled by all of the reviews and alerts from the last chapter. I tried to respond to them the best I could, but this chapter took forever for me to get through and I am not completely happy with the way it came out. I do like the end of it, and yes it will continue next week exactly where it left off.**

**Super excited that some of you have mentioned me on the Twilighted forums and over at A Different Forest. Thanks to those of you who gave me the shout-out. **

**Absolutely Cullen also rec'd me in her story **_**Judgment**_**. It is a page turner and I highly recommend you go and check it out – but be warned, her bad guy is REALLY bad. **

**Please forgive my lack of medical expertise in this chapter. I tried to do as much research as I could, but there are a few things that are really difficult to find. I am using my creative license in this chapter.**

**Dalloway5906 and I will be living it up at her son's birthday party this Sunday and I am super excited to see her and her crew. Hopefully my kids will not wreck her mother's house. She finally posted Rose and Emmett getting it on last week in **_**Bittersweet**_**. Check it out.**

The room was silent except for the metallic clinking of the instruments the doctor was using. Alice looked completely composed as she gazed down at the child lying on her chest while Carlisle and two nurses tried to get Jasper settled into the gurney next to her. They started an IV and were trying to get fluids and pain medication into him as fast as possible. Bella was staring blankly between the now unconscious Jasper and the peaceful Alice, who she knew was just waiting until she was alone to fall apart. The continuous clinking of instruments brought Bella's attention back to the end of Alice's bed. Crying out suddenly, she grabbed for Edward's hand as she was hit with inspiration. Edward was flooded with sight and of course, looked right at the still exposed scene of his nephew's birth. Whipping his other hand up to cover his eyes he turned towards Bella.

"What the hell Bella? A little warning might be nice." He grumbled quietly as he tried to figure out how much time would pass before he would be able to look his sister in the eye after seeing as much of her as he just had.

"Carlisle!" Bella yelled, making every head in the room turn towards her.

"What Bella?" Carlisle asked cautiously, not sure if he would be able to handle anyone else's problems right now.

"The cord blood?" She whispered cautiously, trying hard not to let her excitement show through.

Carlisle looked blankly at her for a moment before smacking himself on the forehead and laughing.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" He laughed before bumping Dr. Gerandy out of the way and grabbing a large syringe off of the instrument tray.

()*()

After Carlisle had retrieved enough cord blood for a transplant, the room emptied quickly. They rushed Jasper up into the isolation ward so he could be prepped for the infusion of cord blood that would hopefully stimulate the production of new white blood cells to fight the cancerous cells that had spread throughout Jasper's body. Jasper's Oncologist was cautiously optimistic that the procedure would be a success, but it would still be a long road to recovery. It was possible that Jasper would have to spend at least three months in the hospital and during that time would have to stay in the isolation unit to insure he did not develop an infection.

Esme followed little baby Benjamin into the nursery so they could give him his first bath and take down those all important first measurements. Rose filled a still slightly green Emmett in on what he had missed, all the while keeping her eyes on Edward and Bella. She could see that the news of Irina and Tanya's deceit had helped Bella to forgive Edward, but she was still undecided on his fate. She needed to find a way to talk to Bella alone.

Rose got that opportunity when Bella excused herself to find the ladies room. Remembering the last time the pair had shared a hospital bathroom, Rose opened the door cautiously and watched as Bella stood at the sink, her damp hands pressed against her face. Rose placed her hand gently against Bella's back and rubbed as Bella sobbed into her hands.

"Oh my God Rose, he might actually live." Bella whispered as she pulled her hands away from her face. She looked up at Rose's red tinged eyes and saw the same carefully concealed hope.

"And everyday you will be able to see how happy they are because of something you did." Rose answered.

"It just took someone on the outside to see what was staring everyone in the face. Plus I read way too much medical fiction. Jasper still has to get through the transplant and the new cells have to grow." Bella said as she shook her head sadly. She could see how easy it would be to just imagine that everything would be fine now, but she was a realist.

"Bella, do you mind me asking how things are going with you and Edward?" Rose asked quietly, pulling Bella from her revelry.

"Um, well he apologized and said that she told him not to look and not to touch her and yada, yada, yada. Urg, I really want to still be upset with him, but knowing that Irina and Tanya planned this all out so they could trick him into thinking it was me makes me so angry. I am furious at both of them. I know he still played a part in the whole thing, but he had so many things going against him. I just want to put it behind us right now. Does that make me stupid? Should I want to deal with this before we move forward?" Bella asked cautiously as she looked up at Rose.

"I can completely understand wanting to push everything under the bed and move forward. Emmett and I did that for years until I pushed just a little too hard and all of the things I had stashed under there came tumbling out. I am not saying that this has to be a huge thing, but he needs to know how much he hurt you and what he needs to do to earn back your trust. It was even more difficult since you were just starting to see each other in a new light." Rose said, putting her months of therapy to good use.

Bella looked up at Rose, awed that the once vicious and hateful woman was now a wealth of knowledge. Bella also understood that Rose was not only talking about her relationship with Edward. For Rose and Bella to move forward, they also needed to find the time to talk about what had happened between them. Bella grasped Rose's hand tightly in her own and gave her a tight nod, hoping to let her know she understood everything she was saying. Rose let out a relieved breath as she tugged Bella forward into a sisterly hug.

"Now, let's go check out our new nephew." Rose said, automatically including Bella in the family.

()*()

"Man, look at all those tubes and wires. He looks like a science project." Emmett whispered as he gazed through the window of Jasper's isolation room. There were several doorways that one passed through before actually entering his room. The nurses that were busy around his bed were wearing masks and gowns to try and decrease the risk of bring in outside bacteria. With Jasper's repressed immune system from all of the chemotherapy and radiation treatment he had been subjected to, he was much more likely to develop an infection and the cord blood transplant needed him to be as healthy as possible so they could attempt to grow new white blood cells to fight off the cancer cells. If, after the transplant of cord blood he showed signs of new white blood cell growth, he could possibly come out of isolation in preparation to go home.

"Ugh Em, you were always the worst one when it came to acting as my eyes." Edward joked. Emmett whipped his head around to face his younger brother and was embarrassed that he forgot that Edward could not see since Bella was not there.

"Sorry man. I am so used to Bella always being here to help you out. Do you want me to give you a play by play of the action… uh never mind, they are shoving a tube somewhere a tube should never go." Emmett said, cringing and turning away from the window. He wanted to go and find Rose and check out Benjamin, but he knew that Jasper would appreciate them being here, even if he was unconscious. He had overheard his father talking to Jasper's doctor and was worried when they said the word 'coma.' He knew that lots of people never came out of comas, and this cord blood thing was a long shot as it was. His chest tightened as he imagined only getting to see his child one time. He cleared his throat roughly against the creeping emotions caused by the thought of never having any children at all, and turned back towards his brother.

"Come on Edward, let's go see how little Benji is doing."

"I really don't think that Alice would approve of that nickname. You know she never let us call her 'Ali' when she was little. She thinks that names that end in an 'i' are trashy." Edward reminded Emmett and he could almost hear Emmett rolling his eyes.

"I know that dude, but it doesn't mean I can't call him that when she is not around." Emmett said seriously as he guided Edward toward the elevator. The door whooshed open and Emmett was happily surprised to see Rose and Bella onboard.

"Hey good looking, do you think anyone would mind if we snuck outta here?" Emmett joked to Rose as he pulled Edward through the open doors. Edward elbowed him in the ribs, hard.

"You just got your wife back and from what little I have seen she looks amazing. Why on earth would you go around flirting with strangers?" Edward whispered loudly, appalled at his brother's behavior. He was suddenly inundated with sensation and light as Bella wrapped her hand around his. He glared at them as they all started laughing at his protective instincts. Rose moved forward and placed a kiss on his cheek, secretly thrilled that he would step up and defend her and her new appearance.

"Sorry man, sometimes I forget that you take everything so literal. But I am not kidding baby, how soon can we sneak out of here?" Emmett whined as he wrapped his arms around Rose.

"We need to see who is staying here with Alice to help take care of Benjamin. I have a feeling Esme is planning on staying the night, so we should be able to head home after we check up on them." Rose said as she patted Emmett on the back as one would a child.

"Good because I am starving. I hope Irina managed to pack up the food before she got booted to the curb. I still can't believe all of the stuff Elizabeth told Mom they were talking about. Do you know Irina actually bought that Tanya girl Bella's shampoo and soap so she would smell more like Bella and less like well… herself. That evil bitch thought of everything." Emmett said, shaking his head at the thought of Irina pilfering their gust bathroom in search of Bella's beauty products.

Edward was floored that they would go to such lengths to make sure that he was in the dark towards their plans. He wondered how far Tanya would have gotten if Bella had not come in when she did. He shuddered to think that his virginity could have been stolen from him.

Bella was wondering the same thing, except she was worried that now Edward would expect more from her when they finally got to the intimacy part of their relationship. From what little she saw of Tanya, the girl knew what she was doing with a man's body and her own.

Rose watched Bella and Edward avoid each others eyes as the elevator took them down to the maternity ward. She could see the wheels spinning and wanted to stop this deranged train before it left the station. She leaned forward and pushed the red 'stop' button. They all lurched sideways as the elevator screeched to a stop.

"Now look, I understand that you are new to the whole sex thing, and you have both been through a crash course today thanks to that slut Tanya. But now you need to forget everything you have experienced or witnessed. No one knows exactly what to do their first time. Emmett was like a tornado, trying to touch everything at once. He was too impatient to do anything but go right at it, so we never got to learn what each other liked. If we had spent some time together discovering each others bodies before we got to the main event it probably would have been more enjoyable for both of us. Now the next time we went at it…"

"Rosalie!" Bella shouted as Rose finally stopped talking and looked around. Emmett looked horrified that she had just pretty much told his brother and Bella that he sucked their first time. Edward was hiding behind his hand, trying to hold back the food that was threatening to work its way out of his stomach and Bella was ten shades of red.

"Oh, sorry. I seem to have lost my filter while I was away. Everything is so much harder when people refuse to just tell it like it is. I knew you were both suffering because of what that bitch did, and I thought if you had a little insight, you would not be so worried. You just need to spend some time getting to know each others bodies. You have spent months getting to know each others minds, now the fun can really start."

Bella and Edward were shocked as Emmett nodded his head, completely agreeing that his little brother needed to get his hands on Bella's goods and vice versa. Edward leaned forward and pushed the button to resume the elevator and they soon found themselves outside of the nursery. Alice was standing near the window looking at the tiny babies in their beds. Benjamin was easy to spot with his bright blond hair and blue eyes. He was very alert for only being a few hours old. Rose and Bella were instantly at Alice's side.

"How you doing?" Rose asked quietly as Benjamin started to fuss in his bed. Alice placed her hand against the glass, as if she could comfort him from outside. The pediatrician had yet to make his rounds, and they had denied Alice access to Benjamin until the doctor had looked him over.

"I think if they would just let me hold him, he would calm down. But they won't let me in there and they won't bring him out. How can they keep him from me?" Alice whispered as a tear slid down her cheek. Bella was furious. The staff had to know what was happening with Jasper, how could they keep the baby from her? She stomped off towards the desk, dragging Edward behind her.

"What are we doing?" He whispered.

"YOU are going to use your powerful name to pull some strings." She demanded as they came to a stop in from of the desk. A mousy brunette sat on the counter, her back to them. She was chatting away on her cell phone, oblivious to their presence.

"I know right? How can he expect me to just get wet at the drop of a hat? It is called foreplay for a reason. It had to come before the play." She mumbled into the phone, snapping her gum as she spoke.

"Excuse me." Bella said loudly, trying to get her attention. The girl whipped around, furious.

"Excuse me! How dare you stand there and listen to a private conversation." She said as she spoke quietly into the phone once again before sliding it closed.

"Well miss you are in a very public location, so any conversations had in said location is not considered private. And since you are wearing your id badge, it makes me think that you should be working right now, and not having any conversations, private or public. My name is Edward Cullen and I demand on the behalf of my father, Dr. Carlisle Cullen, chief of staff, that you page the on call pediatrician right now to take a look at my nephew so he can be reunited with his mother." Edward said while the nurse stood staring at him. When she had not made a move towards the phone, he leaned over the desk and grabbed it, shoving it into her hand.

"Now." He said quietly and she jumped into action.

Bella could only stare at Edward. She had never seen him so powerful. He had not raised his voice at all, yet he had the girl shaking in her boots. His cheeks were slightly flushed with the anger he felt when the girl had all but ignored his demands. He felt horrible that his sister had to endure so much today, and he was glad that Bella had been able to see a way for him to help her. He finally noticed Bella's staring and was slightly embarrassed at his outbreak. She had never seen him lose his temper.

"I'm sorry Bella. I did not mean to get that upset in front of you."

"Don't be sorry, that was really hot." Bella stammered, instantly regretting her words and turning a brilliant shade of crimson.

()*()

The pediatrician quickly made his rounds and wheeled little Benjamin down to Alice's room. They had set up the other bed for Esme, since she and Carlisle would be staying the night in the hospital with Alice and Jasper respectively. Everyone said their goodbyes to the new family and headed out to Emmett's car. The ride back to the Cullen Estate was quiet, with everyone thinking about what would happen over the next few days. Alice and Benjamin would be released, while they waited for signs that the cord blood transplant had been successful for Jasper. It would be months before the family could be together, but if it did work, they would at least have some sort of a future.

Rose and Emmett dropped Edward and Bella off in front of Bella's truck before turning towards home. They were both exhausted and wanted nothing more than to get some sleep. Bella and Edward watched as the gravel spit out from under the SUV's tires as it sped away. They stood in silence, their hands clasped tightly together, each hesitant to part ways.

"Do you want to come in?" Edward asked quietly, gesturing towards the house. All Bella could see was Tanya in Edward's bed, and knew it would be a long time before she could set foot in his room again.

"Um, no. Do you want to come to my house? My dad is working an overnight so no one is home." Bella suggested. As worried as Edward was about Chief Swan coming at him with a shotgun, the thought of separating right now was worse.

"Sure." He replied as she opened the passenger door and he slid inside. Bella had allowed him to drive several times over the past few months, and he was getting better at it. Playing 'Grand Theft Auto' with Emmett did not hurt either. While he missed the feel of Bella's slight hands on his thigh while he drove, he was much more comfortable being the passenger and watching her maneuver her massive truck. He had asked her several times why she still drove it, since she had some money stashed away but she said she hated to let it go until it died. He was going to talk to Emmett about bringing that death on a little sooner.

The ride to the Swan house was quick and he soon found her pulling him up the front steps. The house was very small and seemed to be dominated by the evidence of Chief Swan's hobbies. Fishing poles and tackle boxes were stacked on the couch while empty beer cans littered the coffee table. There was a large flat screen TV mounted above the unused fireplace and stacks of sports themed DVDs were piled against the wall. There was no sign of Bella anywhere in the house. She urged him up the stairs and down the hall to what he could only assume was her room. Once inside the tiny room, he finally felt comfortable. The walls were a muted lavender with bright yellow curtains at the windows. A full bed was pushed against the wall and the bookshelves that lined the walls were overflowing with prose and music. He sank down on the bed, releasing her hand and laying full out on the down comforter. Bella excused herself to head to the bathroom, leaving him in his Bella scented wonderland.

He wanted to do something to start earning back her trust, but he wondered where to start. He never wanted her to feel that she could not trust him. He heard her light footfalls in the hallway and sat up, turning his head towards the door. He listened to her enter the room and close and latch the door. The sound of falling clothes followed soon after as well as the zip of the shades being drawn. Finally he felt her body move towards him, until she stopped directly in front of him. He could feel her body heat against his face, and blushed slightly knowing that while sitting, his face would be level with her breasts. He tried to control his breathing as she stood silently in front of him.

Bella was trying to build up her courage. Rose pretty much told her she needed to lay herself bare in front of Edward so he would know her insecurities, but she was not sure this was what Rose meant. She had quickly washed her face and brushed her hair and teeth while in the bathroom. She sprayed herself with body spray and started back to her room before inspiration struck. She would lay herself bare for Edward, and hope that he would earn back her trust with his reaction.

Edward felt Bella's hand move lightly against his hair. His eyes fluttered closed at the heavenly feeling of her fingers against his scalp. He felt her breath against his cheek and then his ear as she leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

"I want you to keep your eyes closed and just feel Edward." She breathed and his entire body froze. He could not do this.

He grabbed at her hands and once his vision returned, gazed up at her. He could see that she stood in front of him in only her robe, which was partially open, allowing him a delicious glimpse of her skin. Her face was pink as he looked up at her.

"I can't do this Bella. I don't want to rush anything with you, and I want you to trust me enough so I can look at you when we do anything. Especially anything that involves you in nothing but a robe." He breathed as he tried to recite Beethoven's Fur Elise in his head to try and get his erection to settle down.

A lone tear slid down Bella's cheek as she pulled one hand from Edward's grasp and flicked off the light switch. The light from the streetlamps snuck in under the blinds, making the room glow. Bella's smile was bright against the dark of the room as Edward looked up at her, wondering what she was doing. She pulled her hand from his grasp only for a moment and he could hear the slide of her fleecy robe hit the floor. He swallowed audibly as she returned her trembling hand to his and used the other to tip his face up. He kept his eyes closed tight as he felt her lips glide over his cheeks and nose. She lingered with her lips on his temple, her nose against his ear. Her panting breaths in his ear had him shifting under her and his other hand gripping the comforter tightly. He could feel his palm sweating against hers. She finally whispered the sweetest words he had ever heard.

"Touch me Edward, I trust you."

**A/N: Oh am I a bitch or what. Come yell at me!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: Thank you again to all of you who took the time to review the last chapter. I did not realize how important a reviewer was until I started writing. Now, each and every one is a testament to why I continue to write. I am writing this for all of you (and maybe a little bit for me.) So you can thank yourself for this chapter, and every one to come.**

**Dalloway5906 and I had a rockin' time last weekend and now I will be going through withdrawal until we can schedule another 'play date.' It was wonderful to spend the day with her little man and sweet puddin' and of course, Mr. Dally. **

**Ummm, yeah… this takes off right where we left the last chapter. And as Dally put it… it is fuckhawt. I blame the pregnancy hormones.**

Edward sat motionless on Bella's bed. The hazy glow of the streetlight coming in behind Bella made her look like an ethereal angel. Her pale skin seemed to sparkle in the dim light. Along her face and chest, a flush had materialized, giving proof to her embarrassment as she stood waiting for Edward to do something. He could not do anything but look at her. She still had her fancy bra and panty set on that Alice had picked out for her to wear under her party outfit. The dark red demi bra and lace trim hip hugger panty stood out against her porcelain skin. Edward watched as goose bumps exploded across her flesh, his eyes following their path from her shoulders to her wrists. He could not help but to lean forward and allow his lips to follow their path, stopping along the way to lay kisses against where he could feel her pulse racing.

"You have nothing to prove to me. You know I love you." Edward mumbled, his mouth against her palm.

"I know. I want this." Bella whispered as she stepped even closer to Edward, his hair brushing against her bare belly. She had been petrified to drop her robe and let Edward see her, but she knew part of their problem was that they both were hiding from each other. This was the only way Bella knew to break through their barriers.

"Your skin is like silk." Edward said as he raised his head from her hand to place kisses against the swell of her abdomen. He could feel her try and suck her stomach in under his mouth, but ignored it. He loved the way she looked… and felt. He released her hand, so he could have both of his free to explore her. She jumped when his hands took possession of her hips, his fingers slipping under the edge of her panties. Her hands trembled as she rested them on his shoulders. His grip on her tightened as he imagined what it would feel like to have her hands against his bare flesh.

"Bella, can I take my shirt off?" The words were spoken before he even realized he had opened his mouth. Her hands moved swiftly to the hem of his sweatshirt, which was all the answer he needed. He released her for a moment as the gray fleece swept up his arms and over his head. His t-shirt followed quickly and he grabbed for her again as soon as his hands were free. She laughed at his enthusiasm but the humor died quickly as she gazed at the perfection in front of her, her fingers tangling in his hair. She had seen him shirtless several times, once when he was wet and…distracted, but those were distant memories compared to what she found in front of her. His shoulders were broad, making her think that if she lay under him, he would be all she could see. The muscles of his arms flexed as he ran his hands around her back and up her spine. She shivered as his fingertips trailed against band of her bra. His eyes flew to hers, wanting to make sure he was not overstepping his bounds. Her eyes were glued to his chest, her breathing heavier than it was before. He cautiously continued his journey upwards until his hands were splayed across her shoulder blades. He pulled slightly until her lips were within reach. Her lace covered breasts pressed lightly against his chest as he sucked her lower lip into his mouth, grazing the delicate flesh with his teeth. She shuddered against him and was thankful he had such a strong grip on her shoulders, since her knees had suddenly become useless. He slid backwards on the bed and urged her forward until she was on her knees on the bed, straddling his thighs.

Edward relaxed back against the wall as he looked up at Bella. Her hair was a silken curtain around her head, her cheeks flushed and her chest rising and falling with each panting breath. His eyes were drawn to the way her breasts bounced slightly with each exhale, his mouth watering as he imagined how they would taste. Without his permission his head moved forward, his tongue poised to find out. Before he made contact he felt her grip tighten in his hair and he looked up at her. Her eyes were hooded as she stared down at him, his lips specifically. His tongue darted out to wet his suddenly dry lips and he watched, rapt, as hers did the same. The sight of her pink tongue spreading moisture along her plump lips had him shifting under her, seeking friction for his suddenly aching erection. Bella gasped as she felt his hips move and her eyes flew to his, embarrassed to find him already looking at her. His eyes shifted down to her breasts, as if asking for permission to continue, and she nodded shyly. He leaned down, allowing his lips to brush against the flesh right above where the lace started. He could see her nipple pressing against the barrier of fabric and slid his mouth right next to the nub. Her hands were painfully tight against his hair but before he could ask if she was ok, she released a trembling moan, a sign he was taking that she was enjoying herself.

Tired of waiting, he latched his lips onto her lace covered nipple, drawing it into his mouth. Her back arched, allowing him better access as he brought his hand around to cup the neglected side. She fit perfectly in his palm and his fingers did not waste time in finding her other nipple. He nipped and sucked at her while his digits mimicked his mouth's motion on the other side. Bella's entire body was trembling as she felt Edward's warm mouth and talented fingers having their wicked way with her nipples. She knew she would never be able to watch him play the piano again without needing a new pair of panties. Her hips shifted restlessly against his thighs, seeking something, anything to stop the relentless ache that had developed between her legs. Using the hand he had buried in her hair, Edward pulled her against him, her knees moving forward so they now rested against his hips. He urged her down until she sat flush against his lap. She gasped, her eyes flying open as she felt his hardness pressing against where she was most sensitive. Their eyes met in the dim light, his mouth still attached to her fabric covered breast. Never looking away, he pulled back enough so he could grasp the edge of her bra with his fingers, moving slow enough for her to stop him. He pulled the cup down so her entire breast was exposed, the bra pushing it up enticingly. Repeating it on the other side, he finally pulled his eyes from hers as the temptation of her breasts became too much. His breath stilled in his chest as he stared down at her. It was nearly impossible to tell what color her nipples were in the faint light. He leaned down and touched his tongue gently to one peak, relishing in her taste. He curled his tongue around her nipple, using suction to draw it into his mouth, elongating it.

Bella could not tear her eyes from the sight below her. Edward had trussed her up using her own bra and she was amazed at how wonderful her breasts looked. She watched, rapt as he leaned forward and touched his oh so pink tongue to her nipple, moaning quietly as he pulled it into his mouth. Her hips moved against him unconsciously and her moan turned louder as some sensitive part of her anatomy brushed against his erection. She knew he was well endowed after watching him pleasure himself in the shower, but now feeling it under her, made her stomach erupt with butterflies. The nerves were not enough to keep her from moving against him again though. She watched as he moved from one side to the other, the air cold against her flesh when his mouth deserted her. He would quickly warm it up with his hand, not wanting to neglect either side.

Edward's stomach was tight as he felt Bella grind down on him again and again. He knew she was not doing it consciously, but it was definitely having an effect on him and parts of his anatomy. He slid his free hand from her hair down her back, loving the way her body moved further into his as his hand passed across her skin. He used both hands to palm her breasts as he attacked her slightly parted lips. He slid his tongue inside her lower lip, gliding across the moist flesh, memorizing her taste. Her own tongue began a shy exploration of his mouth, spurred on by the groans that emanated from his chest as she did. She was moving continuously now, her body searching for some peak she had never known. Edward wanted to still her movements, knowing he would not last much longer and worried how she would react to him spilling into his jeans. When her hands slid from his hair down over the tense muscles of his chest, he could not stop from grabbing onto her hips and thrusting up against her. She gasped into his mouth at the sudden change in rhythm while his tongue wrapped itself around hers. Her heart was thundering in her chest as she felt him hard and ready against where she was soft and wet. His hands were tight against her flesh, but it only brought her more pleasure to know he was unable to help his reaction to her. His grip had brought her chest against him and his dusting of chest hair was an erotic abrasive against her sensitive nipples. His body seemed to tremble under hers as his hips moved counterpoint to hers. She could feel an almost painful tightening in her lower abdomen right before stars exploded behind her closed eyelids. Her body shook and shuddered, her muscles unresponsive to anything but the rush of pleasure surging through her. Her head fell forward onto Edward's shoulder as she rode out her orgasm. She heard and felt Edward spiral into his own ecstasy below her and had regained consciousness just enough to sit back and watch him. She had never seen anything as beautiful as watching Edward climax. His eyes were fused shut, his mouth open slightly to allow his panting breaths and moans to escape. His cheeks were flushed as she felt him buck up beneath her. His hands were painfully tight against her hips, but she would wear any bruise as a badge of honor after making this man come undone.

Embarrassed at the thought of being caught watching him, she buried her face in his chest and waited till their breathing had slowed. His hands moved to her shoulders, effectively caging her body against his. He dropped lingering kisses on the sensitive skin of her neck, inhaling deeply as he tried to memorize the smell of her, post-orgasm. Her body was still quivering slightly as her breathing came back to normal. He shifted under her and grimaced at the wet feeling in his jeans. He wanted nothing more than to stay right where he was, but knew his situation would only get more uncomfortable as time went on. He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back, kissing every inch of skin he could as she moved. Her hair kept her face from him, but he moved it aside, wanting to see her reaction to what had happened. Her face was as crimson as her underwear as she reluctantly met his eyes.

"God you are beautiful. I did not think you could be anymore breathtaking, but I have been proven wrong." He breathed as he smoothed his hands along the skin of her arms. She gave him a disbelieving look, but he silenced her with a kiss, sweeter than any they had shared before. When he pulled away, she was as pliable as putty and he urged her onto her back on the bed. He covered her with the comforter as he tried to find his shirt, sans eyesight. Her sleepy voice behind him startled him.

"I have some of my Dad's sweat pants in my drawer if you…wanted to stay."

He turned towards her and tried to convey how much that idea appealed to him with his expression. Taking the blatant puppy dog eyes as a yes, she slid from the bed to get him the pants. She put on her robe and showed him the way to the bathroom, leaving him only after getting a guarantee that he would call her if he needed something. She rushed back into her room and changed out of her wet and sticky panties and into her favorite cropped sleep pants and a tank top. She heard the bathroom door open and rushed into the hallway to make sure Edward found his way back to her. He sighed as he looked down at her, her cheeks still slightly flushed.

"I love you."

"I love you too. Now let's get some sleep. I set my alarm for eight so we can be out of here before my Dad gets home." She said as she pulled him towards the bed. She let him take the inside since she needed to have her feet free from the covers while she slept. She snuggled against him, pulling his arm around her body. They were silent for a while, and she had almost though he was asleep. His whisper startled her.

"You know that was not the reason I wanted to come over tonight."

"I know that Edward. But I think somewhere deep down we both needed some reassurance that we could work together, in every way." Bella sighed before closing her eyes and fading into an Edward-centered dream world.

()*()

The beeping brought Jasper out of his hazy state. He tried to urge his hand to his nightstand to silence his blasted alarm, but found he barely had the energy to open his eyes. He was in a hospital room, that much he could tell. He suddenly remembered Benjamin's birth and groaned slightly as he tried to get his body cooperate with his desire to get up. He had managed to roll to his side when he noticed a humming sound above the beeping. His eyes scanned the room, finding no apparent source of the music. He grabbed at the bed controls and raised the head of the bed, looking around. He could see a glass window spanning the length of the wall opposite his bed. There, sitting in a rocking chair was Alice with Benjamin at her breast. His heart stopped as he watched mother and child wrapped up in their own little world, her humming to him softly. He wanted nothing more than to be able to be standing behind them, watching his little mouth working to get his lunch, but settled for being alive long enough to watch this. Benjamin's blond hair was visible above the blanket Alice had wrapped him in, and he was thrilled to see it was the same color as his was. He knew the little boy had blue eyes, but was hoping they would change as he got older. He wanted him to have his mother's eyes.

He wondered how he could hear her from the other side of the window and tried to call out to her to see if she could hear him as well. His voice was only a croak but her head whipped up at the sound and she sat forward on the rocker, her humming stopped. She gazed at him, a single tear sliding down her cheek as she leaned up and placed her palm against the glass. He ached to touch her smooth skin, but knew there was no way he would be getting out of this bed without help. He cleared his throat and tried to speak again.

"What is happening?" He wheezed, each breath painful.

"They are using Benjamin's cord blood to do a transplant. You need to be in isolation to make sure you don't contract any illnesses that might hamper the new white blood cells from forming. We should know if it worked in a month." Alice said as she sat back and rocked when Benjamin started to fuss, typical man, worried only about his next meal.

"Why did we not think about that sooner?" He wondered aloud.

"It was Bella who realized it might work." Alice answered quietly, once again in awe that she had been able to see what had been right under their noses.

"Is she planning on saving everyone in the world or just us?"

()*()

"Oh my God I am so tired." Rose said as she flopped down face first onto their bed, grateful that gravity helped to pull her shoes off of her feet.

"Did I tell you Edward fired one of the family's accountants tonight?" She asked as she rolled over to watch Emmett shrug out of his suit. She marveled at the width of his shoulders as he yanked off his tie and started on the buttons of his shirt. Her hands clenched against the fabric of the comforter so she would not attack him where he stood as inch after inch of tightly muscled chest came into view.

"Oh yeah? Why did he have to do that?" He responded. After several seconds of silence he looked up from his shirt to where Rose was laying on the bed. Her eyes were slightly glassy as she stared at him, her fingers fisting the blanket.

"Something wrong baby?" He asked, curious as to her reaction.

"Huh? Oh no, nothing is wrong. I was just admiring the view." She said with a smirk, still not bringing her eyes above his chin. Inquisitive, he flexed his pecs, causing them to bounce slightly. This earned him a breathy gasp from Rose and a shifting of her hips against the bed. Finally done with the buttons, he slowly pulled his arms from his shirt, one at a time. He watched her eyes widen as he was finally shirtless. He said nothing as he let his hands drift down to the button of his pants, hesitating when her tongue snuck out to wet her lips, as if she was suddenly starving. He wondered if this was what she felt like every time she did one of her strip teases for him. He hoped so because he felt amazing having her look at him like she was, as if a bomb could fall outside the window and she would be too distracted to notice.

He slipped the button through the catch and eased the zipper down. Releasing the fabric, he allowed it to fall to the ground, leaving him in just his snug fitting red boxer briefs. He swore he did not imagine the drool that accumulated in the corner of her mouth as he slowly bent down to slide off his shoes and socks, keeping his eyes on her the entire time. Now, nearly bare, he stood back up slowly and hitched his fingers under the band of his briefs, sliding them down slightly to uncover the start of dark, curly hair. He heard her whimper when he stopped, her wide, dilated eyes flying to his face.

"Why did you stop?" She whispered.

"I didn't think you had any singles on you." He teased as he stalked closer to the bed. Her eyes got impossibly bigger as he stopped feet from where she lay.

"Will you… will you keep going?" She breathed.

As an answer he pushed the fabric off his hips while he closed the distance between them, kneeling over her. He took both of her hands in one of his and drew them up over her head. He could feel her panting breaths against his neck as he stretched out over her, allowing her to feel how very aroused he was at her voyeurism.

"Did you want to play or are you too tired?"

**A/N: As of right now … this is a fade to black, unless I get an overwhelming response, then I may consider continuing Rose and Emmett's little romp. Let me know what you want!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: Thank you so much to those of you who reviewed the last chapter. I got a bunch of new alerts/favorites this week- so welcome to you newcomers! The few of you who wanted a continuation of Rose/Emmett getting busy- I am working on that little outtake now and you should keep an eye out for a PM from me later this week. If you want to get that little outtake, you can let me know.**

**Dalloway5906 had a birthday this past week and had the audacity to head to Baltimore this weekend. Needless to say she was a bit too busy to give this chapter a once over, so if there are any mistakes, I apologize. I hope you enjoyed your pink champagne Dally! Have fun in Baltimore!**

**The chapters are getting a bit shorter since I am concentrating on only one couple (or so) at a time. I hope you don't mind, but I was not going to add filler just to make them longer. **

"Oh Edward, keep going." He heard Bella moan quietly, pulling him from sleep. He slowly slid his hand up under her shirt in order to see. He did not think he was doing anything, but something had her worked up this morning. He blinked rapidly as the faint morning light assaulted his eyes. He could see that they still had another hour before Bella's alarm would go off. She shifted against him and whimpered quietly, a sad smile crossing her face. She was fast asleep.

"No Edward, don't go." She whispered, as he felt a shudder race through her body. He instinctively pulled her closer to him, wrapping his body protectively around her. He watched her sleep, not wanting to wake her, but when a tear slid down her temple and got lost in her hair, he found he could not let her stay in this sad dream world any longer. Figuring the best way to wake her up was with a kiss, he bent over and gently pressed his lips to hers. She responded almost instantly by wrapping her arms around his shoulders and bringing him closer. She was still lost in the fog of her dream and was ravenous for his kisses, hoping they would dispel the lingering sadness her vision had brought her. His quiet groan and the subtle shifting of his hips against her thigh brought her fully awake. She pulled back slowly, needing to see him, to know he was still there.

"You were gone." She breathed as she avoided his eyes, finding something interesting on the wall behind him.

"Where would I go? My entire world is right here in this bed." He answered truthfully, earning him a roll of her eyes.

"I don't see a piano in here." She remarked as she glanced around the bed.

"Ha ha funny girl. If I lost the ability to play the piano, I would be sad, but I would go on. Now if I lost you… life would be worthless." He said, pulling his hand gently through the tangles in her hair.

"You mean that?" She whispered, knowing the depth of her own feelings, but unable to believe that his ran as deep. He sat up on his elbow, gazing down at her.

"If everything in the world was gone, with the exception of you, I would still be the happiest man alive. You are my life now, and I will do anything to make sure you are happy and protected." He reached over to wipe the tears from her cheeks, praying that they were happy tears and not 'oh my God I am in bed with a psycho' tears. When she pushed herself off of the bed and into his arms, he figured the tears were a good thing.

"I love you…so much." She sighed, ecstatic to finally be able to say those words out loud.

"I feel exactly the same my sweet girl. Now how about we make some breakfast so you can get me back home before your dad catches us in bed." He suggested.

()*()

Edward slid his hand further down Bella's wrist, trying to tangle his fingers with hers. She gave him an exasperated look as she released his hand in order to shift the car into drive. It was difficult for her to drive when Edward was in the car because he needed to be touching her at all times. Over the summer it had been easier because she wore long skirts and he would be able to touch her knee, but now wrapped up in winter gear, she had much less skin on display. He was still wearing Chief Swan's sweat pants, his jeans and boxers were tucked away in a plastic bag at his feet. He had expected to feel more embarrassment when he asked Bella for something to carry his soiled clothes home in, but the flush that spread across her chest had nothing to do with mortification and everything to do with arousal. They stood in the laundry room for several minutes, sharing heated kisses as they both remembered the previous night. Edward knew that a door had been opened to them and now could not be closed. He was thrilled that he had put his plan into motion months ago. It would only be a few weeks before he could share it with Bella.

Bella had hoped to find the Cullen Estate empty when they arrived, but the black and silver Mercedes parked in the drive way put the kibosh on that. It looked like both Esme and Carlisle were home. She walked around the hood to grab Edward's hand, his suspicious plastic bag and foreign pants a red flag to any parent that something had happened the night before. Maybe they would get lucky and Edward would be able to sneak up to his room before anyone noticed. The front door flew open as their feet hit the first step and Bella cursed under her breath. Carlisle and Esme both looked exhausted but happy as they pulled the door shut behind them and started down the stairs.

"Hello you two, early morning?" Carlisle said jovially as he eyed Edward's pants and ghetto suitcase. Bella's eyes widened as she realized there was no way she could lie to Edward's parents. Thankfully Edward jumped in and answered for the both of them.

"Something like that. Where are you two off to? Back to the hospital?"

Esme and Carlisle shared a knowing look before turning back to the pair.

"Yes, we came home to shower and change and to get the house ready. Alice and Benjamin will be released later today. So far things with Jasper are looking good. He has no signs of infection and his strength has increased slightly. He was able to see both Alice and the baby through the window last night and again this morning. Fingers are crossed that we will see some signs of new cell growth in the next few weeks. Until then, Alice and Ben will be staying here, with us." Carlisle said, with a slight grimace. He remembered well the first few months of a newborns life, and was dreading the late night screaming. Edward caught his father's expression and made one of his own. He better start making some calls.

"Well, we won't hold you then. I was going to show Bella around the property today. What time will you all be back?" Edward asked casually, excited by the prospect of more alone time with Bella.

"They won't release Alice until after five, so close to dinner time." Esme answered as she tugged Carlisle off of the porch, eager to give the couple some alone time. She remembered that time in her relationship with Carlisle well, it was hard to keep your hands off each other. Hell, it was hard for her to keep her hands to herself now.

"I'll make dinner for everyone." Bella volunteered, excited to be able to do something to welcome the new family home.

"That sounds wonderful dear. The pantry is full, so knock yourself out." Esme said as Carlisle stowed her in the passenger seat and sauntered around to the driver's side.

"You know how much Alice loves your fried chicken." He said with a wink.

"Don't you mean how much YOU love my fried chicken?" Bella responded with a chuckle as he waved before getting in the car himself. Edward pulled her up the rest of the stairs and slammed the door behind them when the car drove out of sight. He pushed her gently up against the unforgiving wood and latched his mouth onto the smooth skin of her neck.

"Do you have any idea how much I want you?" He breathed. Bella was stunned silent at his aggression, but the shifting of her hips and her suddenly flushed skin answered for her. He pushed off of her and turned, throwing the bag down the hall, hoping it landed somewhere near the laundry room before pulling her towards the stairs. As they entered his room, he turned towards her, his eyes wild.

"Will you take a shower with me?" He whispered, already heading towards his bathroom. Bella froze, his hand still urging her forward. A shower? That meant naked. She was not ready for naked. He would see everything. She started shaking her head franticly, but Edward's head was down as he tried to kick off his sneakers.

"Edward?" She croaked as he continued to tow her towards the bathroom. He turned back to her, expecting to see her just as excited as he was, but she was ghostly white and still shaking her head continuously.

"No? Why not?" He whispered as he brought his hand up to cup her cheek.

"I'm not ready… for you to see me." She said so softly, Edward had to lean closer in order to hear her.

"I have already seen you, and I love everything you are. There is nothing you could show me that I will not love and worship." He said truthfully as he started to lift his shirt over his head. Her eyes widened as inch after inch of skin was revealed. When his shirt was removed, his started in on the waistband of his borrowed pants, before Bella grabbed his hand.

"What are you doing?" She cried, remembering he was bare under the pants.

"I'm showing you everything. I have flaws too you know." He joked as he shook off her hand and pulled his pants to his feet, kicking them away. He stood before her, naked as the day he was born. The late winter sunlight streamed in through the window, making his hair flush red, everywhere. He stood back away from her, allowing her to peruse him without the embarrassment of having him watch her. He trembled slightly, but not because he was shy but because he was incredible aroused knowing she was looking at him, and only him.

"This," he said gesturing to a band of scar tissue on his hip, "was from when I tried to follow Emmett into the woods when we were younger. I had no idea there was a barbed wire fence out there." He laughed tightly.

"And here," he said, pointing to a patch of shiny skin along his upper thigh, "was from when I fell down the stairs at my Grandparents house. Grandma Elizabeth's cat decided to try and chase my shoe laces. I ripped the top layer of skin right off on the stair treads." He said, as he began to shake harder when he felt Bella coming closer.

He reached out for her hand, and grabbed it, closing his eyes as he placed it against his heart.

"And here is where I will be forever scared if you ever leave me. I love you, every part of you." He whispered. He allowed her to pull her hand out from under his and dropped his head, preparing himself for her rejection. He was stunned when he started hearing clothes hit the floor. Finally she took his hand tightly in hers and placed her other hand under his jaw, tipping his face up. His bright green eyes opened slowly and met hers.

"I love you too, all of you." She said before kissing him softly on the lips and turning towards the bathroom. He kept his eyes on the back of her head as they walked, thinking it might have been the hardest thing he had every done, not looking at the silky expanse her flesh. In the bathroom, Bella only turned the low recessed lighting on, hoping to minimize her exposure. She moved towards the sink and let Edward set the temperature towards his liking. He walked under the spray of water and she was instantly reminded of when she watched him once before with water streaming down his body. She took a moment to look him over, and found he was as hard now as he was then. He extended his hand to her and she took it, stepping into the misty glass enclosure. The lights mimicked the flicker of candles as he turned her so her head was under the spray. Not able to stop himself, he watched as the water ran down between her breasts and over her stomach. If he looked hard he could see silver lines stretching across her breasts, upper arms and hips. He knew this was one of the reasons she had been so hesitant to be naked with him. All he could think was he could not wait for her to have more of them when she was pregnant with their child. She turned her back to him, embarrassed as she felt his eyes devouring her. He took the opportunity to grab the shampoo and rub it into her hair. His hands felt wonderful against her scalp and without her permission, a moan slipped out. His hands paused for a moment, and then started again, more vigorously. She trembled against him as he turned her back under the spray and used his hands to free the suds. Once the soap was clear, she turned him under the spray and did some covert looking of her own. His body was hard and tight and she wondered how or when he worked out to stay in such good shape. She knew there was a gym in the basement, but as far as she knew Edward did not go in there. When he turned his back to her, it was her turn to wash his hair. He had to bend down slightly so she could reach, and it took much less time since his hair was so short.

After he was rinsed he turned them sideways so they were each getting pelted with the warm water. He slid his hand down from her collarbones to her wrists. He brought her hands to his hips and encouraged her to move closer so their bodies were touching. They each released a shaky breath as they were finally joined flesh to flesh. His hands wrapped around her waist and anchored onto her lower back, bringing her even closer. They were pressed so tightly together, the water was pooling against their flesh, having no place to go. Bella sucked at skin of his throat, able to feel the rapid thump of his heart against her skin. His groan vibrated through his chest and into her own. His hands kneaded her flesh as his own mouth licked at the drops of water that trailed down her temple, scraping his teeth against her flesh. Unconsciously, his hips started to thrust against her belly. She pulled back slightly, and he was ready for her to flee, but she stunned him by running her hand down his chest and over the clenching muscles of his abdomen. Her eyes locked on his as she wrapped her hand around his length. The warmth of the water had nothing on the heat of her tiny hand as she began pumping up and down his shaft. She moved her hand just as he had when she watched him and his rapid breaths and wild eyes told her she was doing something right. He thrust his tongue into her mouth as she moved faster, her grip tightening. His entire body shook as he approached his climax, his lips pulling away from hers only far enough to release a guttural moan. She watched her hand move against him as he came, thick ropes of white shooting onto the shower floor. Her body felt raw and needy as she watched him, and she rubbed her thighs together restlessly.

Finally able to pull himself together, he wrapped her in his arms, kissing her eyes and nose and mouth. He wanted to reciprocate, but had no idea how to do it. Most men his age had seen a porn or two to know the general mechanics of things down there, but he was going in blind, literally. After witnessing Bella's orgasm the night before, he was pretty sure that she had not experimented with herself either. Feeling the water getting cooler, he turned it off and pulled her out of the stall, wrapping her in a big white towel. They moved into the bedroom and she left him in order to raid Alice's stash of comfy clothes she kept here. Edward did not even bother getting dressed, as soon as he heard the door close he was on the phone to Emmett.

"Is everyone ok?" Emmett barked as soon as he answered the phone.

"Yeah, Em everyone is fine. Listen I don't have long but I need some help." Edward whispered into the phone.

"Oh yeah? Is this sex help?" He kidded.

"Um, kinda." Edward answered shyly. He could not see it, but Emmett's jaw had hit the floor. Never in his life would he expect to get this kind of phone call from his kid brother.

"Ok, what's up?" He asked cautiously.

"Um, I want to do something to Bella, but I have no idea how anything works… down there." He breathed before his nerves could overtake him. He was thrilled to be doing this over the phone and not in person.

"Ok, well you have your laptop right?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah, but that is not going to help me, I can't see remember!" Edward whisper-yelled.

"Yes, but you can see when Bella is there. You should just watch it together. I have a feeling she is not really a do-it-yourself kinda girl, so she needs some instruction too." He laughed.

"Do you think she would want to do something like that?" Edward asked, stunned that Emmett thought his delicate Bella would not run screaming from the room if he asked her to watch that with him.

"Rosie loves to watch porn, it gets her hot every time!" Emmett said as he remembered just how hot the previous night had been. He really wished he had gotten her a video camera for Christmas so they could have made some homemade porn. Edward ended the conversation quickly as he heard the door to Alice's old room close. He threw on some boxer briefs and lay down on the bed, his laptop next to him. Bella curled up next to him on the bed, her head resting on his bare chest. She was still slightly on edge after getting worked up in the shower and not getting a release, but she figured her arousal was easier to hid than Edwards. She eyed the computer when Edward brought it up onto his lap. She watched as he opened a browser window and typed some pretty obscene words into Google. Hiding her head in his chest, she listened as the audio portion of the video started.

"Bella?" He rumbled as he urged her face up to his. She saw only acceptance and love in his gaze.

"What is…that?" She whispered, gesturing towards the couple on the screen.

"I thought maybe we could watch it, you know to get some pointers." He said quietly, his hands starting to sweat the longer she stayed quiet and stiff. She nodded faintly and laid her head down on his chest again, this time facing the screen.

()*()

"Babe, you will not believe what Edward just called about!" Emmett shouted from the kitchen. He was making a snack for them to enjoy while they watched the nine months of shows they had on their DVR. Emmett had moved some to DVD when they ran out of room, but he refused to watch any of their shows without Rose. Now, their marathon was to begin. Rose was snuggled on the couch, a blanket thrown over her legs as she stared at the dancing flames in the fireplace. The TV was paused on a laundry detergent commercial, the chubby baby wrapped in the blanket was supposed to make you want to buy their product, but all it made Rose want to do was throw the TV out the window.

"Babe?" Emmett asked as he walked in the room when Rose still had not answered him. She was staring into the fireplace, but one look at the TV gave him his answer. She had done so well since she had been home, but he had caught her more than once in the empty nursery. He had moved all of the things to their attic before she returned, hoping if it was out of sight it would be out of mind. But she was still having trouble dealing with their infertility. He had been hesitant to bring anything up about what the doctors had said before she left the center. Maybe now that she was at a healthy weight they could try again.

Without a word, he set the food on the table and fast forwarded to the show, bring her out of her daydream. He sat next to her, pulling her onto his lap. He turned his face into her hair, calming himself with her scent.

"Do you want to…try again?" He asked quietly, ignoring what was on the screen.

"Of course I do Emmett. Seeing you hold Benjamin, it makes my heart ache to watch you with our child. But I don't know if I can go through another loss." She whispered and he watched as tears started to slide down her cheeks.

"What did the doctors say?"

"They can't be sure, I did a lot of damage to myself over the years. But they said they have seen plenty of women in my situation go on to have healthy pregnancies." She said as she wiped at her tears. She ducked her head into his chest as she mumbled the next words.

"I have not been taking anything since I got back."

"What do you mean?"

"Birth control." She whispered.

"Well, I think we should just let nature take its course. If it was meant to be, it will happen. And if not, there is always adoption." He answered truthfully.

"You're right. I just need to relax and what will be, will be. Now rewind this so I can see who gets voted off." She said as she grabbed for the popcorn.

**A/N: What do you think they were watching?**

**Are you reading A Pound of Flesh? No? Go now! I mean it..so good, so hot.  
**

**Just an FYI – next week's chapter is my favorite so far! Send me some love!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: So... my favorite chapter right now. I hope everyone agrees with me. **

**Sorry for the later than usual update but Wallbanger and TUoEM updated, and come one they come first.  
**

**I am totally fail at replying to reviews and not getting the Emmett and Rose outtake out BUT I did manage to bust out the next three chapters, so there should not be any delays in posting over the holidays. The chapters may get shorter, but there will be more in them, so that is nice. **

**I wish I could come out there and give each of you a giant hug. I never imagined that I would get 2.5K hits on update days when I started writing this, but you guys rock! I read every one of your reviews and if I was not so busy writing the next chapters, working 10 hours a day, growing a child and trying to keep up with the three that are already here... I would totally respond to your reviews. **

**Dally, oh my dear Dally - I overwhelmed her with chapters this week and she busted them all out for me. I can not tell you all how important she is to me. I really feel out of it when I do not hear what she thinks about these chapters. I hope she finds her motivation to finish her 'Bittersweet' soon so I can get my Emmett fix!  
**

**I had an emotional day Friday - found out we are having yet another girl, that is number four if you lost count. Oh well at least I get another Twilight name out of it. I already have a Sam (Samantha) and this one will be Charlie (Charlotte). Yeah - I laugh at myself as well. **

**ENJOY!**

The next eight weeks flew by, for everyone. Alice and Benjamin were all settled into their suite of rooms at Esme and Carlisle's and to everyone's joy, the little newborn was sleeping through the night. Carlisle had taken a back seat in Jasper's care because he found himself getting too emotionally attached. He took every setback and hurdle as a personal failure and would be miserable and difficult to live with for days after. Now, with Jasper's care being supervised by the best oncologist in the state, they were all resting easier. There were signs that the new white blood cells were starting to multiply, and if he continued to improve, he could come out of isolation sooner than anyone thought.

Rose and Emmett were also surprised to find it was Spring. Emmett had found a new job working with underprivileged children in Port Angeles. Most days Rose joined him at work, finding she had a special way of getting through to some of the female bullies. The pay was terrible, but with the Cullen's investment portfolio, none of them really needed to work anyway. They had spoken again about children, but Rose's cycle was still in flux after getting used to her new healthy weight. Without knowing when she would ovulate, trying to get pregnant was a shot in the dark. But they were shooting often.

Edward's plans were finally complete, and today was the day he was taking Bella to see the finished project. He had been sneaky about finding out her preference for certain things, since he wanted her to love it as much as he did. This would be the first time he was seeing it, but from what Emmett and Rose had said, they would both love it. He somehow managed to convince her to let him drive the short distance to their destination, and with her blindfolded. She started to protest, but his puppy dog eyes did her in every time. She held tight to his thigh as he drove, tempted to run her hand up to where she knew the Promised Land resided, but did not want to distract him. She sat still for the five minute drive, getting curious as to where he was taking her that was so close. The Cullen Estate was in the middle of nowhere. It took at least ten minutes to get anywhere.

Finally Edward shifted the truck into park and turned towards Bella.

"I am going to go around and open the door. Just wait here." He said, nerves making his voice falter. Now she was nervous as well, as she sat still waiting for him to trek around the truck. He wrenched open the door and grabbed her hand, keeping his eyes on the ground so he would be as surprised as she was when the time came. He oriented them so they were looking out, into the meadow. There was a dusting of snow covering the ground and it crunched under their feet as they walked. Bella gripped tightly to Edward's arm, praying she would not end up taking them both down. Finally, assuming they were facing the correct direction, Edward reached up and took of Bella's blindfold.

"This is my first time seeing it as well. I hope you like it." He said before turning her around to look at their new home. The house was a miniature version of his parent's house. It was white with black shutters framing the multitude of windows. There was a wide porch wrapping around the entire structure, complete with rocking chairs and a gently moving porch swing. The only difference Bella could see in this home and Carlisle and Esme's was the flaming red front door. She had told Edward she always wanted to live in a home with a red door, and now, here he was offering it to her. Edward's soft curse brought her out of her perusal.

"Shit. I'm sorry Bella, I specifically told the contractor I wanted the door to be red. We will get it fixed as soon as possible." He said as he tugged her into his side. She eyed him curiously but ignored it, sure that once they got closer he would see his error. They walked hand in hand towards the front door. He stopped and pulled something from his pocket. He dangled a key in her face and she excitedly reached up to grab it. She unlocked the door and pulled him in behind her. The entry was large but comfortable. Instead of marble and wallpaper there was dark wood and warm taupe paint. Bella had never seen anything as beautiful or more her style. They explored the downstairs and found an oversize living room that managed to be formal without being stuffy. There was a dinning room that could fit at least 15 and a kitchen that would make a professional chef jealous. The dark wood flooring continued throughout the downstairs. Bella actually squealed when Edward showed her the bright red high efficiency washer and dryer set. There was a large deck off of the kitchen that led down to a pool and hot tub. Bella could even see a swing set far in the distance and turned to Edward, smirking.

"Pretty presumptuous of you, don't you think?" She joked, gesturing towards the playground equipment.

"I have no idea what you are talking about. You know what a sucker I am for a slide." He laughed before dragging her up the back stairs to the second floor. There he showed her no less than four guest bedrooms with their own bathrooms and all were furnished for company, not thinking that all of their friends and family lived within walking distance. He left one door closed and pulled her up yet another set of stairs to the attic. He had made this large, sprawling room into an office for her and a studio for him. His piano rested in one corner as well as new recording equipment. His guitars and other string instruments had a home hanging on the wall, like art work. He showed her the soundproof material that turned the room into a professional recording studio so there was no need for him to go into Seattle anymore to record the soundtracks for movies. He could work from home. Bella's office faced out the back of the house and she noticed she could see the entire back yard from her desk. She looked forward to watching the leaves change out the window and peeking in on her children playing in the yard. Edward had thought of everything.

They walked back down the stairs and stood in front of the only remaining closed door. Edward took a deep breath before slowly opening the door. Bella gasped as she looked at the elegant bedroom Edward wanted them to share. The walls were a metallic silver with deep red covering the windows and bed. The bed was the biggest she had ever seen and saw that there was a step stool next to it in order to climb up on it. He showed her the huge closet and the spa like bathroom, smirking slightly when her eyes widened at the size of the shower. Bella noticed one more door and opened it slowly, revealing pale green walls. There was not a speck of furniture in the room, except for an old wooden rocking chair in the corner with an oversized teddy bear sitting on it. The same teddy bear they had brought for Benjamin when he was born.

Edward was shuffling his feet with his head down, now embarrassed that he had thought to do this. When Bella tipped his chin up so they were face to face, he was shocked to see tears in her eyes. Before he could start to apologize she threw herself at him, making his body slam back into the wall behind her.

"Oh Edward, I love it. I love everything. How can I ever thank you for your thoughtfulness?" She gushed, peppering his face with kisses. He laughed through her enthusiasm and pulled back far enough to stop her assault.

"The rest of the family wanted to know if they could come over tonight to see the house. Do you feel up to hosting our first dinner party?" Before the words were out of his mouth, she was racing down to the kitchen, leaving him to find his way back without her. He could hear her banging around with pots and pans, laughing with delight as she found the stocked pantry and Sub-zero refrigerator. He sat down on the stool at the breakfast bar and listened to her get acquainted to her new favorite place. He steeled his nerves and spoke.

"Will you …move in here with me?" He whispered.

"Edward…don't you want to experience life on your own for a while before we shack up?" She asked quietly, deserting the stainless steel mixing bowls and new Kitchen Aid mixer.

"Bella, what kind of life would I have without you, and I am not talking about being able to see. I want to wake up with you in our bed each morning and share breakfast with you before you leave for work. I want to have dinner with you each night and listen to you complain about missing socks or the fact that I left the toilet seat up…again. I want a life with you." He said vehemently.

"My dad is not going to be too happy about this." She hesitated.

"Screw him. He just wants you around to cook and clean for him. I want you here for you. If you wanted to hire someone to take care of the house, I would care less. Anything for you." He whispered as he leaned forward and searched for her hand, sunlight exploding across his vision when he finally could see again.

"Yes Edward, lets do it. Do you want to go move my stuff in now?" She joked, expecting him to laugh right along with her. But his face was serious as he nodded his head yes. He pulled her from the kitchen, pausing only to lock the door, and they took off in her truck to load up the remnants of her life.

()*()

"Oh God." Rose mumbled before heading to the bathroom once again.

"Babe are you sure you don't want me to call my dad? Food poisoning should not last this long." He said through the closed door of the bathroom. She had turned on the water in the sink but that did not disguise the sound of her heaving into the toilet. They were getting ready to go to Edward and Bella's house for dinner. Edward had asked Emmett to help design everything so that it would be accessible to Edward when he was sightless, but also conducive to a family. Emmett was thrilled to see his brother so happy, and was pretty happy himself. Rose had been offered a position with him at the youth center and they were really making some progress with some of the kids. He had talked Esme into adding the center to one of the charities that benefited from the Cullen philanthropic nature and the extra money was already starting to make a difference.

The water turned off and Rose came back through the door, looking pale and haggard. This had been going on since she had some bad sushi last week. Emmett was really staring to worry, especially when she went to one of the doctors the clinic recommended. He worried she was having a relapse into bulimia. She assured him everything was fine. He watched her get dressed before she gestured him out the door with a small smile. He was determined to find out what was going on.

()*()

Carlisle and Esme were the first to arrive, toting a bottle of wine with them. They were both thrilled that Edward was getting settled into his new home with Bella. He ransacked his room for anything he might need and threw it into the back of Bella's truck. She had a wonderful time organizing their things together in their closet and dressers. She had been able to avoid a confrontation with her father since he was not home when they went to retrieve her things. She had left him a message with directions to their house, inviting him to dinner. She had not received a response.

Edward escorted his parents into the kitchen, where Bella was busy preparing their dinner of salmon, scalloped potatoes and asparagus with bacon. She had also made loaves of fresh bread and an apple pie with homemade vanilla ice cream for dessert. She hugged both Esme and Carlisle and ohhed and ahhed over the wine, asking Carlisle if he would open it while she hunted down some wine glasses. The doorbell announced another arrival and Edward went to open it. Rose and Emmett were thrilled that both Edward and Bella loved the house, since they were influential in getting all of the finishing work done. It had been hard on Rose when Edward asked to have the nursery placed next to their master bedroom, but Rose persevered and thought it turned out wonderfully. The new arrivals made their way into the kitchen and helped themselves to some appetizers while Bella finished the meal and they waited for Alice and Benjamin to arrive. She had been visiting Jasper in the hospital and said they would be over after visiting hours.

The group moved into the living room after Bella announced that everything was taken care of. The doorbell rang again and Bella went to answer it, expecting it to be Alice. When she opened the door to her father's grim face her happy mood fell and she stepped back to invite him in.

"Nice digs, guess you are finally putting out. So you pregnant? Did the Cullen king knock up the fat girl so he had to move her into his pad?" Charlie asked caustically as he shrugged out of his jacket and threw it at Bella, resting his hand on the butt of his gun. Bella turned quickly to stow his coat in the closet and hide the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Chief Swan, I am so glad you could join us to celebrate the kid's good news." Carlisle said tightly from the living room doorway. As Bella turned around she could see Emmett holding Edward back from attacking her father and Esme consoling a quietly sobbing Rose. Bella moved forward and put her hand on her father's arm.

"Would you like something to drink Dad? I think we might have some beer in the fridge." She said quietly as she towed him towards the kitchen, hoping they could get Edward and Rose settled before they came back. Charlie plopped down on a stool and watched as Bella made her way around the kitchen.

"I was surprised to find your room empty when I came home. I expected that kid to have more manners when he steals my girl out from under me."

"Like you actually care about me aside from the fact that I will not be there to cook and clean for you anymore." Bella said as she poured the beer into a pilsner glass. She handed the frosty glass to her father before looking him dead in the eyes.

"I am not going to let you ruin this for me. That man out there loves me and I love him. He makes me happy, happier than I ever thought I deserved to be. He wants me to live here with him. I want to make a life with him, and if you can't shut up and just be happy for me, then you can just get out." She said quietly before turning to check on the asparagus. Charlie sat silently for a minute before standing and coming over to where she was at the stove.

"Don't come running to me when he dumps your fat ass." He said as he poured the contents of his glass all over her clean floor. "You want to play house…clean that up." He said as he sat the glass on the counter and stomped out of the house.

Bella fell to her knees with a rag, frantically trying to clean up the mess before anyone came in. She was scrubbing but kept finding more liquid on the floor. It was not until she looked up to find Esme standing over her that she realized she was crying. She held in her sob, but just barely. Esme sat down next to her and pulled her into her lap. She saw Rose standing in the doorway but tears soon blurred her vision. She allowed herself to be comforted by Esme while Rose finished cleaning up the floor. Finally composed, Bella stood slowly and walked to the dishwasher to place the glass on the rack. Her hands gripped the countertop tightly as she struggled to contain her rage. Rose came up next to her and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"No, don't hold it in… you need to let it out. Let out the hate and disappointment. If you let it live inside of you, it will take over everything. Scream, hit something… anything to let it out. Bella, this is not your fault." Rose said as she shook her slightly. Tears were still falling down Bella's face.

"Here, break this." Esme suggested as she handed Bella one of the beautiful baguettes she had made earlier.

"What do you mean break it?" Bella asked appalled.

"Like this." Rose said as she took the bread in two hands and snapped it down the middle.

"Here, you do it now." Rose said as she thrust another loaf into Bella's hands. Bella's fingers shook as she wrapped her hand around the bread, before using all of her strength to break the bread apart. Finding that she did indeed feel better, Bella grabbed at another loaf, this time ripping it apart with a scream. Rose and Esme stood still watching Bella fall apart, her rage and frustration with years of being treated so poorly finally coming to a head. The men stood still at the door, watching and listening to the girl they all loved self-destruct. They were going to let her get it all out of her system, but when Bella turned to where the tray of bacon was cooling, Emmett had enough.

"No Bella, I can't let you take it out on the poor defenseless bacon. That would be cruel." He said as he snuck a piece off of the plate and thrust it into his mouth. Bella and the girls dissolved into a fit of giggles and Bella fell into Emmett's arms. She did not need her father, she had a perfectly good family who wanted her right here.

"What in the name of all that is holy is going on in here?" Alice chirped from the doorway. She was carrying a large white box from the bakery in town. The occupants of the kitchen looked around curious as to where the youngest member of the family was when someone walked in behind Alice.

"Surprise."

**E/N: Who is it? And oh my God is Charlie an ass or what? Love to you all and if you are looking for a good time go read **

**_Ride_ **

**and  
**

**_Rapture_ **

**cause oh my, they are some hot stuff. Check out my favorites to find them and a shitton of other great fic I am reading right now. **


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: I love you all, beyond words. Your reviews for the last chapter were outstanding and I was super fail at responding to them…yet again. The good news is that I am working on chapter 25 right now. The bad news…there will only be 28 chapters and an epi as of right now. I know, I know…I'm sad as well.**

**Dalloway5906 went through this chapter and then I went and messed with it, so if there are any errors, I'm sorry. It is 9:55 right now on Friday night and I just want to go to bed. But I am getting this ready to post so you can have it in your inboxes when you wake up. Go me.**

**I look forward to seeing your reaction to this chapter. Questions will be answered and more posed. Love ya!**

They descended on Jasper like lions on an injured gazelle. He was still pale and was wearing a mask, but he was upright and holding his son. The all went back into the living room to sit. Bella and Edward sat close together, his arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders. He hated that he did not step up to defend Bella, but both his brother and father had held him back, knowing that the Chief of police carried a lot of clout. He would get what was coming to him…soon enough.

After getting the info on Jasper's release and new regimen as far as clinic and nurse visits, Bella announced that dinner was ready. Rose and Alice helped to carry everything into the dinning room and Jasper sat Benjamin in the bouncy seat they placed in the center of the large table. Once the food was passed around and the blessing had been said, everyone dug in. Emmett's humms of contentment made Bella happy. Her father always just grunted his appreciation and left the table. Even Benjamin was gurgling happily, but she was sure that was because his silly Uncle Emmett was making faces at him. Rose looked guarded as she watched her husband interact with his nephew. Bella was hoping to find some time to spend with Rose alone.

After the meal they all headed back into the living room, Jasper and Alice snuggled together on the couch as Alice nursed the baby. Bella wished she had a camera to document the happy family, and quickly jumped to her feet when she realized she did have one buried in the box behind the chair. She bent over to open the box and pulled out a stack of books before grabbing hold of her camera. Esme, nosy as ever, took one of the books off the top of the stack and started flipping through it, chuckling to herself as she realized she was holding Bella's yearbook. Emmett noticed what his mother was holding and made a wild grab for it, turning it over to see what year it was from. It was his and Rose's senior year, Bella's sophomore. He flipped through the pages, reliving the memories, both good and bad. Alice, finished posing for pictures and feeding the baby, came over and sat on the arm rest looking at the book. One picture in particular caught her eye. In it, Rose was laughing hysterically while Emmett stood at her side, looking distraught. The photographer had captured an evil essence in Rose's stance and Alice wanted to know what had happened seconds before the picture had been taken. Bella came over to stand next to the couch.

"What is the story behind this one? Emmett, you look like you are ready to kill someone." Alice asked.

Rose and Emmett sat silently, both knowing the story behind their expressions but not wanting to share it. Finally Bella spoke.

"You see that shadow there in the bottom of the picture?" She said quietly.

"Bella don't…" Rose whispered in a pained voice. Bella threw her a sympathetic look but continued.

"That is me. Rose had just tripped me and I ended up throwing my books halfway down the hall when I fell. I think it was Jane Volturi that came by and 'accidently' kicked me while I was picking them up. Good times." Bella said as she snatched the book off of Emmett's lap and threw it in the box before heading back into the kitchen. All of the girls and Edward moved to get up, but it was Emmett that finally went after her. She was leaning against the sink, her head bowed. He ran a hand through his hair before approaching her.

"Bella…" He started quietly.

"Emmett, just…don't. I should not have reacted that way. That was years ago when Rose was still dealing with her problems and I was just a blip on your radar. Let's just try and forget it, ok?" She sighed as she turned to face him. His face looked as devastated now as it had in the picture.

"No Bella, you deserve an apology. I knew it was wrong back then, and I should have just stood up to my so called friends and made them stop. But I was worried about how they would react, and instead of thinking of how it was affecting you, I only thought of myself. You helped to make me a better man since you and Edward met, and I can't thank you enough. I truly think that if he had never run into you at the track that night, all of our lives would have been completely different. Rose would have never gotten help. Alice would never have been in the hospital to meet Jasper, let alone fall in love, get married, have a baby and save his life. And you would have never met Edward. You would have been stuck living with your asshole of a father, working some job you hate, and all of us would be miserable." He moved from the doorway to where she stood, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"No matter what anyone ever tells you… you are important Bella Swan. You are an amazing person, who is so selfless it stuns me. I am glad to be able to call you my friend, and can't wait till I can call you my sister." Bella's loud sob brought everyone from the living room running, but when they found her clinging to Emmett like a baby bear cub, they returned to their previous position to wait for them to make their way back in. Bella took a minute to rinse her face and blow her nose, before walking, arm in arm with Emmett to join their family.

Bella sat between Alice and Rose after she grabbed the book again. Carlisle brought Edward over to stand behind Bella so he would be able to watch as Rose, Emmett and Bella relived their high school memories. When they got to the page with the football team and cheerleaders, Edward leaned forward squinting.

"I though the Spartans colors were blue and gold. What is with all the black and white? Could they not spring for color photos?" He joked. When Bella turned her concerned eyes to his, he knew something was wrong.

"What?" He asked quietly.

"They _are_ in color." She answered as she turned and kneeled on the couch so she could face him.

"No, they were in black and white." He said softly, his confidence wavering.

"What color am I wearing?" She whispered as she placed her hands on either side of his face.

He looked down momentarily before his eyes flew wide.

"Black?" He answered, his voice faltering. As he looked into Bella's dark eyes and watched them slowly fill with tears, he knew he was wrong.

()*()

The doctors could not help explain Edward's sudden loss of color vision, since medically speaking, he should not have any vision at all. They went from specialist to specialist over the next three weeks, always getting the same answers: "You are luck to be able to see at all."

Edward was not so sure. His vision was developing dark spots now as well as being completely void of color. He had no idea he had not been seeing the full color spectrum until they realized it the night of the housewarming dinner. Bella was starting to worry.

"What if it is wearing off?" She whispered into the darkness of their bedroom. They were curled together in their bed, their bodies spent after bring each other to ecstasy.

"What do you mean?" He said, his warm breath stirring the hairs around her ear. She turned in his arms to face him.

"What if whatever was special about me is wearing off. It is almost a year since we found out about it, maybe it had an expiration date." She rambled. He ran his hand down her arm, trying to sooth her.

"I can't believe that. We just have to have faith that everything will be fine." He rubbed her back until sleep finally claimed her, but it was a long time before Edward closed his eyes. He had been working on a way to propose to Bella ever since she moved in with him. He wanted it to be special. He also wanted that night to be the night they finally gave themselves to each other.

Emmett's suggestion of watching porn together was a good one. They were able to learn what kinds of things each other responded to, without having to fumble around time after time. His fingers were masterful at bring Bella to her peak within minutes and her tiny hands had the power to bring him to his knees. They had explored each other with their hands, and a few times, with their mouths, always wanting more ways to express their love for one another. Now, Edward's plan was in motion to bind them together for eternity, and bring them together in the most intimate of ways.

()*()

"Jasper Whitlock!" Alice shouted as she walked down the hallway. She was fuming and itching for a good fight. She walked into their office, holding an iPod in her hand. He twirled his chair around and paled slightly as he saw what she was holding.

"What in the hell is this?" She shrieked.

"Um, my iPod." He answered quietly, hoping if he spoke calmly to her, like one would a wild animal, she would stop her tirade.

"I can see it is an iPod, what I want to know is why it was playing Metallica in our son's room?" She said, her voice menacingly soft. He swallowed before answering.

"I wanted him to be exposed to all kinds of music Alice, not just that classical shit you play all the time." He watched the rage flow through her. It started with the tapping of her toe, then the clenching of her tiny fists. By the time she opened her mouth he was off his chair and cowering behind it. She threw the offending electronic device at the chair he had occupied only moments before as she screamed and yelled. Jasper sat under his desk, trying to find a way to calm her down. She had been irrational and tense ever since he was released from the hospital three weeks ago. He had tried to ignore it, but this was going too far. He finally garnered his courage and stood up from his hiding place to confront her. The minute he opened his mouth she collapsed in a heap and started to sob. He rushed to her side, their quarrel instantly forgotten.

"What is it baby girl?" He soothed as he gathered her up in his arms. His strength was nearly back to what it had been before he had the cord blood transplant. He looked forward to having the stamina to start running with Emmett and Bella in the mornings.

"I'm so scared." She whispered as she reached up to wipe her nose with her sleeve.

"Scared of what?" Suddenly petrified that she had been keeping something from him. Was there something wrong with her…with Benjamin?

"I'm scared that this is all a dream and when I wake up you will be dead. How long is this going to last? Will we have to watch behind our backs for the rest of our lives, waiting for your cancer to come back?" She whimpered into his chest. His body tensed as he realized he was the cause of her mood swings and erratic behavior. His doctor had explained to him the rates of reoccurrence and remission before he was released from the hospital. He was going in for blood work every two months for the next two years. If he was still in the clear then it went to blood work every year. After 5 years of no reemergence, he was considered in remission. He had explained all this to Alice, but it must not have sunk in.

"Baby girl, we have to stay positive. Since I had both testicles removed, the chance of reoccurrence is very slim. I just have to stay active and healthy. You worrying like this is not good for anyone. You know Benjamin can sense when you are tense. I swear you are going to make your milk go sour with all of your stress." He laughed as he pulled her back to look at her.

"I have no plans of going anywhere for a long time. I promise that you are stuck with me whether you like it or not. I was kinda hoping we might be able to use the rest of my frozen sperm to make Benjamin a little brother or sister one of these days." He said and watched as her entire face changed. Her eyes brightened and her pale cheeks flushed with color. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed every inch of skin she could reach.

"I am going to hold you to that promise Jasper. Now about the Metallica." She said with a smirk.

()*()

"Ok Rose that is it. I have had enough of this. I am taking you in to see my father today. We have an appointment in half and hour. Get your ass outta there and get dressed." Emmett bellowed from outside the bathroom. It had been nearly three months since she started with this so called 'stomach flu' and he was tired of it. He was not sure if she was having a relapse of bulimia or if something was physically wrong with her, but he could not listen to her retch every day. She was even sneaking into the bathroom at work and puking. He was at the end of his rope. She emerged from the bathroom, looking pale and shaken.

"Fine Em, whatever you want." She said quietly as she disappeared into her closet to dress. Rose was also worried there might be something really wrong with her. She did not think it was her eating disorder rearing its ugly head, since she had grown so comfortable with her new body, but she had no other explanation for what was going on with her.

The ride to the hospital was tense and quiet. Thankfully Carlisle was able to bring them right back when the arrived so they did not have to sit in the waiting room. He did a quick examination and ordered some blood work before taking Emmett out of the room while one of his colleagues from the psychiatric department asked Rose some questions. She resented the fact that Carlisle doubted her ability to recognize the signs of a relapse, but answered the doctor's questions just the same. She knew they were all doing this out of love. Finally resting after appeasing the psychiatrist's interest, they waited, hands clasped tightly together, for Carlisle to come back in. When the door swung open, Emmett started to cry. He buried his head in Rose's lap and waited for his father to give them the bad news. Rose threaded her hand through Emmett's curls and looked up with tears in her own eyes at the man she considered her father. Her breath stalled in her chest as she looked at his expression. There was moisture in his eyes, but a blinding smile spreading across his face. She tugged sharply on Emmett's hair so he would look at his father.

"You're pregnant."

()*()

Bella was startled when the fire alarm went off right outside her office. She had been finishing up some paperwork before her next counseling session. She had been seeing several students on a weekly basis, something the rest of the guidance counselors were peeved about. Everyone wanted to see Ms. Swan. She had a waiting list a mile long of students who wanted to speak to her. The principal had already approached her about working full-time next school year. She was hesitant to make a decision since she had yet to discuss it with Edward. She thoroughly enjoyed their mornings together and worried how he would be alone all day. She quickly gathered up her important belongings and followed the rush of students out into the parking lot. There had been a minor fire in the auditorium after a prop had caught on the spotlights during rehearsal for the end of the year play. Since the fire department had to be dispatched, they were forced to suspend classes for the rest of day, giving everyone an early dismissal.

Bella was excited as she climbed into her truck. She decided not to call Edward, instead choosing to surprise him when she arrived home hours earlier than expected. She found the first and second floor empty when as she walked through the house. She called for him, but got no reply. She sat on the bottom step, wondering where he could be. The silence of the house was suddenly broken by a rhythmic thumping coming from below. She opened the never before used basement door and slowly walked down the stairs. They had been so busy with doctor's appointments for Edward and their daily life, he had never shown her what was in the basement, only telling her it was a theatre room and gym. She hoped there were treadmills in the gym so she would not have to trudge through the snow once winter made its way around again. She followed the thumping to a partially closed door at the end of the hall. She pushed the door open further and gasped at what she saw inside.

The room was set up as a state of the art gym. Mirrors lined the front walls and each piece of cardio equipment had its own flat screen TV. Weight machines littered one side of the room while the back wall was covered in free weights. She wondered how Edward had become familiar enough in the room to be able to make his way around without tripping over something. He was standing in the far corner, wearing only low slung basketball shorts and sneakers. His hair was slicked back with sweat and his hands were tapped up. He was pummeling a punching bag that was hanging from the ceiling. Bella had never seen a more arousing sight than Edward, sweaty and half naked, beating the crap out of an inanimate object. She finally got her answer as to how he stayed in such fantastic shape. She watched his muscles bunch as his fist hit the bag over and over. He stepped back far enough to ram his knee into the bag, causing his abs to contract deliciously. His sense of timing made it easy to anticipate when the bag would swing his way again. He worked at it over and over, his arms becoming heavier and slower. Finally he stopped, both hands wrapped around the bag. Bella was just getting ready to enter the room when she heard him start to whimper. Fearing he was hurt she started to rush towards him, but his faintly spoken words stopped her in her tracks.

"I have to tell her. I have to."

**A/N: Oh no…a storm is comin'. Reviews makes it hurt less.**

**If things go well this week and I can bust out another chapter...there might be a Thanksgiving surprise for you all since I am so thankful to have such wonderful readers. No promises, but I have a good feeling about it!  
**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: Yeah…I suck. I so wanted to have this chapter up for you guys yesterday, but my house was crazy with the holiday. I also was hoping to bring you a twofer this week, but as of now this will be the only chapter up. I did not have as much time as I wanted to work on chapter 25, and so it sits half done on my laptop. IF and that is a giant IF, I can bust the rest of 25 out today while my kids are napping, you MIGHT get another chapter tomorrow. It will come to you unbeta'd because I refuse to bother Dalloway5906 during her holiday visit with her parents this weekend. She is taking her Puddin' to see Tangled tomorrow and I hope they enjoy it! She fixed the errors in this chapter and then I went and messed with it some more, so if there are problems with it, they are mine.**

**I am totally an asshole when it comes to review replies. They sit in my inbox and I see them every day, and I hate myself that I can't get my shit together and let you all know how important each and every word is to me. I also have to get that Emmett/Rose outtake done and out to you all. I promise, as soon as I am done with 25 I will work on it. **

**My plan for the upcoming weeks are… chapter 24 tomorrow and then a chapter each Saturday till Christmas Day (Dec 25****th****) which is when the Epi will post. I am sad about this coming to an end, but I can't think of a better day for this all to conclude. Enjoy!**

Bella jumped backwards when Edward rammed his fist into the hanging bag again. She used the noise as a cover to slowly make her way back upstairs. She walked in a daze up to their bedroom and sat down on the bed. What did he need to tell her? Was there something wrong? Her mind was going in overdrive, her thoughts racing so loud through her brain she almost missed the sound of his footsteps coming up from the basement. She listened to him as he walked to the kitchen and the sound of the refrigerator open and then close. He made his way up the stairs towards her and she had a decision to make. She could sit silently and sneak out while he was in the shower, or…

Edward trudged into their bedroom, dropping his soaked shirt on the floor as he entered the room. He sat the bottle of water down on the dresser as he kicked off his shoes. He was bent over stripping off his socks when he heard a noise. He slowly raised his head and trained his ears towards where the sound had emanated. The shallow breaths he heard got even louder when he paused, as if the intruder realized they had been caught. Edward debated making a run for it, but stopped when he heard the stranger move from the bed. He stood alert as the person walked toward him. He clenched his hands into fists so he would be ready to defend himself, poised to strike. When the intruder was standing right in front of him, he took a deep breath, preparing himself to fight. His head reeled and his body tightened as he recognized the familiar scent of his Bella. Just as he realized who was in their bedroom, her hand swept across his chest, granting him sight. He looked down at her, his heart rate still through the roof. Her eyes were on the tensed muscles of his chest and abdomen, avoiding his eyes at all costs.

"What's going on?" Edward asked quietly, wondering what would have brought her home from work early. He hoped she was not ill.

"Fire at the school." She whispered as she leaned forward and licked the length of his throat, ending with a nip on the edge of his chin. He groaned loudly.

"What…" He tried to ask but her mouth latched onto his, draining him of any rational thought. His hands fisted into the silk of her shirt, tugging it out of her skirt, desperate to feel her skin. She pushed him away, keeping just one hand on his chest. Her dark eyes finally met his and his breath stalled in his chest at the passion and fire he saw there. She slid her hand down to the waistband of his shorts, her other hand joining the first as she sunk to her knees, dragging the fabric with her. His eyes closed as he was overwhelmed with the sight before him. She pressed her lips against the hard muscles of his abdomen, her tongue tasting the sweat that still coated his skin. She wrapped one hand around his hardness as she looked up at him from under her lashes. His breaths were coming in hard pants now as he tried to hold back the innate desire to thrust into her grip. Her tongue, wet and pink, slowly reached for his tip, trailing up and down. He growled low in his chest as her eyes stayed on his the entire time. He wanted to tug her up, capture her mouth and ravish her, but he was frozen. She finally enveloped his head in the warmth of her mouth and his hips thrust against his will. He anchored his hands in her hair, intending to pull her off of him, but as his fingers tightened in her curls, she let out a husky moan along his shaft. Apparently she was enjoying it just as much as he was. Her eyes fluttered as he used the hold he had in her hair to guide her movements. He had never seen anything as erotic as watching Bella on her knees pleasuring him. He though she would feel degraded or that he would feel guilty, but the look of absolute ecstasy on her face erased all of those fears.

Bella had never felt as powerful as she did kneeling before Edward. His body was trembling as she took his length into her mouth again and again. His fingers clenched tighter in her hair, and she knew he was getting close. His hips thrust into her mouth and his lips opened slightly, a surefire signal that he was about to come. She stayed with him through his release, resisting his punishing grip in her hair as he tried to pull her away. She was trying to prove something to him, to show him that whatever he though he needed to tell her, they would make it through if they dealt with things together.

Edward's legs collapsed under him, bringing him down in a heap next to where Bella was kneeling. She tried to avoid his searching mouth, thinking that it would disgust him to kiss her after what she had done, but he would not be dissuaded. He moaned against her lips as his hands ran over her body. His fingers were beginning their way up her skirt when he finally opened his eyes to look at her. He pulled back instantly as he realized that there were tears running down her cheeks. Petrified that he had hurt her, he held her by the shoulders, his eyes scanning her for signs of injury. The separation of their bodies only caused Bella to cry harder and she tried to push her way back into his arms. He crushed her against his chest, anxious for her to explain what was going on. Finally, after what seemed like hours, she spoke.

"Are you leaving me?" She whispered, her voice hoarse.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, horrified that she would even think such a thing.

"I heard you talking to yourself in the gym. You need to tell me something. Do you not…do you not want me anymore?" She whimpered as she buried her face in his chest, the tears mixing with the sweat on his skin.

"I do need to tell you something. My vision…it has been getting worse. The colors are completely gone and now I have dark spots as well. I have no peripheral vision on either side and bright lights are excruciating. I have been hiding it from you for a while because I knew you would worry, that you would blame yourself. The fact that I am able to see anything at all when I touch you is a miracle." He sighed as she started sobbing. He knew she would think there was something wrong with her.

"Bella please, this does not matter. I love you." He whispered against her hair as he slowly got to his feet and tugged her towards the bathroom.

"Come take a shower with me." He crooned as he slowly pulled her clothes from her.

()*()

Bella was stunned when Alice and Rose came bursting into their bedroom hours later. Edward had pampered her in the shower, washing her hair and making sure every inch of her body was squeaky clean. He suggested she take a nap after they were done while he went upstairs to work for a while. He left the attic door open so she could hear the flowing melodies of his newest composition and she was soon asleep. Now, rudely awoken by her friends, her mood was somber. She was still absorbing what Edward had told her about his vision. Her greatest fear was that he would lose his vision completely and not want her anymore. She had thrown away her old life and if Edward left her, she would have nothing left.

Rose was bouncing around, sifting through the clothes in Bella's closet. There was definitely something different about her, she was glowing. Chalking it up to some good lovin', Bella allowed herself to be primped and curled and stuffed into a little black dress. When Alice tried to make her wear heels, Bella put her foot down. With a frown on her face, Alice brought over a pair of ballet flats instead and they declared Bella ready. Ready for what, she was still unsure.

The girls escorted her down to the living room, where the men were waiting. Edward was cautiously holding Benjamin, with Jasper sitting close by. It broke Bella's heart to see him with the child. Since he could not see him, he was extra cautious to make sure he was gripping the baby tightly. He had him nuzzled against his chest, his nose buried in his blond curls. Jasper had gotten his wish, and Benjamin's blue eyes had gone grey, just like Alice's. Emmett looked up from his brother and nephew and whistled loudly as he caught sight of Bella. She looked amazing, not that she did not always look nice. He hoped that Edward's plans would go off without a hitch this evening. After the news he and Rose had gotten earlier in the week, he wanted everyone to be as happy as they were.

As if sensing his thoughts, Rose looked towards him, love shining brightly in her eyes. It took all of his strength not to race towards her and envelope her in his arms. They had decided to wait one more week, until Rose was in her second trimester to announce that they were expecting. Carlisle had ordered a multitude of tests and brought the head of the OB department down to supervise. Everything looked great and they figured Rose was in her eleventh week. She had never gone this far before without miscarrying, which they all thought was a wonderful sign. They were scheduled for an ultrasound in two weeks, and they were holding their breath until then.

Alice gently took Benjamin from her brother, but not before whispering encouraging words into his ear. He got up from the couch and walked carefully towards where he assumed Bella stood. When his hand made contact with her skin, he thought he had died and gone to heaven. Bella's hair was done up in tight curls, a style he had never seen on her before. Her make-up was light and deliberate, highlighting her eyes and high cheekbones. The black dress, while a common style, looked anything but common on her. It hugged her curves and flared away at her hips, leaving miles of creamy skin exposed. He draped her shawl over her shoulders and they walked to the garage. His palms were damp as he looked at her while pressing the button on the remote opener. The doors slid open and he heard her gasp when, instead of her old truck, there was a new red Volvo SUV in its spot. She whipped her head to him, tears shimmering in her eyes.

"What did you do?" She whispered.

"I upgraded your truck. I need to know you are safe, and I obviously don't need a vehicle myself, so I pooled our funds to get this one. I thought it would be good, for a family…you know." He breathed, suddenly regretting his choice. Maybe he should have gotten a Mini Cooper instead. She threw herself in his arms, making them both stumble backwards.

"I love it, I love it!" She screamed, before holding her hands out for the keys and dragging him towards the car. She had never owned a new car and it took forever for him to show her all of the upgrades and new features. When she saw the remote car starter, she cried. She would no longer have to go out in the freezing weather to start her car before work. She turned the key in the ignition and was surprised when it did not start, but when she went to try it again, Edward stopped her.

"It started, you are just so used to your super loud engine." He laughed.

She followed the directions from the GPS after Edward had inputted their destination into it and soon found herself in the middle of the woods. Suddenly as the GPS spouted that they had arrived, the woods opened up to a beautiful rustic house. The sign on the side of the building declared it the Lake Crescent Lodge. Edward directed her around to the side of the main building and a porter came out for the bags that were stowed in the tailgate. Bella was stunned as she had not even realized that the luggage was back there. Edward glanced shyly at her as he escorted her in. They check into their cottage and the porter said he would take their bags to their room for them. The desk clerk showed them the way to the dinning room, where Edward had reserved a private table for dinner.

Bella sat stiffly in the chair, not sure if she should be upset that Edward had planned all of this without telling her or just be a nice girlfriend and say 'thank you.' In the end, the look on Edward's face as he watched her made the decision for her.

"This is beautiful Edward, thank you. But there was no need to go to this much trouble." She sighed as she looked out the large windows that lined the dinning room, on to the setting sun over the lake. She could never have imagined a more beautiful evening.

"It was no trouble at all my Bella. I wanted to share something with you, something that we would always be able to remember." He said as the waiter brought over a bottle of wine. He gestured towards their glasses and they were soon filled. They perused the menu, choosing to share their entrees and spilt an appetizer. Edward shifted in his seat as he watched Bella lick the butter from her lips after devouring the shrimp scampi. Bella was forced to do the same after watching the way Edward savored a bite of filet minion, his jaw flexing each time he chewed. Finally they finished their meal and Edward suggested they head out to their cottage to enjoy a drink before bed. They walked on the path towards their room, the early spring breeze bringing a sweet floral scent with it. Bella gasped as the cottage came into view. Twinkling lights hung from the trees overhead and a porch swing moved gently in the breeze. There was already a bottle of champagne chilling in a silver bucket and two flutes sitting nearby.

Bella helped Edward get the champagne poured into the glasses and held them both while he grabbed a soft blanket off of the swing to keep their legs warm. They sat together, swinging gently and sipping their drinks. Bella was startled when Edward placed his glass back on the table and got up off of the seat. Bella's hand tightened painfully on the delicate flute as he fell down on his knee before her.

"Bella Swan, I love you. I think a part of me had been waiting to meet you, so I could truly live. You have not only brought light into my life, literally, but have shown me what it means to live. I want to spend the rest of my life making sure that you have everything you could ever want. Will you please make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?" He breathed as he held up a breathtaking diamond ring. He had wanted a bigger one, but his mother, Alice and Rose had agreed that Bella would appreciate something smaller. He was staring at Bella, his hands getting shakier as she sat silently.

"Bella?" He whispered. She finally brought her tear filled eyes to his and nodded her head, forcing two fat tears to fall.

"Really?" He said as he stood from his position on the ground, bringing her up with him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest.

"I want to put this ring on your finger baby, do you think I can do that?" He laughed as he tried to nudge her back. She reluctantly released him and allowed him to slide the diamond on her hand. The twinkling lights made the stone dance and shine and she could not have stopped her happy tears if she tried.

"Edward, I'm yours. Will you…will you have all of me tonight?" She whispered against his lips as she kissed him. He said nothing, choosing instead to sweep her up into his arms and walk into the cottage. He could feel her trembling slightly as he walked into the bedroom. Candles were lit on every flat surface and the windows were open, letting in the twinkling lights from outside. He laid her down on the bed and stepped back. His hands shook as he slid his jacket down his arms. His fingers fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, but they were suddenly stilled as Bella placed hers overtop his. He looked down at her, startled to see she had taken off her dress at some point. She sat before him in just her sheer pink bra and panties, and a smile. She was not nervous, because she knew that they were about to show each other how much they truly meant to one another. How could anyone be nervous when it felt so right?

She slid the buttons open and pushed his shirt off his shoulders, allowing her hands freedom to trace the ridges of his chest and abdomen. Her hands made quick work of his pants and hesitated only a second before pushing them down. He bent down to take off his shoes and socks and stood before her in just his boxer briefs. He took her face in his hands and rubbed his lips across her cheeks, placing gentle kisses on her nose. His hands slid down her spine as he moved his body over hers onto the bed, forcing her to lay back. Their eyes stayed locked as his hands took care of her bra quickly, sliding it off her arms and tossing it clear across the room. She sighed as his hands took possession of her breasts, pushing them together and finally breaking eye contact when he bent down to tug one of her nipples into his mouth. Her back arched up off of the bed and her hands moved down his back to claw into the muscles of his rear. He growled against her flesh as he moved from one nipple to the other.

He abandoned her breasts as he moved down her body, nipping and licking at the delicate flesh of her belly. Her hands anchored themselves into his hair as his nose slid against the crease where her hip met her thigh. He inhaled deeply as her legs widened to accommodate his shoulders when he settled between her thighs. He had spoken to Emmett and Jasper in detail about how this evening should go. He knew it was virtually impossible for Bella to climax during their first time together, but wanted her to feel as much pleasure as she could before they proceeded. His mouth watered as he slid her panties down her thighs. His fingers eased back up from her ankles, spreading her wide in front of him. Her breathing hitched, but not in fear or embarrassment. She trusted Edward completely.

His fingers moved through her wetness, targeting the little spot that drove her wild, his tongue joining in, bringing her to her peak. Her back vaulted completely off the bed as his mouth suctioned onto her flesh. She was chanting his name over and over as his fingers slid inside of her, curling to hit the spot that sent her flying every time. When her body finally settled, he slid his briefs off and moved over her again. He loved the way she was always ravenous for his kisses after he brought her pleasure. She could feel him, hard and bare against her thigh and knew she was ready. He shifted until he could feel his tip run through her heat and his hips moved forward instinctively. They had spoken about contraception when Bella had her annual Gynecological appointment and they decided she would start birth control pills, just as a precaution. Now he was thankful there was no barrier to keep her flesh from his. Her breath halted as she felt him press into her. Edward had thought he knew all about pleasure, from Bella's hands and mouth, but as he delved deeper into her warmth, he realized he knew nothing about pleasure at all.

He felt her body tense as he pushed forward, eager to become fully sheathed within her. He eased back and looked at her, hating the way her lip was clenched tightly in her teeth. He sucked on the skin of her neck and ran his hand into her hair.

"Bella, baby, do you want me to stop?" He whimpered and as he processed exactly what he was offering her, he realized that he would stop, if that was what she wanted, even if it killed him.

"No Edward, keep going. It will only hurt for a minute and then I will belong to you completely." She said tightly and prayed that what both Alice and Rose had told her about their first time was true. Edward breathed a sigh of relief as he pressed forward again, this time not stopping until he was fully sheathed inside of her. Her tiny yip of pain barely made it into Edward's consciousness as the feeling of being inside Bella consumed him. He was able to stay still momentarily as he leaned back to see how Bella was. Her eyes were closed tightly and her breaths were shallow pants. He kissed her lips and cheeks, willing her to relax and open her eyes.

"Bella… look at me." He whispered. Her eyes fluttered before they opened and met his.

"Watch baby, watch what you do to me. I belong to you." He said as he pulled his hips back and gently thrust into her. Her eyes widened, but thankfully not in discomfort as he drove into her again and again. She was in awe as she witnessed him coming apart above her. His arms shook and sweat bloomed across his back and chest. His eyes never left hers but became more and more unfocused as he got closer to his release. She leaned up and spoke into his ear.

"I'm yours Edward, in every way." His world exploded around him as he spilled inside of her. He collapsed against her, and she relished the feel of him. He moved to the side, gathering her against him and, after kissing her senseless, they both fell asleep.

()*()

The smell of breakfast from the lodge drifted in through the still open bedroom window and Edward's stomach growled loudly. He chuckled nervously against Bella's hair as he slid his hand from where it lay low on her belly up to her shoulder to pull her back into his body. He expected the sun to be out today, but there was no light streaming through the open window at all. He blinked rapidly as he tried to find the digital alarm clock in the darkness, but the gloom remained. He felt Bella shift next to him and he was instantly alarmed as to why it was still so dark.

"Ummm, that breakfast smells wonderful. Do you think we could arrange for room service because I really don't feel like leaving this bed?" Bella sighed as she stretched in Edward's embrace, she expected to feel the proof of his early morning arousal, as she did most mornings, but was surprised to find him limp against her. She turned in his arms and looked up at him, petrified that she had done something wrong. His face showed no emotion at all. He started unblinking at the wall behind her, but she could tell something was terribly wrong.

"Edward, baby, what is it?" She whispered as she reached up to tip his head down to hers. She gasped when she met his unseeing eyes.

"I can't see."

**A/N: Um, shit I am sorry to those of you who did not want this to happen, but it has been my plan from the start. Still love me?**


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: Okay…here is the second part of your Thanksgiving twofer. If you did not get the alert, I posted chapter 23 yesterday and that was not one you are going to miss. You will be really confused if you don't read that first. This is a short one, but everything that needs to be said was said. Dalloway5906 did not get a chance to look this over since I just decided to post it today, so forgive any mistakes. **

**Ummm...yeah. Nervous about posting this, but it needs to be done.**

Bella sat still on the bed, her arms holding the sheet tight across her bare chest. She had hoped for a morning full of passion and sweet words after what they shared last night. Now she sat across from someone she barely recognized. Edward was running his shaking hands through his hair, trying to figure out what had happened. He had never been as happy as he had been the previous night. Bella had agreed to marry him and they gave themselves to each other, and it was beautiful. Now, the morning light brought only pain and disappointment. He could not find it in himself to pretend that everything was fine. He had tried a relationship before when he was blind and knew how it would end up. He was petrified that Bella would leave him. She should, what could he offer her? She had only known him as a seeing person, now he was truly blind. He turned from her, setting his feet on the floor. He could feel her shifting behind him and then felt her press her warm body against his naked back, her arms wrapping around his chest.

"It will be fine Edward. You have been dealing with your blindness for years now and have done a wonderful job. We just need some time to adjust…" She breathed into his ear, but instead of her encouraging words, all he could hear was the undertone of disappointment in her words.

"Fine? You think this will be fine? I can't see Bella. I can't see you…I can't see anything. How will we adjust to this?" He yelled as he jumped up from the bed, spinning on his heels to glare at her. He hated that he was taking this frustration out on her, but he had no other outlet.

"You did fine before not being able to see, and I am here with you now, I am not going anywhere…" She said, her voice cracking as her emotions got the better of her. She hated seeing him like this, so angry and resentful.

"You say that now, but what kind of life can I give you? I can't give you children because I can't see to take care of them. I can't drive if the roads get snowy or if you get tried. I am barely a man." He yelled, spinning around in search of his clothes or anything to put on. He hated that she was witnessing his breakdown. He heard her shift off the bed and put his hand up to stop her.

"Maybe we should just go back home." He said as his hands finally landed on his suitcase and he threw it open, grabbing the first thing his fingers landed on. As he struggled into the shirt, he felt her hands on his chest, hating that the spark of electricity was there, but the rush of sensation was gone.

"That's my shirt Edward." She said, emotion evident in her voice. She removed the clothes from his hands and replaced it with his boxer briefs and a shirt. She walked slowly to the bathroom, her own clothes in hand and closed the door. She looked down at herself, stunned to see the blood on her thighs. She tried to remember if Edward had any on him, but was drawing a blank. She though she should check before he got dressed. Maybe a nice shower together would make him feel better. She cracked the door, searching the room for him. He was standing against the far wall, cell phone in hand.

"Emmett, can you please meet me at my house in two hours. No, I'll explain when you get there. Please?" He spoke quietly into the phone. He was already making plans to leave her. She turned back around and started the water. She stood under the hot spray, allowing her tears to spill unchecked down her cheeks. When her body was clean and numb, she pulled herself from the water, forcing herself to get dressed and dry her hair. She plaited it, forgoing any make-up since the one person she wanted to look nice for, was already gone.

Edward arranged their check-out from the phone in their room and waited patiently while Bella loaded their bags into the car. He held her arm loosely as she guided him down the path and into the car. She could not hold in the sob as she walked around the car, feeling him pulling away from her already. Where he usually was the first to touch her during their car rides, he held his hands clasped tightly together in his lap, staring blindly out the windshield. Not a word was spoken during the hour long journey, Bella trying to keep her tear filled sniffs quiet. Edward was not stupid, he knew she was crying, but he assumed it was because she realized it was over. Why would she stay with him now? She would leave him the first chance she got. The next time he accidently bumped into something and it broke or when he ran into her and she got hurt. Alice and Emmett were covered in bruises the first few years of Edward's blindness. It was incredibly difficult to be around someone who could not see if you were even in the room. Emmett suggested they make Edward wear a bell, but that was shot down pretty quick.

Bella pulled into the garage, closing the door behind them with the remote and turning off the ignition. She hesitated to speak, knowing her voice would betray her. She instead decided to get out of the car and start unloading their belongings. Edward sat in the silence, wondering if it was better to leave before she left him, if it would save him the heartache if he was the one walking away. He decided he would stay, realizing he would rather spend a few more months with her than be without her. He would give her the house when she left him, he built it with her in mind. He would return to his parent's house, they would take him back. He heard a honk from outside the closed garage doors and got out of the car and carefully made his way into the house. He could not hear Bella, but shouted to her none the less.

"Bella, baby? I am heading out with Emmett for a little while. I'll be back soon." He yelled from the bottom of the stairs. He expected her to come down and say good bye, but all he got was a mumbled 'okay' from somewhere in the vicinity their bedroom. He walked slowly down the front steps and towards where he heard Emmett's car idling. He pulled open the door and sat down.

"Edward, man what is going on? Did you hurt her or something? Did she not like the ring? You look like shit." Emmett rambled, refusing to put the car in drive till he got some answers.

"She is leaving me."

()*()

"He is leaving me." She cried as soon as she heard the bedroom door open. She assumed she would be over eventually.

"What are you talking about?" Rose asked quietly as she sat down on the bed next to where Bella lay huddled under the blankets. She rode over with Emmett and snuck out of the car before Edward had emerged from the house. If he needed to escape that badly, Bella certainly needed someone to talk to.

"He can't see anymore and I think he resents me for it. I know he realizes now that without me allowing him his sight, I have outlived my usefulness. He never really loved me, not like I love him. Last night was so beautiful Rose, the lights and the champagne and his words. Then this morning he starts pulling away from me. He won't touch me and as soon as we set foot inside the house, he has Emmett here to pick him up. What am I going to do? I burned my bridges with Charlie because I thought Edward and I would be together forever. I don't make enough to afford a place of my own. I want to stay here, with him." She cried, twisting her engagement ring around and around. The covers were pulled off of her roughly and she raised her tear filled eyes to the furious blonde amazon standing above her.

"You get your ass out of this bed now and fight. You need to fight for what you want. I could have so very easily lost Emmett when I was away…if not for you. Alice could have lost Jasper…if not for you. I will not let you huddle under these covers and just accept whatever he decides. I was with him when he picked out your ring. That man loves you more than anything else in this world. He must just have his head shoved up his ass, worrying about how he will provide for you or some noble shit like that. You need to show him you don't care if he can see or not. You want him just the way he is!" Rose shouted, pumping her fisted hand in the air. Bella felt her tears slowly dry in her eyes and her courage strengthen. She could do this. She would fight for him.

()*()

"Edward, man I really do not think this is a good idea." Emmett said quietly as they made their way inside the building.

"Just shut up man. I have money and a valid picture Id. They can't deny me service." Edward said as Emmett guided him towards the stool. He folded his hands on the top of the bar and listened to the bartender come closer to where they were.

"What can I get you guys tonight?" He asked, curious as to why the Cullens were slumming it in his bar.

"I'll have a beer, whatever you have on tap. What do you want Edward?" Emmett asked, turning towards his brother.

"I'll have a Bacardi 151 and coke, light on the coke." Edward said confidently. As with everything else in his life, he researched what would get him drunk the fastest so he would not have to think about what might be waiting for him at home and what he was contemplating doing after he finished his drink. Emmett gawked at his brother while the bartender shrugged and turned to get their drinks. Feeling his brother's eyes on him, Edward turned.

"What?"

"Are you trying to make sure you spend the night puking your guts out?"

"No, I am trying to forget. Isn't that what alcohol is for? To forget?"

Emmett just shrugged his shoulders and turned back to the beer that was set down in front of him. After the rum and coke was delivered, he guided the glass into Edward's hand and watched as his brother leaned his head back and downed most of his drink. He could see the shudder rock through his body as the alcohol burned its way down his throat and silently said a prayer that his little brother would not be visiting the porcelain God later that evening.

It only took thirty minutes for Edward to be completely hammered. Emmett would have thought it was funny if not for the glistening of tears in his eyes. Edward leaned close to Emmett and whispered in his ear.

"Do you see any eligible ladies in the room?" Emmett nearly fell of his stool and clenched his hands into fists to keep from bashing Edward up alongside the head.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" He growled quietly, watching Edward sway on the stool.

"Well, I am thinking that maybe Bella was not a one time thing. Maybe there is another woman out there who could give me my sight back." He slurred, a tear sliding down his cheek.

"And is that what you want, being able to see but spending it with someone other than Bella? I thought you wanted to spend your life with her?" Emmett snarled, thinking of when he had tried the same exact thing to forget his own heartache when Rose was away, and how Bella saved him from making that mistake. Now it was his time to protect her.

"No Emmett, I just want her, no matter what. I just can't believe I will never really _see_ her again." He sniffled. They sat for a while longer but when Edward started singing about his broken heart, he paid their tab and guided him out to the car. He had texted Rose earlier and got the low down from Bella's side. He wanted to rip his brother a new one for the way he was treating Bella, but he knew Edward was just as afraid as Bella was of what the future would bring.

Edward had lapsed into silence during the drive and Emmett was worried he might have passed out. But as he pulled up to the house, Edward suddenly fumbled for the handle with one hand, the other clamped tightly across his mouth. He managed to get the door open before he spewed all over the driveway. The front lights came on and both girls came out onto the porch. Rose laughed loudly at Edward's misery while Bella stood quietly, her arms wrapped around herself. She wanted to run to him, to make sure he was alright, but her pain kept her rooted to her spot. Finally done, with Emmett's help Edward made his way up the steps. The girls moved back into the house following in the wake of the moaning Edward and the silently laughing Emmett. He flopped the limp Edward down on the couch and one arm came up across his eyes. Edward extended his hand, praying that Bella would take it and help sooth the pain squeezing his chest. His hand stayed out, shaking slightly while Bella debated. She looked from Rose to Emmett, knowing by their expressions that they expected her to take the first step towards fixing their relationship.

Edward exhaled loudly as he heard Bella shuffle over to where he lay. When her fingers tangled with his, he bit his lip to stop the sob that wanted to burst free. She sat down next to him and watched as a tear worked its way down his face. His breathing was haggard as he imagined a lifetime without Bella's touch.

"Please baby, I'm sorry for the way I acted this morning. I'm just scared that you would leave me now that I can't see. I love you, more than anything else in this world. Please forgive me and let us move forward. I built this house for us, I can't live here without you." He breathed, pulling on her hand as he tried to encourage her to move towards him.

"I think…I think I need some time Edward." She whispered before pulling her hand from his and running up the stairs. There was no way she could forgive him and go back to the way things were if he doubted her love and devotion the way he obviously did. Although it shattered her soul, she had to go, at least for now. Rose gasped loudly as she watched Bella run, wondering where the fight had gone. Emmett turned and watched his little brother crumble before him as he listened to the love of his life run away from him.

**A/N: Update coming next week. Only three more chapters and an epi left. :(  
**


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: Not Mine**

**A/N: I tried to send out teasers to those of you who reviewed last chapter. I apologize if I missed you. I am once again blown away by the response to this story. I love each and every one of you who stop by and read it. This is a great chapter in my opinion. It hurts so good. **

**Dalloway5906 has been a mess of busy and has not gotten a chance to read this one over. She has all of the rest of the chapters and the epilogue in her hot little hands, but has not been able to read them yet. I am on pins and needles waiting to see her reaction.**

**Remember, this story is rated M for a reason. I had very little control over Edward in this chapter.**

**Enjoy!**

The next three days were hell for Bella and Edward both. Bella stayed in their bedroom, only coming out occasionally to get something to eat and when she needed to go to work. Edward had closed himself off in his studio, not even coming out to eat. Bella looked through the fridge and cabinets each night when she got home from work and nothing was ever gone, he was not eating. She would prepare a tray at night and leave it at the bottom of the steps, her heart breaking each time she opened the door and listened to the mournful music he was producing. It sounded like he was composing music for a funeral, and she knew he was, the death of their life together.

He had not trusted her enough to stay. He had not thought her love was strong enough to see them through anything. Had they not survived Tanya and Irina's attack? Their relationship was strong, she only wished he would realize it.

The school year was ending, only a handful of days remained and she had no idea what she was going to do with herself during the summer break. She had been approached by Emmett and Rose, asking if she would be willing to volunteer as a counselor to the kids they worked with at the center. She was hesitant to make a decision, because she might need to work in order to afford an apartment if things with Edward did not improve. She wanted nothing more than to be able to accept Emmett's offer because she knew there were many kids that came through the center's doors that could use her help. Rose had been doing her best to talk to most of them, but she only had experience with being the bully not the bullied.

She lay in bed that night, her third night without Edward by her side and listened for his footsteps on the stairs. She had awoken several times over the past nights with nightmares, only to find Edward asleep in the chair by the window. She never knew when he would come down, but she was going to try and stay awake till he arrived. She lay quietly, staring at the ceiling, her mind flashing through what could have been her future. The holidays, moving from one house to another, the smell of cinnamon and the laughter of children in the air as they opened gifts and carved turkeys. She thought painfully of the child she once envisioned, a bronzed haired little boy with bright green eyes, just like his father. She was not an idiot, she knew it would be difficult for him to help her care for their children with his blindness, but other people did it, why couldn't they? She was nearly asleep, the vision of their son curled up on her chest lulling her, when she heard the creaking of the steps. She lay still, regulating her breathing so he would think her asleep. She watched him move into the room, his steps halting. His breathing was ragged as he made his way to the bed. He sobbed quietly as he knelt down next to the bed, his hands fisting in the comforter. She did not have to keep her eyes closed, since he was unable to see her anyway, and she took the opportunity to look at him. The silver light from the moon slid across his face, making the stubble on his cheeks even more evident. His cheekbones were sharper, a testament to the fact that he was not eating enough. His hair was a riot of waves, showing how often he must be abusing it with his hands. A tear slid down her cheek as she realized that she was causing him all this pain. She had just raised her hand to touch him when he started to speak, his voice a balm to her aching heart.

"I love you my darling girl, more than you could ever know. But this waiting is killing me. I can't stay in this house and listen to you move around, wondering if you are thinking about me. Every time I hear your car leave I worry that you are leaving for good. I…I have to go, somewhere…anywhere to try and be patient while you make your decision. I can't stay here and smell you and hear you and not be able to touch you. I understand you need time, and I'll give you that…as long as you need. My heart and body will be yours forever, there will never be another." He whispered brokenly and she watched as tears fell from his emerald eyes. He leaned forward and gently placed a kiss on her forehead. He stood slowly and made his way out of the room and back up the stairs. He forgot to close the attic door and hauntingly morbid music came floating down the stairs. He sounded like the Phantom when he finally let Christine go and mourned the loss of his love.

Bella flew from the bed and ran up the stairs, stifling a sob as she saw him folded over the keys of his piano, his cheeks wet with tears as he allowed his emotions to come out through the music. She walked over to him and laid her hand on his shoulder. His breath halted as he felt the warmth of her hand on him. He reached up and grabbed onto her hand like it was a lifeline, and to him that was what it was. He had been floundering in a sea of blackness since she told him she needed time to figure things out. Now, he had her in his grasp and would do anything to keep her there.

"I'm so sorry Edward, for putting you through this. I was upset that you thought our relationship would not survive your blindness. I love you, not the fact that you can see. You did wonderfully for yourself in the 13 years since your diagnosis, and together we can make a life, a happy life with each other. I just wanted you to be able to understand that." She whimpered as his hands tightened painfully on hers, as if he were expecting her to bolt at any minute.

"I know Bella, I was wrong. All I could think about was the things I would never be able to give you. To never be able to see you on our wedding day, or growing bigger with our child. Your face as you got older. It broke me. I'm sorry." He moaned as he twisted on the seat to envelope her in his arms. She buried her face in his hair, his scent calming her as his hands wrapped around her waist. His own face was pressed against her abdomen, praying that this was not a dream. Her hands wove their way into his hair and she tugged his face up to hers. She looked into his sightless eyes and vowed to never allow him to feel that kind of pain again. She lowered her mouth to his and kissed him gently. He sighed against her soft lips and she took the opportunity to thrust her tongue into his mouth. His arms tightened around her as she ravaged his mouth. His hands drifted to her shoulders, trying to bind her to him.

"Please…" She whispered against his mouth when she pulled away to breathe.

"Anything." He responded as his hands found themselves wrapped around her curls.

"Make love to me." She sighed and he immediately stood and yanked her up into his arms, not needing to be asked twice. She giggled when he all but ran across the room to where the unfolded futon sat. He released her legs and she slid down his body. His arms linked at the small of her back while hers tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck. She had a moment of panic when she looked up into Edward's sightless eyes. Edward, unaware of her anxiety, was focused only on getting her clothes off. He eased his hands under the hem of her shirt and pulled it up over her head. She shook her head, her hair flying around her face as Edward's hands started detailing her body. She relaxed as she felt his hands glide over her skin, realizing that he would always be able to 'see' her through his touch. She pushed her own hands under his shirt, against the hard muscles of his abdomen, loving the way they contracted at her touch. She leaned her head to the side as Edward latched his mouth to the delicate skin of her throat, his tongue and teeth ravaging her flesh. He pulled back slightly so she could strip him of his shirt. Her hands went to the button of his pants but he stilled them, bringing them up to his hands and dropping kisses all over her fingers.

"I need to memorize your body first. I need to learn what makes you feel good all over again." He whispered as he allowed his fingers to dip under the band of her panties, growling when he found her already damp. His fingers sifted through her curls, her flesh feeling softer and hotter than he remembered. Everything felt more intense than he remembered, but he soon realized that without his sight, he was relying more on his other senses to experience her. He kissed her lips, groaning as she opened to him, her tongue battling with his. She tasted of mint and vanilla and he wondered if he ever really appreciated that before. His fingers made their way up and down her slit, gathering moisture from her entrance and dragging it back up to circle his fingertip around her clitoris. Her hips shifted against his hand and she moaned into his mouth. Never before had he been so aroused.

He pulled away from her and slid her panties down her legs. He listened to her accelerated breathing and the sound of her body shifting against the plush fabric of the futon. He inhaled deeply and felt a growl rumble in his chest as he found he could actually smell her arousal. He crawled back up her body, dragging his blunt fingernails along the smooth skin of her thighs. Bella stared down at Edward as he made his way up the bed, amazed at the fire and longing she saw in his face. She had worried that with the loss of his sight, he would not desire her as much. It seems that it was exactly the opposite.

He pressed his lips over where her heart was beating furiously. Bella wrapped her fingers through his hair, urging him to move over slightly and take her painfully hard nipple into the warmth of his mouth. Not wanting to deny her request, he turned his head and sucked the stiff peak with his lips, his teeth tugging slightly. She cradled his head against her chest and, while he was distracted, used her freakishly talented toes to push his pants off of his hips. He raised his head from her breast and smirked at her.

"Impatient little thing aren't you." He laughed as he pushed back onto his knees and rid himself of his boxer briefs as well, laying back down over her and allowing her feet to push them the rest of the way down his legs. She could feel the moisture seeping from his erection as it pressed against her thigh and wanted nothing more than to taste it. When she pushed against him though, he resisted.

"It's my show tonight baby." He whispered as he slid his hands down her inner thighs and spread her legs wide. His mouth traveled from her breasts to her ribs, kissing and nipping each spot along the way. The closer he got to her heat, the harder his love bites got and the louder Bella's moans became. He had always been reserved in their lovemaking, always sweet, never forceful. He found he was unable to control the way her body affected him after days spent without her. She loved it, relishing in the fact that he desired her so much he was unable to control himself.

Finally at the apex of her thighs, he blew a stream of air across her moist flesh, holding her legs tight to keep her from squirming. It did not keep her from trying to closer her legs against the sensation and he chuckled as he felt her muscles fight against his hold. She dug her nails into his shoulders, wanting him to do something to ease the ache. He lowered his mouth slowly, savoring the way her body trembled as he got closer to where she needed him. His tongue gently ran circles around her clitoris and she cried out at the sensation.

"Is this what you want baby?" He rumbled against her flesh as he dipped his index finger inside the velvety warmth of her body. Her incoherent mumblings and the way her body writhed under his gave him his answer as he lowered his mouth to her sensitive nub again. His middle finger joined into the exploration and he soon had her hips moving to the rhythm he was setting. He curled his fingers slightly to locate the slightly textured spot that made her crazy, never once releasing her clitoris from his mouth, lips and teeth. Her moans got louder as she got closer. He laid his head on her thigh and allowed his thumb to continue with the friction against her clitoris.

"I can feel it. I can feel you cumming on my hand Bella. That's it, let go. I want to feel you cum on my fingers. God that is so sexy." He mumbled against her flesh as he scissored his fingers inside of her instead of thrusting them. Her inner walls clamped down on his fingers, making him unable to move them as his name fell from her lips. He could feel the rush of moisture as her body climaxed and he latched his teeth onto the sensitive flesh of her hip, sending a shudder through her body as she came down. He slid up her body, easily finding her mouth and capturing her tongue with his. His body was clamoring for a release, but he needed her to know how much he desired her. He dragged his damp fingers across her lips, followed quickly by his tongue.

"I can't get enough of your taste. I think I could live off of it." He moaned as his hips thrust against her thigh. She threw her head back against the mattress, reaching up behind her head to grab onto the slatted sides of the futon.

"Please…" She begged, her voice hoarse from screaming his name just minutes earlier. Her hips rose from the bed, encouraging him to take her.

"Please what baby? Tell me what you want." He encouraged her, needing to hear that she desired him just as much as he did her.

"Please…" She cried, her head thrashing against the mattress, needing him to fill the emptiness within her.

"Tell me." He growled as he allowed the tip of his shaft to slide through her moisture.

"You please…I need you inside me." She whispered as his mouth came crashing down on hers the second the words were out of her mouth. He eased himself inside of her, amazed that he did not explode immediately. Her walls contracted around him, already trying to bring him to climax. He rested his forehead on hers, regretting that he could not see the love in her eyes, but able to feel it through her touch. He pulled his hips back before thrusting into her again. Her thighs wrapped around his hips and she moved with him, matching his rhythm. He reached his hands up and untangled hers from the wood of the futon, griping them tightly as they moved together. He suddenly grabbed her hips and shifted onto his back, so that she was now on top of him. He urged her to sit up, moaning huskily as she moved and he slid deeper inside of her. He could picture her in his mind, her body flushed, her breasts bouncing enticingly as she rode him. His hands wrapped around her hips, shifting her against his body so that her clitoris would rub against his pelvic bone with each movement. When he was sure she got the motion, he released her hips and cupped her breasts, tugging on her nipples in time with her thrusts. He could feel the tickling of her hair on his thighs as she threw her head back, and he felt the tightening of her body on his shaft and not his fingers this time. Her rhythm faltered as her body fell onto his chest with the power of her orgasm. He gave himself up to the sensation and fell with her, his body exploding inside of her.

Bella lay panting on his chest, her hair covering them as they caught their breath. His hands ran up and down the length of her spine, reveling in the feel of her warmth against him. An hour earlier he thought he would never again experience this. She shifted slightly against him and he worried he had hurt her. She lifted her head and placed delicate kisses against the damp skin of his neck, working her way up to his mouth. He groaned into the kiss and she gasped as she felt him stirring inside of her.

"What you do to me." He smirked as he thrust inside of her.

"Ready for round two?"

**A/N: I apologize for Edward, he got a little raunchy. Remember that there will be a new chapter up each Saturday till the 25****th****, when the epilogue will post. Leave me some love and I will try and send you out a teaser.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: Not Mine**

**A/N: I tried so hard to send out a teaser for all of the reviews, but my computer crashed after I got half of them done and I did not get a chance to send out the rest. So I am sending out this chapter a little early as an apology. One more regular chapter to go after this and then the epilogue.**

**I am a little pissed right now at the readers of my beta Dalloway5906's 'Bittersweet.' She had taken a break from her regular posting schedule because her life was crazy and then when she surprises us with an update…no one reviews. You all have to understand that the only feedback we get from you guys is your reviews. When I say we live for them, I mean it. No one would continue to put themselves out there like this if not for you wonderful readers who take the time to review. **

**OK, rant over…please enjoy this next chapter, one of my favorites! **

As soon as Bella felt the warming rays of the sun on her bare skin she stretched her arms wide, reaching for Edward. She was disappointed when her hands came up empty. She sat up, gripping the fleecy blanket against her chest as her eyes searched the studio and her office. He was not there. Her heart beat painfully against her ribs and tears sprung into her eyes as she realized he was gone. She dropped her head into her hands and sobbed loudly. A crash in the stairwell, followed by a stream of curses had her whipping her head up and jumping naked from the bed. She looked down the steep staircase and found her love sitting dejectedly on the bottom step, what would have been a lovely breakfast in bed surrounding him. She wrapped herself in his shirt that lay discarded on the floor and started slowly down the steps, sitting on the step above him. He sighed loudly and ran his hands through his hair, disgusted that he was already making a mess of things.

"You do realize that even if I was still able to make you see, this would have happened anyway." She said quietly as she rested her hand on his bare shoulder. She hated seeing him so dejected.

"I know. I just wanted this morning to be special." He said quietly as he started to feel the steps around him, intent on cleaning up the mess he had made. She used her feet to kick away the plates and stacks of toast and fruit on the step next to him and slid down to join him. She tilted his face to hers, disappointment clearly written on his face.

"It would have been special if you have just kept your sexy ass in bed with me." She said as she threaded her fingers through his wild hair. She pressed her lips to his, intent on keeping the kiss light and sweet, but Edward had other ideas. He was furious that his proclivity for ruining things had sullied their morning, but the way Bella glossed over the mess made his body tighten and his love for her soar exponentially. Instead of berating him for breaking dishes and spilling orange juice as a girl like Tanya would have done, she dismissed the whole thing. She was perfect.

Edward slid his arm under her knees and hoisted her up against his chest, making his way back up the stairs. She squeaked against his mouth and her arms tightened around his neck as he knelt down on the floor, setting her gently on the sheep skin rug they had placed in front of the fireplace. Edward thought it was a tired cliché when they bought it, but now feeling the thick softness of it under his hands, he could only imagine how good it would feel against his bare back as Bella rode him. His hands fought with the shirt she was wearing, intent on getting to her skin. She laughed breathlessly at the look of utter concentration on his face as he stripped his shirt from her body, his breath faltering as his hands found her naked underneath. This was the first time they had made love in the daylight since he had lost his sight and she found that although she missed the way his pupils would dilate and his eyes widen as he looked her over, she loved the way she could stare at him unobserved. His face was an open book to his pleasure, and she could not stop reading.

His hands drifted down her belly, a finger plunging into her belly button making her squeal and him laugh. The laughter died as his fingers moved lower and discovered she was already wet and ready for him. He lowered his mouth to her breast, suckling the tight peak into the warmth of his mouth, making her back arch off the rug and him groan against her flesh as a fresh surge of moisture coated his fingers. He removed his hand from her, much to her dismay and circled his wet fingers around her neglected nipple, Bella watching the entire time. He slid his mouth to the other side and took her arousal coated crest between his lips, savoring the flavor. Bella though she would climax from the look of pure ecstasy on his face alone. Unable to take his seemingly eternal patience, she pushed on his shoulders, forcing him over on his back. She crawled to his feet and tugged his flannel sleep pants from his legs before moving up his body, her nails and teeth marking him as she went. His hands tangled in the thick pelt of the rug as her tongue ran circles over the head of his throbbing erection. Thankfully she did tease him long, near the breaking point herself. She straddled his hips, rubbing her drenched folds over his shaft and abdomen. His hands came up to guide her hips, attempting to find her entrance and thrust into her before he embarrassed himself by coming all over her. Finally she rose up and grabbed hold of him, leading him to where she was aching. She was thankful they were in a soundproof room with the noises they made as she slid down him. She propped her hands on his chest as she moved up and down, swirling her hips to find a rhythm that satisfied both of them. Edward's hands moved up to cup her breasts, his thumbs and fingers twisting her sensitive peaks until she was crying out and her pace faltering. He slid his hands around her body and twisted them so he was hovering over her, thrusting deep inside. He managed to keep moving while her body contracted around him and his name fell like a prayer from her lips, but as soon as she stilled under him, he let go. Watching the strong, powerful man above her fall apart made her body tighten and spasm again and they both were left panting and happy.

()*()

"I have to call Rose." Bella sighed hours later as they snuggled into the deep cushions on the couch in their family room. Edward had a book open in front of him, but instead of tracing over the Braille cells, his fingers were smoothing over the silky skin of her neck. They had spent the morning cleaning up the staircase and showering together, not wanting to part after their three day trip through hell. They had also spoken about their need for reassurance in their relationship. Now, feeling like they had all of their grievances aired, they were enjoying the lazy Saturday afternoon.

"I think we need to call everyone and tell them about our engagement. You know Alice will be going crazy wanting to help plan the wedding…if that is something you wanted help with." He finished nervously, not knowing how she would react to his spitfire of a sister taking the reins. She laughed and placed her hand against his cheek.

"Of course I want her help Edward. All I care about is that you are waiting for me at the end of the aisle and that there is cake." She chuckled, but her laughter died as she watched his face pale.

"What?" She whispered, still holding his face in her hands.

"I wanted to see you on our wedding day…so much." He breathed as he turned his mouth into her palm, her hand helping to hold back the sob that wanted to break free from his lips. She had no idea what to say. It was not as if he would eventually get his sight back and be able to see the pictures. Looking back it seemed that the stronger their level of intimacy developed, the worse his sight got. It was not until they were as close as a couple could be that his vision was finally gone. And there was no way she was regretting taking that final step with him. She never knew two people could merge into one until she made love with Edward.

"We'll make sure to describe everything in perfect detail. Besides you already know what I look like when I am deliriously happy, and that is what everyone else will be seeing." She whispered against his temple as she wiped at the tears on his cheek.

"I think there might be something else we need to celebrate with the family anyway. How about if I call Rose and you call Alice and your parents and we plan to meet here tonight?" She suggested as she pressed her lips against his damp cheek.

"What else do we need to celebrate?" He asked as he jerked away from her, his voice shaking and his eyes wide. She laughed lightly while inside she died a little. Was the thought of her being pregnant that frightening?

"Not us, Rose and Emmett. You go and call everyone while I call Rose." She said quietly as she untangled herself from him and took her cell phone to their bedroom.

"Rose, I think we need to party, don't you?" She said the second her soon to be sister-in-law answered the phone.

"When did you know?" Rose asked, shocked that Bella had discovered their secret. They had just had their ultrasound that morning and were taking some time for themselves before spreading the news.

"Do you not even realize how often your hands are on your belly you silly thing? It was as if you were trying to hold the baby before it was even born." Bella laughed and they launched into plans for the dinner party later that evening.

Edward chose to only tell Alice and his parents that they needed to tell them something, choosing to leave the news of the impending wedding as a surprise. They were all set to arrive at six and Bella was a whirling dervish in the kitchen as she scrambled to find something to cook.

"Edward, I need to go to the store for a few things, do you want to come?" She yelled up the attic steps as she shrugged into a sweatshirt.

"No baby, you go. I have this melody in my head I want to get down." He yelled as he appeared at the top of the steps. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked up at him, his shirt snug against the tight muscles of his chest, jeans encasing his long, powerful legs and his feet bare.

"Love you." He whispered as he ran his fingers through his hair, the shirt rising with the motion, allowing her a glimpse of his delicious abdomen. It took all of her willpower not to run up the stairs and ravish him, but he had work to do and she had Beef Wellington to make.

"Love you." She answered back as she flew down the stairs and into the garage. She smiled as she slid into her new car and backed out of the garage. The trip to the Safeway only took a few minutes and she was still smiling as she pushed the cart around the store. She wanted to make an apple pie for Jasper, since she knew it was his favorite. She pulled out her cell phone to call Alice to see if Benjamin was eating solids yet, but she dropped it when her cart collided with another. She looked up, her face red in embarrassment to see matching brown eyes and red cheeks looking back at her. She instantly looked away from her father, but her indifference towards him faltered as she took in the boxes of microwave dinners in his cart. When she looked back up at him, his face was flushed even further and his hand was rubbing against the back of his neck.

"Hi Charlie." She said softly as she picked up her phone from the ground.

"Hey Bella, you're looking good." He replied, still looking at anything but her.

"Yeah, Edward and I got back from a little vacation earlier in the week. We got engaged." She said quietly, holding her hand out for him to see her ring. He glanced at it and then away as quick as he could. Her heart ached with the realization that he could care less about what was going on in her life.

"Great Bella, just great. Glad things are working out so well for you. Let me ask you, did your future father-in-law have anything to do with the investigation the mayor is heading into the department?" He asked, his lip rising into a sneer as he finally made eye contact. She leaned back, shocked at his accusation.

"I didn't hear anything about that." She said, her voice rising in defense of Carlisle, who in the short time she had known him was more of a father to her than the man who's DNA she shared ever was.

"You honestly expect me to believe that he had nothing to do with me getting raked over the coals? You must have spilled your big mouth to him about the unnecessary overtime and money I took on the side, didn't you?" He demanded, pushing his cart to the side so he towered over her. Her first instinct was to shrink into herself and just take his abuse, but as she clenched her hands tightly together she felt her ring twist against her palm and knew that even if he was not here with her, Edward's love would give her courage.

"Maybe if you had not been such a lazy ass all these years there would be nothing to investigate. No, I did not tell anyone anything about the way you run your department, but I am not surprised that someone finally got wise to your half-assed leadership. You deserve to be booted out and I hope that when they do, you get the fuck out of this town, because there is no one who wants you here." She said as she pushed her cart down the aisle and out of sight. She leaned over the cart and breathed deep, trying to stem the tears that wanted to fall. She jumped up when she felt a hand against her back.

"Sorry, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I kinda overheard your conversation." Jasper said as he held his hands up before bringing one back down on her shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just hard you know, having your own blood detest you so much." She whispered as he squeezed her shoulder. She looked up at him and was so thankful to be surrounded by such caring people. She reached her hand up and tangled her fingers with his.

"I have realized over the past few months that I have neglected something. I never thanked you for everything you did to help me and Alice. I would not be here with my family if not for you." He said, his blue eyes bright with unshed tears as he thought about missing the miracle of watching his wife and child.

"Jasper, I just made a suggestion. You were the one fighting so hard to be here with them. And we could not be happier that you are." She said as she reached in and gave him a big hug. They separated, each covertly trying to wipe away tears.

"I was just going to call Alice. Is Benjamin eating solids yet?" She asked as they made their way through the supermarket together.

()*()

"Damn Bella, I think this is the best thing I have ever eaten." Emmett said as he pushed away from the table and patted his full belly.

"You say that every time I make something Em. I think Rose is going to get jealous of the affair you are having with my culinary skills." Bella joked as she rose up from the table to clear plates. She had taken off her engagement ring and stuffed it in Edward's pocket so no one would know the big news before they announced it. Plus, she wanted Rose and Emmett to share their good fortune first.

They retreated to the cozy living room, Benjamin entertaining everyone with his new sitting ability. Edward sat behind him on the floor, his hands poised to catch him if he started to wobble. They placed a pillow in front of him in case he tipped forward, since Edward would not be able to see him go tail over teacups. When Emmett stood from the couch and looking lovingly at Rose, Bella had to turn away so as not to alert everyone to the surprise with the tears that sprung to her eyes.

"We have an announcement." He boomed as he held Rose's hand tightly in his.

"You're pregnant!" Alice screamed, bouncing from the floor and throwing herself at her brother. Emmett caught her, laughing.

"Yeah, but that is not the best part. Its twins!" He shouted and everyone's jaw dropped, even Carlisle who was already privy to the news about the pregnancy.

"We found out this morning. It looks like we will have a ready made family, a boy and a girl." Rose said softly as she rubbed circles over her abdomen.

"When?" Esme asked as she sat down next to her daughter-in-law and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, knowing how much this meant to her.

"December, but they think I will most likely go early because of the twins." She said as she leaned into Esme's embrace and reveled in the love she felt.

"Not to try and shanghai the spotlight or anything but Bella and I have an announcement of our own." Edward said as he tugged Bella up to stand next to him. He turned towards her and took her ring from his pocket. He bent down on one knee and tilted his face up towards her, his smile blinding.

"Isabella Swan, this is the second time I am asking you this. I love you with my entire heart. I loved watching you bloom into the confident woman you are today and I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life watching you. But I would rather be able to listen and feel you next to me forever than spend just one more day seeing you. Say you will marry me…again." He said quietly and all of the girls in the room broke down in tears.

"Yes Edward, yes. I love you." She whispered as he placed the ring back on her finger, promising himself that it would never again leave her hand.

**A/N: Reviewers will get a few wedding teasers. Love you all!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: Hello all. Well, this is the end. The epilogue will post next Saturday – Christmas day for you who celebrate – any other Saturday to those who don't. I will suggest tissues for this chapter and the epi.**

**I tried to send out teasers to those of you who reviewed the last chapter, but fanfic was fail at letting me send out links, so I apologize to those of you who got weird messages or no messages at all from me. I posted the links of Bella's dress, the flowers, location, Edward's tux, the cake and Bella's lingerie on my profile if any one is like me and likes to see the visuals of what I was imagining. **

**Dalloway5906 has been AWOL and did not get to look this over, as much as I would have loved her to. She is my sounding board as well as my beta, so if there are errors or things sound fishy, I apologize. I hope the kids got my package Dally and that Mr. Dally was not too upset that there was nothing there for him. He knows I heart him anyway.**

**Ok, deep breath and here we go. Remember…tissues.**

Alice jumped into action and started planning Bella and Edward's wedding as soon as Edward released Bella from his embrace. They discussed location and flowers, dresses and favors. Edward excused himself to get a bottle of champagne out of the fridge and try to figure out what a nosegay was. He stood in front of the open fridge, allowing his fingers to trail over the contents until he found what he was looking for. He turned back to the counter and moved to the cabinet to find the flutes when he realized he was not alone in the kitchen. He waited for the visitor to speak.

"I always figured whatever made you two special would last forever." Carlisle said quietly as he spun the bottle of bubbly on the countertop.

"Well, I guess it was just not meant to be." Edward sighed as he pulled 7 glasses down and set them next to the bottle. He was not prepared to have this discussion right now. He knew Emmett had brought his parents up to speed on what had happened over the past few days, leaving out the news of their engagement. He knew he had messed up by leaving Bella in the first place, let alone even thinking about trying to find another woman. He knew his Dad wanted to tear him a new one, since he already thought of Bella as a daughter. And no one messed with Carlisle Cullen's daughters.

"You will take care of her?" Carlisle asked quietly, placing his hand on Edward's shoulder.

"As long as I live." Edward said vehemently, as he gathered up the glasses and bottle and made his way back into the world of tulle, satin and doves.

()*()

They had thought about waiting till after the twins were born to have the wedding, in respect to Rose who would be one of the bridesmaids, but Rose was having none of that.

"I don't care if it looks like I am wearing a circus tent. You guys need to get married already! No more living in sin." Rose joked as she pulled another satin monstrosity from the rack. Alice had dragged Bella to a bridal salon in Seattle as soon as she could. Bella in turn asked Rose and Esme to come with them so she would have some backup in case Alice tried to make her wear something ridiculous.

"Are you sure Rose? We just want you to be comfortable and enjoy yourself." Bella said quietly as she looked through the swatch book of bridesmaid dresses. She had no idea what she wanted for her wedding, since it was not one of her dreams when she was growing up. She never figured anyone would want her, so why plan for something that might never happen. Now she was adrift in a sea of hemlines, colors and shoes. Thank God for the girls or else she would be pressuring Edward into heading to Vegas.

"Ok Bella, come through here and we can start trying these on." Alice said as she pushed her into a mirror-less room. Rose and Esme took a seat outside while Alice helped her get into the dresses. After trying on at least ten different gowns, Bella was starting to get frustrated. 

"I look like a whale. Are you sure they really torture brides by making them wear white? I think a nice black dress would look much better." Bella growled as she thrust her hands through the arms of yet another dress.

"Yes Bella, it must be white. No you don't look like a whale, you are just being too hard on yourself. Now come on, I really think you are going to like this one." Alice said quietly as she pulled back the curtain and Bella walked out to show it to the girls. Bella avoided the mirror, choosing instead to try and read the emotions of her friend's faces. Alice looked smug, as if finally been proved right about something. Rose was smirking slightly, her hand over her mouth to hide her grin. Esme had tears running down her face and was trying to hold back her sobs with a tissue. Finally, unable to take the suspense any longer, Bella turned to the three sided mirror.

She started at her feet, which were encased in strappy, low heeled white and silver sandals. Those she liked. She dropped the hem of the dress and her eyes made their way up the skirt, which was a soft satin with a faint floral embroidery crossing it. The floral lace pattern curved over her waist and up to the neckline of the dress. The ballet neck with slight cap sleeves made her throat look miles long. He dress was off white, the embroidery a darker cream. When Alice stepped behind her and stuck a long veil in her hair, Esme could not stop the sob this time and Bella felt her own eyes filling as she looked at herself. She had never looked so beautiful and she could not wait for Edward to…

Bella suddenly found her legs would not hold her up as she realized Edward would not get to see her like this. As much as she thought she had accepted his loss of vision, there were still things that snuck up on her. This was one of them. All of the girls rushed to Bella's crumpled form and tried to comfort her.

"I'm sorry, I just keep forgetting he won't be able to see me." She wept, trying to dry her tears before any got on the dress.

"Don't worry darling, the same thing keeps happening to me as well. We will just have to describe it to him in perfect detail so he will be able to appreciate how beautiful you look. This is the one you know." Esme said as she helped Bella up from the floor. Bella smoothed her hands down the skirt and turned to her future mother-in-law.

"I know. Now how about we pick out what you two will be wearing. Orange right Alice?" Bella joked as Alice's faced turned a strange shade of puce at the thought of having to wear orange.

()*()

"I said no Emmett, I will not have our children's names rhyme or match. So no Jack and Jill, no Sam and Pam and for God sakes if you bring up Mulder and Scully again I will kill you." Rose growled as she folded the tiny t-shirts and put them in the drawer. Emmett had gotten all of the furniture down from the attic as soon as they got the news about the twins. They went out and bought a matching crib, but kept it in its box in the attic, hoping that they would be able to share the one crib for awhile. Emmett could not think of anything cuter than their two little babies all snuggled up together in their crib. It was a bit early for them to be washing and folding the babies clothes, but Rose and Emmett were getting restless waiting for their arrival. They had managed to keep busy with the planning for Bella and Edward's wedding, but with that only three weeks away, there was not much left to do. Their time spent at the center had decreased as Rose's belly increased. The doctor wanted her to take it easy as the pregnancy progressed, although she had no problems thus far. They were only nine weeks away from her due date.

"Who the hell plans a wedding so close to Halloween? How am I supposed to take this thing seriously when all I can think about are vampires and candy?" Emmett joked as he set the six foot tall giraffe in the corner of the room.

"They wanted to have the wedding before the babies were born, but leave enough time to plan it. I think it is a wonderful time for a wedding. I am just glad Bella was kidding about the orange bridesmaid dresses." Rose said, thinking of the beautiful crimson dress that was hanging in her closet. They had ordered it four sizes bigger than what she was at the time, and it looked like she was going to need every one of those inches, but she could care less. Every time she stepped on the scale at the doctor's office she could not help but smile. Her babies were growing well and that was all that mattered to her. Emmett was already talking about adding a gym onto the house so they could work out together after the babies arrived and she knew she would be able to get back to a healthy weight, plus breastfeeding twins would burn a ton of calories.

"Oh please little boy can you stop kicking Momma in the ribs?" She whimpered as she pressed her palm against her belly, urging the little soccer star to settle down. Emmett was at her side in a second, his own hands against her swollen abdomen as he cooed to their children. He had not been kidding when he suggested the names Mulder and Scully, but they did need to figure out names for the twins soon. He was tired of calling them baby boy and baby girl.

"What are you doing to Momma little Peter?" He tried, and was surprised when Rose's eyebrows lifted encouragingly.

"Peter?"

"Yeah, what about Peter Carlisle?" He suggested and Rose smiled softly as she rubbed her belly.

"What do you think little boy, you want to be Peter?" She sighed. "And his sister?"

"Charlotte, and we could use Lillian as her middle name." He said, proud of himself for doing such a good job.

"You really want to honor my mother by using her name for our child?" She sighed.

"It will remind us of how _not_ to raise our babies." He joked as he leaned up to kiss her.

()*()

"I'm nervous, I'm nervous, I'm nervous." Edward chanted as he paced through the hallway. His brother, brother-in-law and father were standing against the wall, trying not to laugh. This had been going on for the last 30 minutes and no one had been able to calm him down. Bella and the girls had been scheduled to arrive ten minutes ago and he was now convinced that she would leave him standing at the alter.

"Edward, man you know how girls are, especially when Alice is involved. They probably got held up with a lace emergency or something." Jasper said as he stepped in front of him and grabbed his shoulders firmly. "She is coming to marry you. She loves you more than anything. Just be patient."

"Ok, ok, ok." Edward said as he resumed his pacing. They had rented out the entire Lake Crescent Lodge, since they had enjoyed their first trip there so much. Bella had her heart set on getting married on the dock, and it seemed like the fickle autumn weather was going to cooperate with her wishes. Although if she did not get there soon, they might not have enough sun light left for the ceremony.

"Gentlemen, the ladies have arrived." Pastor Weber said as he peeked into the hallway. Everyone was already seated on the lawn, the white and red rose petals running between the chairs making an undulating aisle for the girls to walk down. Carlisle guided Edward down the path and stationed him next to the pastor. He went back down the aisle and escorted his beautiful wife to their seats in the front row. Rose was the next one down, her hands clasping her bouquet of white, rust and orange calla lilies against her belly. Emmett could not stop his wolf whistle as his gorgeous wife walked down the aisle and she blushed before raising a hand and flipping him the bird.

Alice was next leading an elegantly dressed Benjamin in a wagon. He was tossing and eating rose petals as they went and several times Alice had to stop to remove the flowers from his little mouth. Bella was the last to come down. She and Edward had discussed having Carlisle walk her down the aisle since her father was not an option, but she decided to go it alone. She had made her way though life alone before she met Edward, and now as she walked towards the man who made her life complete, she felt it only right she do it by herself.

Edward could feel when she got closer, and he extended his hand so she could grasp it. She handed her flowers to Alice and turned towards him, tears already shinning brightly in her eyes. He looked spectacular, the sun setting over the lake behind him, shimmering across the water and making his hair look like a fiery mane. His gray tuxedo looked amazing and the red calla lily in his lapel matched the ones in her bouquet.

"I love you." He whispered as Pastor Weber started to welcome everyone.

"I love you. Sorry we were late, Rose had to pee every five seconds." She answered back quietly as she turned her attention to the man who would join them together, forever.

()*()

"Please welcome for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen." The DJ shouted into the microphone as one of Edward's original compositions blared through the speakers. When Bella approached him about the music for the reception he had some very specific requests. They would be introduced to the fight song he had composed for the Oscar winning movie 'Face Punch' and they would dance their first dance to the lullaby he had written for her. Other than that as long as the chicken dance was banned, he was happy. Rose, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and little Benjamin made a path for them as they entered the large dinning room. Small tables were scattered throughout the room and into the glass fronted porch. The music and champagne flowed as did the laughter. The guests were all staying at the lodge for the night so the party continued into the early morning. After the bouquet and garter toss, they cut the cake and, even blind, Edward managed not to get a crumb anywhere but in Bella's mouth. Bella on the other hand, smashed the cake all over her new husband's face, much to the delight of the crowd.

Finally, ready to start their first night as husband and wife, they walked down the path amidst a shower of birdseed and bubbles. Their cottage was lit as it was months ago with candles and twinkling lights. Bella sighed as Edward's hands ran over the exposed skin of her shoulders and down her arm, linking their fingers together so that they could each feel the other's wedding bands. She walked backwards until they were in the bedroom. She tried to reach behind her to get to the zipper but Edward stopped her.

"I want to do that part." He whispered. His fingers stroked each inch of newly exposed skin, before pulling it off of her shoulders and letting it pool at her feet. She stood before him in her strapless corset, panties, garter belt and thigh high stockings, feeling every bit as comfortable as if she were wearing sweats. She pushed Edward's tuxedo jacket off of his shoulders and started on the tie. Edward's hands were busy discovering all of the secrets of Bella's lingerie, his breath faltering at the amount of skin that seemed to be on display. Bella soon had him in his briefs and stepped away from him to truly appreciate her husband. His hair was wild from his hands and glowed red in the candle light. The flickering light made the dips and hollows of his chest look even more mouth watering and the obvious bulge in his boxer briefs made her hands damp in excitement. She pulled the pins from her hair and set them on the table before grabbing his hand and leading him over to the bed. She lay down and pulled him so he hovered over her, much the same as he had months ago when they had first made love.

They laughed as Edward tried to open the hook and eye closure of her corset and then figured out the snaps that were holding up her stockings. Finally giving up, he just pulled the fabric roughly from her body and jumped on top of her.

"I can't wait, I'm sorry. This whole day has been one tortuous form of foreplay. Listening to you breathing next to me, hearing everyone tell me how breathtakingly beautiful you look, smelling you. I can't wait." He growled as he attacked her mouth. Her tongue fought with his, just as aroused as he was. Her fingers plunged into the waistband of his briefs and quickly surrounded his shaft. He moaned into her mouth as she traced the length of him, spreading the moisture that had already started to accumulate at his tip. His hands were wild against her flesh, unable to linger more than a few seconds at each spot before moving to the next. Her breasts, her hips, her throat and finally the warm, wet place between her legs that made her grip on him tighten.

"Please…" She whimpered as he began teasing her entrance with just his fingertips while his thumb pressed against her throbbing clitoris. Her hands were jerkily stroking him, trying to pull him towards her.

"Tell me, what do you want?" He cooed into her ear.

"Ugh…please I need you." She begged, tears springing to her eyes as the ache in her belly spread down her thighs. She though she might spontaneously combust if he did not do something soon.

"You need me to do what?" He teased as he moved his body up over her, thrusting his tip against her soft, moist flesh.

"Give it to me, give it to me now. Make love to your wife already!" She cried as she yanked on his hair, urging him to comply.

He could not control the way his body moved as he absorbed her words. His wife, he was about to make love to his wife. His hips thrust forward until his body was flush with hers, their moans of pleasure echoing through the room. They moved together, her hips rising off the bed to meet the force of his body against hers. The hours of foreplay brought them to the edge faster than usual and without warning Bella's body spasmed around him, her nails digging into his shoulders as she came. The squeezing of her inner muscles and the sounds she made pushed him into ecstasy. He collapsed onto her, and she accepted his weight gratefully. They lay together as their breathing settled and realized that if they wanted, they could spend the rest of their lives this way.

()*()

"I'm sure everything is fine baby. The tec just wanted to get the doctor's opinion before she sent us on our way." Emmett said to Rose as he rubbed her seemingly always aching back. They were in for their 36 week ultrasound to check the position and weight of the babies. As soon as the technician left the room, Rose knew something was wrong.

"Ok guys how about we see what is going on with these kids." Dr. Jenks said as he sat down at the ultrasound machine. He was their perinatologist and had been keeping an eye on their babies progress since Rose found out she was expecting twins. He pressed the transducer against her belly and they could see the fuzzy outline of their children. He looked around for a while, completely silent.

"We have a problem here guys. The little boy has decided that he wants all of the amniotic fluid and baby girl is suffering because of it. I can't get a good reading on Charlotte's fluid levels and I think it might be time to think about getting these kids outta there." He said as he rubbed the gel off of Rose's belly.

"But we still have almost five weeks to go. They aren't ready to come out yet." Rose cried softly, holding onto Emmett's hand tightly.

"I know it may seem a bit early, but twins are ready earlier than singletons so we will give you a steroid shot today to try and get their lungs ready and you need to come in tomorrow to get another one and we will see you in the hospital on Sunday to re-check your fluid levels. If things have not improved then we will do the c-section." He said and with a reassuring pat he left the room to get the shot. Rose looked into Emmett's face, tears streaming down her cheeks at the thought of their twins being born early.

"It's going to be fine Rose. We will just get to meet our new little guys sooner than we thought." Emmett joked while inside he was a wreck. Five weeks early, what did that mean? Would they have to go to the NICU? Would they have long term problems? He could not wait to get out of there so he could call his father.

The nurse came back in with the shot and injected it into Rose's backside. It stung like a bitch, but Rose would do just about anything to assure the health and safety of her children.

The entire Cullen/Whitlock family converged on Rose and Emmett as soon as they arrived home. Emmett had called his father in a panic while Rose was in the bathroom before they left the office and Carlisle had spread the word that they needed some support. Rose collapsed into Esme's waiting arms and Alice and Bella were around them quickly. Edward and Bella had rushed back from their honeymoon as soon as Carlisle had called, knowing that being there for Rose and Emmett was more important than spending another night in their little cottage on the lake. Edward had wanted to take Bella to a tropical island, but she wanted to stay close to home, just in case of a situation like this.

"Rose, Emmett I talked to your perinatologist on my way over here and he really thinks that everything will be fine. If the twins need to stay in the NICU it should only be for a short while. Granted it is not the ideal way for them to arrive, but it is better safe than sorry. If Charlotte's fluid levels get too low she could be in danger." Carlisle said as he handed everyone a drink. Rose's tears had dried, but she was still clinging desperately to Esme.

"They will be fine?" She asked, as she looked up at Carlisle, her voice rough with tears.

"They will be fine." He reiterated as he bent down and kissed her on the forehead.

()*()

"I swear to God Emmett you are never touching me again!" Rose growled as he pulled into the ambulance bay of the hospital. Rose had gotten the second steroid shot on Saturday and then they spent a quiet night at home, praying for good news when they had the ultrasound the following day. When Rose bolted up in bed at midnight, she smacked Emmett in the arm and went tearing towards the bathroom. Emmett was frantic as he followed her in, finding her sitting on the toilet.

"My water broke." She whispered. Emmett went right into panic mode and went tearing around the house trying to find his clothes and shoes, the hospital bag, and his car keys. Rose was calm as she got dressed, called her doctor and grabbed the bag she had packed for the twins. The car seats were already installed in the car so they did not have to worry about that. She sat waiting in the car for nearly ten minutes before Emmett came rushing into the garage, looking surprised to see her.

"I was looking for you everywhere!" He shouted as he threw the bags into the back seat.

"Where else did you expect me to be, out in the garden?" She laughed, but it was short lived as she felt her belly and back tighten with the first of her contractions. She squeezed the door handle as she rode out the pain, excited to be starting this journey, but petrified that something would go wrong. She looked up, expecting for the car to be moving towards the hospital, but they were still in the garage. Looking over to Emmett, she was worried they might not make it at all, he was pale gray and grasping the steering wheel so tightly she was concerned it might snap in half.

"Baby, everything is fine. Just start the car and get us to the hospital." She said calmly before being rocked by another contraction. Emmett sat silent through the second contraction in just a few minutes time. When Rose was able to speak again, she decided that he needed some tough love.

"Emmett Cullen, you start this fucking car right now and get us to the hospital so I can deliver our children safely and not in the middle of our garage." She growled and was proud when he turned around and started the ignition. During the 15 minute drive, Rose had four more contractions, each one stronger than the next. Everything she read during her pregnancy said that labor took forever for most women having their first child, but everything flew out the window when there were multiples involved. He rushed her out of the car and into the ER as soon as the car stopped and they were wheeled up to Labor and Delivery. Their usual doctor was not on call, but they were excited to see that Dr. Gerandy was there, who was the one to deliver their nephew, Benjamin. While Rose got settled in, Emmett called his parents and asked them to spread the word. Rose was already five centimeters dilated and the doctor was hoping for a quick labor. A peek with the ultrasound showed that both babies where head down, which was a good sign since Rose was hoping to avoid a c-section.

By the time everyone arrived, Rose had started pushing. Peter Carlisle Cullen was born at 5:25 am, weighing in at 5 pounds 6 ounces and 20 inches long. He was whisked off to the NICU just as a precaution, but was expected to rejoin his mother in a few hours. Esme was torn over staying with Rose or following Peter, but when the doctor started yelling and ordered everyone out of the room, her decision was made for her. Carlisle and Emmett were allowed to stay, but everyone else went down to the NICU to watch the nurses clean and dress little Peter. Esme cried into Bella's shoulder as she imagined the worst.

When Peter was delivered, it made more room inside Rose and Charlotte decided to twist and turn on her way down to the birth canal. It took all of Dr. Gerandy's years of practice to deliver the little girl safely, but that was what he did. Charlotte was taken down to join her brother and the family breathed a sigh of relief as her glass bassinet was wheeled down the hall. She was smaller than her brother, 5 pounds even and 19 inches long. She was the little sister by nearly 40 minutes. Rose was anxious but fine and jumped up from the bed as soon as the doctor told her she was allowed. Emmett escorted her down to the NICU and after a vigorous scrubbing of their hands, they went in to meet their children.

Peter was wide awake, staring up at the ceiling as he lay in his bassinet. He was dressed in a white gown with a bright green knit hat covering his messy brown hair. His bright blue eyes shifted to his parents as they approached and Rose twisted her hands together, wanting and needing to pick him up and hold him, but unsure if she was allowed. Right now she felt like they were not her children. A kind nurse, seeing Rose's anxiety, came over and picked up the little man. She gently handed him to Rose, a smile on her face as she saw the grateful tears in his mother's eyes.

"Daddy, I have a very bold little girl over here that would like to meet you." Called a nurse from the other bassinette. Emmett walked slowly to where she was holding a fussy pink bundle. She placed the tiny baby in his giant hands and walked away, leaving him to stare at his daughter in private. She was wearing the same white gown as her brother, but she had knocked aside the lavender knit hat she had on and her bright blonde hair was a riot around her face. She was the spitting image of her mother and Emmett rushed over to where Rose was sitting rocking Peter. He knelt down next to them and placed the now calm Charlotte next to her brother on Rose's lap. They nuzzled into each other and each closed their eyes, content.

Their moment of relaxation only lasted a few seconds before the NICU was inundated with a crowd of Cullens.

"Aww, look how cute they are."

"Charlotte looks just like Rose."

"Look at all that hair!"

"They are beautiful."

Everyone spoke at once, and the new parents beamed up at their family.

Rose and the twins were released four days later, coming home to a house full of family and friends. They excused themselves to the nursery and put their sleeping babies into their crib. Looking down at the children, they realized that without the stress and drama they had been through, they would not be where they were today, happier than they could ever imagine.

()*()

Jasper sat on the couch in the den, hiding out with Benjamin while the homecoming party continued in the rest of the house. He thought it was a bad idea bringing all of these people into a house here there were two delicate newborns, but when Alice plans a party, by God that party happens. That was why he had decided to camp out in Emmett's man cave until most of the well wishers had left.

Alice walked quietly into the den, her feet hurting from the hours of being stuffed into her Jimmy Choo's. She wanted to find her husband and son and go home. She was not expecting to find her men asleep already. Jasper was sprawled out on the couch, his feet propped up on the armrest. On his chest lay their wild and crazy 10 month old, his mop of blond curls falling across his face, moving every time his breath caught them. She wished for a camera, but instead tried to commit the picture to memory. She had yet to tell Jasper about her appointment with her doctor. She wanted to have another child, and thankfully Jasper had more sperm left. If everything went according to her plans, she would be pregnant by spring.

She sat down next to her boys and Jasper stirred slightly, clasping his son tighter against his chest as his eyes fluttered open.

"Hey darling. You ready to go?" He whispered. She grabbed a fleecy blanket off of the back of the couch and lay down next to him, covering all three of them.

"No. I think this is a mighty fine place right here."

()*()

"Oh I am exhausted." Bella grumbled as she made her way in through the garage, stopping in the kitchen for a drink. Edward followed in behind her, taking a seat on the stool at the breakfast bar. She pressed a bottle of water into his hand before sitting down next to him.

"That was fun, don't you think?" She asked, concerned by his silence. He nodded his head before returning his attention to the bottle of water.

"What's wrong?" She whispered, unable to take his silent brooding.

"Are you going to be happy?" He asked.

"Am I going to be happy? I am happy right now, so I can expect I will always be happy." She joked as she grabbed at his hand that was peeling the label from the plastic bottle.

"We can't have children." He said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes we can, if we want them." She replied, once again feeling the twist of the knife through her chest. It always made her worry that he did not want to have children with her, not that they could not. Did he think she would be a terrible mother? It was not like she had a very good role model. But the thought of bringing something into this world that was part her and part him, her teaching them to cook and instilling in them her love of reading and him tutoring them on the piano or showing them how to use the hanging bag in the gym, it made her heart swell.

"How Bella? How in the world could we have children? I can't see! I can't see a fucking thing. Do you know how I would feel if I fell while I was holding one of them, or if I was in charge of them and they got hurt? It would kill me." He cried before standing from the stool and striding out of the kitchen. Bella's chest hurt as she watched him walk away, once again doubting the strength and power of their relationship and of himself. She let him cool off a while before heading up the stairs to the attic office. He was seated at the piano, but his fingers lay limp in his lap.

"I want nothing more than to hear their first cries and feel their soft skin. But I can't imagine how I will go on knowing I will never be able to see what my child looks like. I was given a gift to be able to see you while I could. You should be happy you will always be frozen at 23 in my mind, never aging, never changing." He said as she placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Edward, I will do whatever you want. If we spend the rest of lives just us, I will be happy. You are all I need." She whispered, before throwing her leg over his and sitting across his spread legs. Her hands threaded through his hair and she tugged his face up to hers.

"I love you, with all of my heart. You made me a better person and continue to show me I am worthy of your love. Please know that you are enough." She whispered against his lips. She could feel the moisture of his tears against her skin.

"You have brought light into my dark world Bella. I never thought I could love someone the way I love you. I want to give you the world, but will you settle for my heart?" He answered.

"Forever."

**A/N: Awww… So sweet yet kinda sad. The epi is a monster and will be up next Saturday. I am hoping my kid will let me sleep in till at least 7am EST so look for it then. Love to you all.**


	28. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: So this is the big 'THE END.' I hope it lives up to your expectations. I really think I shoved a lot of info into it and it gives you a nice look into the future for everyone. **

**Since my best bud Dalloway5906 was unable to look over this, and I really wanted another devoted reader to see it before I sent it to you all, mad4hugh did us all a favor and checked it out for me. Her response to it made me squeal and I could not have asked for a better person to read it through before I posted it. She got it back to me in record time and I can't thank her enough for that. She did suggest that tissues were highly recommended. **

**I have a story I am working on (an angsty Priestward), but with our fourth child due in March, I would rather get it finished before I start posting. I hate it when you start reading a story and then it goes on hiatus (Like my 'Pills', which if any of you are reading – I WILL finish).**

**Please be aware of the POV switch towards the middle. **

**Now- go forth and cry! **

"Carlisle, did you make enough pancakes?" Esme shouted from the dining room.

"Yes dear, I made two dozen." He answered back as he balanced the platter of pancakes, a tray of bacon and the pitcher of orange juice while he walked through the swinging door and into the packed dining room. Esme stood, flushed and frazzled as she tried to tighten booster seats, resolve arguments and gather up flying silverware. He set the food down on the sideboard and tried to help Esme get Bree and Riley settled into their seats so they could feed everyone. The table was full with grandchildren.

Benjamin, Alice and Jasper's oldest was five and as the oldest cousin, felt that it was his job to boss everyone around. Peter and Charlotte, at four years old, were the troublemakers, always trying to get someone to do something they knew was a bad idea. Bree and Riley, Alice and Jasper's three year old twins were calm and quiet, a rarity in the Cullen household. And finally little Clare was Rose and Emmett's youngest, a precocious two year old. For some reason Carlisle and Esme thought it would be a nice idea to offer to take the grandchildren for the weekend so that their own kids could have a mini vacation. They had all arrived the night before and after a multitude of bed time stories, they all settled down into their rooms, girls in one, boys in another. Although the evening went well, the first child started calling for Pa and Esmom at six in the morning, making for a rough start to the day.

Now, with everyone stuffing their faces full of pancakes and bacon, Esme and Carlisle had a moment to enjoy a cup of coffee before the insanity started again. Esme realized that she should have taken Bella up on her offer to lend them a hand. Bella and Edward had planned to tag along with the other couples, but Edward was asked to work on the new Scorsese picture out of the blue, and you did not turn something like that down. The last time he had worked with Scorsese, it earned him a Grammy nomination. So while Edward was ensconced in his attic studio, Bella was left at lose ends. She has spent some time early Saturday morning at the Center she volunteered at over the summer, but there were not many kids there who needed her help, thank goodness. She had started full time at the school the year after she and Edward were married and while the hours were longer, she found that she was able to help many more children with her extended shift.

When Bella's phone rang, she was not surprised to find her mother-in-law on the other end.

"You need my help?" Bella asked without preamble. She listened to the sound of screaming and yelling in the background before Esme spoke.

"Yes please." She whined before hanging up to grab a flying lamp, saving it from crashing into the mirror on the wall.

Bella decided to walk the mile to her in-laws house, enjoying the brisk January weather. As much as she regretted not being able to join the rest of her family in their skiing vacation, she still had issues walking without adding in skis and snow-covered mountains. Plus she was nervous about Edward zooming down a hill without being able to see, although he assured her that he had done it many times before with the help of a guide. Thankfully they did not have to tempt fate since this job came through and they canceled their plans.

Bella could hear the screaming from the front porch and was assaulted with a tiny body as soon as she stepped in the door. She looked down to see the angelic face of Clare, tears streaming down her cheeks. She hoisted the child up into her arms and dried her tears.

"What happened Clare-bear?" She asked her niece when her whimpers slowed.

"I went pee in my pull-up." She whispered in Bella's ear, her tears starting anew. Bella pushed the little girls head onto her shoulder and walked down the hall to the bathroom under the stairs. Thankfully Esme had each bathroom stocked with all kinds of kid's products and Bella had no problems getting Clare changed. Clare took each accident so seriously because all she wanted was to be like her older cousins, especially Alice's Bree. All clean and washed, Clare again threw herself into Bella's arms, but this time there were no tears. As the tiny arms wound their way around her neck, Bella breathed in the scent of little girl. Clare's curly brown hair tickled her nose as she got more comfortable in Bella's lap. They rocked back and forth in the quiet solitude of the bathroom until Bella heard Clare's breathing even out. She stood slowly and headed out to find a bed for her little passenger.

The living room was empty and quiet when Bella came back down. She wandered into the kitchen, finding Esme leaning against the counter. She was covered in flour and what looked like silly string. Upon hearing her enter, Esme looked up, exhausted. She heard the thumping of feet on the basement steps before the rest of her nieces and nephews came running into the room.

"AUNT BELLA!" They screamed as they pounced on her. They all went down in a heap and she laughed as Charlotte dug her fingers into her ribs, their usual greeting. She loved these children as if they were her own.

"Ok, ok. Now how about we get you guys some lunch and then settle down to watch a movie. Clare is already upstairs taking a nap, so anyone who decides they don't like that plan can join her." She threatened as she got up off the floor and went to the fridge. The kids sat around the counter top as they watched their Aunt get all of the fixings out for their favorite, tacos. The older kids helped to stir the ground chicken as it cooked on the stove while Bella had the younger crew tear the lettuce and put the cheese and tomatoes into a bowl. When everything was finished, they moved their lunch into the dining room and Carlisle put on some salsa music to set the mood. Once everyone was stuffed, they moved into the living room and tossed all of the pillows and cushions onto the floor to make one big bed for them all to lay on. The minute Carlisle and Esme's heads hit the pillow, they were out. Bella put in the chosen movie and made sure everyone was covered before heading up to check on Clare. She was still sleeping soundly in her bed and Bella went back down to keep everyone in line while their grandparents caught up on some well deserved rest.

The excitement of the day must have caught up with everyone, because before Lightning McQueen even made it to the town of Radiator Springs, everyone was asleep. Bella cleaned up the kitchen and dining room and when that was done, sat down to call Edward. He answered on the fifth ring, which meant he was going to be grumpy. When he answered within three rings it meant he was not working on anything good. If it took more than three, you were in trouble.

"Yes?" He said as he picked up the phone.

"Hi baby, sorry to call and disturb you." She said quickly before he could jump on her.

"No problem Bella, just trying to get this section finished. Martin wanted it ASAP." He replied, his voice a bit smug as he name-dropped. He did earn it though, working hard for the last few years to build up his reputation as a movie score composer.

"I am at your parent's house helping with the kids. I think I will try and stick around through dinner and bath so no one loses a limb." She joked, already knowing she was losing his interest. He was terrible when on a deadline.

"No problem baby, I'll just find something here to eat. Come up when you get home?" He queried.

"Of course. Love you." She answered.

"Love you my Bella." He said before hanging up.

()*()

"More bubbles!" Charlotte shouted as she swam around in the sunken tub. The boys were corralled into the massive shower in the guest room while the ladies got to take a bubble bath in the tub in the master suite.

"No more bubbles or I will lose sight of Clare." Bella laughed as she tried to rinse the soap out of everyone's hair. The pizza dinner had been a huge success and they only had three ruined placemats to show for it. Tomato sauce was terribly difficult to get out of linen. They were now all squeaky clean and ready for a round of bedtime stories.

Bella curled up on the king sized bed, Charlotte, Clare and Bree surrounding her while Peter, Riley and Benjamin sat on the floor playing with cars and half-listening to the story. After the third request for another book went denied, she tucked the girls into bed and went to the boy's room to do the same. It would take a little time, but they would all be asleep soon. Checking in on her in-laws, who were crashed on the couch, she headed out towards home. The night had gotten colder and she pulled her coat closer to her. The house was dark with the exception of the attic windows, but that was no surprise. When Edward got to working he forgot everything. It was not like he needed the lights to help him see. She unlocked the door and flicked on the switch, bathing the room in light. She checked the fridge and found that Edward had neglected to eat, something he was known for when he was working. She made him a sandwich and grabbed two bottles of water and headed up to the attic. She could hear the haunting melody as she stopped at the door, waiting for the red 'recording in progress' light to flip off before she entered.

Tucking the bottles under her arm, she opened the door and set the plate and drinks down on her desk before moving over towards Edward's studio. He was bent over the piano, his fingers flying soundlessly as he trying to organize the notes in his head. She picked up the piles of discarded papers and tossed them in the recycle bin. Edward's printer was a special model that printed not only the musical notes but the Braille cells as well so he was able to double check his work. As she shifted the papers around on his desk, a colorful flyer caught her attention. As she read the front cover a shocked gasp echoed in the room. She turned towards Edward, the flyer clenched tightly in her hands.

"What the hell is this?" She said, her voice quiet but menacing.

He spun around, startled because he had not heard her even come in.

"Hey baby, what are you talking about?" He asked cautiously, not used to hearing that tone from her.

"I am talking about the flyer I just found on your desk. A vasectomy Edward, really? Were you even going to discuss this with me?" She seethed, throwing the paper across the room, hitting him in the chest. He fumbled with the flyer before just letting it drop to the ground.

"It was something I was considering. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to remember to take your birth control pills everyday, so I thought this would be easier." He said, trying to act calm and cool when he was feeling nothing of the sort.

"I thought we were going to talk about this. You know how much I want children, we have had this conversation nearly twice a year since we got married. I know you are scared, but please…don't do this to us." Bella sighed, remembering the way Clare had fit so well in her arms today.

"And you know the reasons I have for not wanting them. Can you imagine having to take care of them all the time when I am working like this? I could not even remember to eat today, let alone think about being responsible for anyone else." He shouted, rising from the bench to pace across the floor, his hands wreaking havoc in his hair.

"Edward, you work on two or three of these projects a year, and it is only for a week at a time. If I can't handle a child for three weeks a year by myself then I don't deserve to have one." She replied, some of her anger evaporating as she listened to the undertone of fear in his words.

"We can do this Edward. I want to have a baby, our baby. Please?" She sighed as she walked towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Can we do some research first? Read some blogs about other blind parents who deal with their children?" He whispered, pressing his face into her hair. She could feel a slight tremor rock his body at the thought of something happening to their child while on his watch.

"Absolutely Edward, whatever you want." Bella said, unable to keep the excitement out of her voice. She was tossing her birth control pills as soon as she left the room.

()*()

Bella tried very hard over the next few months to get everything ready. She and Edward read blog after blog from blind parents who had tons of great suggestions. After meeting with a local blind parents support group in February, he finally felt ready to try. She never told him she had been off any contraception since January. They both worked hard to stay positive when Bella would come out of the bathroom month after month crying. Rose was extremely helpful in dealing with Bella's constant mood swings, after all she had years of experience dealing with disappointment.

"I know it sounds like I am blowing smoke up your ass, but you need to relax. Get away for the weekend and just enjoy some time together." She suggested after another month went by without a positive test.

So early April found Bella taking a few days off of work and they traveled the short distance to their favorite spot, Lake Crescent. The Lodge staff knew them by name and had their cottage all ready for them when they arrived Thursday morning. They did not leave the room the entire weekend, and even though Bella was upset she had forgotten to bring her basal body thermometer to track her fertility, she was ultimately able to relax and enjoy their time together.

May was an extremely busy month for everyone. Emmett and Rose were opening a new center for troubled children in Forks since they found the one they worked with in Port Angeles did such a wonderful job with the neglected and unwanted children in the area. Esme was helping Alice start up her line of children's clothing, something she had been working on for two years. Carlisle was working overtime to cover one of his colleague's maternity leave and Jasper was in charge of the children, all of them, while the others were working. He could not have been happier though, he loved being a stay at home dad.

Edward's work on the Scorsese project had gone over so well, he was asked to work on the new Disney production, to the joy of his nieces and nephews. He was locked in his studio for days on end, only coming out to eat at Bella's insistence. Bella was too busy at work to worry about Edward's eating habits though. One of her fifth graders, Elizabeth, had been coming in to see her once a week for quite a while. They had discussed her difficulties relating to the other students and to her parents. She was slightly overweight in a home where that was looked down upon. She struggled to fit in and try to win her parents attention, but was only receiving rejection. Bella could see herself in Elizabeth and wanted to shake the parents to make them see what a wonderful child they had.

They had a standing appointment for Wednesday afternoon, but when Elizabeth did not show up Bella got worried. She found that Elizabeth had not been in school the last two days and a call home went unanswered. Bella began to worry and drove by the family's house on her way home that evening. When she rounded the corner and saw the flashing red and blue lights, her heart dropped to her stomach and she rushed from the car towards the house. She was stopped by a uniformed officer as she tried to cross the yellow tape.

"I'm sorry miss, no one can go in." He said, holding her arms as she tried to push through.

"One of my students lives here. Can you tell me what happened?" She cried, tears starting to form as she saw the ominous black coroner's van pull up.

"I'm sorry to tell you miss, but the call indicated it was a suicide." He said softly as he led Bella back towards her car. He sat her down in the driver's seat as she started sobbing. He told her he would send his commanding officer over as soon as he finished inside. She nodded numbly as she swiped at the tears trailing down her face. What seemed like hours later, the officer in charge came over to tell her that Elizabeth's parents had found her unresponsive in her bedroom earlier. Beside her were a note and a bottle of her mother's prescription sleeping pills. He handed Bella a piece of paper enclosed in a plastic bag. As she read the words, her tears started fresh.

_I don't want to live like this anymore. I can't seem to be able to fit in anywhere and as much as Mrs. Cullen tries to tell me that things will get better as I get older, things just seem to be getting worse. I really think that the world will be better without me in it. Please forgive me for leaving you such an unattractive corpse._

_Elizabeth _

Bella wanted to scream and yell. She wanted to find Elizabeth's parents and smack them until they realized what they had done. She wanted to go back to last week and do something, anything that would be able to make this poor girl see that her life was worth living, that things would indeed get better. But she knew there was nothing she would have been able to say to change her mind. To her, life was not going to get any better, and she took the only way out she could. Bella thanked the officer and gave him her card in case he needed any more information. She drove home in a fog and sat down at the counter in the kitchen, staring out the window.

That was how Edward found her two hours later when he finally felt he was finished with the score. He almost sat down on her before realizing she was even there.

"Bella, baby what's wrong?" He whispered, frightened that she was sitting unresponsive in the empty kitchen.

"One of my students killed herself." She said, her voice emotionless and bleak.

Edward had no idea what to say. He knew how important Bella's students were to her, especially the ones who were dealing with a similar situation as she had dealt with growing up. He figured actions were louder than words and wrapped her up in his arms, holding her steady as bone-shaking shudders rocked her body. She cried for the lost little girl who thought she had no way out. She cried for the hundreds of others like her that were going unnoticed and ignored. She cried because she wished she could help them all, but knew she could not.

Edward carried her up the stairs, setting her on the bed while he started a bath for her. He gently undressed her and set her in the warm water, bathing her gently as tears continued to flow. Getting her dressed in one of his t-shirts, he folded the blankets over her and lay down next to her, humming the lullaby he wrote for her until she fell asleep. Bella woke up with the faint morning light streaming through the windows. For a moment she forgot all about the previous evening and simply enjoyed the feeling of being wrapped in Edward's arms. Her impatient bladder pulled her from his embrace sooner than she wanted and she trudged into the bathroom. She huffed when she saw the empty toilet paper roll and bent over to get a new one. She pushed aside the blue box to grab a new roll, but the paper fell out of her hands as she picked up the box and started counting in her head. Her period was two weeks late. With all of the extra work and stress at school, it had completely slipped her mind. She turned and dug through the drawers, looking for the stash of pregnancy tests Alice had given her months ago when they started to try and get pregnant. Reading the directions over and over, she peed on the stick and paced nervously till the test was ready. Her heart was beating furiously in her chest as she waited. Looking down at the digital readout, she screamed with joy as she picked up the stick from the counter and went running into the bedroom, jumping on a still sleeping Edward.

"I'm pregnant!"

()*()

**EPOV**

Those words changed my life. I thought I would never be as happy as I was the day that Bella walked down the aisle to become my wife, but the morning she came running out of the bathroom screaming those words beat that. I can't say that I was not petrified as we made an appointment to meet the OB my sisters had used. I was worried for Bella, since she was still dealing with the stress of losing one of her students. She was tired all of the time and could barely stomach anything. After the appointment, the doctor helped to alleviate some of my worry by telling us that both of those were common symptoms in early pregnancy. Her due date was January fourth, and the date seemed like an eternity away and just around the corner at the same time.

Thankfully I had not committed to any new projects for the rest of the year, so I had plenty of time to spend getting the house ready for our new arrival. There were so many tips for blind parents to make the house safer for everyone involved. The main thing was making sure that the path was always clear, no shoes or bags in the usual walkways. They suggested having an overabundance of wipes, since I would not be able to see during diaper changes, I needed to just keep cleaning until there was no way anything could be left. They also warned to be prepared to get poop on you, which was freaking me out to be honest. It was one thing to get spit-up on, poop was totally a different thing.

Bella had been doing wonderfully as the pregnancy progressed. By the time August rolled around and she moved into her fourth month, she had started to show. I loved wrapping my arms around her and feeling the firm bulge of our child. We had the opportunity to find out the sex during her 20 week ultrasound, but decided to leave it as a surprise, much to the horror of the rest of our family. We did not care what it was, just so long as it was healthy. September started and Bella had to make a decision about whether or not to go back to work. She hated thinking of all of the kids she might be able to help before the baby was born, but worried how they would react when she had to leave them with another counselor in January. She decided not to go back to work at the school, instead choosing to work with Rose and Emmett in their new center. She did not need to work, I made enough to support us with just two movie scores, but she did not want to stay home doing nothing when she could be helping a child somewhere. I swear my love for her grew more each day.

When I first felt the movement of our child in October, I could not hold back the tears. It had not felt real to me until then, especially since I was unable to see Bella's body changing and growing. Every night, Bella would lay on her side with my head on her belly as I hummed to our child. She would swear that he or she would go crazy when I would start singing, no doubt recognizing their father's voice, but I doubted that. When she would eventually drift to sleep, I would continue to caress her belly and sing, unable to stem the tears that always came when I thought about the fact that I would never see this child. As excited as I was for the big day to arrive, I was also petrified.

Bella started decorating the house for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving. I think if she could have, we would have been eating turkey under the Christmas tree. She was a holiday freak and we had so many decorations I had to hire a company to come and put the lights on the house, cause there was no way in hell she was getting me up there. I had tucked away a few gifts for the baby, hoping that they might come early enough to be able to open them with us Christmas morning. I never realized my wish would come true.

The week before Christmas I was working on a new lullaby for the baby when I heard the sound of glass breaking from downstairs. We had installed an entire house intercom so I would be able to hear what was going on while I was working. Fearing the worst I ran down the stairs, calling for Bella as I searched each room. I finally tripped over something when I entered the kitchen, immediately dropping to my knees. My heart was beating out of my chest as I felt Bella's warm body lying unresponsive on the floor. I quickly grabbed the phone and dialed my father, somehow relaying the information to him and getting his word that he was on his way and would call an ambulance. I felt around Bella to try and see if she was hurt, and was disturbed by how much sticky fluid was around her. I could not see what color the substance was to know if it was just a spilled glass of milk…or blood. I held her in my arms, counting her shallow breaths as I waited for my father. I would not be able to go on if something happened to her, she was my life. I knew it was selfish and that if something were to happen to me I would want her to live her life and be happy, but I could not do that. If she died, so would I.

The front door slammed open followed by the quick footsteps of my father. He gasped as he came into the room and my heart plummeted. It must be bad. Then he started laughing and I whipped my head towards him.

"Edward…you have no idea. I am so sorry to laugh but it just looks so funny." He said as he bent down next to me and examined Bella.

"What is so funny?" I growled as I released her enough for him to place the stethoscope on her chest and waited for him to speak.

"Edward, you know how sensitive to blood Bella is. It looks like she fainted when she cut her finger on a jar of blueberry pie filling. That is what is all over the ground, purple goo. Both of you are covered in it." He laughed as she shifted around to check her legs, making sure she did not hurt anything else when she fell.

"Shit." He mumbled before I heard his footsteps running out of the room.

"Dad? DAD!" I screamed as I held Bella tighter against my chest.

He was back moments later with what sounded like the paramedics.

"Edward it looks like Bella's water broke and there is some blood in it. We need to get her to the hospital now." He said as he knelt down next to me and tried to get her out of my arms. I released her to him and sat back on my heels, praying for what felt like the first time in forever. I would do anything and give anything for her to be okay.

They would not let me ride in the ambulance with her, but thankfully by that time my mom had arrived and she drove behind it, the sirens making my stomach plummet. Why would they need the sirens to go five miles? I was pulling on my hair so hard I could feel strands in my fingers when I brought my hands away. I needed her to be fine. I needed both of them to be fine. They had already taken Bella up to labor and delivery by the time we got in and I was told I needed to wait until they had her settled till I could see her. Mom tried to get me to drink some tea and sit down but all I could do was walk around and make promises to a God I was not sure I believed in. Someone came out and told us they had to rush Bella in for an emergency c-section because her placenta had started to detach which was dangerous to both the baby and Bella. We were only two weeks away from her due date so they expected the baby to be fine. I wanted to go in and sit with her, but they said they had to put her under since things were moving so quickly. Someone would be out once the baby had been delivered, he said. I walked to the end of the hall, as close to the operating room as I could get and slid down the wall, my face buried in my hands.

Emmett pulled me from the floor and all but threw me into the on-call shower and when I was presentable, handed me some hospital issued scrubs. I returned back to my spot not five minutes later and tried to remember how to breathe. An eternity later I heard the electric doors open and the sound of footsteps. I was surrounded instantly by my family, but all I was listening for was Bella's condition.

"Congratulations Mr. Cullen, you have a beautiful, healthy little girl." The nurse announced and everyone around me cheered. I was just waiting for news on Bella.

"And my wife?" I whispered, speaking only loud enough to be heard over my family.

"They are still working to control the bleeding. Unfortunately when the placenta detaches like that, it can be hard to get the uterus to start clotting. Dr. Gerandy and your father are working on her. I can show you down to the nursery so you can meet your little girl if you will just follow me." She said cheerfully, as if she had not just shaken the foundation of my world.

"No." I whispered, shaking off the arm that was trying to pull me to my feet.

"Edward, come on man. You need to come meet your little girl." Emmett said, as he crouched down next to me with his hand on my shoulder. I pushed against his chest, sending him sprawling across the floor.

"I said no! There is no way I am going in there to meet her until Bella can see her too." I yelled as I struggled to my feet and turned around to face the wall, my head leaning heavily against the cool drywall. I could hear one of the girls crying behind me and the hushed voice of someone trying to sooth them. Damn it, did they not understand that I could not do this without Bella. She was the reason we were even having this baby. I wanted to give her everything she wanted, and she wanted us to have this child. How could I take care of her without Bella? Without her I had no heart.

Everyone headed down the hall, with the exception of Jasper, who stood next to me while I sobbed quietly against the wall.

"You know this is not what she would want. She would want you in there making sure your baby girl was safe and happy, not out here." He said softly.

"I can't do anything without her Jasper." I said, my voice gravely.

"Edward?" I whipped my head up towards the sound of my father's voice. He walked over to me and I could feel his face inches from mine.

"Is she?" I cried, as his hands came up to my shoulders.

"She is fine. It took longer than we thought to get her bleeding stopped and we had to give her a transfusion, but she is in recovery now and should be taken to her room in the next thirty minutes." He said, a smile creeping into his voice. My legs wobbled beneath me and I flopped down to the ground in relief.

Forty minutes later I had my mother on one side and Emmett on the other as we walked into Bella's hospital room.

"Edward?" I heard her voice rasp and immediately ran towards the sound. My knees hit the edge of the bed and I gently extended my hands until I felt her warm hands guiding me down to her. I wrapped my arms around her tenderly as she held my face in her hands. I could feel the grateful tears rolling down my cheeks as she pressed her lips to mine.

"I love you." I cried as I let the anxiety and pain of the last hours overwhelm me.

"I love you too baby, but right now I am kinda pissed." She answered tightly, pushing against my shoulders so she could look at my face. I was clueless as to what she meant, and it must have reflected in my expression.

"Why has our little girl been all alone in the nursery this whole time?" She asked and I ducked my head.

"I could not see her without you. I wanted to experience it together." I whispered, and I could hear the ladies behind me sigh.

"Well, as sweet as that is, I would have rather had her daddy hold and comfort her until mommy could." She said, her voice getting thick with tears. I heard a squeaky noise coming from down the hall, followed by the oohs and ahhs from our family. Our little girl must have arrived.

"Ok mom and dad, are you ready to meet your little girl?" The nurse asked as she pushed in the glass bassinet. I moved aside so she could hand her to Bella and waited for her to describe her to me.

"Oh Edward, she looks just like you but with my hair." Bella laughed and I felt my eyes filling again with the pain of being denied seeing her first hand.

I reached my hands out as I sat on the edge of the bed. I wanted to hold her, to feel her soft skin. Bella gently placed the sturdy bundle in my hands and I could feel her chin resting on my shoulder as she looked at us. I slowly lifted my hand, making sure to hold tightly with the other. My hand shook as I stroked my finger down her satiny cheek and was suddenly blinded by light. I gasped as the sunlight from the windows turned my world orange before I adjusted to it and was able to make out the face of my baby girl.

"Hello Elizabeth." I whispered, before raising my watery eyes to my wife and watched her face split into a joyful smile as she realized I could see her. I blinked furiously as I took in the faces of my family as they stood in the doorway, their expressions all matching Bella's…shock and awe. I looked back down at the source of my miracle and laughed as she yawned hugely, apparently unaware of what she had done. I handed her back to Bella and sighed as my world was plunged into darkness again. I felt Bella take my hand and place it around Elizabeth's tiny fingers as she opened the snaps of her hospital gown and tried to get her to nurse. I watched with joy as her eyes fluttered up at me and then closed. Bella was not surprised that I had wanted to name our daughter Elizabeth. She had meant so much to Bella, and I knew it was a great memoriam to the lost little girl's memory.

Our child was a miracle in more ways than one. She had given me back the ability to see, although I quickly realized that I did not need to see her in order to feel the love she had for me. I was able to watch first hand as Bella's body changed again when she carried our son, Alec, and was overjoyed that with simply a touch against his skin he allowed me to see him as well. Through the years I was able to see my children grow and my wife get even more beautiful. I tried not to take advantage of my kids, wanting them to have as normal a childhood as they could. I cried when I watched them graduate from high school and then college. They got married and had children of their own, and I was able to see it all.

I was happy though, when it was just Bella and I in the house again. I loved spending quiet days and even quieter nights with her, showing her how much I loved her. Without her I would never have been able to see at all, let alone be blessed with two children and then five grandchildren. When she got sick and I watched her take her last breath surround by our family I knew I would see her again soon. I did not have to wait long as four weeks later I went to bed and never woke up. They called it a heart attack, but I told you I could not survive without my heart.

**A/N: Sigh. I cannot thank you all enough for joining me on this ride. I value and cherish every single review and alert I received from you. I hope this was a nice Christmas gift to those of you who celebrate and a nice Saturday gift to those of you who don't.**

**I look forward to seeing you when I eventually post my new story. Until then – Thank you.**

**With Love,**

**Kate**


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